"I was bullied very badly when I was in fourth grade. And I went through a whole year of being called dog chow because I didn't look the way that other people wanted me to look. And as you can imagine, it was a huge influence on the insecurities that would really overshadow my upbringing from that point on. "  -   Katherine Hinckley

Bienvenidos al podcast Mindshift Power, un programa para adolescentes y los adultos que trabajan con ellos, donde tenemos conversaciones sinceras y sinceras. Soy su anfitriona, Fátima Bey, la transformadora de mentes. Bienvenidos a todos. Hoy nos acompaña Catherine Hinckley, propietaria y estilista de Stylist Cat, una peluquería en Massachusetts, y también directora ejecutiva de Moso Method.

And, Catherine, can you tell us what CEO stands for? Yes. Thank you, first of all, for having me. CEO is chief empowerment officer. I like that empowerment.

Mhmm. Now tell us about your background. We'll start off there. Okay. Well, we're gonna we're gonna dive deep here, and I'm gonna go to where it all began, which was when I was a young girl, because everything starts from the beginning.

I was bullied very badly when I was in fourth grade. And I went through a whole year of being called dog chow because I didn't look the way that other people wanted me to look. And as you can imagine, it was a huge influence on the insecurities that would really overshadow my upbringing from that point on. Of course. But I was very truly fortunate and blessed that I had this ability of good influence in my life, and I was able to overcome those really self limiting beliefs that I have about myself because I was able to learn that this bullying had less to do with me and more about the people that were bullying me.

Okay. That that that awareness was, like, mind blowing for me because when you have this strength when you've never had strength before to realize that you're not the problem or an issue, then it gives you strength. So from there, I ended up growing and getting stronger, and I actually went into the beauty industry. So I became a hairdresser because I didn't want anybody else to feel ugly like I did at one point in my life. So for me, it was I actually went off to college.

So I'll give you a little bit more of the story. But I went off to college because I'm old. I'm 53. I'm not old. I'm in the prime of my life.

Yeah. I'm in the prime of my life. But when I was going to college, it was back in the eighties. And in the eighties, if you didn't go to college, you were quote unquote considered a dumb kid. So I was hesitant to go to hairdressing school.

So I brought myself off to college thinking that was what the expectation was. Mhmm. And I didn't do well. It was not my spiritual calling. I just didn't have the schooling, the discipline.

Estoy segura de que tenía la inteligencia, pero si no la aplicas, no te servirá de nada. Así que dejé la universidad y terminé yendo a la escuela de peluquería, y prosperé porque era justo donde se suponía que debía estar. Y, rápido, ya estaba en... Llevo más de treinta años en la industria de la belleza. ¡Guau! Como mencionaste, tengo y dirijo un salón de belleza.

And the nice thing about the beauty industry, which I didn't even know when I went into the beauty industry, is that it is deep. There are layers like an onion where if you get that initial training, you can go anywhere. I worked on the distribution side. I worked for manufacturers. I ended up getting internationally trained as an educator in a in a, national business development management role too, so I could train in The United States.

And then I eventually went out on my own and started my own business and created a system for personal and professional growth that helps anybody that wants to get themselves to their goals. I I I just wanna interject a little bit and say I really get why you got into getting into to hairdressing to make women feel beautiful. It is something that I I love about what I do. Anybody who listened to me already knows this, but for new listeners, I'm making design wedding gowns, and, and I do alterations on them. And I I tried to give it up after the pandemic, and I just couldn't.

Me encanta hacer que las mujeres se sientan hermosas en uno de los días más importantes de sus vidas. Y, como peluquera, puedo hacer lo mismo. Así que, de verdad, entiendo que, como peluquera, puedes tener tiempo a solas con ellas que a veces se convierte en sesiones de terapia. ¿Sí? Sí.

Amen, sister. Yeah. It is definitely, you know, there are very few people, very, very few professions that have a license to touch people, and a hairdresser is one of them. So we touch them physically where, you know, it's not okay to touch people. So we have that ability to touch people, but we touch them in a way that is soothing in like you said, it it gives them this feeling of their own personal empowerment.

And, yes, with wedding dresses, it is the same thing. It's like, gosh. You can't get better than that. No. I get to I I get to touch you, and I have to touch boobies also.

