Welcome to Mindshift Power podcast, a show for teenagers and the adults who work with them, where we have raw and honest conversations. I'm your host, Fatima Bey, the mind shifter. And welcome. Today's episode is specifically for young men. And, I feel that encouragement is more powerful coming from a man.

So on today's episode, instead of you listening to another mother figure giving you some encouragement, I'm a let you get it from a man. So on today's episode, we have our guest here, Roger Pollard. And he is from Miami, Florida. He is currently a high school teacher, and he's the owner of Motive and Motivation and a very powerful motivational speaker. How are you today, Roger?

我太棒了。你怎麼樣？很好。很好。那我們直接開始吧。

我喜歡深入探討這個問題。所以，告訴我你聽過哪些年輕人最常說的話。在高中環境中，我教九年級學生的首要問題是，他們不喜歡 x、y 或 z。他們不喜歡數學課。他們不喜歡英語課。

他們不會，你知道，老師們都高高在上，或者說，凌駕於他們之上。我常告訴他們，我們必須更專注於事實，而不是感情。你知道，說到底，身為一個男人，身為一個在我們社會中的男性，我想這也許很糟糕，但我想說，我們的感受真的不重要。我們真正需要關注的是我們想要達到的目標是什麼？我們想要做什麼？

I don't know any football players, as I used to coach football, that loved the squat rack. They loved the results that squatting got them. They loved the results that that hard work got them. But we're either gonna be result oriented or we're gonna be feeling oriented, but we cannot wish to get the results from the feelings. So, hey, if you don't like math class, it's not about liking the class.

It's about liking whatever grade you're willing to sacrifice and put in the work to attain. So, that's that's my my number one, I guess, asset or my number one thing that I'm that I'm always hearing from my kids is is how much they don't like this or how much they don't like that. And how do they react when you tell them that? The the number one answer is I know. I think, I mean, I get that answer from from my kids.

You know? They're eight years old, and they say I know, and I've gotten to the point now where I don't care about what you know, it's about what you do. I say belief Yes. Isn't isn't a thought. A belief is an action.

信念是一種精神狀態。信念是你向世界展現自我的方式，而非言語。我知道在廣告、商業廣告、電視廣告，或者說，即使我們現在談論這個問題，我們也是透過言語來溝通，但我們更相信行動而不是言語。對吧？我可以舉個例子，你的另一半──男友、女朋友，或是其他朋友──可以告訴你他們愛你，但如果他們當著你的面親吻別人，你會相信他們說的話嗎？

Are you gonna believe what they do? So it's your actions that we have to guide that we have to go off of. And with that, knowing that, watch yourself. Watch how you're acting. Watch how you're speaking.

Watch how you're thinking over a two week period, and then start coming up with what you believe your belief system is. Because the first person we learn to lie to is ourselves, and we are masters at that, especially at that age. Oh, say that again. It is absolutely true. The first person we learn to lie to is ourselves.

一旦我們願意對自己坦誠相待，我們就會開始成長，真正變得更好，並且取得更好的結果。所以，我聽到你剛才說的，我得出的結論是，與其專注於你的感受，不如專注於你想要達到的目標。就像我和橄欖球或籃球一樣，它們就是這樣。是的。這就是你，你在打籃球，或是你在踢橄欖球，或者，然後你投籃不中。

好吧。你不喜歡那樣，但你不在乎。你會去跑，接球，然後嘗試再投籃。我覺得我們在體育界有點太注重最終成果了，而忽略了成功的過程。例如，我認為體育運動和課外活動的存在，是為了具體化我們為了成功必須採取的程序。

Okay. If I wanna be a great basketball player, do I show up to practice? Yes. Do I give a good effort? Yes.

我是否在知道自己有家庭作業、學校作業、專案和練習的情況下，詳細了解我的組織能力？是的。現在，如果你把這種思考方式和概念運用到數學上，那麼，嘿，我每天都會做作業嗎？我會計劃好每件事嗎？

Do I give a good effort when I'm practicing? Right? If we use the things that make us successful in these sports, then those things travel across, different domains, so to speak. And then I say if if you're if you know how to walk, then I know for a fact you know how to be successful. Because when you were learning how to walk, you didn't care what your what kind of shoes you had on.

You didn't care if you didn't like the place that you were learning how to walk. All you knew is that if you fell, you were gonna climb up and you were going to try and learn how to walk again. So use that same tool set that you used in learning how to walk and learning how to do something that you may not like to do. Whether it's math class, whether it's English class, whether it's Spanish class, especially in today's age, all I need to know is the topic. If I don't like how if I don't like the relationship that I have with my teacher, I can go home and I can get on the Internet, and I could say factoring polynomials and watch a YouTube video with a teacher that I do like.

