歡迎收聽《思維轉換力量》播客，這是一個面向青少年及其相關成年人的節目，我們將在這裡進行坦誠而直接的對話。我是主持人法蒂瑪貝，思維轉換專家。歡迎再次回來！我們請來了艾麗卡·貝斯特。這是第二部分，或者說B部分，是艾麗卡故事的延續。

You if you haven't already, it's important that you go back and listen to part one, so that you can follow along with this part, part b. Now also there's some facts and figures, about, sex trafficking, human trafficking, and prostitution that I mentioned in section one or part one of this episode. So make sure you go back and take a listen to that. Now let's dive right in. So, Erica, we talked about, how you got into prostitution and told a bit of your story.

Now let's continue that story. Tell us, tell the audience, what did you find out about your pimp slash boyfriend? I found out that he had a crack problem and that he was smoking crack in my house without my knowledge, and he was also hiding, the paraphernalia in my CD player in my kitchen. And one day, I went to change the CD and put on some music, and I found a bag of crack. We just told your age because you said CDs.

I'm sorry. You just said CDs. I was like, what is this? Those shirts and CDs. Now for all you youngins, CDs are these super little discs.

在mp3出來之前。是啊。很久以前我就忘了這兩個了。嗯。所以你發現他喝醉了。

Yeah. And and he was using you to fund that. Yes. And, also, moving into my apartment slowly, but he did eventually move into my apartment, and I was providing him a place to live rent free. And that his family did not deal with him at all because of who he was and what he was doing.

So he was able to disguise the the crack habit as well? Yes. For a while until I found it. Mhmm. Wow.

So tell us so he was using you for that. He was using you for to fund his crack habit, but he was also living off of you. Yes. Eating all the the groceries that I would buy, laying up in the house all day while I'm, like, going to school. I'm, mind you, I'm still going to college and doing this at nighttime.

Wow. Yeah. I wonder how many other young women are out there right now who are where you were. I'm sure. I wish I actually knew, but I I'm sure there is.

Now let me ask you. Obviously, you're not doing it now. Right. How did you get out? Well, I kept telling him that I really didn't wanna do it, so I brought him a couple other girls who I eventually ended up being jealous of.

但是，在我們交往的過程中，他一直把我當成我的男朋友，我以為是他讓我懷了孩子，他卻信誓旦旦地說他不可能是孩子的父親，因為我們進行了一年多的無保護性行為，而我從未懷孕。他說，好吧，你知道，你在外面和別人發生性關係，那麼孩子可能是任何人的。我說，但我和任何客戶都沒有進行無保護的性行為，而我和你進行了無保護的性行為，現在我懷孕了。我覺得那次懷孕是因禍得福，因為我一懷孕，他對我的態度就變了，感覺我對他不再好了，因為如果我選擇留下孩子，我就不能繼續挺著大肚子賣淫了，或者繼續過那種生活方式了。所以當我告訴他我懷孕了時，他就對我大發雷霆，說，如果你要留下這個孩子，我就不再在這裡了。

And I was like, well, I didn't think he was gonna leave, but he literally walked out of the door one day. I think I was about three months. He walked out the door on me and was like, well, if you choose to keep the the baby, then I I can't have anything to do with you. And he literally walked out, and that was, like, one of the best things that ever happened to me. But that is how I got out of it.

What happened after that? After that, I found out that the baby, was tested for, Down syndrome, and I was about to be 20. And I told my mom about the situation, and she told my grandmother's sister. And they came out there, and they were like, you have to get an abortion. And it was a little late, so it was a two day procedure, but she was like, you cannot keep this baby.

And I was like, but what if this? What if that? And she was like, no. You're going to ruin your life and blah blah blah blah. So my my family came out.

They supported me. They helped me to find a place that was able to do a two day abortion. And I did, have an abortion at that time. And then I wanna say maybe five or six months later, I heard from him. He came to my apartment, and he said, oh, I thought you were gonna be a lot bigger more bigger than you are now.

And I lied to him, and I told him, yeah. I had the baby early. And he was like just to see what he said. And he was like, oh, he's like, well, now he's like, well, where's the baby? I was like, my mom has the baby.

And he was like, oh, okay. Well, I guess we could be married again, and we can get back to to work. And I said, I would never wanna be married to you again. Married in the sense that I, you know, was gonna be following him Mhmm. Through what he how he, you know, treated me and everything.

