歡迎收聽「思維轉換力量」播客，這是一檔面向青少年及其相關成年人的節目，我們將在這裡進行坦誠而直接的對話。我是主持人法蒂瑪貝，思維轉換專家。歡迎大家。今天我們邀請到的是來自科羅拉多州的特里·塔克。

He's the founder of Motivational Check LLC. He is an international motivational speaker and an author. And how are you doing today, Terry? Fatima, I'm doing very good. How are you?

I'm I'm great. I'm looking forward to hearing what you have to say, and I hope people, I hope people get infected by your energy. Now Thank you. You teach something you teach a whole lot of things, actually, and you have a lot of wisdom in you. But today, I wanted to focus on something that I I feel very strongly about, that you teach a lot on, which is something that you call the four truths.

So can you tell us what that is? Yeah. The four truths are something that I I think I've come up with throughout my life. But more importantly, I've really kinda solidified them over these last four or, eleven years now that I've had cancer. And the four truths are just one sentence, and I have them here on a post it note in my office.

So I see them multiple times during the day Oh, wow. And they constantly get reinforced in my mind. So here they are. They're one sentence each. Control your mind or your mind is going to control you.

阿門。請你原諒我？我說了阿門。請說吧。阿門。

當然。我們都需要這樣做。對吧？第二，擁抱生活中我們都會經歷的痛苦和困難。是的。

是的。利用這些痛苦和困難，讓自己變得更堅強、更堅定。第三點，我認為是傳承下來的真理。我知道，對年輕人來說，死亡可能根本不會是他們考慮的事情。我的意思是，你忙著過好自己的生活，做你最擅長的事。

但對我們所有人來說，思考人生的最終結局都很重要。第三點是，你留下的，是你編織在別人心中的東西。第四點，我想很容易理解。只要你不放棄，你就永遠不會被打敗。所以，以上就是我每天生活的四大原則。

正如我所說，我已經與癌症抗爭了十二年。是的。這絕對是你故事的一部分。你說你身上有這些，我之前沒想到你辦公室裡有一張紙，但我們詳細聊過你是如何將這些原則運用到生活中的。你覺得這很鼓舞人心嗎？

那麼，您能告訴觀眾您是如何將這些理念運用在您的生活中的嗎？為什麼您對它們如此感同身受？告訴他們您是如何做到的。我的確如此。我的意思是，我稱它們為我靈魂的基石。我相信，它們是建立高品質生活的良好基礎。

And we want everybody wants to have a good life. Everybody wants to be successful and happy and self actualized and find their purpose in life. But how do you do that? Especially when you're young. Because I remember when I was young, I had no idea where I was going, what I was going to do.

I went to college, and my dad told me to major in business. I had no idea. Like, what should I major in, dad? Major in business. I had no idea what to do with my life, and that's okay.

大多數人都不知道自己想做什麼。我的意思是，有些人會想，『我要做這個，我要接手家族生意，我要和父母一起工作，等等。 』但很多人不知道，這沒關係。別因為你還沒想好就覺得自己有什麼問題。生活就是這樣。

Life is about living. Living is about figuring things out. So these four truths are really just something like I said, they're the bedrock of my soul. I know they're not moving. I know there's something I can rely on, and they're part of me.

And as a result, they help me make better decisions. Now let's go one by one. So you said control your mind or your mind will control you. Forgive me if I forwarded it incorrectly, but that's the origin of it. So control your mind or or your mind will control you, which I believe extremely strongly in.

是什麼促使你在個人生活中想到這一點？是什麼個人經驗讓你說，這是我需要教導別人的原則？所以我很早就學會了這一點。我在高中的時候就學會了。你從外表或聲音上看不出來，但我身高六英尺八英寸。

儘管高中時做過三次膝蓋手術，我還是靠著籃球獎學金上了大學。但我記得，手術後我回去打籃球的時候，我的腦子裡、我的腦海裡全是各種負面想法。例如，嘿，手術後你的進步可能慢了一步，大學教練也不會有興趣招募你了。嗯。

And I remember thinking, wait a minute. I am still playing at an elite level, and coaches are still reaching out about the possibility of coming to their college or university to play basketball. I learned early when I was probably 15 years old that I needed to change the narrative that was in my mind. And the interesting thing about that is that what really guides our mind, what really guides our decision making, what guides our our sort of social behavior is what's called our prefrontal cortex, and it's the area right behind your forehead. And that starts to mature when we're in high school, but it doesn't fully mature until we're like 25 years old.

