歡迎收聽「思維轉換力量」播客，這是一檔面向青少年及其相關成年人的節目，我們將在這裡進行真誠坦率的對話。我是主持人法蒂瑪貝，思維轉換專家。歡迎大家收聽。今天我們邀請到的是波西亞·富蘭克林。她來自加州聖地牙哥，也是播客主持人。

The name of her podcast is Sparkle with Portia Franklin, but we're not really here to talk about that. We'll talk about that a little bit in the end. We're really here to talk about part of her life story. She became a mom as a teenager. And without further ado, I will just let you hop right into it.

Portia, go ahead and tell me your story. Fatima, thank you for having me. I am so honored and blessed to be here, to be able to share and excited to, see what God does through this. But, absolutely, the conversation is be being a teen mom. And I really do believe that's when I started to really live my life.

But I was born to a mama who was single, and I did not know my father. And that came with a lot of unknowns, uncertainties. And when I got older, I look back, and it arose a lot of questions in me. So we'll probably get into that. But, there was a lot of time that I was free, just doing my own thing growing up.

So because my mom had, like, three jobs, never there. I always said I was like a free range chicken just running around, you know, hanging out with potentially not the greatest people and found myself, dabbling in things that got me into the situation of, you know, also not knowing my father, looking for love in all the wrong places. So that was what led me to becoming a mom at the the ripe age of 14, I became pregnant. So, yeah. So a lot a lot in that beginning.

長話短說，我媽媽單身，我有很多空閒時間。她會盡全力用她所知道的。是的。好的。我們私下聊天的時候，你告訴我，身為一個少女媽媽，你參加了一個特別的節目。

能跟我們講講那個專案嗎？當然。我當時14歲，國中剛畢業，懷孕了，然後就要上高中了。我當時還是個即將升上高中的新生，懷孕了。我住在聖地牙哥，埃爾卡洪高中有一個項目，叫做「青少年懷孕計畫」。

Well, it was at the time. I'm not sure what it's called today. But that is where pregnant teens continued their, education and in a safe space, if you will. So, you know, going around, it's you you don't wanna be walking around as a teen mom necessarily, among other students where you could potentially expose yourself to bullies or, you know, all the things. So they made this class where it was all pregnant teens.

所以我周圍都是十幾歲的女孩。雖然我們不是同一年級，但我當時是那裡的新生。說實話，這個計畫太精彩了，我還記得巴特爾小姐。巴特爾小姐是我在那裡的老師，她真是我的天賜之物。她對我傾注了全部心血。

She supported me. Even, like, I couldn't get picked up one day, I remember, in this program, and she drove me to my mom's work at the mall because my mom was working and couldn't come get me, and I didn't have a car then. So, yeah, the program was amazing. It was actually the first time I got straight a's. Praise god.

Wow. So it sounds like that program was pretty important to you. Yeah. It did set a good foundation. Mhmm.

And what would you say okay. So you started off in ninth grade, and did you graduate high school? I graduated. Yeah. That was How was it?

那時候是什麼樣的？高中畢業，還要養孩子？真是太不容易了。我最偉大的成就，如果你仔細想想，你的家庭裡，你會發現家庭模式。我媽媽和姊姊都考了普通教育發展證書（GED），所以這算是很正常的事了。

It was okay. But I understood that when I got into, like, when I got a few years older into, like, my junior year, almost my senior year, I understood that, wow. Like, I actually need to take this seriously because I could be the first one in my my family to actually get a diploma and walk with my class. And so the the journey there, though, was very tricky because I became a mom. I was now a sophomore.

I changed schools. The living situation was not the best because my mom did not have a space for us, and so that played a part. There was a lot of, like, abuse in the home where I was staying. And so there are so many factors that could have affected me to keep me bound up and staying in a GED course. However, my my choices that led me to graduating high school was I've I've just I just know it was, like, strength from the Lord and just a vision.

所以，有了這個願景，我就知道人生還有更多精彩之處。我知道我想要更多。但為了實現它，我必須踏出一步。所以，在想要成為青少年、想要成為母親、想要賺錢養家、想要陪伴在她身邊、成為一位在場的媽媽之間，我非常矛盾。所以，我被所有這些事情所困擾。

I would cry when I was going to school every morning because I didn't wanna leave my baby. Mhmm. But I knew I needed to go to school, And I knew she was safe, and that was fine. But I didn't wanna leave her. So I I believe it was, like, at the end of my sophomore year, beginning of my junior year, I decided to take the homeschool, partial homeschool option that my school offered to be home with her and go get a part time job.