I told my friend who's a OBGYN that I touch boobies as much as he does. Which is in a different way. You know? Because when you're fitting, you have to physically touch people and, and be very close and personal with them. And and, I enjoy that because it's it gives us an opportunity to to sow seeds into lives with our words.

Even though what we're doing is physical, our words can make a difference, and the the pot is sitting right in front of us. So I always plant seeds. Yeah. Whether I realize I'm doing that or not. Most of the time, they realize that I'm doing that because I'm pretty transparent, and I don't, you know, I one thing I don't do is pretend.

But, but, yeah, I I love I love that you got into hairdressing for the right reason and not just because you wanted to make pretty. I mean, I do wedding also. I like to make pretty too, but, but to help women out. And I think that says a lot about your character, and you know, why you got into it. So and your character and how you care about other people.

Now I wanna know from you, what has hairdressing done for you? Well, hairdressing is I, you know, you said you tried to get out of your profession as well and, and it sucks you back in because of the feeling that it gives you that, that fulfillment and believing that hairdressing is exactly the same way for anybody that might be interested. It is one of those professions that it is something that for the person that's doing it. So for me, it actually gives me self worth and How's that? It's it's because you can see the changes in somebody else's confidence.

Yes. I mean, think about it. When you get up in the morning, if you put on the wrong clothes and you don't feel good in what you're wearing, you're kinda off all day. But when you're wearing something that you know you're rocking and you just feel totally comfortable in, your whole attitude changes. And being a hairdresser, this is somebody's look.

Now I am the kind of person that somebody's character, the person that they are on the inside is the most important thing. But, unfortunately, in this world, outward expression is there, and Right. People see that. But when you look good, you feel good. And when you're the artist behind that transformation for somebody, it's huge.

It makes you feel validated in for me, it's about trying to empower other people. So for me, I feel validated in that purpose, and it gives me self confidence. I, you know, I developed young, so I was never comfortable in my skin. I was bullied, as I said, when I was young, and I was never in the smart kid classes because I didn't apply myself. So I always had that that lack of confidence.

And I have been in the beauty industry for many decades at this point, so I have the mileage where I've done it many, many times. But when you do something and you can see somebody else feeling good about something that you've done, it gives you confidence. Mhmm. So you're building confidence, but it's kind of like you can't help somebody up the hill without getting up the hill yourself. I like that analogy.

Sigo pensando que comparo todo lo que dices con lo que hago como costurera de vestidos de novia. Y no lo había pensado del todo como lo acabas de decir, pero tienes toda la razón. Lo hace porque desarrollas confianza en ti misma cuando marcas la diferencia en la vida de otra persona, aunque sea solo por un día, aunque sea por un pequeño detalle. Mmm. Pero para nosotros es muy importante saber esto, ya sabes, para mí, saber que esta novia ahora se siente más segura para el día de su boda.

So all the other crap she's gotta deal with with her family, at least she needs to. You know? Because I I'm telling you, I've I've had a lot of really, really, really, really personal conversations with people, and I I love I really do love my brides. I love being able to make them feel like, you know, they're Princess. To make them feel like they're beautiful.

Y no se trata solo del aspecto físico. Mira, la cuestión es la siguiente: en las bodas, y sé que has peinado bodas, así que lo entiendes. Las bodas son uno de los días más emotivos en la vida de una mujer, o lo que es lo mismo, la boda y el nacimiento de un hijo. Esos son los dos días más emotivos en la vida de una mujer, y, ya sabes, normalmente.

Yeah. And, when a woman is getting married, unfortunately, weddings bring out and not just for the woman, but for the guys too. But weddings bring out the dynamics of your family, the dynamics of all your relationships. So all the crap that was already there starts to show itself. Mhmm.

And all the good that was already there also starts to show itself. You see a little bit of everything, and this can make a woman so emotional. So to have someone, whether it's a hairdresser or a seamstress, to be able or sometimes it's a wedding planner because they can sometimes do this too. To be able to give them a moment of ease, of less stress is such a big deal. Yep.

Now I said all that to lead into I want you to tell the audience what is the MOSO method. What does that stand for? What does it mean and how does it apply to teenagers? Okay. Well, I'm going to start by telling you the story of the giant bamboo, which is called the MOSO bamboo.