So I was kinda surprised that I figured that out at a young age that I needed to control my mind because your mind as a young person is still developing when you're in high school. And you make bad decisions just because your brain hasn't been hasn't developed to the point where you can make better decisions for yourself. So I guess I would say don't beat yourself up. If you are if you don't understand things or you're trying to figure things out, I would tell you to find a trusted adult, somebody that you believe has your best interest in mind, and have that person help you to try to make better decisions as that prefrontal cortex in your mind is developing and maturing. Yes.

Not only is it for for me, I'm I'm focused less on the development because I have seen 16 year olds that are far more developed in that area than 50 year olds. So to me, it's more of a it's less of a, well, you're biologically. This is where you are. It's more of a you can be where you wanna be if you're willing to be. When it comes to if you don't control your mind, your mind will control you.

I'm speaking to the audience right now because I I think sometimes people, they understand the concept of what you're talking about, but sometimes they just don't know how to get there. And I think the key thing is you might not be able to get there by yourself. Right. Just like, you know, Terry was just saying, you might not be able to get there by yourself. Like, okay.

How do I stop this self sabotaging thinking? And that's what I'm gonna choose to call it right now, self sabotaging thinking. And I used to do it myself, and it is not not not easy to get out of, but it is a choice A choice. A choice. As Terry just said, it's a choice to change those thoughts one by one.

如果你需要幫助，沒關係。不一定要找專業人士，因為有時候人們不想找專業人士。我理解。找一個比你年長、生活領域和你不同的人來幫你。我認為這很重要。

So go ahead. No. I was gonna say one of the jobs that I had in my life is I was a a hostage negotiator on a SWAT team. And one of the things that that we used to do is just think about the type of questions that you're that you ask yourself. If you're asking yourself why questions, why did I do that?

That sounds accusatory. That sounds like you're making an accusation against something that you have done in your life. Be be a little gentler with yourself. Ask yourself how and what questions because I can get to the same thing. Well, why did you do that?

That sounds accusatory. How did we get to this point? I can get the same information by asking the question differently. And when you ask how and what questions, you engage your brain to help you come up with better decisions for the things that you're facing. So when you when you don't know what to do, ask yourself how and what questions, and then just be quiet for a minute.

讓你的大腦開始和你對話。無論我們是否願意承認，我們都會自言自語。沒錯。但看看你的大腦怎麼說。如果你讓自己安靜足夠長的時間，給大腦一個機會去思考，並把它們帶到你的腦海中，你的大腦就會想出一些奇妙的東西。

I do. I like the way you just said that because, I know for myself personally in the past, I don't think I've said this on the air before, but self condemnation was was a huge, huge, huge, huge thing for me. And it was one of the way I would kick my own ass all the time. And you couldn't you I didn't need you to tell me what I did wrong because nobody would beat me up better than myself. And for real, nobody would beat me up better than myself.

And I know that I'm not the only one, and I know that there are a lot of people out there listening right now who do the same thing to themselves. And you're not even self aware that you do it unless somebody else points it out. One of the ways that helped me to get out of it, and it's a it's a battle. It's not it's instant. Presto change, yo.

我剛做了個決定。現在一切都好多了。不。你做的每一個小決定，隨著時間的推移，確實會讓一切變得更好。但是，你知道，別人會指出我的錯誤。

例如，你為什麼要說自己不好的話？哦，還有，承認吧。我需要意識到我還在這樣對待自己。我需要更加註意。我認為你剛才說的話非常重要，確保這適用於青少年，但你們有些人可能不知道，你們也還是青少年。

Make better decisions for yourself and and, you know, do that self assessment. And it's okay to get people who know you to answer some questions even if they're uncomfortable. So I I think that, you know, just listen to their opinion. They could be right. They could be wrong, but still listen to their perspective because they might see something that you don't.