And with that decision, I I quickly found out that I could not do everything, and I fell far behind in in my classes and classes and in, like, my points or you know, every class has so many points, and you need these so many points to graduate, and I fell extremely behind. And so my senior year, I went into it. I went into my senior year with eight classes. And, you know, your senior year is supposed to be, like, popping. Like, you're supposed to be, like, driving to the beach at 12:00, leaving school with your girlfriends because it's your senior year.

你只有幾堂課，對吧？我當時午休時就跟大家道別，看著大家都走了，然後我就得在高三那年待在那裡。然後我放學後還要上課，然後週六還要上課。所以，真的因為我做了那個決定，現在在青春期各種起起伏伏之間，比如想參加派對、和朋友們在一起之類的，我真的，在高三那年努力學習，然後我說沒辦法。

我的學校實際上給了我退學的選擇。他們說，沒關係。你可以和九月的同學一起走。你懂嗎？你不必在你們班同學畢業那天畢業。

我說，絕對不行。不行。我現在這麼努力學習，不是為了三個月後畢業。我會準時畢業。所以我盡我所能，確保自己能滿足學術系統的要求，拿到我需要的分數。

事實上，畢業那天，我在歷史課上參加了一場考試，那是我完成學業所需的期末考。說實話，我甚至不知道自己是否通過了那場考試。我考完試後，老師只是看著我，說，滾出去！去畢業吧。

Wow. So that's that story. Mhmm. Go ahead. Oh, no.

這就是我的高中歷程。我從這個故事中聽到的，或者說我能從中得出的結論是，你不會僅僅滿足於「我有個當媽媽的藉口，所以現在能做的少了，能付出的努力也少了」。相反，你會因為決心而全力以赴，最終仍然能夠實現你的目標。是的。

It was a lot harder because you were now a mother, but you were still able to accomplish because you made the decision. And I think that's the key word that you just said, decision. You know? You okay. You shouldn't have gotten pregnant, but you did.

So what? It it is what it is. So now what do you do? Mhmm. You know?

And and the fact that you took it and just said, you know what? I'm I'm graduating on time. I'm gonna be the first one to graduate high school on a in a normal time frame. I'm just doing this, and you made it. And I think that's that's beautiful.

你會說，身為少女媽媽影響了你的生活嗎？哦，影響很大。是的。跟我們說說吧？我會說，它拯救了我的生命。

And I tell my daughter this every chance I get. I was on a road of destruction. I was I was in you know, when you have a hardworking mom that is just doing her best to, you know, give you a roof over your head, which, you know, it's you have so much freedom. And then, also, when you're not taught certain things of morality of, you know, certain ways to live life and what you do and don't do. And and, you know, if your parents don't know that, they don't know to teach it, and they do their best with what they got.

And so I was handed a deck of cards that that served me a a lot of adversity. I saw things that I probably shouldn't have saw, and I did things that I definitely shouldn't have done. And so becoming a mom stopped me dead in my tracks. Just, like, stopped me. And and I I do believe it was a gift, and my mom was really supportive when we found out.

所以，這又是一種幸福，因為除了生下這個孩子，我們別無選擇，我們都很興奮。當時的情況並不理想。我們的關係也不理想，但這沒關係。當時沒有其他選擇，它阻止了我前進的步伐。它救了我的命。

所以，是的，它徹底改變了，我當時的軌跡也確實改變了。好的，我明白了。聽起來，如果不是有什麼事情狠狠地砸在你腦袋裡，你的下場會更糟。說實話，我甚至不想知道，如果我沒有那個孩子，我會在哪裡。

No. I wanna I wanna kinda sidebar a little bit, and talk to a particular portion of the audience. Yeah. Right now, it's a reality that there are teenage girls out there who think that getting pregnant is cute and trendy and something they wanna do with their friends. And I wish I could say that that's just an idea.

Nobody's really thinking that, but I talk to teenagers all the time. They talk to me, and that's a real thing. What would you say, to the girls who are in that mindset right now? Yeah. I would I would just grab her face.