And I was like, I never wanna be married to you again or have anything else to do with you again. And he was, like, shocked that I said this, and I was like, actually, you can leave. And he knew I meant business, and he actually let up and left. But I had I had him thinking that I did have the baby just to mess with his head a little bit, but I did not keep the baby. That's a lot to go through.

Yeah. That's a lot to go through emotionally. Mhmm. Now the reason I have you sharing your story is really this next question. Okay.

年輕女人能一眼認出皮條客嗎？絕對不能。他們和你想像的完全不一樣，好萊塢把皮條客描繪得戲劇化，他們穿著華而不實的衣服，戴著耀眼的珠寶，在街上招搖賣淫，在街上走來走去，收錢。他們行事非常謹慎。就像，哦，我們去參加活動或俱樂部，看看周圍環境，看看誰可能對你感興趣。

第一個跟你說話的異性，自然而然地讓你知道他們對你有性方面的興趣。然後你也告訴他們，如果他們想和你共度時光，你就得付出代價。如果他們也願意，那就這樣吧。這就是你今晚的約會對象。但這其中也有技巧。如果你能讓你想要的那個人跟你一起離開，比如說，在某個特定區域，比如說，在一個擁擠的俱樂部，然後你說，嘿。

Come over here. Let's talk over here, and they actually move from where they are to where you're telling them to move. That's symbolic of you being able to manipulate them to do what you want them to do. So if they're like, oh, they don't wanna move away from the crowd, then it's like like a red flag. Like, they might not be able to be a trick.

Like, they might be interested in you, but they're not willing to pay for sex. But if you can physically move them over somewhere, that's a telltale sign that they're willing to pay for the sex. Very psychological. So isolation is is a tactic? Definitely.

您覺得還有什麼其他策略？我之所以這麼說，是因為我希望現在正在聽的年輕女性們能理解，我知道現在正在聽的有些人和您一樣。我希望她們能意識到自己在關注什麼，在面對什麼，在跟誰說話。是啊，你不知道。

For real. Yeah. So give us, you just said, okay, isolation is a tactic. Yeah. Mental manipulation is a general term for many of the details that you just said.

Right. What if we were to give them a list, what are the top, I don't know, three, things to look for? No. For young women to look for to to start to recognize that perhaps they're being sexually exploited and pimped. If if your, quote, unquote, boyfriend is asking you for money constantly, is, kind of pushing you towards doing sexual favors for other people, if they have a possible secret drug habit, if their families are involved in their lives.

If they're not involved in their lives, that's also a red flag. If they often love bomb you by telling you how wonderful and great you are, and it seems like it's so much of that in the early stages so that you can become, attached to what they're saying and you hold on to their every word. So if you're noticing those signs, that could be, like, a red flag. Like, oh, you might be dealing with a pimp. Definitely.

I would say the biggest of those, and you can correct me if I'm wrong, the biggest and tallest red flag with the biggest pole that stays up higher than the rest to me is when they are asking you to pleasure other people. Mhmm. When they're asking you to pleasure other people and there's money involved. Right. I'm not talking about people who are living the swing lifestyle.

That's a different conversation. Right. Although there's some crossover sometimes. Most of the time there isn't though it's a different community usually. But, that's the biggest that's the biggest thing.

所以，如果你是個年輕女性，聽著，他們就說服你，你這樣做就是在向他們表達愛意和忠誠，因為你只是按照他們的吩咐跟其他男人上床而已。是的。只要你們把錢平分，對吧。我們就是這樣決定的。他得到一半，只因為他保護了我，引用了這句話。

我還知道，這個產業百分之百存在著精神操控。我從未見過沒有精神操控的情況。沒有精神操控，百分之百的生意就無法成功。有時還會有身體或其他形式的恐嚇。而你的情況並非如此。

有些人確實如此，但我們現在談論的是你的故事，還有其他關於艾莉卡的故事。嗯，確實如此。所以我只想快速說一件事。他也會告訴女性，我們試著將這種生活方式帶入他擁有俱樂部，例如脫衣舞俱樂部。

And he told me that if women are willing to strip, most likely, they are also willing to provide sexual favors for money because they're already the crooked minds you know, mindset that they won't No. You're right, though. There's there's some strippers listening right now who just got pissed off at this statement, but it's true. It is I'm sorry. You all true.