None of us can be objective about ourselves. That's for damn sure. Absolutely. Let's talk let's talk about number number two. So what is number two again, and how did you, well, you said it, but what is number two, in terms of how you have discovered its application in your own life?

Yeah. Number two is embrace the pain and the difficulty that we all experience in life, and use that pain and difficulty to make you a stronger and more determined individual. Unfortunately, our brains are hardwired to avoid pain and discomfort and to seek pleasure. So to the brain, the status quo, the way things are right now, hey, It's comfortable. It's familiar and just leave it alone.

The problem with that is is the only way we're going to grow. The only way we're going to improve. The only way we're going to get better is if we step outside those comfort zones and do things that make us uncomfortable. And there's a very easy way to do this and I try to do this every single day of my life. Every day of your life do one thing that scares you, that makes you nervous, that makes you uncomfortable, that is potentially embarrassing.

It doesn't have to be a big thing. But if you do those small things every day when the big disasters in life hit us, and they hit all of us. We we lose somebody who's close to us. You know, if you're working, we get let go from our job. You know, you flunk a test.

All those kind of things, you'll be so much more resilient to handle those things when they present themselves. And I I wanna go back to something you you said a minute ago. You know, we're talking about finding people that will help you. If you remember nothing that I say for the rest of this podcast, remember this, The five people that you hang around with the most will determine where you go in your life. Oh my god.

With people that are smart, caring, and good people, more than likely, you'll be smart, caring, and a good person. Versus if you hang around with people that are lazy, that are negative, that think the world revolves around them, then there's a very good chance that you will end up being lazy, negative, and thinking the world revolves around you. The people you surround yourself with in your life absolutely, positively, 100% will determine where you go in your life. I have said that a million times. I'm so glad you brought that up because that is critical.

So when you say take I'm rewording it. Take your pain and accept it and deal with it. Yeah. What is what does that look like? Let's let's talk about what what's an example that is just, like, pretty typical for a high school student?

Get up in the morning and make your bed. It it is. I mean, it sounds like that that's so simple, but what that does is really it it starts your day out with a win, with a success in life because you've made your bed. So you've won. You've done something positive already.

And when you get in your bed at night, you've got a nice bed to you know, when you come home from school, you've got a nice bed to lay down in at night because it's already been made. So I know that sounds real simple, but like I said, you don't have to doesn't have to be complicated. We make life so much more complicated than it already is. So make your bed would be something, eat a good breakfast. You you know that.

I mean, are you grabbing a a soda and a, you know, and a cupcake on your on your way out the door to school? I mean, hey. I've done that. Believe me. When I was in, I I've done that.

I'm not saying I'm proud of it, but I've done that. Do you do that? Do you set time aside to study for your tests? Or do you be like, you know what? I'm really binge watching whatever you're watching on Netflix or or whatever.

I don't wanna study for that test, so I'm not gonna do it. It's uncomfortable to get off the TV and to go study for that test. And I'll I'll give you a statistic that I heard recently. Thirty three percent of Americans, so a third of the country, admits to hitting the snooze button on their alarm at least three times every morning. I've never been guilty of that.

我從來沒有犯過這種錯誤。是啊。這就是我想要的。想想看。三分之一的人會說，不。

你知道，蓋著被子很舒服。很暖和。我覺得有點熱。是的。是的。

Get out of the covers. Get out from under those covers and get out and do something like make your bed. It's simple stuff like that that'll help you to be more resilient. I wanna talk about a different aspect of of that same principle of number two, of taking your difficult things and turning them into good. Let's say we have, I'm gonna make up an example right now, but we have someone who somebody took a video of them doing something embarrassing, and they put it on it they put it on TikTok.

It went semi viral. Put it on IG, Instagram. It went semi viral. And now they're just totally embarrassed. Everybody's on there in the comments clowning them, making fun of them.

他們怎麼能接受這種事？就是這樣。這很艱難。如果你在當今這個時代讀高中，雖然不像我們成長的時代，但在這個時代，這對很多人來說可能是一種艱難。他們該如何接受這種事情，並將其轉化為好事呢？

How can they just deal with it? I I I think the easiest way to do that and and and there's no there if there was a easy solution, I would have written a book about it a long time ago. But I I think the first thing you have to do is own your mistake. Yeah. I shouldn't have done that.

