" Talking about sex does not mean you are encouraging them to have sex. It is a great way to ensure that your child has the information to make good decisions for themselves when you can have open and honest conversations around sexuality and relationships. "  -   Christina Morelli

Welcome to Mindshift Power podcast, a show for teenagers and the adults who work with them, where we have raw and honest conversations. I'm your host, Fatima Bey, the mind shifter. And welcome. So to on today's episode, we have with us Christina Morelli. Christina from Christina Morelli Coaching.

She is out of North Carolina, and she is a very passionate certified relationship coach and educator. And today, we're gonna talk about relationship modeling and the realities of sex for this generation. Now we're gonna do something a little different today because today, we are actually going to talk specifically to parents. So parents, listen up. And if you're a teenager listening, you probably just gonna you're probably just gonna yell at this the, audio and say, preach your own sister.

So, Christina, how are you doing today? I'm awesome. Fatima, how are you? I'm I'm pretty awesome. I'm really happy about doing this episode.

We had a lot of conversation, like, really long conversation about doing this episode, and and I'm really excited to to, to do it. So, Christine, let's start off by telling us more about what you do. Yeah. I am a relationship coach and educator, and I like to throw the word educator in there because there are a lot of aspects of relationships that are skills that can be developed. Mhmm.

Sin embargo, nunca nos enseñaron formalmente cómo desarrollar esas habilidades específicas. Nos enseñan cómo contribuir al mundo laboral, pero no cómo tener relaciones significativas e impactantes. Otros aspectos de las relaciones que se pueden enseñar son la comunicación y la escucha activa. Aunque son generales, los desgloso en formas que brindan marcos para que las personas puedan completar las líneas y facilitar el proceso paso a paso, porque las relaciones son complejas. Los humanos somos aún más complejos.

So when you combine two people with different backgrounds, different values, it's really important to have those skills available to actually create a really strong bond between two people. Well, isn't a relationship supposed to be just about falling in love and great sex and that's it? I wish it was that easy, Fatima. I wish it was that easy. Unfortunately, no.

If you want to actually have a healthy relationship that lasts a long time and you enjoy for a long time. Right? There's there's one aspect of relationships where you're in a relationship but aren't really happy for it in that in that relationship. And that often is because we don't have the self awareness or the training around the skills of what it means to actually be able to sustain Mhmm. A really passionate long term relationship.

The trope and idea that after so much time, we fall out of love or we lose interest in each other or we grow apart, all of that can actually be corrected at any point early on or even in a deep long term relationship to foster and nurture a more intentional mindful relationship. Very, very true. I I just wanna add a little sidebar there. I think sometimes people, when it comes to relationships, because they don't understand themselves or the purpose of a relationship, they're making the wrong choices with a mate in the first place. Absolutely.

Picking somebody just because they're nice or sexy or have money, and those are all those are all things, and they do matter. But, but they're not enough, and they don't it doesn't mean that they match you. Yeah. Absolutely. And the compatibility aspect is so often overlooked.

Oftentimes, people confuse the initial chemistry between people as compatibility, and that is not true. I I completely agree. Yeah. Let's dive into what we really wanna talk about. I can't wait.

Tell the audience and, again, we're talking to parents specifically in this episode. So what is relationship modeling? What do we mean when we say that? What I think about when I think of relationship modeling is living with integrity in the sense of I'm going to participate in my relationships in the way that I would want my children to engage in relationships. I'm sorry.

Can you repeat that again for the people in the back? Yes. It's living with integrity. It is you live it's it's you engaging in relationships the way you would want your child to engage in relationships. So it starts with looking at yourself as a parent and looking at the actions that you're doing.

What are you living? What are your children seeing? What are your children experiencing? Even if it's not being seen, they are still experiencing the reverberations of what's happening within a relationship. And when you can live with the integrity of doing what you say you're going to do or what you're going to preach to your child to do, you can have more meaningful conversations with your children and avoid the, well, you don't do that, or why do I have to do that, but you don't have to do that.

Right? And we fall into this trap of, like, well, I'm an adult. I can do what I want, or things are different because I know more. That's not necessarily true. And your children are way more sensitive and attuned and observant than we give them time before.