Escuché esta historia hace unos quince años. Esta es la historia: el bambú no es como la vegetación tradicional. Su semilla es tan dura que hay que plantarla en la tierra adecuada, regarla y fertilizarla a diario. Durante todo el primer año, la riegas, la fertilizas, la cuidas, la amas, le das todo el cariño que merece.

And after a whole year of doing this, you never see any growth above the surface of the of the ground. There's nothing there. And you're like, what the heck? I've been doing this and I've been being faithful and doing what I'm supposed to do, but there's nothing there. The whole second year, same thing.

You don't see anything. You're watering, you're nurturing, you're fertilizing. Third year, nothing. Fourth year, nothing. And then in that fifth year, all of a sudden in just over a month, the moso bamboo shoots out of the ground and it grows to upwards of 90 feet in just over a month.

It's unbelievable. So I'm not sure if you it's incredible it's incredible. I don't know if you've heard the expression that you can see bamboo grow. This is the plant that they're referring to because it literally grows, three meters a day. You can sit there and watch it grow.

So when I heard that message about the moso bamboo and learned about this incredible plant, which is actually a grass, I thought, crap. I've been giving up way too soon. Like, I would go through my disciplines and my practice and the work that I would do every day. I was working for corporate America, and I would expect and think that I should see my rewards, whether it be the proper pay, commissions, advancement in my career, whatever it is. I was doing what I thought I should be doing, but I wasn't seeing a reward, so I'd move on.

Y me di cuenta de que estaba avanzando demasiado pronto. Y esto me hizo comprender que el hecho de que no veamos que las cosas sucedan no significa que no estén sucediendo. Porque durante cinco años sí. El hecho de que no veamos que las cosas sucedan no significa que no estén sucediendo. Durante cinco años, ese bambú, con su sistema de raíces, ha estado creciendo bajo tierra, fortaleciéndose muchísimo para que, cuando ese enorme bambú brote, pueda sostener su crecimiento.

So move forward to what I created, which was the MOSO method. I created a a method with this idea in mind because it made sense to me. I had gone through life doing one of two things, either doing all this strategy that I thought was the most important thing because Mhmm. Traditionally, it was back in the olden days, and you do just the work. But then when I started to learn about emotional intelligence, which is probably another podcast, which is really the soft skills that goes along with life or, quote, unquote, life skills, When I learned about that, I applied that to everything that I did, but that also didn't make me successful.

And what I learned is that you had to combine both disciplines, the personal life skills, with the active strategy to sustain your goals, to reach your goals. So the system I created, which is called the MOSO method, is a simple six step program that if you apply it to anything in your life, you will be successful. And it takes the vowels of the American vocabulary, which is a e I o u y. We've all learned it and know it. And our vocabulary is 26 letters, but this is just a tiny, tiny portion of it.

But without those vowels, without that those letters, none of it would be understood. And that's how I think about the Moso method with our lives. So a, e, I, o, u, y represent attitude, effort, intent, opportunity, uniqueness, and then you, because you or I are the only people that can make something happen in our lives. So the way that this applies to teenagers and any human that wants to be successful is that it teaches us that number one, everything starts with a good root system, so you need to know your fundamentals and what the basics of going through life are. And then the second thing it takes is daily behaviors.

Very small activities every day going in the right direction will lead you to where you're going. We're all going through life. And in five years, the teenagers of today, they're gonna be adults and they're gonna end up somewhere. The question is where. So they can either go through life accidentally and end up wherever life takes them, or they can choose to be intentional with something like the Moso method.

There are great methods out there. Of course, I love the Moso method because I created it. But if they have intention in their life, they are much more likely, 92% more likely to reach the goal they want. I you said 92%. I disagree.

Diría 95. Me quedo con tu número. Una de las razones, hablemos con el público ahora mismo. Una de las razones por las que, Catherine, vamos, es que me enamoré de inmediato de su analogía con la planta de bambú más grande. Y estoy totalmente de acuerdo en que este método es válido para todos, pero muy efectivo si lo aplicamos, aunque entendamos que no todos lo aplicaremos de la misma manera.

Applying it for a 44 year old versus a 14 year old, they're gonna look different. They're not gonna be that different. They're gonna be the same in principle, but they're gonna look different. So now, Catherine, I'm gonna ask you. Let's say I'm a senior in high school, and I'm going to college next year.