And then learn from that mistake. If you own it, if you try if you don't try to get away from it and stuff like that, it gives the people that are watching it or that that are making fun of you or whatever, it doesn't give them anywhere to go. Because you've already said, yeah. I shouldn't have done that. I made a mistake.

所以你想怎麼嘲笑我就怎麼嘲笑我。我已經承認了。所以別想逃避，別找藉口。哦，是某某讓我這麼做的，或者諸如此類的。

Just own it. When you make a mistake in life, own it because it doesn't hopefully, you you own it and you learn from it. But if you own it, it doesn't give anybody why am I gonna criticize you? You you've already said, yeah. I I made a mistake.

我不應該那樣做。批評你對我有什麼好處？你已經批評過了。所以，如果有人嘲笑你，你就承認自己的錯誤，很快別人也會做蠢事，然後把事情發到TikTok或Instagram上。沒錯。別再批評那個人了。

所以，即使你認為它致命，即使它不是錯誤，我仍然同意你所說的原則。承認它。你越早面對它，並說「是的，我做了那件事」。

事情發生了。接下來呢？人們通常很快就能釋懷。當你畏縮不前，任由自己被他們強加於你的一堆垃圾壓垮時，它帶來的負面影響才是最大的。不僅如此，有時我們經歷的一些事情，也能讓我們變得更有韌性。

這意味著它實際上會讓我們變得更強大。不是說你現在會變得更強大，而是說它實際上會讓你變得更強大，這樣你就能應對生活中那些無論你願不願意都會遇到的重大事件。因為如果你在這樣的小事面前畏縮不前，又該如何面對更大的事情呢？不過，是的，我同意。

Now let's talk about principle number three. K. Yeah. Principle three, again, is is a legacy truth, and and a legacy is what you leave after you're gone. And I'm sure most high school kids aren't thinking about when they die and things like that.

But it's No. But I'm gonna interrupt you right there. I'm gonna interrupt you right there. You can leave a legacy in high school. So You're absolutely.

Absolutely. You absolutely can. I look at this more as a a sort of a legacy after you're gone, but you're absolutely right. You can leave a legacy wherever you are, wherever you are. You can leave it at home.

You can leave it at school. You can leave it in the workplace, wherever it is. And that should be something you strive for. And it doesn't have to be anything more than being comfortable in your own skin. I'll give you a there's a book called do hard things.

It was written by a man by the name of Steve Magnus, and Magnus was the head track and field coach at the University of Minnesota. And he tells a story in his book, and I don't remember if it was a professor or a researcher at the University of Minnesota who did a study with young students at the university. And what he did is he put him in a room with no devices. So you can't have your cell phone, you can't have your iPads, you can't have your earbuds, you can't have any. Only thing in the room is a table and a chair.

他讓你獨自待在這個房間裡二十分鐘。房間裡除了門鈴之外，只有這一個東西。如果你按了門鈴，就會被電擊。 68%的男生和25%的女生都接受了電擊，其中有一個男生每五秒就電擊一次，持續了二十分鐘。這是什麼意思呢？這意味著你對自己的處境感到不舒服。

你對自己並不滿意。你對別人在你的裝置上對你的評論很滿意。嗯。他建議你每天花五到十分鐘獨自靜坐。這樣你就能對自己感到滿足。

You don't have to pray. You don't have to meditate. You don't have to do anything. Let your mind go wherever your mind goes. Think about whatever you wanna think about, but be comfortable with yourself.

獨處時要感到自在。所以我會跟你簡單介紹一下我自己。正如我之前提到的，我罹患癌症已經十二年了。 2020年2月，我的左腿被截肢了，所以我現在沒有左腿了。正如你所聽到的，我現在做的是播客。

I do speaking engagements and things like that. So when people found out after I had my leg amputated, I went with my wife to the mortuary, to the cemetery, and to the church, and I planned my funeral. And because I do these podcasts and these speaking engagements, I got some brush back from people who commented that planning my funeral was in some way defeatist. And I had to remind these people that the last time I checked, we're all going to die. Yep.