And it's so smart. So smart. We you're smart. You're just a kid. You don't know nothing.

They're soaking up everything that we do. Everything we do. Everything we do and everything we say, and they're learning from it. Can you let's talk about some examples of of what of what relationship modeling looks like. Absolutely.

One thing that you talked about when we were preparing for this call was if you're bringing people home all of the time, different people. For why don't you why don't you share that, and then I'll add my 2¢. Sometimes we don't again, as parents don't realize, our children are learning about relationships from us, period, good or bad, whatever we're doing. They're learning about what a healthy relationship does or does not look like. And sometimes they're learning about what relationship doesn't look like.

Así que les enseñamos el valor de una relación según cómo las valoramos. Si solo somos unas putas y traemos a alguien a casa cada dos semanas (y eso no es una palabra de género, porque también hay hombres putas), sí. Simplemente lo somos, y exagero un poco. Pero si solo traemos a casa, ya sabes, a una pareja diferente cada dos semanas o cada dos meses, cuando tenemos un nuevo novio o novia, eso es malo.

Les estamos enseñando que las relaciones son superficiales. Les estamos enseñando que las relaciones no se valoran. Entiendo perfectamente que puedes salir con quien quieras, que es tu derecho salir con tantas personas como quieras, y que solo quieres un montón de amigos con derechos. Oye, ya eres un adulto.

That's your prerogative. But it's you take it to another level when you bring them home in front of your kids. It teaches them. You know? It teaches them bad things.

Y te lo haré saber. Son esos patrones de los que hablas los que luego trasladamos a la edad adulta. Y no culpamos a los padres, porque lo que tú, como padre, expresas con tus acciones y palabras es probablemente lo que aprendiste de niño. Así que esto se remonta a la formación generacional, o puedes llamarlo trauma generacional. Así que no es tu culpa.

¿Verdad? Pero puedes romper ese ciclo y empezar a dar el nuevo ejemplo. Otro ejemplo que me gusta mencionar es cómo peleas con tu pareja. ¡Dios mío! Sí.

Hablen de ello. Si explotan, insultan, amenazan, ignoran los sentimientos y la experiencia de la otra persona o toleran cosas que no deberían tolerar, eso es modelar. Tu hijo lo percibirá en todo lo que hagas. Lo más probable es que lo hagas porque así te lo enseñaron. Y la única manera de detenerlo es ser muy consciente de lo que sucede y decidir tomar una decisión diferente, involucrarte de otra manera y aprender a hacerlo.

The it's it's not as easy, I guess, as just deciding. The important aspect is I don't want to keep acting like this, or this isn't what I want my child to to do. So I need to make different decisions, but I don't know how to make different decisions because I never had the opportunity to witness a different option. Right. So that is where, you know, therapists come in, coaches come in, or, ultimately, something as simple as Google searching.

You know, what is the best way to talk about sex with my child? What age should I start talking about sex with my child? Because it starts so young from as early as playing with very sexualized Barbie dolls Mhmm. To TV shows. Porn is so accessible now.

And the more we can have those honest, shameless conversations with our children, the more it holds us accountable as adults to live, again, with that integrity and make it a safe space for your children to come and talk to you about sex. Talking about sex does not mean you are encouraging them to have sex. It is a great way to ensure that your child has the information to make good decisions for themselves when you can have open and honest conversations around sexuality and relationships. I kinda wanna I wanna piggyback a little bit on, what Christina just said, to those of you listening and just kinda say it in a different way. As a parent, you know, as she just said, we we grew up with whatever we grew up with, and sometimes we grew up with parents who were screwed up themselves.

I mean, let's just be real. They weren't perfect. They were yelling all the time, and we we you know, sometimes we we are expected to have healthy relationships when we've never actually seen a healthy relationship. It's like expecting someone to drive who's never been taught how to drive. And, you know, as parents, all we can do is to do our best.

Y a veces, lo mejor de ti puede provenir de la ignorancia. No lo sabes. Pero aun así, haces lo mejor que puedes. Así que, como dijo Christina, no se trata de ir a ver a los padres. Lo estás haciendo fatal.