And I don't want to pay I wanna pay for college without 90,000,000 freaking dollars in debt. So how do I apply the MOSO method in my situation? Well, you know, the biggest thing with the MOSO method, I'm gonna start with how what the mentality or mindset should be going into that next stage of life. Because even though college is still school, it is a completely different animal because when we think about elementary school or or fundamental schooling into high school, it's familiar. Even if we end up going to a regional school where you meet new kids, you still have that security of where you've always been.

Así que la jerarquía a la que nos hemos acostumbrado nos resulta familiar, lo cual para algunos chicos puede ser genial y para otros puede ser malo. Cierto. Lo bueno de la universidad es que puede ser un nuevo comienzo. Y la mentalidad con la que la abordas puede cambiarlo todo. Así que lo primero que les diría a los estudiantes de preparatoria es que entiendan que ustedes mismos lo acaban de decir, y lo último es que nadie puede hacer nada por ustedes si no lo hacen por sí mismos.

Así que para comprender la responsabilidad personal que tendrás que aplicar en todo lo que haces. Y si quieres no endeudarte, claro, sabemos que estudiar puede ayudarte a conseguir el dinero. Becas. Sí. Sí.

Scholarships. I just had a senior moment right there. Woo. Oh, that's okay. I have them too.

Yeah. Senior moment. Senior moment. But, also, one thing that I can say. So I have children in college.

So I can say that my daughter, when she was getting ready to go to college now, of course, I try to help as much as I can, but she luckily, I'd instilled this personal accountability into her long ago because who else do you lecture but your kids? Any chance that you can get. So she had applied. If you go online as a student, you can look look up all of the different scholarships that they give, and you would be amazed at what they give scholarships for. You could be first first born in your family.

You could be blue eyed and they give a scholarship for it. They you could be blonde hair. It doesn't matter what you are. If you look up all the random scholarships, it's gonna help. So putting yourself out there and not being embarrassed of asking for everything because, of course, we all know that the answer is always no if we don't ask the question.

Así que pide ayuda. Asegúrate de contactar a quien sea y como sea posible para averiguar cómo puedes recibir ayuda financiera y apoyo educativo. Pero lo otro que quería añadir es que la gente con la que te rodeas importa. Y mucho. Durante la escuela hasta la graduación de la preparatoria, ya sabes, es difícil cambiar de amigos, y no hay necesidad de deshacerse de ellos.

But if your friends are not building you up and supporting you and pushing you towards a better future, it's time to find new additional friends. Oh, yeah. I saw a picture of, James Cameron, who is a huge filmmaker of our time, probably, arguably, one of the top filmmakers of our time. And in this picture, it was a picture of him sitting at a table at his fiftieth birthday party. And surrounding him at his table was Brian De Palma, Ron Howard, Morton Scorsese, like, six different highly decorated film producers and directors.

In one of the teenagers may not know who those people are. Yes. But think of anybody massive. Think of think of think of, Jaws and Titanic, like these massive blockbuster of the yesteryear. And when I saw this picture, I thought to myself, well, duh.

I mean, of course, they're all hanging out. They probably put them together promotionally because they're all massive films film directors. But then when I read the article, what I learned is that they're not hanging out because because they're these big stars. They're big stars because they were friends. They met when they were young starting film school.

And they challenged each other and supported each other. And it's who you surround yourself with that makes all the difference. I wanna take a moment back, and talk to eighth graders right now. Okay. Because when I say teens, some of them are in eighth grade right now.

Mhmm. And when you, you're going from eighth grade to ninth grade, that's actually a big deal for everybody. I don't care who you are and what town you grew up in and what school you're going to. For the most part, for most people that that's a big deal. It's a big change.

Es otro nivel. Y harás nuevos amigos. Cuando pienso en tu Método MOSA y en lo que dijiste, y esto es probablemente lo que más me impactó, no ves nada durante años. Sigues plantando las semillas.

Sigues regando. Sigues cuidándolo. Sigues poniendo, sigues poniendo, sigues poniendo. No ves resultados durante mucho tiempo, y de repente, ¡zas!, tienes un crecimiento enorme, y es uno de los más fuertes.

No sabía que se consideraba una gramínea porque la considero un... sí, un árbol. Pero es la madera más sostenible y resistente que existe. Sí, madera.