Every one of us is going to die, but not every one of us is really going to live the life that we were supposed to. That's right. And I heard a native American black foot proverb years ago that I absolutely love, and I'll share it with you. It goes like this. When you were born, you cried and the world rejoiced.

Live your life in such a way so that when you die, the world cries and you rejoice. Oh, I love that. That's what I want. Oh, I love that. That's a good one.

Now what about principle number four? Principle number four, as long as you don't quit, you can never be defeated. And the way this principle works for me is is I mentioned, I've been dealing with cancer. I've had my leg amputated. I'm still being treated for cancer.

總有一天，我的痛苦會結束。你知道，它或許會透過手術結束，或許會透過某種新藥的問世結束。坦白說，它或許會在我死後結束。但如果我放棄，如果我屈服於痛苦，那麼痛苦將永遠是我生命的一部分。

Understand that your lives there's three important things in your life. Motivation, discipline, and good habits. If you have all three of those, you can do anything you want. If you're lacking one, think of it as a three legged stool. If one of those legs is gone, you're gonna be out of balance, and and it's gonna be very difficult to accomplish what you want.

So ask yourself every morning, am I motivated? Do I have the discipline to implement good habits to make sure that I can be successful in life? So you mean if I apply for, like, a bunch of colleges and I get three rejection letters right away that I should just quit, don't go to college, and work at McDonald's instead? No. That's exactly what I'm not saying.

沒錯。這就是我的觀點。事實並非如此。我的意思是，但對某些人來說，這就是現實。你明白嗎？

It absolutely is. Why would you why would you give up on your dreams? We are all we all have unique gifts and talents. And the thing that that I think about this for a minute. There has never been a human being in the history of the world that is like you, and there will never be a human being in the history of the world that will ever be like you.

這就是你的獨特之處。這就是你的重要性。這就是你的獨特之處。你擁有獨一無二的天賦和才能。去發現這些是什麼吧。

And how do you do that? You do things that interest you. I like doing that. There there's a a book that I have on the bookshelf behind me that was written by a man who's the editor of Entrepreneur Magazine. He gets out of college, he's got a journalism degree, goes to work for a newspaper, not happy with.

So he says, you know what? I wanna be an editor. So he goes to work for a company and learns a certain type of editing. And as soon as he learns that, he quits that company and goes to another company and learns another type of editing. And as soon as he learns that, he quits that company and goes to work for another company and learns a different type of editing.

在我結束我的陳述之前，讓我先說一句。世上沒有完美的工作。人生中也沒有完美的事。一點兒也沒有。每件事都有缺點。

Relationships have a downside. School has a downside. Your job has a downside. There's no perfect thing in life. But understand that you were put on this earth for a purpose.

Figure that purpose out by doing things that you find interesting. And if you make mistakes, that's fine. Make a ton of mistakes, especially now when you're young. But don't just make mistakes for the sake of making mistakes. Make mistakes to learn things so that you can apply them to the next thing that you do.

Yes. I'm a big, big I love all four of your principles. I don't know that I think one of four are probably the ones I feel the strongest about. You don't you're not a loser until you stop trying. That's when you lose.

Until you stop trying, you haven't lost. You haven't failed. And sometimes people think that you know? And I mentioned college applications because this is, you know, for high school students, and that's a real that's a real thing. And I I've talked to high school students where they get discouraged because they really wanna go to x y z university, and they got rejected from that.

But what they don't understand sometimes, that can be disappointing and that and they're right to feel that way. But just because, you know, that's that route didn't work doesn't mean you don't go to the same destination through a different college or a different university or whatever you're trying to do. You know, sometimes if I'm I'm in New York, if I wanna go to California, there's at least there's many different ways I can get there. I don't have to go straight I 90 because I 90 goes all the way out to the West Coast. So if I wanted to, I can just go straight out to California through through I 90, or I could take a few other routes.

這是個選擇。你懂的？也許90號州際公路因為施工被堵住了，我沒辦法過去。但這並不代表我不去加州。這意味著我要走另一條路。

And I think sometimes we tend to, we tended to forget that just because one way didn't work doesn't mean that you can't get to the same destination through a different road. And when it comes to college, when it comes to sports, when it comes to whatever your goals are, running a business, you know, being I wanna be a CEO because I go and I teach at high schools all the time and do workshops. And one thing I hear commonly is I wanna be the CEO of a company or I wanna run my own big Fortune 500 business or something along those lines. And that's beautiful. Hey.