You're making a bad example. And maybe some of you are making bad examples, and maybe some of you are really good. But for if you if you know that I just described you, okay. So now you know so you can make a change. Even if you don't know how to have a healthy relationship, you do know how to not to have an unhealthy relationship in front of your kids.

Eso es un cambio, una decisión que puedes tomar ahora si eres tú. Y si eres, ya sabes, padre o madre y piensas: "¡Vaya! Soy tan imperfecto. He salido con una persona diferente cada año". Bueno.

No todos los años son iguales. Mmm. Si tienes diferentes novios o novias a lo largo de tu vida, no es raro. ¿De acuerdo? Así que no te lo tomes como una reprimenda, porque no es así.

That's not abnormal, and you're not teaching them to to devalue relationships. But if it's too frequent, I I brought that up because it's a real freaking issue. I see kids all the time. They're just like, oh, well, my mom was had a different boyfriend every other week, or my dad sleeps with 10 women. You're you're teaching we're teaching our kids, period, no matter what we're doing, good or bad.

Yeah. You're normalizing certain behaviors and activities that we wouldn't necessarily want our children to replicate. If you don't want your children to replicate it, don't do it. And you can't and and, again, you can't do anything. I wanna add this.

You can't do anything about the past. Like I said, if if we're talking about you, okay. We're talking about you right now. So what can you do about it? You can make a change from now.

And that change can be have a huge positive impact on your child. When they see that you used to do x y z, but now you're doing a b c, they learn from that too. So as parents, you're not expected to be perfect. Anybody who thinks a parent's supposed to be perfect needs to wake up because they're only living in a dream. Yeah.

Okay. Part of being a parent is also learning, from your parenting because we make mistakes. Yes. And you don't know what you don't know until you are a parent. Right?

Puedes tener todos estos ideales en torno a la paternidad. O sea, soy un gran ejemplo de... "Yo nunca haría eso con mi hijo". Y luego, una vez que te conviertes en padre, piensas: "Entiendo lo que significa. Quiero matar a este niño ahora mismo". ¿Verdad?

So the realities are different than what we what we imagine parenting to be, and you're right. We all do the best that we can. And what I really appreciate about what you said is, like, we can make a new decision at every at any moment in our life to to move forward in a better way that that shows value. I I love the quote. Like, today is gonna be the first day of the rest of my life, so I'm going to make better decisions every single day.

And we will falter. We will fall back into old patterns. It is inevitable. But the Right. What the great, example that you can show is, like, yes, I started faltering, but I'm getting better.

Estoy siendo más constante. Y eso es algo invaluable para los niños en general. ¿Verdad? Poder decirle a mi hijo: «Sé que he salido con personas que no me han tratado bien, y ahora decido hacerlo de otra manera. Y te lo voy a demostrar con mis acciones, no solo con mis palabras».

Sí. Y demostrar que puedes cambiar tu vida para mejor, ser mejor persona, vivir mejor porque empiezas a valorarte mucho más. Y luego puedes mostrarles a tus hijos lo que significa valorarse como ser humano y saber que mereces ciertos aspectos de la vida. ¿Verdad? Mereces respeto.

You it is a human right for love. It is a human right for pleasure. It is a human right to to engage with other people in a way that feels good to us. And you don't have to engage in unhealthy ways, like having people scream at you, calling you names, or leaving you and then coming back, leaving you and coming back. Right?

Or you doing the other one, the other you being on the reverse aspect of that. So every day is is the first day of the rest of your life, and you get to make that choice to live it differently. I wanna add something and speak to a very specific audience in this moment. If you are a woman that has that has a boyfriend right now that beats on you, you're dealing with domestic violence. Mhmm.

This especially applies to you. I have been the child of watching that. And let me tell you, it it does traumatize your children. And I'm not saying that to give you a guilt trip. I'm saying that to give you a reality check.

Por favor, salgan. Y si salen, demuéstrenles, como acaba de decir, que pueden salir y que es posible cambiar. Eso les enseña a sus hijos una lección mucho más grande que todas las demás cosas malas. Sí. Solo quería añadir eso.