I would I would just wanna grab her face and let her know it is not trendy. Like, baby girl, it's not trendy. And let's let's talk about why you think it's cute or why you think you need to have a baby. Is there a value missing? Is there a worthiness missing?

Do you not know how beautiful and amazing you are that you don't need a baby to make you something? You already are enough right now. You you the attention doesn't need to be in that way. Like, we don't need to get attention that way. We need you to arise and shine for where you are, who you are now, and and think about how can I do this the right way?

即使你真的想要孩子，那也是自然的願望，想要成為母親其實是一種天賦，也是一種祝福。但我們需要保持理性。我們需要保持秩序。如果我們失去平衡，不知道該如何承受這份重擔，就會造成巨大的破壞，你知道，它真的會造成破壞。所以我現在想告訴她，你已經夠好了，你值得擁有。

You don't need to have a baby to be enough to show up today. Yes. Yes. Yes. Because I brought that up because I know it's a real issue, and I'm glad that you spoke directly to the the portion of that audience that I was thinking about, which is a lot there are girls out there.

她們不一定會大聲說出來，但「是的」。她們想要孩子是因為她們需要有人無條件地愛她們，因為她們從未體驗過這種感覺，所以她們認為孩子就能滿足她們的需求。確實有一部分女孩是這麼想的，我同意波西亞的觀點。請不要這麼做，因為你只會讓生活變得更艱難。如果你因為這個而這麼做，你只會讓本來就很艱難的生活更加艱難。

Yeah. You know, if you if if you have sex and you get pregnant and you it is hey. Stuff happens. But don't go out there and intentionally do it and make your life harder. You know?

You know, Portia has a great story where she's had the victory over it, but she was also but she also had support. She was also determined. She didn't just lie down and take it. I mean, those are key elements in the success of her story. And I'm saying that in particular to you girls that are listening right now, that are of that mindset.

Don't run out and and change the rest of your life because it's cute right now. You know? Because it's you think you want that right now. It's it's it's a very bad thing to do, and you can also affect the life of the child that you're raising. A %.

是的。我想問你，波西亞。身為少女媽媽的經歷對你的生活有什麼影響嗎？這和你現在的生活有關係嗎？它對你現在的生活有什麼影響嗎？我很喜歡這個問題，當然，它確實有影響。

Of course, there's no way it couldn't. You know? And I think the greatest thing how being a teen mom affects my life today is that because I put myself into a place, let's be real, I I made a choice and I put myself into a place. I I put myself into a place with a person that, was who who he was and and did what he did, I had to overcome a lot of stuff. So let's talk, like, if I'm being for real, like, abuse, mental, like, physical abuse, mental abuse, narcissistic.

例如，我得處理這個錢包，你知道嗎？我到底是怎麼回事？我得像個15歲的孩子一樣去應付。而且，我還不認識我爸。所以我，又一次，在尋找愛情。

我渴望被愛，也相信這個現在正在和我一起生孩子的人會愛我，但他不愛我。他虐待我，欺騙我。實際上，我懷孕的時候我們甚至還沒在一起。懷孕一兩個月後，我們就分手了。

So, I was completely alone. Right? And so that's another reason why you don't wanna just go get pregnant because these boys are not ready for this. Like, they're not. And but all of that that I went through and what I've gone through, like, even today, I'm 37 years old.

I am learning things today that I should have learned when I was 16. Mhmm. I'm learning things today that I should have learned when I was 13. Like, there's things that I'm learning today because I had to focus my attention on her and surviving and protecting her and doing my very best to, like, just shield her from whatever, that I I lost out on a lot of personal development that I am now making up. You know what I'm saying?

So Oh, yeah. So, man, did it change my life. And so my greatest mission today is this conversation. My greatest mission is to empower that woman to show up powerfully in sparkle, to overcome if she is overcoming, but, also, let me tell you what not to do. Like so I just No.

For me. Yeah. Yeah. So that is my greatest mission, and that's what it's changed. That's what it like, my life today, that's how it affected me.

And now I get to raise daughters. And, you know, to be honest with the situation with my first daughter, she saved my life. I love her to the moon and back. But guess what? She made some choices because of the cards that she was dealt, and we actually don't have a solid relationship today.