在我看來，學校的目的不是學習。我認為學校的目的是學習如何學習。我們作為個體如何學習？讓‧皮亞傑說過，你知道，五十年前的一本生物學書和今天的一本生物學書完全不同。這意味著所有這些事實都發生了變化。

So if all the facts always change and we're always learning facts, then the point of the educational system isn't about the facts. It's about your ability to learn them. And if you can learn if you can learn things that you don't wanna learn when you start your own business, when you're working, when you're a father and you have how many stresses, you will learn how it is that you need to learn what you want to learn at that point. Because if you can learn things you don't wanna learn, you can definitely learn things that you want to learn. Yes.

阿門。我想稍微換一下。因為，再說一遍，這集是給年輕男性看的。顯然，我不再年輕了，也不知道在當今這個世界裡，身為一個年輕人，成長起來是什麼樣子。你懂的。

You work with young men and your man. What do you think are, just just give me one, maybe two at the most biggest challenges aside from what we just talked about, biggest challenges that young men have from ninth to twelfth grade today? I think the the biggest one would be organization. Like, the the their their organizational skills. I don't know.

I think, in our society, we've we've kind of, elongated the adolescence phase where, there are just certain things there are certain things, there are certain habits, there are certain ways in which we have to start behaving if we want a specific result, specifically if that result is on the higher tier. Right? If I I ask all of my high school students, you know, how many of you guys wanna be rich? How many of you guys wanna be a millionaire? And everybody raises their hand.

Well, there are certain attributes that are consistent with people of that caliber. Like, one, do you write all of your homework down in one place? Right? The the amount of information that the individual person is going through right now, especially for young males, right, with video games and all these other things, We have so many more distractions, and I'm not saying not to be distracted. I'm saying don't be distracted all the time.

我們總是被一種幹擾所困擾，如果出門沒帶手機，很多人就會轉身跑回來。但手機裡發生的事情真的會讓人分心，爆炸性成長。所以，我對他們的首要任務就是有條理。只要有手機，你就可以做。把你所有的測驗都存到手機裡。

Put all of your homework assignments in your phone. Put put everything that's important to you that has to do with school in one location and come up with a system. What is like, you have a when when you wake up, you pretty much probably most of us for the first ten minutes, barring that we're, you know, running on time, we probably all have a a system. Oh, I get up. I stretch.

我去刷牙。然後就睡覺了。對吧？我們起床是有規律的。你們學校的起床規律是什麼？

Right? With all of your with all of your subjects. Don't have everything all over the place and and because that's just it's not going to work. And then two is, managing distractions. And then and and I guess I'll say it like this, have have points of reflection.

The natural points of reflection for all high school students are report cards and progress reports. You can't look at the progress report, and if it's a grade that you do not like, blame it on someone else. What is it that I have to do to get my grade where it needs to be? Where I would like it to be? What kind of sacrifices am I willing to make?

And, hey, you are gonna come across something that does that you do not mesh with. That's life. No no one is great at everything. Right? We all know that.

So is it something that you could do, but your system isn't allowing you to do at your at your best ability? Or, is it something that's really and truly hard for you and that just goes back to, hey, look, you know, who cares about it? Figure out how to get it done. Whether you need to look at extra videos at home, whether you need to get a tutor, whether you need to do like, what is it that you're going to do to get yourself out of that situation? Because everybody is gonna have a challenge at some point in their life.

That is absolutely true. And we talked a lot about, academics. I wanna talk a little bit more on the social end of getting through high school. And, I and I'm gonna ask you this not because I am a young man, but because I see this from young men quite a bit. And I'm sure you do too, as a high school teacher.

你知道，很多年輕人感覺全世界都在跟他們作對。我說的不是我們曾經生活過的文化，而是現在，2023年2月。對於那些年輕時就感覺全世界都在跟他們作對的年輕人，你有什麼建議嗎？我的建議是，歡迎他們成年。

I I, I I follow a, like, a little National Geographic page on my on my Instagram, and there's zebras getting hunted by lions. There's lions getting eaten by alligators. There's eagles getting chased down by cheetahs. There's, like, that is the natural world. And it yes.

It does suck. So come up with a like, high school isn't only about the educational factor. It's also about the sociological factors. Right? How are you socializing and making friends?

因為高中時他們管這叫交朋友，但等你長大畢業了，我們就會管這叫社交。對吧？我們就是這樣的。我們人類本身就是群體的產物。對吧？

Like, did you come up with your language? Right? How do you get to school? You you take a you take a bus. Did you make the bus?