Thank you. With that, it's not really a segue, but we're gonna go into the next part. Yeah. We're gonna talk about sex for this generation. Yeah.

And and what the realities of sex are for this generation. And I'm gonna say this bluntly, and then I will let Christina take it from there. But something that we talked that I said to her in in in our conversation before this is for parents listening, have a seat. Brace yourself because this is reality. The average 10 year old right now could tell you how to suck a dick.

Yes. I just said that. It is absolutely true. It is not a good thing. I I agree with you that it's a really bad thing, and it shouldn't be the case, but it is.

We are so electronically connected that you can't chill shield your children unless you live like the Amish. You cannot shield your children from the realities that are out there. That's so true. And speaking of things better teaching children, when you have access, when porn is so easily accessible, when bodies are so highly sexualized on social media with AI nowadays taking celebrities' faces and putting them on different bodies, and you can't even tell that it's not the celebrity because the AI is so good Mhmm. Creates such a dysmorphia around the ideas we have of what sexy is, what beautiful is, what sex is in general, especially when we think about porn.

Porn is such a a look. I'm a fan of porn, I'll be honest. I don't really watch porn, but I'm not a shame I'm not a porn shamer by any means. I think porn can add value to people's lives in the sense of, like, giving people permission to do some naughty things that maybe they're ashamed of and an opportunity to be like, okay. Maybe this is something I'm into.

But I the the important aspect of teaching children is, like, this isn't reality. Okay? Your body's not always gonna your body's not gonna look like this, most likely. And having really rough sex that you see in porn doesn't probably feel good for most women if we're if we're being honest. Sometimes it does, sometimes it doesn't.

So we need to have really honest conversations with children at young ages around, you know, just even, like, as young as, like, one or two. Like, these are the body parts and using proper names for them. And you can't shield your children from this. They're going to get their hands on it either way. Yeah.

Yeah. We cannot shield our children from it. So the younger you can actually start talking about these conversations and topics, the more likely they're going to be able to make informed decisions for themselves based off of somebody that they trust, rely on, and feel safe with, which is you, their parent, their caregiver. And there's so many influences. You were talking about pimps and hoes when we were when we were You took my line.

Chatting. No. Go for it. I'm sorry. No.

Go for it. What I was saying what I was saying to Christina, I was gonna bring up here is that this is one of the reason we had such a long conversation. As as parents, I'm I'm I'm saying gonna say a few shocking things because you need to understand the reality that our kids are living in. The tradition of talking about the birds and the bees when they're older can't be that that can't happen anymore. They if you think your kids haven't seen porn, you're wrong.

Unless they have lived under a rock or you like I said, you live like the Amish, they have seen porn. I promise you they have. They're not gonna share it with you because they know it's not okay, but they have. And that's the reality that they're living in right now. I mean, I I know eight year olds that could tell you a lot of sexual stuff that I haven't even done.

And that sounds crazy, but it's reality. And here's what I have to say about like, I wanna, you know, go on with what Christina said about, you know, you gotta talk to you gotta talk to these kids when they're younger about sex. When, for me, I say, and I have said it for years, as soon as they're curious about sex or where babies come from, you need to be the one to answer that. If you brush it off, they're going to answer it because they're curious. They're gonna satisfy that curiosity one way or the other.

Y si no es de ti, será de Johnny Nasty Boy de la calle, de su tío de la cuadra, o de los proxenetas y prostitutas que los rodean en la escuela. Y cuando digo proxenetas y prostitutas, me refiero a la mentalidad. No me refiero necesariamente a proxenetas y prostitutas de verdad. Pero simplemente les estoy dando un nombre a las personalidades o mentalidades. Así que van a obtener esta información.

They're going to learn about sex one way or the other. Wouldn't it be best if they learn it from you? Mhmm. If they're learning it from you as the parent, that means that they can come talk to you. If they can talk to you, you're gonna be able to curtail the bad things that other people are going to lay in their brains or on their bodies.