But I do have a 16 year old, and I get to teach her what I didn't get to teach my oldest because of all the stuff that she had to deal with. She made a decision to go live with her dad. And so that, like, there's there's there's so much to, like, how much I have overcame, but I couldn't do it alone, obviously. By the grace of god, I have peace that surpasses understanding that carries me and teaches me, and now I get to pass on wisdom of, like, that all that unworthiness that I dealt with, all that insecurity that I dealt with. I get to give that to my kids.

So now I have three more kids that I'm teaching. So, yeah, it changed my life significantly, and it it it actually helped me become a stronger human. Mentally, physically, and emotionally, I'm stronger today, from from everything, from becoming that mama at 14 to now being a, you know, four times mama at 37, still learning, still growing, still overcoming. Right. But it's been a it's been a hard, beautiful journey, if I could put it in just a couple words.

是的。我完全理解。雖然我們討論的是少女媽媽，但你剛才說的也適用於我現在能想到的上百種生活瑣事。嗯。我甚至可以把你剛才說的話運用到我生活的各個層面。

You know? I've been through a lot too. And, little by little, I'll let the public know some things as is relevant. But, I I just I love that you've turned you've taken your your hardship, your tragedy, whatever term you wanna give it, I'll say hardship, and turned it into triumph by by using it as a driver to help other women. Yeah.

You know, that's what I hear when you say it is that you what you went through now drives you to help other women. Just like what I've gone through with my own most self value, drives me to do this podcast and many other things that I do that I don't even put on the air, you know, and helping with with young women in particular. And and I think it's so important to uplift other women, and young girls and make sure that they know that they actually have value. And not just because someone says so because it sounds nice, but because you know, get them to actually believe it for themselves. You know?

And I love that you're doing that for women right now. So I I still see it as the teenage girl in you is still there. And Oh, yeah. She is she is moving to help the other teenage girls who are grown adults now Yeah. In their bodies.

Yeah. But still teenage girls. Hell, yeah. Because we don't always grow up like we should. You know?

你的故事和很多人的故事一樣。這不僅是波西亞的故事。你知道嗎？很多人都有類似的故事，我們在應該成長的領域沒有成長。我自己也知道，夥計，過去一年我經歷了一些艱難的事情，讓我意識到有些東西我十幾歲的時候就應該學會。

And I didn't. You know? And I I didn't really the light bulb didn't come on until I got smacked upside to, hey, what it is. You know? So Come on.

I I think it's applicable to so many parts of life and not just with teenage girls. But if you're listening right now, I really want you to hear Portia's story and hear yourself and her story. If you are pregnant or maybe you're thinking about getting pregnant because you think it's the answer to to your problems, please consider. But if it does happen, there is hope as long as you have the elements that you've heard Portia have. Because there's plenty of stories out there with people who didn't have support, didn't have a good program like she was in, which was another form of support.

她在家裡得到了支持，在學校也得到了支持。我知道並非所有人都有這樣的支持，這讓情況更加艱難。但如果你是這些女士中的一員，如果你懷孕了，感到絕望，請你三思，你還有希望。有人在關心你。有一些你可能不知道的項目，它們遍布全國。

You know, just just know that there's hope. Now for Portia, I always have to do my little preaching at the end. I'm very passionate about, you know, helping young women especially. So you have there is one stethoscope okay. Go ahead.

There is one thing that as you were talking, I I heard, because having a having a child at whatever age, it doesn't matter what age, like but there's something important that you need to know that even even right now, I have somebody in my life that's going through it currently, and I've been through it. So even though we have children and if we have the children out of the wrong motive and say say it was like you said, Fatima, I won't have child to feel that unconditional love. Let me tell you that it's not promised. Unconditional love from another person is never promised because they have decisions and they have free will no matter what. And so at an early age, I had to learn very quickly.

是的，我當時懷著我最後一個孩子。我剛剛生完小孩。我們當時正在處理一些關於孩子監護權的問題，我女兒做了一個決定。就在那一刻，我被拋在一邊了。我不是跌倒在地，自憐自艾，陷入無價值感、自我厭惡等等。

I'm not good enough. Why? Or I could fall into what god said. Hey. You either gonna do that or you're gonna fall into the identity that I gave you.