No. But it is absolutely it is absolutely true because I have I've seen a lot. Being an anti human trafficking advocate, I've learned a lot of things. I've talked to a lot of peace, people and heard a lot of personal stories that I would never share. So I know a lot more than the average person when it comes to this stuff.

我當然不是無所不知。我仍在學習，但我知道更多，而且我知道那句話是真的。它有百分之百是真的。這並不意味著百分之百的脫衣舞孃是妓女。她們會成為妓女。

But Yeah. But it doesn't mean likely to yes. Yeah. Yes. Absolutely.

Because the mindset's already there. Yeah. Now let me ask you this as a therapist and a woman with this experience. Okay. What words do you have for the young women listening right now who are where you were?

儘早接受治療，了解自己，做真實的自己，不要在外尋求愛，即使你在家裡沒有得到愛。因為如果你在家裡沒有得到愛，你就會刻意地從外界尋求愛，而你不知道什麼是好的愛。你更容易被「掠食者」抓住，因為你在尋求那種你在家裡從未得到過的愛。而他們不知道自己被抓住了。但是，我該如何找到治療師呢？

因為他們對人生一無所知。他們對人生一無所知。所以，他們可以來找我。治療。不。

But that but that's a real that's a real thing. No. You know, they're Yeah. Erica is a very good therapist. Talk to someone who actually understands.

你還想對她們說什麼？和女性一起旅行。讓家裡的人知道你隨時在哪裡。分享你的位置，並且要小心你和別人分享的內容，因為很多時候，掠食者會傾聽你生活中的不足和你沒有實現的領域，他們會試圖描繪出你生活中缺失的空虛，而這種空虛可以填補你的空白，幫你解決所有問題。哦，艾莉卡，說得太好了。

Basically, they look for your voids. Mhmm. It's another way to put it. They look for your emotional voids. They look for your needs.

What do you need? Do you need somebody to tell you what you're worth is? How pretty you are? Yeah, exactly. How valuable you are.

Do you need someone to tell you whatever? Do you need money? Do you need, what do you need? So that's their, their, what they consider a weakness or their way in. Yep.

對於那些剛意識到身邊有人可能也遭遇這種事情的人，你有什麼想說的嗎？姪女、朋友、自己的女兒，或朋友的女兒。我可以告訴你，你想對他們說什麼？我為他們祈禱，因為最終決定權在他們手中，因為其他阿姨、母親和家人可能會看到自己的孩子也捲入這種生活方式，而他們卻無能為力，無話可說。真正身處其中的人，最終必須做出決定。

就像一個女人離開一段虐待關係一樣，她最終決定是否離開。有時候，離開可能很艱難，有時女人會說，你知道嗎？我受夠了。我再也受不了了，然後你就離開了。但歸根究底，這是他們的決定。對於你的家人，我能說的就是給予支持，讓他們知道你會和他們交談，並且不會對他們評頭論足。

But it's their decision at the end of the day. It is, unfortunately. And you brought out you you brought out a good, point in comparison. Women who stay in domestic violence, situations, it's the same mentality. It's not the same thing.

雖然細節不同，但原則是一樣的。所以思考方式、心態也是一樣的。是的。心理操控，心理操控可不是小事，而是大事。

這是件大事，這些皮條客五分鐘內都做不完。他們會把你折磨得筋疲力盡，尋找你的弱點，然後用善意、善意的話語來攻擊你的弱點。沒錯。

Like I said, the devil's not gonna come through. Yes. Love bombing. If you're missing that affection and then they're giving you all these hugs and kisses and love and you think that that, oh my god. This person really cares about me.

但一旦我懷孕，情況就變了。你對我不再有用了。我想回去。是的，你說得對。

我想進一步談談你的故事。舉個例子，我接下來要說的，與你剛才說的一致。他們關注的是你的不足之處，以及你父母、朋友和家人的傾聽。這就是為什麼讓你身邊的孩子感受到愛和關懷非常重要。我不是說你只是提供他們一個棲身之所。

I mean, they feel it. They know that they are valued because if they don't know they're valued, they're gonna believe the value that's assigned to them. Absolutely. By these asshole pimps. So it's not the whole story, but it's definitely an ingredient in the recipe to disaster.

身為成年人，甚至青少年，我們所有人都必須確保自己重視身邊的人，因為你不知道這種缺失會導致什麼後果。這次我們討論的是賣淫，但還有很多其他可以討論的細節，但最終都歸結於同一個基礎：了解自己是誰。我們不知道你是誰。你希望有人告訴你，因為你渴望擁有價值。艾麗卡，你說你之所以疏遠別人，是因為你年輕時經歷過的事。

There was this distancing at home, with your mother and that distancing created a void. Yeah. And he came along and saw it because it had a big old spotlight on it, for him. He could see it. Right.