Right? Exactly. There's no way to avoid the social influence of sex, but there are ways to provide wisdom and insight as their number one person in their life. And it starts as something as, like you said, asking like, when your child asks where do babies come from, I I believe one of the best approaches is asking them, like, what do you know about it so far? Yes.

Y ver qué saben al respecto. Si hay desinformación, ahora es la oportunidad de corregirla y ser una persona confiable y creíble con la que puedan hablar y en la que puedan confiar para ser honestos. La educación sexual que tenemos hoy en día, que llega demasiado tarde, en mi opinión, es lo que el celibato, usar protección. Nadie habla realmente de las realidades del sexo. Cierto.

Consent is huge. Right? Consent is way more than just sex. You should ask for consent to even touch another human being because some people aren't comfortable with touch. Some people who have been abused or molested don't feel comfortable giving hugs.

And that's another way you can actually model consent with just family members, your children. If your child doesn't wanna be touched, don't touch them. Respect their boundaries. Show them that what it means to be to have boundaries and have them respected. So in the future or even in the present, when those boundaries aren't respected, they get to be able to recognize, like, my boundary is being crossed, and now I have a chance to voice like, that's a violation of my boundary, obviously, probably in different terms.

Right? But you understand the idea. Mhmm. But it doesn't matter because no matter whether it's you, school, TV, social media, the Internet, we have so many influences, those pimp and hoe influences, like Fatima was saying, that will will curb their curiosity or give them wrong information or information we don't want them to base their decisions off of. So you have to be willing to have these conversations with them early and young and what that looks like, what it looks like to have consent, what it looks like to engage in sex.

Does sex always mean penis and vaginal penetration? Right? No. It doesn't. And they're Not nowadays.

Hoy en día no. Exactamente. De hecho, leí un artículo, que me entristece mucho, que dice que muchos jóvenes ya ni siquiera se besan. Simplemente van directo al sexo por la pornografía que han estado viendo. Eso es lo que les están inculcando.

So people are already even engaging in, like, those hot make out sessions that I Yeah. You know, you had when you were a teenager in the back seat of your car. And it's just oral sex for some reason. Yes. Oral sex is huge amongst elementary school kids.

And I know y'all don't wanna hear that, but it's true. It is actually true. It really is true, and it's it's heartbreaking, but there are things we can do. Right. Exactly.

No podemos detenerlo, pero sí podemos informarles y darles el conocimiento necesario para empoderarlos. Creo que la palabra más importante que usas, Christina, y que me parece poderosa, es "desinformación". Mmm. Como padres, si no respondemos a nuestros hijos sobre las cosas que les interesan, más allá del sexo, es casi seguro que recibirán información errónea de otra persona. Y eso, para mí, es aún más aterrador.

I would much rather see parents you know? And it's an uncomfortable conversation. Let's not pretend like it's oh, yeah. Let's just easily talk about that. And maybe in some households, you can easily talk about that, but, in a lot of households because there are parents out there who already do this, then they do you know, they're very sexually open with their kids from from the get go.

But there's a you know, I think the greater portion of parents are not comfortable with this because they they probably weren't raised like that. Mhmm. But we have to keep in mind, our kids are growing up in a completely, totally, and utterly different world than we did. Some of those traditional ways don't work anymore. Mhmm.

And one of them is ignoring or pretending, you know, ignoring the conversation about sex or pretending like they're not curious, and it doesn't matter. If you haven't had a conversation about about sex with your child and they're 13, trust me. They they're already going there. Mhmm. And I know y'all don't wanna hear that, but it's true.

Mmm. Y creo que es una conversación importante, ¿sabes?, para que la gente la entienda. Sí. Y creo que se trata de quién llega primero, ¿verdad?

Yeah. That's a good way to put it. Yeah. You're right. Who who gets there first?

Who gets that attention of your child first on those topics that we're talking about? And you want you wanna be that first person to to engage in those conversations. You don't wanna wait for them to necessarily bring it up. It's okay to do that, especially if you feel a lot of shame around conversations around sex or have a lot of biases or beliefs that maybe don't serve you or serve your own child's, needs. Right?