你們有做過路牌嗎？你們修過路嗎？我們更像是我們作為一個團隊所做之事的集合體。但即便如此，我們也總是在互相比較。這就是我們的工作方式。

所以，首先，是的，我聽到了你的聲音，我理解你。現在想想你是誰。例如，你喜歡什麼？為什麼喜歡它？

And where is what you like leading you? I mean, the the the the things that that you listen to, the things that they that you watch infects and influences you. Are they influencing you in the right way or in the wrong way? Right? Is there a right path and a wrong path?

Yes. Are the things that you watch and listen to influencing you? Yes. Well, what are they? How are they?

And how is that, shaping and molding your worldview upon you? Maybe everybody's not against you. Maybe maybe the actions that you're taking are more against you than everybody else. Right? Maybe That's a perspective.

Maybe, through, you know, not exercising the right way, not sleeping the right way, not not, not eating the right way has you feeling down, and that has nothing to do with any anybody other than you. You know? So, start looking at what am I doing on a daily basis that could hurt my future, and and how am I going to remedy that? How am I going to change that? Because I think we have too much of a hubristic or a prideful relationship with the person that we are.

Like, we're not totally in control of ourselves. And I'll ask any high school kid right now, how easy is it for you to pay attention in class when you're bored? It is. It's phenomenally difficult. So we don't we're not in total control of ourselves.

We are influenced by outside factors. And what what factors are you, being intentional about in delivering to yourself that you know will put you in a situation that you wanna be in in your future? Yes. I so what I'm hearing is that their feelings are valid, but it's a reality you gotta deal with. So what are you gonna do about it?

你究竟要怎麼做才能取得進步，而不是一直坐在低谷裡，或者說一直嗚咽？全世界都在跟我作對，所以我不會去嘗試。因為我常聽到這種說法。你知道，我偶爾也會從年輕媽媽那裡聽到這種說法。我不想讓她們感到沮喪。

But Well, it's I and I don't either. But, you know, at the same time, what's hidden behind that is a lot of people don't set goals because goals actually highlight how I'm falling short. Right? The the only way the only way that the human body feels any positive emotion is by seeing yourself move towards a goal. Well, if our kids don't have goals, then they don't have positive emotions.

所以當孩子們開始說我沒事的時候。你的目標是什麼？給我兩三個目標。給我一個長期目標、一個中期目標、一個短期目標。如果你每天早上刷牙，就把牙籤貼在浴室的鏡子上，這樣你就可以刷牙了，而且你還在看著。

You're constantly reminding yourself because the human brain the human brain is made to forget. You are listening to this podcast right now. Well, tell me what was the first thing that was said. You can't you can't bring it up because the human brain forgets more than it remembers. So what are you doing to remind yourself about things that are important to you on a daily basis?

And now once you do that, now you're gonna see yourself take more steps towards it, and then you're gonna you are actually changing how you feel. You can't talk yourself into changing how you feel, but you can change how you act. And when you change how you act, you change how you feel. So give me a list of your goals. Just put them up there.

每天都看到它們。現在，你，你，你，你的生理層面會改變。我說的不是觀點，而是可衡量的事實以及你體內多巴胺的釋放。瞧，你就成功了。

And that's what I was looking for. That was perfectly said, I I believe. Yeah. Everything you just said, I just I don't even need to add to it, everything you just said. I'm gonna switch it up a little bit.

Something that I didn't mention I did not mention in the beginning, because I try to keep my introduction super super short. You wrote a book, and that book is called The Book Everyone Should Read. Can you tell us a little bit about because I think it I really believe it ties into this conversation. Tell us a little bit about, you know, what the book is about very briefly, but I really want them to hear why you started it in the first place or why you wrote it in the first place. Yeah.

The, the book was is I you know, I've been I've been, high school football coach, head coach, defensive coordinator, and a and a teacher for over fifteen years. And and what I I I was looking around, and I was just saying, you know what? I don't I know that a % of people you know, if it's not a %, it's 98% of people are going to work with other people in their lives. I don't know how much we're doing in educating people around other people when we know that that's the greatest track. I don't know if you're gonna everybody has to take math, but I don't know if you're gonna be an accountant.

And I know that 98% of the people who take math aren't gonna be in an accountant. You know, I don't know we don't do so many different things that we're teaching our kids in high school that they may not go into that particular field, but I think a % of people are gonna work with other people. So I was I I I said, you know what? The the number one thing that I want my my kids to learn about is other people and and learn. What do we know as a human species about human beings?