And was like, oh, there's a big old hole I could fill. And so that's what they do. And that's what they do. So if you're around people, you're around young, young people, instead of waiting till they get into the situation, do the best you can to make them less likely to be a victim. Doesn't mean that you could do everything right.

And it might still happen, but it's less likely to happen if you let them know that they actually have value instead of telling them how stupid they are when they come up with an idea you don't like, how dumb they are. Girl, you ain't never gonna be nothing. Well, guess what? Those same people that are told that look for validation in all the wrong places. Exactly.

Exactly. And don't get me wrong. I was exposed to wonderful things in my childhood and even in my teenhood, but that key piece of not giving getting the same amount of, emotional connection from your parent, like, didn't it didn't make it, balanced because I was still susceptible to this lifestyle because I wasn't I was missing that love that love piece even though I'm sure she loved me in her own way. But because I felt that distance, I was still susceptible to that. I also wanna interject just for a moment.

Mhmm. Some of the stuff I'm saying, it it doesn't apply to every situation. So for those of you that have imbalanced thinking when you listen, I'm not I'm not saying that everybody's situation is is every detail that I'm talking about. I don't usually make blanket statements unless I mean to put a blanket on them. So Right.

除非我把每一個或百分之幾都說出來，否則就不是。所以我說的那些百分之幾的事情，就是我的意思。我非常……非常謹慎地使用我的措辭，但我這麼說是因為有人可能會聽完後想，嗯，這不適用於我的情況，而且，你知道，我現在感覺很糟糕。這不是我的目標。我的目標是幫助你認識到這一點。

I want to have these real conversations so y'all can recognize what you're looking at. Absolutely. And if a man is gonna ask you to do that, he don't love you. No. He's a bitch with balls.

他就是這樣的。對不起。他只是個有膽的婊子。皮條客就是這樣的。他根本不是男人。

That's a bitch with balls. So you can tell how I feel about it. Right? Right. And I am unapologetic about saying that.

That's what I said, a bitch with balls, because that's not a man. Absolutely. A real man is not gonna use you and abuse you like that. A little bitch will. A little boy.

不是男人。話雖這麼說，天哪。是啊。我知道。我不是我，也不會為說這些話道歉，因為我說的每一個字都是認真的。

Yep. Erica, I really, really, really, really appreciate you opening yourself up and making yourself vulnerable and, and coming on and talking about this. It takes a lot of bravery. And this is the first time you're really talking about it publicly. So I know what a big deal that is and I'm really grateful that you did.

And I'm really, truly hoping that even if just one young woman out there realizes what she's in and gets out, it was worth it. One person can help somebody around them. Yeah. It's worth it. So thank you.

You're welcome. And for those of you listening, if you are interested in Erica's therapy, sessions or services, you can, her information will be in the show notes. And I hope this all I hope that this makes a difference even if just a little bit. And now for a mind shifting moment. Something I wanted to mention, that Erica wanted me to add to the recording, she forgot to mention during, the recording of the episode, is that her pimp kept promising her a singing career.

這是他操縱手段的一部分。我們今天討論了很多。如果你沒有從中得到其他任何訊息，我希望你能認識到心理操縱。就她而言，我們討論的是賣淫。但同樣的心理操弄也適用於家庭暴力者，也適用於不同類型的關係。

不僅適用於賣淫。認清你正在面對的是什麼。運用這些原則，不僅僅是細節，而是我們討論的原則，看看它們如何應用在你身邊。請注意。如果你是一位年輕女性，正處於這樣的境地，你沒有這樣的家人，你不知道如何擺脫困境，並且你意識到這可能是你的情況，請訪問 FatimaBay.com 並查看其他幫助頁面。

No matter where you are in the country, there you can go to the bottom of that page and see what help there is around you. I also have some therapists that I recommend on that page because I wanna see all of you rise and become victorious and get over it instead of staying under it. Thank you for listening to mind shift power podcast. Please like, and subscribe to my YouTube channel at the mind shifter. If you have any comments, topic suggestions, or would like to be a guest on the show, please visit Fatima Bay dot com slash podcast.

記住，轉變思維會帶來力量。請關注下週節目。