Mmm. Pero si logramos llegar primero y tener esas conversaciones descaradas, es difícil porque, por alguna razón, el sexo sigue siendo un tabú, y creo que debería normalizarse. Creo que deberíamos hablar del sexo como si fuera el clima, porque es nuestra fuerza biológica más importante como seres humanos. Es como si estuviéramos destinados a procrear desde la parte más reptiliana de nuestro cerebro. Así que el sexo va a ser parte de nuestras vidas, y punto.

And if you can start if you can start engaging in those conversations now, I would suggest doing that. Just yeah. To add, I think that because we're gonna wrap it up. But I think that these two subjects, relationship modeling and, and sex, are probably the two hardest discussions to have with kids without kids. And but they are the strongest points of discussions you can have with your kids if you really wanna bond with them.

Y realmente quieres que te vean como una fuente de información. Porque si te ven como un recurso, si te ven como alguien en quien confiar información, puedes marcar una gran diferencia en sus vidas, en lugar de dejar que todas esas otras influencias externas lo hagan, porque solo son proxenetas y prostitutas. Tú quieres ser la influencia clave, no los proxenetas y prostitutas. Prostitutas. Sí.

And Fatima, I'd like to ask a question that I think might be helpful. So what advice would you give parents on how to engage in the sexual conversation? It's really hard for parents to be able to see their children, their babies, as, like, their own individual autonomous human being that at some point is inevitably going to have sexual desires. Those conversations are super uncomfortable for a lot of parents because they want to maintain that, like, purity and innocence. So how do you how would you suggest, you know, being able to objectively put yourself in a position to have that conversation and remove any of that discomfort or at least lessen the discomfort around having those sexual conversations with your with your, quote, unquote, babies.

Porque es difícil cuando se trata de tu hijo. Es tu bebé. Lo proteges. Amas su inocencia. Amas su pureza.

Y cuando empiezas a abrir esas conversaciones, empiezas a eliminar esa ilusión de que tu hijo es un ser humano independiente, que tiene sus propios deseos. Eso ocurrirá inevitablemente a medida que crezca. Entonces, ¿qué consejo darías sobre cómo abordar estas conversaciones cuando puede ser muy difícil ver a tu hijo con la edad suficiente para realmente querer tener relaciones sexuales? Primero, me alegra que lo hayas preguntado.

It's first, it is not easy. You want we want our babies to stay babies. They're precious. We love them. Remember when they used to cling to us when they were four?

They ain't four no more. Mhmm. I think the bigger the the what can help mentally because I'm a mind shifter, so I I help people to shift their thinking to accomplish whatever they need to accomplish. For for me, not just with childbearing, but with anything, look at the bigger picture. Believe in the value that that conversation will have for them.

Y si realmente lo analizas y lo ves como algo más grande que la incomodidad que sentirás al tener esa conversación, es más fácil tenerla. No digo que sea fácil. Así que, déjame reformularlo porque no creo que sea fácil. Pero para estar dispuesto, tienes que estar dispuesto a admitir que tu hijo va a crecer. Y aunque parezca simple, no es fácil.

But at the same time, if you take too long to realize that, there are repercussions that they will pay for if you don't. Mhmm. They're gonna make mistakes that you could have helped them to avoid. Yeah. And and if you if your child is a teenager and you haven't had those conversations, it may be too late to go back to adolescence and take back what they've done, but start to ease into those conversations now.

Todavía puedes hacerlo. Puedes empezar ahora. Siempre puedes empezar ahora sobre cualquier tema, casi cualquier tema, de hecho. Siempre puedes empezar ahora desde donde estás, porque no puedes empezar desde donde no estás. Sí.

Start now from where you are and try to ease into those conversations. Don't just come at them all at once and try to go from a to a to z all at once because that's just gonna make them run away. Yeah. Ease into the conversations bit by bit, subject by subject, talk about things little by little. And even if you just say, look.

I know I didn't have these conversations with you, and I should have. You know, I just wanna make sure that I'm not being ignorant as a parent. What do you think about this and that? Sometimes just being that transparent can be mind blowing to a teenager. Like, oh my god.

I can actually I can actually talk to anyone. And and the other key thing is when they say something you don't, like, don't cut them off and start yelling at them. That is the absolute worst thing you can do. Even as an adult, if somebody starts doing that to you, how do you react? Mhmm.

