Welcome to Mindshift Power podcast, a show for teenagers and the adults who work with them, where we have raw and honest conversations. I'm your host, Fatima Bey, the mind shifter. And welcome, everyone. Today, we're gonna talk about what is mental fashion. We're gonna talk about something that I I've been seeing everywhere.

It's on social media, it's in schools, casual conversations, sometimes at people's jobs. And that is just like we have fashion trends and clothing, we seem to be treating mental health like it's the latest TikTok trend. I'm gonna dive into why this matters and why it's a big deal. And just as an FYI, this is being recorded in December of twenty twenty four. In the future, some of these trends may be different.

但我向你們保證，我今天要講的那些原則，現在依然適用。所以，無論你們在哪一年聽到這些，它們都適用，因為其中一些人至今仍在做著同樣的事情。那麼，我們先來談談社群媒體的影響。社群媒體是一種工具，是實現這一目標的途徑之一，但並非唯一途徑。所以，請在收聽時牢記這一點。

Algorithms reward sharing emotional struggles. This is not good, but it's what really happens. And I want you to think about that when you see stuff fly across your TikTok, your IG, your Facebook, your whatever. Just pick a pick a platform. There are algorithms that determine there are systems that determine what is shown in front of your face.

And unfortunately, emotional struggles trend, so they get shown in front of your face more than politics sometimes. There's a difference between reaching out for support and performing trauma for likes, which is what a lot of this stuff is, unfortunately. There's a rise in self diagnosis based on viral videos instead of actual diagnosis, and there is a difference. For example, when did having a bad day turn into saying that I'm depressed. I have depression.

不，你不會。你只是心情不好，現在你把它變成標籤了。所以，我們來談談收集標籤，這是把診斷當成收藏品來看的趨勢。例如，我稱之為TikTok診斷集合。

你可能看過那些TikTok或其他POV影片。你患有ADHD，之後會有一些很正常的症狀，例如偶爾分心或房間亂糟糟的。突然間，你的FYP（未來五年計畫）裡全是ADHD的內容，你開始想，我的天哪，這太像我了。接下來，你知道的，你告訴所有人你患有ADHD，把它寫進你的個人簡介，讓它成為你個性的一部分，而這一切都發生在你還沒去看醫生的時候。

Self diagnosis. Then a week later, you see videos about another condition, and the cycle starts all over again. It's like collecting Pokemon cards, except these are serious medical conditions that affect real people's lives. It is not a good thing to wear these labels that don't actually apply to you because people who struggle with ADHD, people who are truly neurodivergent, they have real struggles. It's not easy for them to do what some of us call, quote, unquote, normal.

So why should we minimize their struggles by being selfish enough to wear them as false labels and claim conditions that you don't have? Another example this is relative to is the bio builder. Let's talk about social media bios. You know, the ones where it's where it says she slash they slash them and a butterfly or a smiley face or some other emoji. ADHD slash anxiety slash depression slash DID slash autism slash OCD with a rainbow at the end or some other emoji.

Oh my god. Could you give us a bigger red flag to run away from you? Ninety percent of the people that have buy have all of this in their bio don't have a single one of those diagnosis except maybe one. One thing might be true. She, he, or they.

剩下的標籤是他們從別處撿來的，因為他們當時很流行，或是為了吸引別人的注意。他們需要標籤，因為他們不知道自己是誰。所以他們會給自己貼上標籤，主要是為了吸引別人的注意。這變成了一個徽章。它就像一個徽章集合，上面有各種各樣的頭銜。讓我看看我能得到什麼來吸引別人的注意。

Let me see what I can slap on myself. Where the most labels you list, the more interesting and valid you seem. But here's the thing. You really are already interesting without turning mental health conditions into accessories. Having anxiety isn't a personality trait.

Being neurodivergent isn't a social media aesthetic. These are real issues for people, and they're real daily struggles. They're not tokens for you to collect online identity. I really want you to think about this because some of you do this and you're listening to me right now. You know I'm talking about you.

你這樣做。我希望你停止，但我希望你明白為什麼你應該停止。所以，請繼續聽。這會傷害那些真正了解這些事情的人。原因如下。

If we keep hearing the same thing over and over again over basic things, well, that word loses its power. It loses its power that you have PTSD when you you you're just upset about something. That's not PTSD. Somebody who's going through actual war, who's actually been raped, who's actually been, you know, beat up by a gang of people, who's had their house broken into while they were in it. These are traumatic things.