我從心理學和社會學的角度來看這個問題，因為這就是我們作為個體的本質。我們不僅是個體，也是群體的一部分。所以我想寫這本書，不是為了賺錢，也不是為了賣書。這是為了我的孩子。

So my kids, by then, they're eight year old twins, boy, girl. They see daddy working, working. What are you working on? I'm working on your book. I'm working on your book.

And when it came out, it was you know, they were happy about it, And they tried to read it, couldn't. Right? It's above their level. But, it was something I wanted to leave for them just because I I see I constantly see the mistakes that that ninth graders kind of make. And I I kinda feel like there's a void in how we're approaching, that educational aspect in giving our little our future, literally it's I mean, kids are literally our the human species future.

一個更好、更好的方式來繼續生活，並理解他們可能正在經歷的一些感受，無論是從性格角度來看。你有多神經質？神經質是指你對負面情緒的敏感度。如果我不知道這一點，我該如何規劃我的職涯？如果我是一個非常敏感的人，我為什麼要從事高壓力的工作？

That doesn't make any sense. It's counterintuitive. So I think the first thing we have to do is teach our our kids, teach our future where where do human beings lie on these perspectives, And then where are they lying from a sociological perspective as well? Because, we found this out in World War one or two. I forget.

Babies that are given everything that they need other than touch will die. So we're not sea turtles. We can't just hatch and go off. We actually need to be part of a group. We have to be part of that organizational aspect.

So giving that information out so that now a kid can say, oh, you know what? Wow. I'm really orderly or I'm not that orderly. Right? A lot of my kids, a lot of my male kids, they're just not orderly.

Well, knowing that now, now you have to make it more of a point to plan those things into your life. Right? So if I don't know where if I don't know the areas in which I am lacking, then I can never be be intentional about growing them. So in order to hit a target, I must identify a target, and that's what that's for for my for my children and then for for anybody who might hear me talk and who can get to enter as a main subject. So what I'm hearing when I'm drawing from that and and if if I'm gonna put give it a very short summary, I would say, The book is about the importance of understanding and connecting to other people because we need to in life.

是的。它， ...

Right? A human being is is so unique and so precious, and and so we can take stabs at trying to personify, you know, individuals and people. So it's different ways in which we are I guess I'm trying to deliver a vocabulary that people can have that that that the kids can kinda start to discover who they are as individuals. And so I'm like, I can't know I can't know if I'm conscientious if I don't know what that word means. Alright.

So it's building a vocabulary of of, of of personality and and sociology within an individual. Yes. I, I try to do that with my show and and even just beyond here. When I speak and do workshops, I intentionally don't use, I don't use a lot of buzzwords. I don't use a lot of common academic words because people have different associations with those words.

And I instead will describe what I mean instead of using the word. It can be a little more long winded at times, but not that much more long winded, but I find that it's more effective in reaching people because I'm not really that interested in being impressive. I'm interested in being impactful. So being able to to to reach people, I think I think verbiage matters, but you also have to look at who you're talking to. If I'm talking to a room of professors, I will absolutely use all the biggest academic words that I know.

But if I'm talking to just about anybody else, I stay away from those words. Because it's you know, as you said, the words matter. But sometimes I think we forget what that means. It's not what it means on paper. It's what it means to the people you're talking to.

如果我們這樣想，我們說話的方式就會不一樣，這就是為什麼你總是聽到我改寫一些字。你會聽到我經常編造詞語，但我會把一個合適的詞變得非常不合適。 99% 的情況下，你不用解釋就能立刻明白我的意思。例如，當我告訴別人你得到了治療。當我說得到治療時，我真的不需要解釋。

那不是一個真正的詞，但我把它變成了一個我常用的詞，因為它解釋了一切。人們都能理解。你知道，當你這麼說的時候，人們就能理解，你知道嗎？嗯，詞語是思想的表達。如果我們討論的這些思想，如果我說了一個詞，你也說了一個詞，兩個人說的是同一個字，但意思不同，那就是「是」。

I think it's almost better to to speak about things in detail so that we we are actually because communication is I am I am pushing data and information towards you. You are receiving it. You are accumulating it in your brain, and then you're bringing it back to me, and that's what a conversation is. A conversation is in between the two people. Right.

It it it exists, you know, somewhere else. So a %, a %, I am I'm yes. Yes. Yes. Yes.

And, yeah, I know that you understand that as a teacher because I'm sure as a teacher, you don't always use the same exact words. Well, maybe you do it automatically, but, you can't just you have to use the words that are in a book, but you also have to use words that are gonna help them to understand the concepts. I know when I used to tutor math, I would not I would stay away. I would intentionally, while I'm tutoring them, I would stay away from the mathematical, verbiage. I would stay away from the the name of that equation, and I would focus on what that equation means and getting them to understand the concept.