你是波西亞·富蘭克林。你是你的標籤，你知道，不是她的母親。你不只是個媽媽。沒錯，你是個媽媽，但你是個女人。你是波西亞。

So are you going to fall to that identity, or are you gonna arise to the identity that I actually given you? So at that moment, I had to learn to detach and go, you know what? Okay. I'm not falling. I refuse.

Okay. Because that's just a fighter in me. But I said, you know what? I'm going to dig into this. I'm gonna learn who I am and my identity as Portia Franklin, as, not only a mom, but a woman, a a mighty woman.

對吧？所以我必須抽離出來，因為我必須明白人會做決定，如果我們任由他們做決定，他們總是會讓我們失望。但我無法控制她做任何她想做的事，即使這很痛。所以說到底，我想談談我們正在談論的事情。我們的孩子並沒有承諾給予我們無條件的愛。

So, yeah. So just with that, we love our children. We let them make their decisions and let them know, like, hey. It's the open door is here, but we do set boundaries and you're welcome to come back when you're ready. But your decision has put us in jeopardy.

So, like, I have to make the decision to love you from here. Right? So, like, in even with people, that's in any relationship, really. So we have to separate ourselves from our husband, from our from our children, from our friends. Like, we have to learn who our identity is to be really emotionally intelligent and strong humans in this world to rise and be impactful for our family.

Excellent. Excellent. Excellent point. Thank you for bringing that up. Yeah.

Mhmm. There's no guarantee that when we have our child for unconditional love and there's adults listening out there who right now probably have a tear in their eye because they know we're talking about them too. When you have a child with the intention of receiving unconditional love, doesn't mean that you're gonna receive it. And then when you don't, it actually hurts worse than it did in the first place. Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. Something to think about. Yeah. Excellent point. Thank you.

And so, can you very briefly tell us, very briefly tell us about your podcast and how people can find you? Absolutely. So my podcast is Sparkle with Portia Franklin, where we are disrupting toxic patterns, and we are going in and shifting the line mindsets to the truth and empowering you to show up and sparkle. And I am on Instagram, at Portia dot Franklin, and that's where you can find me. And I wanna add, I absolutely love Portia, and I'm giving all of my audience the assignment to, to, listen to her podcast, to, you know, subscribe to her podcast.

She has a lot of good things to say. I I know for a fact that her podcast hasn't even covered, a small portion of what she's got to say. So, I you know, please listen to her. She's, you know, she's she's coming from the heart, and she's very genuine like me. So I I appreciate that, I appreciate that about you, Portia.

And I hope that your podcast does what it set out to do and help the women that you intend to help. Well, thank you, Portia, for for coming on today. I really appreciate you being a guest on the show today, and my hopes are that this message is penetrating some hearts and minds. I'm so honored. I thank you so much, Fatima.

Bless you, and I'm so excited. And now for a mind shifting moment. Life will bring you challenges, whether we bring them on ourselves or they're tossed at us. Regardless of how they came about, what you do with that challenge is completely up to you. Portia could have just wallowed in self pity in her situation, but she didn't.

She was determined to succeed regardless of what was going on. And I want you to pull that out of her story because regardless of what you're going through right now, you can succeed too. Your success might look different than mine. It might look different than hers and that's okay. But you can be determined to be as successful as you can through your situation to do the best you can with it.

The other key part of her story is support. It is extremely, extremely important that you get the support that you need. And if you don't already have that around you, find it. Go out and seek it out. It's not going to fall in your lap, But I can promise you, there are those we are out there.

我們當中有些人關心你們，並且完全願意以各種方式幫助你們。我們關心你們，我們也想提供幫助，但我們需要知道，你們首先需要我們，並且你們願意讓我們在你們身邊。去尋求你們需要的幫助，去獲得你們所需要的支持，因為無論你們是誰，你們都需要支持。對於所有正在聆聽的你們，無論你們現在正在經歷什麼，我只想給你們一個大大的擁抱，讓你們知道，這裡真的有人在關心你們。

Thank you for listening to Mindshift Power Podcast. Please like and subscribe to my YouTube channel at the mind shifter. If you have any comments, topic suggestions, or would like to be a guest on the show, please visit fatimabay.com/podcast. Remember, there's power in shifting your thinking. Tune in for next week.