每個人的創傷看起來都不一樣，所以我只列舉了一些比較明顯的。但這些都是創傷性的事情。如果你沒有經歷過，就不要給自己貼上這樣的標籤，這樣反而會降低他們的創傷性。因為，比如說，我在其他劇集中也用過這個例子。

When someone cries rape and they weren't actually raped, they just had sex with a bozo and regret it and don't wanna admit it. But they or they cry rape because they wanna get back at the person because they rejected them, whatever. It minimizes the effect of that term for those who are actually raped, which is a very, very traumatizing thing to go through. You minimize it for neurodivergent people when you pretend that's you and it's not. You minimize their struggles.

That's selfish. Please stop. That that goes into, it hurts them because we don't believe them. It hurts them because now the water's the word's watered down, and we just don't think it means anything anymore because it's been overused. Anything anytime you take a word and you overuse it, it always loses its meaning.

I don't care what topic you're talking about. When you overuse a word, it loses its meaning. It loses its impact. Its definition doesn't change in the dictionary, but it loses its impact. And that is why it hurts people.

Let's talk about the word triggered. And in a couple years, this might not be a trend, but right now it still is. And the word triggered has become casual slang, and it shouldn't be because it's a legitimate mental health term. It actually is. And there are there are people who are genuinely triggered.

但讓我解釋一下被觸發和僅僅因為某事不開心或感到沮喪之間的區別。當一個人被合理地觸發時，就會引發真正的創傷反應。你的身體會做出生理反應，例如恐慌、閃回、心跳加速，或是覺得自己真的處於危險之中。這是一種非自願的反應，通常與創傷後壓力症候群 (PTSD) 或嚴重創傷有關。真正被觸發的人通常需要讓自己脫離困境，並使用他們與心理健康專業人士共同製定的特定應對策略。

這才是真正被觸發的樣子。用「我被觸發」來形容一種趨勢，其實是想表達「我生氣了」或「我不喜歡」的意思，就像說「我被那些先喝牛奶再吃麥片的人觸發了」一樣。如果TikTok上的聲音讓我被觸發了，請停止。不舒服、噁心或惱怒與被觸發是兩碼事。你看出差別了嗎？

請不要輕視。請不要再用這個字了。不要再輕視那些真正被真實創傷所觸動的人。不要再用那個適用於他們的字眼來輕視他們的經驗。這非常非常自私。

And if you really dig a little deeper, it's actually arrogant. We can learn to express ourselves without minimizing clinical terms. And again, I'm gonna say when we use the word triggered for every minor annoyance, it makes it harder for people with real trauma to be taken seriously. And that's the damage that you were doing every time you misuse that word. Someone who has been someone who's and I'm gonna use this as an example because it's a harsh one, but it's true.

一個被叔叔性侵過的人，每次被他強姦，身上都會散發出某種古龍水的味道，而當她聞到別人身上有這種古龍水的味道時，她的性慾就會被觸發。她不是在誇張，而是被反覆強暴的記憶所牽引。真正的性慾觸發就是這樣的。不是因為不喜歡那首歌，或是她讓你心煩意亂，或只是因為某件事而感到惱火。

Triggered goes far beyond just being upset about something, far beyond discomfort. Because when that person is triggered and they smell that cologne, it brings them back to their PTSD, really, and they might start hyperventilating. They might need to just, like, leave the room and get sweaty. They'll have different physical responses. But that's a real thing for people, And it's so selfish to take that and wear it as your label so you can get some attention.

請停下來。我想談的另一件事是與這個主題相關的「毒性積極性」和「毒性消極性」。我會向你們解釋這兩者究竟是什麼。 「毒性積極性」指的是那些只擁有良好氛圍的人。我並不是說所有隻擁有良好氛圍的人都在實踐“毒性積極性”，因為事實並非如此。

However, I would say at least 60% of the people saying good vibes only mean I don't wanna deal with nothing, so let me sprinkle sugar on this shit and pretend it's chocolate. Yeah. That's what I said. That's what they do. Some people with toxic positivity, they'll post they'll say good vibes only.