Once they understand the concept, then I would attach to, like, the name. And they would get it, and they're like, oh my god. I actually understood that. And I'm like, you can. You just gotta break it down differently than how we're giving it to you.

無論如何，這真的很棒。感謝您的時間。和您交談真的非常愉快，我喜歡聽別人對我所討論的一些話題的看法。而且，我認為推廣這一點也很重要，我們並不總是只聽我的看法，人們也不總是只聽您說的話。重要的是，我們能夠……我認為，讓那些和我說話方式不一樣的人來這裡很重要。

We talk about the same thing. We believe a lot of the same thing, but we don't but you don't talk like me, which is beautiful because that means that you're reaching people that wouldn't that I wouldn't reach in certain aspects, if that makes sense. Yes. That's But I I I love that. And I I I always go back to African term, Ubuntu, and that means I am because you are.

我之所以能把自己認定為“我”，唯一的原因是因為有其他人與我不同。明白嗎？就像，就像，我會說，我們現在非常重視多樣性。如果每個人都長得跟你一模一樣，想法和說話都跟你一樣，那你就不存在了，也就沒有「我」了。對吧？

There would be no individual person. So my message to all my kids is you refer to yourself as I, and in the center of your eye is a pupil. And that pupil means that forever as long as you're going to identify yourself as an individual, you will always be a student, and the classroom will be life. And as long as you're a student, you are gonna make mistakes. You are gonna, you know, go down some wrong roads.

Yes. Yes. Important thing is you extract the lesson and blessing from the experience, and then you're winning. Period. Point winner.

是的。所以我完全同意你的說法。羅傑，再次感謝你，波拉德先生，感謝你今天抽出時間，願意參加今天的節目。我希望一些年輕人聽了節目後能有所收穫。如果你已經不是年輕人了，但你也從中有所收穫，那也很好。

另外，在我們結束之前，請告訴我在哪裡以及如何找到您。他們可以在 www.motiveandmotivation.com 找到我。我的 Instagram 帳號是 Roger Pollard，Instagram 上排名第一。這是我的兩件事。我的電子郵件地址是 putmotiveandmotivation@Gmail.com。

如果有人有任何問題，或者只是想得到一些建議，請提供信息，我們可以在那裡聊聊。我看到的那些影片也在你的網站上。對嗎？是的。你做客演講的影片。

Okay. Yes. Yeah. So, my podcast, like like this will get, shot on my on my, on my website and then, little information. I'm I'm planning on on starting to break down some of the concepts from, my books, because I started off with this first one about the book everyone should read, but that moved into a virtue book, courage, love, and discipline, which is now moving into a third book, which is origins and actions.

So, all of that information, all the all of the stuff that's in there, I know nobody likes to read nowadays. So I'm gonna once I finish this third book, I'm gonna I'm gonna start putting videos on the on the website. So Okay. The point is to get the information out there to help people, feel a better sense of self. Alright.

Well, thank you once again for coming on the show. Yes. Thank you for having me. And now for a mind shifting moment. Young man, young man, I want you to know that you're important, you matter, and how you feel matters too.

One of the biggest things I want you to hear today is that it is okay to talk about how you are feeling. And, no, you don't have to get all girly about it. But be honest. And if you feel more comfortable talking to a man about it, hey. Go ahead.

There's nothing wrong with that. But whatever you're dealing with and whatever you're going through, it's probably just like so many other people, but you need to talk about it because, honestly, talking about stuff is how you get over it. If you don't talk about it and you cover it up and you hold it in, you stay under it. Find a man around you who you can talk to. Find someone who understands what you have experienced, what it's like to to live through some of the things that you're dealing with.

They're out there, but they are not gonna come up to you and say, hey. I'm here. You have to go out and find them. You have to let them know that you want the guidance, that you want to have somebody to talk to. Please reach out.

Please, please, please reach out. Because as with anyone, when we don't deal with our issues and we don't talk about the things we need to talk to, male or female, doesn't matter, we explode. Men explode a little bit differently than women most of the time. Please make sure you are talking to somebody. If if you can't if you're not comfortable with a therapist, your friend's father, the neighborhood guy down the street, somebody at church, someone, you are worth it.

Reach out. Thank you for listening to mind shift power podcast. Please like and subscribe to my YouTube channel at the mind shifter. If you have any comments, topic suggestions, or would like to be a guest on the show, please visit FatimaBay.com/podcast. Remember, there's power in shifting your thinking.

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