Teenagers are no different. The worst thing you could do is tell them how stupid their ideas are or how wrong they are. And even if they're wrong even if their ideas are stupid and wrong Yeah. Listen first. Yeah.

At least listen first. And then, like, I don't think that's a good idea, but here's why. You can still have that conversation because you're right. If you're if you're right, you're right. But don't immediately cut them off and start yelling because what you're telling them is they can't talk to you, and they need to go to the pimps and holes instead.

Yes. And I'm putting it that bluntly because it really is that extreme. Yes. And there's some really good resources. I can if you wanna put them in the show notes, Fatima, of some awesome books that can help with starting the conversation or even informing you as a parent, how to have these conversations at different stages, different ages.

Like, there's one that's called sex is a funny word for really young people. There's a a sex education for teens book. Right? And it goes throughout this list goes through, like, the different age stages and some really awesome supporting books that talk about boundaries, consent, LGBTQ plus community, puberty, what's happening to the body, and how this is going to impact their lives in the sense of how they're gonna start interacting with other other people from a relational and sexual perspective. So I think maybe it would be helpful to provide some of these resources, because, you know, in this twenty twenty, thirty minute podcast, we're not gonna be able to give you all the details, but there are the resources out there to support that change moving forward.

And I also wanna just touch base on something that you said about, like, when you are able to be transparent with your child, that is also a great modeling tip. Right? Yes. Yes. Yes.

Awesome way to model to your child. Like, I'm gonna be vulnerable and transparent. This isn't an easy conversation for me because I love you, and I wanna I want to keep that innocence. You're my baby, but the reality is x. And I want us to be able to have a an honest conversation.

Y lo que les estás enseñando en ese momento es cómo comunicarse de una manera sana y vulnerable, de modo que se sientan seguros y confiados. Sí. Ser honesto y decir: "Mira, esta conversación es difícil para mí, pero quiero tenerla porque creo que es importante". Aunque en ese momento te miren como si estuvieras loco y digan: "Mmm".

It's not about reactions. It's about results. Mhmm. All of parenting is. It's not about reactions.

It's about results. The result that you're gonna get from that is more openness to you. I love that. A big deal. I love that.

And on that note, I do wanna we do have to wrap it up. But, Christina, if anybody is interested in your, relationship coaching services, how do they find you? Yes. You can find me on my website, ChristinaMorellicoaching.com. I'm also on Instagram and Facebook at Christina Morelli coaching.

No dudes en enviarme un mensaje directo o un correo electrónico. Me encantaría saber de ti. Si tienes alguna historia de éxito o alguna pregunta, me encantaría tener la oportunidad de conectar. Bien. Bueno, gracias a Christina por venir y tener esta conversación difícil, pero profunda.

I love these conversations. Me too. And you all can reach out to Christina, if you're looking for her coaching services. Thank you, Fatima. I appreciate the work that you do and being able to provide these conversations and opportunity to listen in to other teens and helping the parents out, it it is not an easy road.

So I appreciate the work that you're doing. Oh, no problem. Thank you. Of course. And now for a mind shifting moment.

For you parents that are listening today, I truly hope that you got something out of today's episode, even if it's just one small thing. I know that facing realities that we don't like can be difficult. Hearing things that we don't like can be uncomfortable, but it's necessary for you to move ahead. You can't change the past. You can't go back and change how you've done things before now, but you can do something about moving forward.

Espero que hoy hayas escuchado algunas cosas que te ayuden a avanzar, de una forma u otra. Y si eres un adolescente que me escucha, comprende que esto no es fácil para tus padres. Incluso si piensas que son mayores y están desconectados, y que deberían dejarte en paz, si lo intentan, hazles un favor. Por favor, hazlo. Hazles un favor.

Thank you for listening to mind shift power podcast. Please like and subscribe to my YouTube channel at the mind shifter. If you have any comments, topic suggestions, or would like to be a guest on the show, please visit FatimaBay.com/podcast. Remember, there's power in shifting your thinking. Tune in for next week.