They'll post on Instagram or whatever platform, choose happiness, and they'll find quotes that say something like that instead of dealing with the real stuff. They avoid the quotes and the things in the post that deal with the real stuff. They avoid people like me because I'll make you deal with your stuff. They try to sugarcoat the garbage, sugarcoat the bad instead of actually dealing with it. This is toxic.

And these are the same people that will try to sugarcoat everything when you try to talk to them about something real and uncomfortable. The one who says, just be grateful, when you're struggling with a tough situation. That's toxic positivity. Or as I like to say, you sound like a damn airhead. It's when people act like you should never feel bad.

And if you do, you're just not trying hard enough to be positive. That's a load of crap. You need to deal with stuff. It's gonna feel bad and it's gonna look bad sometimes. But once you deal with it, that's when you can sprinkle on the positivity.

因為這樣你就能真正地積極起來，而不是那些有害的虛假積極。它之所以有害，是因為有時它之所以有害，是因為我們有時並沒有真正處理問題，而是在問題上撒些正面的東西，而不是真正去解決它。你猜，如果你在傷口上撒糖會發生什麼事？傷口不會好轉。所以，當你試圖用有害的積極性來處理問題時，情況實際上只會變得更糟，因為你並沒有解決問題。

Toxic positivity doesn't solve problems. It helps them to fester. It's like putting a band aid on a broken arm and saying, there. Oh, better. Got a pretty sparkly band aid.

That doesn't solve it. Now let's talk about negative, toxic negativity. This this is the other extreme. This is where everything is literally the worst crowd. The ones who make their entire personality about how awful life is.

They post about having a mental breakdown because their coffee order was wrong, or they're literally dying because they have to wake up for school or go to work or go to this meeting they don't wanna deal with. They compete for who has it worse and turn every minor setback into proof that the universe is against them. It's like they're collecting tragedy points in some weird game of whose life is more dramatic. Both of these people are mentally imbalanced, are mental extremists. What does that mean?

That means that they go to the extreme instead of being balanced, which is the area in which things work because everything in life that works has balance. And everything that's broken, something's imbalanced. And people with a toxic negativity and toxic positivity actually cause more problems than they solve. When you are constantly focusing on how bad life is and trying to compete for the worst life story, they're the same people that are in chats, group chats that are always making their story more tragic than another as if it's a competition. I want you to think about this.

If you are this toxic negativity person or toxic positivity person, and maybe I am talking about you, It's not too late for you to change that, but I want you to take a dive deeper. Why do you do that? Why do you go to that extreme instead of being in the middle where the problems can be solved? I want you to ask yourself that question deeply and honestly and then answer it. And if you don't know how to answer it, get some help with from someone who can.

So what's the healthy middle ground? It's okay to have bad days and good days. Guess what? That's normal. You're going to have bad days.

你總會有好日子的。既然是人，自然而然就會有好日子過。你可以承認事情糟糕透頂，但不必把它當成你的全部。那時你就能保持平衡。你可以努力讓自己變得更好，而不必假裝一切都完美。

這就是平衡的真諦。真正的力量不在於永遠積極或永遠消極。而在於坦誠面對自己的處境，繼續前進。要培養韌性，而不是扮演受害者的角色。讓我們認真思考一下。

經歷苦難和把經歷苦難當成你的品牌和全部意義，這兩者之間有著巨大的差異。坦白說，90% 的苦難源自於對關注的需求。即使你知道這是因為你需要關注，我也希望你更深入地思考，為什麼你如此迫切地需要關注。你看，真正的韌性和扮演受害者是兩碼事。所以我想向你解釋一下這到底意味著什麼，以及它是什麼樣子的。

Resilience. Real resilience is like building your emotional muscles. Yeah. Sometimes things are genuinely hard. Maybe your parents are divorcing.

Maybe you're dealing with a breakup or friend trauma. You're stressed out about school or college or work. You know? Maybe you got some real stuff going on that's hard to deal with because that happens. Those feelings are totally valid.

It's valid to feel bad about it. It's valid to to have a moment of of discouragement. Notice I said moment. It is valid to to have some bad feelings sometimes. But instead of posting aesthetic sad quotes and collecting sympathy likes or being the most tragic person in your group of friends.