Esa es la palabra. Gracias. Y es, sí, la más fuerte del mundo. Así que cuando estamos en octavo y pasamos a noveno, o incluso sin importar en qué grado estés, vas a una nueva escuela, es prácticamente lo mismo. Necesitamos... quiero que todos los que nos escuchan, si ese es tu caso, piensen en el método MOSA.

I want you to remember that plan. And whatever you're whatever you're going to next, keep in mind, you might have to deposit and keep doing the same right thing over and over again. And don't expect microwave real quick results because the things that really last in life, you don't usually get you know, they don't usually develop overnight. So some of the friendships that you have, to piggyback on what, Catherine was saying, to pick some of the friendships that you have are they might be what makes the difference in your future life because where you're headed now is determined by who's attached around you. Mhmm.

Yeah. That's so true. You know, you you just said bank account, and I use the analogy of depositing if in this imaginary bank account, all of these positive things that you do, like your attitude and your behaviors and how you treat other people, it all adds up. Because down the road, you can pull from that bank account. It's how you develop your networking, which is so helpful in the future of life.

And another piece of advice for those younger for for all of you that are listening, one thing that I noticed even in my own children, it was kind of a block because and even as an adult, I have to say it happens to us. It's really easy to let our ego get in the way of our happiness, and I want to explain what that means. Listen. We all believe what we believe, and we we have our own feelings about things, which is legitimate because we are all brought up our own particular ways and certain things that touch us, they evoke an emotional reaction, and that's okay. But when we can become self aware enough, and this is a very hard thing to do even as an adult.

Así que, si te sumas a esto como estudiante, estarás mucho más adelantado que todos los que te rodean. Pero si eres lo suficientemente consciente de ti mismo como para reconocer que, cuando hay una oportunidad de cambio y ese cambio se transforma en una creencia de la que quizás no eras consciente o con la que no estabas de acuerdo al principio, pero dejas de lado tu ego y te adaptas a lo que se te presente, encontrarás más felicidad. Y dicho esto, no tengo nada más que decir porque creo que tienes razón. Bien. Dicho esto, Catherine, te agradezco que hayas venido y hablado con nuestros jóvenes.

And I know there's adults who are listening just as much, and heard everything that you said. So if people are looking to learn more about your your coaching methods and what you do, how can they find you? Yeah. So they can just go right to my website, which is mosomethod.com, m 0 s 0 method Com. I do have a book that I wrote.

I prefer the audible version. I did narrate it myself, so I can read it to you. You can download it right on Audibles, or the book is called The Moso Method, a simple system for personal and professional growth. And it is really just a a a simple system. Alright.

Well, thank you for for coming on, and I I'm hoping that we were able to plant some seeds today. I believe that we did. Just talking about that Mosso analogy, I think, may have, you know, planted some seeds in in some mines that will hopefully turn into bamboo later. Yeah. I hope so.

Muchas gracias por permitirme unirme a su podcast, y les deseo a todos un Año Nuevo maravilloso. Y ahora, un momento para cambiar de mentalidad. Quiero que reflexionen sobre esto: todo lo que están haciendo para construir un futuro mejor, para construir su carrera, su negocio, su autoestima y su carácter. Están depositando dinero ahora mismo. Sigan depositando como el brote de bambú, como la planta de bambú.

You may have to plant and water and water and take care and continue to make those deposits until one day it matures. You don't wanna keep putting money into a bank account and then close it before the money matures. Do not quit. Do not give up on what you are sowing into right now. Please continue to do it.

This podcast is for teens, but I'm talking to you adult listeners too. Don't quit. Keep sowing those seeds. You will see a strong plant arise if you don't quit. I want you to think about that.

Please be encouraged. Please continue to deposit. Parents, keep doing the right thing and teaching your kids the right thing. You may not see the results until they mature. Don't quit.

Sigue adelante. Gracias por escuchar el podcast "El Poder del Cambio Mental". Dale "Me gusta" y suscríbete a mi canal de YouTube, "The Mind Shifter". Si tienes algún comentario, sugerencia de tema o quieres ser invitado al programa, visita Fatima Bay.com/podcast. Recuerda: cambiar tu forma de pensar tiene poder.

Tune in for next week.