Great. I encourage that. What do you wanna do? Well, I don't know yet. So they're still figuring it out, which is fine.

但要解決這個問題，其中一個方法就是找一份你感興趣的工作，看看這是否是你想要追求的。去別人手下工作。你可以去麥當勞工作，因為你有一天想擁有一家麥當勞。這沒什麼不好。去沃爾瑪工作，因為你有一天想經營沃爾瑪。

I wanna I wanna work at the corporate office and run all of them. Okay. So start off as a cashier and work your way up. You know? Absolutely.

It's it's just different ways of doing it. But remember this. Ask your ask yourself this question. Why would somebody hire you? And the answer to that question from your perspective needs to be, what value do I bring to this organization?

So figure out I wanna be the CEO of some company. Great. What value do you bring to that? In other words, what have you learned? What things can you apply?

Because CEOs get paid big money not to run the company from day to day to day to day. They get paid to think how things are gonna be in the future. They get paid their money when things go wrong and things are horrible. So how do you know how to do that? You have life experiences.

You get into life. You are a lifelong learner. You should die learning. You should never stop learning. And the other thing, and this is something I learned as a negotiator, always be curious.

We were taught that our biggest asset as negotiators was our voice, our curious voice. Oh, really? How did that happen? What got us to this point? Be curious about things.

If you don't understand something, ask somebody. And I know and when I was growing up, when I was 13 years old, I was six foot five. I had a size fourteen shoe, and my ears looked like Dumbo from the Disney movie. They were huge. I was teased mercilessly, but I took that and I put it into something constructive, which was basketball, which allowed me to get to college.

But I didn't wanna ask questions. I didn't wanna raise my hand on what if it's a stupid question. There is no such thing as a stupid question if you don't know the answer to it. Why are you stealing my quotes? Because that's a quote I say all the time, and I never even said it to you.

Thief, no. Great lines, big one. True. True. True.

Well, it's been so, so, so awesome talking to you, and I really mean that. For those of you who, I'll let Terry tell you his his, details in a moment. But for for those of you who have not seen Terry yet or heard of him, I strongly recommend that you go to his website and learn more about him. He's a multifaceted man. He has only talked about 3% of who he is right now.

He's very, very, very inspirational and fascinating if you the more you learn about his whole story. So, Terry, tell them how they can find you. Yeah. So I have a a blog slash website called motivational check. Every day, I put up a thought for the day with that thought.

Usually comes a question about how maybe you can apply that thought into your life. I have recommendations for books to read, videos to watch. You can leave me a message. That's all at motivationalcheck.com. Yes.

And I I seriously hope that most of you go there and and check it out. I I do daily quotes too, so I really believe in that. And you never know, you know, you never know who you're gonna help with those things. So I I love that you do that as well. And once again, thank you.

Thank you. Thank you again for coming on. Well, thank you for having me on. I enjoyed talking with you. And now for a mind shifting moment.

Terry talked about a few principles today that are really great to live by, but I wanna hone in on one of them and plan a thought saved in your head today. He talked about taking your pain, taking what you've been through, taking your experiences and doing something with them. Accepting them and then converting them into something better for yourself. George Washington Carver discovered over 300 uses for the peanuts. He didn't just look at a nut and say, Oh, that's nuts.

他發現了利用堅果改善同胞生活的方法。你的一生中吃過多少堅果？你吃過多少堅果？學習如何把它變成花生醬。學習如何把它變成燃料。

你經歷了什麼？今天就下定決心，克服你所經歷的一切，承受的痛苦，而不是一直壓抑著，這樣你才能將其轉化為你未來的動力，或幫助他人。我希望你思考如何做到這一點。感謝收聽「心靈轉換力量」播客。請按讚並訂閱我的YouTube頻道「心靈轉換者」。

如果您有任何評論、主題建議，或想成為本集節目的嘉賓，請造訪 FatimaBay.com/podcast。記住，改變思考的力量是無窮的。請關注下週節目。