當你擁有韌性時，你實際上是在做一些事情。也許你正在與輔導員交談，也許你正在與教堂、清真寺、鄰里或社區中心的人交談，也許你正在學習更好的方法來應對壓力，或者尋找健康的情緒管理方式。無論哪種方式，你都會變得更強大。你看，韌性並非完美無缺，而是無論怎樣都能不斷前進。

And you can fill in the blank as to what that regardless is. That is different than playing the victim. So let's talk about that. Playing the victim is like wearing your struggles like they're designer labels. Again, back to the fashion reference.

因為我們經常看到人們這樣做。當你扮演受害者時，我再怎麼強調也不為過，你真的會造成傷害。你假裝受害者，卻傷害了真正的受害者。這很自私。所以，當你扮演受害者時，你把你的掙扎當成設計師的標籤一樣掛在臉上。

就是你每則貼文都寫上受創的閨蜜，在群組裡比誰更慘，基本上把所有小麻煩都變成你的反派起源故事。比如，我的天哪。我媽要我打掃房間。她簡直太毒了。姑娘，閉嘴。

Boy, shut up. Your mom is not being toxic. She's being a mom, and you're being a drama queen. But you're also doing damage to those who really do have toxic parents and live in abusive homes, where they're mentally being abused and their parent is toxic. That's a real thing.

Why are you furthering their damage by taking on the labels that belong to them? It's selfish. Here's the thing. Life is gonna throw stuff at you either way. I like to say life is gonna throw you rocks.

You can either let them crush you or use them as stepping stones to climb. The choice is yours. You can use the challenges in life to level up and get stronger, Or you can collect them as pity points on social media or in a social gathering because not all of it's on social media. Sometimes it's in person. But like I said, either way is a choice.

But only one of these options actually help you to grow and get ahead. Health struggles are real and valid. Please do not minimize them by misusing the labels that belong to them. If you're not sure if you will if one of these labels belong to you, that's okay. Seek professional help and find out.

There's nothing wrong with that. Maybe you did hear something about HDAD and you are seeing yourself in that post, and maybe it is true. And if so, that's okay. Figure it out now so you can get help for it and learn how to deal with it. But don't just slap on a label because you saw it somewhere and it's trending right now.

You're the next fool. You're the trending fool when you do that, and it's selfish. It is important to build genuine coping skills, but we usually need help to figure out what that is for us. You can either talk to a professional, or sometimes it's just as helpful to talk to somebody else who's been through the same struggles that you've been through and find out what their coping skills are. And this is why it's good to listen to podcasts.

And this is where social media can be extremely helpful when people go on with social media and and talk about their struggles. I love to see it when people talk about their real genuine heartfelt struggles on social media because it can help those who are going through it. I wanna clarify that is not the same thing as those who are using that same struggle label for their own attention grabbing. Please listen to this today and know the difference. And I'm hoping that you take this lesson, you take this message today, and really ponder what applies to you.

這裡給你們一些人一個小作業。如果你是社群媒體用戶，想知道這是否適用於你，並且你首先對此提出質疑，如果你質疑它，這實際上是一件好事。這意味著你願意看看自己是否需要做出改變。聽起來你可能願意成長。這是一件好事。

So if you're not sure if this applies to you or not or whether or not you are being toxic, take a look at your social media. Look at what you put out there. Are you putting out woe is me, look what I have, attention grabbing stuff? Are you putting out things to encourage others? Are you what what are you putting out?

What are you putting out? Toxic positivity? Everything's great all the time. We'll pretend like no problems are real. We'll brush them under the rug.

And then why we then wonder why we trip over that rug. Duh. Because that's what people do with toxic positivity. And if you're not a social media person, I have a tip for you. What comes out of your mouth?

If you take everything that comes out of your mouth and you were to put them into two different buckets, one that builds and one that tears down, which bucket would have more in it? I just want you to think about that. I hope that you got something out of today's episode, and I want you to go back and listen to this again later and share it. Please share it because a lot of people need to hear this right now. Thank you for listening.

Thank you for listening to Mindshift Power Podcast. Please like and subscribe to my YouTube channel at the mind shifter. If you have any comments, topic suggestions, or would like to be a guest on the show, please visit FatimaBay.com/podcast. Remember, there's power in shifting your thinking. Tune in for next week.