法蒂瑪：0:01

歡迎收聽 MindShift Power Podcast，這是唯一一個關注青少年的國際播客，匯聚了來自世界各地的年輕人的聲音和觀點。準備好探討當今青少年關注的、並將塑造未來世界的議題吧。我是主持人 fatima Bey，MindShifter，歡迎大家收聽。今天我們邀請到了 Kristina Hardy。她住在紐約州北部，是一位作家，也是一位普通的女性，在成長和發展方面取得了長足的進步，她有一些對少女們特別有意義的事情想分享。 Kristina，你今天過得怎麼樣？我很好，謝謝你。太好了，請和我們講講你過去和現在的情況。這是一個很難回答的問題。

Kristina: 0:51

以前的我非常不快樂。我曾經非常超重，很多方面都不健康，現在我的體重比以前輕了大約170磅。我現在擁有一段幸福、健康的感情，並且對生活充滿正面的態度。

法蒂瑪：1:12

哇，這差別真是太大了。那麼這兩個人之間到底發生了什麼事呢？

Kristina: 1:20

A lot of growth, a lot of soul searching, a lot of going inside.

法蒂瑪：1:25

Was that always comfortable? No, can you give us an example of something that happened or that you did? That was a part of that journey?

Kristina: 1:32

Absolutely. There's a couple things, one of which is mantras. I think that mantras are very important. I think that the words that you tell yourself make a difference on the inside, and words are very, very important. So I would say mantras every day. I would look in the mirror, and the mirror was another thing that was very difficult for me to get past. I had a hard time looking at myself in the mirror.

法蒂瑪：1:58

有很多人，我的意思是很多年輕女性，都能說出同樣的話。讓她們照照鏡子，認真地照鏡子，而不僅僅是十幾歲的女孩。我曾為60多歲的成年女性提供諮詢，她們覺得照鏡子很困難。所以，這不只是你一個人的問題，我提到這一點，是因為我真的很想讓觀眾知道，她們並不孤單。她們並不孤單地在掙扎。所以，我要說的是箴言。那麼，有哪些箴言呢？

Kristina: 2:29

They are. Anything it has to be. It can be something simple and not complicated, like. I am worthy, I am beautiful, I'm a good person, I deserve to be happy and that worked for you.

Fatima: 2:42

是的，是的。我值得擁有幸福。

Kristina: 2:42

這對你來說很有效。確實如此，隨著時間的推移，我對他們需要做的事情越來越複雜了。

法蒂瑪：2:52

What made you believe that you're worthy?

Kristina: 2:56

I think that just hearing myself say that helped make me feel worthy. But there's so many reasons why I'm worthy so I didn't really why.

Fatima: 3:07

為什麼值得？

克里斯蒂娜：3:09

I am worthy because I add value to things in people's lives. I am a great listener, I give great advice. I have a certain way to add value to anybody's life, depending on who they are.

法蒂瑪：3:26

So you didn't just say these things because they're great soundbites. You actually dug deep into figuring out why.

克里斯蒂娜：3:33

Correct and at first yeah, but at first they were just soundbites and then after a while, they became more than soundbites.

法蒂瑪：3:43

克里斯蒂娜，你說得非常好。說了這麼多，你創建了這個日記，我們今天來這裡就是為了討論這個日記。我通常不會邀請大家來這裡討論日記，因為坦白說，日記隨處可見，但你的日記與眾不同，這就是我今天邀請你來這裡的原因。所以，跟大家介紹一下你創建的這個日記吧。

Kristina: 4:02

這是一個過程，它不只是一本寫滿幾行字的日記。它包含七首詩，我想是七首，每首詩後面都附有相應的問題。這些詩都探討了你生活中需要努力的不同類型的事情。此外，還有一些自我發現的頁面，可以幫助你理解你可能在詩中讀到的內容。這本書會重複四次，你需要花一段時間，無論是六週還是三個月。

Kristina: 4:37

I suggest doing this over the course of a year, just because it gives you a long period of time to get some sort of results. You read the poems, you go through the first section in whatever period of time. You come back, you read the poems, you go through the section again and then you compare what you did from the previous one or two or whatever section you're on. When you get done with that, you can kind of see things starting to filter out as to what you need to work on, where you've gone. Where you're going, it will help you to find your direction to grow.

Fatima: 5:11

它也會顯示你已經取得的成長。

Kristina: 5:14

Correct.

Fatima: 5:15

Correct, and that's. I think that that is huge. I like the fact that you incorporated poetry into it, because I think that that's different. Maybe there's another journal with poetry out there, but if there is, I've never seen it or heard of one. That's quite like what you have here.

Fatima: 5:31

它很全面，實際上非常簡單，我非常相信對比筆記的作用，可以這麼說，對比六個月前的你和現在的你，或者其他任何時間段的你，因為如果不比較，你真的看不到自己的成長。真的看不到。這有點像是看著植物生長。你可以看到它從地裡發芽，好吧，你可以看到這一點，但在它生長的其餘時間，如果你盯著它看得足夠久，你就看不到生長。你必須在一兩天、一周、一個月或任何計劃後再回來，你才能看到成長，但前提是中間要間隔一段時間。

Fatima: 6:08

人嘛，我們也是一樣。我們大多數時候都注意不到自己的成長，我不知道你怎麼樣，但如果我能真切地看到自己的成長，那真的會很受鼓舞。我喜歡觀察別人的成長，總是能指出來，但我很少在自己身上看到。客觀地看待自己很難，所以我很喜歡你這樣安排。那麼，說到詩歌，你為什麼決定這麼做呢？

Kristina: 6:34

add poetry to it. It's written in poetry and the reason why I went to poetry is well, first of all I came up with a poem first and that actually started this whole thing. But the other reason is poetry is like music. The words have a cadence to them or rhythm to them that you can memorize it and you can feel it. And it's there, it's tangible, you can feel it. So the poems are kind of like music. Music is a poem basically with instruments.

法蒂瑪：7:06

That's true. I think that that's different. Now, I've seen some of the, I've read some of the poems and but I want you to read just a little snippet of one of the poems to the audience so they get an idea of what's in the journal.

克里斯蒂娜：7:19

I can read you the whole poem on this one. And the reason why are the poems are very short, they're only a few stanzas. This one is three stanzas, so it's really short. It's called Words we Weave, and this one has particular meaning for me. So Words we Weave, she laughed it off. A casual phrase, a joke, she thought would fade like haze. Yet words take root, they start to bloom and what you speak, your soul consumes. A fleeting sight, a fleeting slight, a thoughtless jest can carve a doubt within the breast. Her mind won't question. If it's true, it holds each word and shapes anew. So let her speak with kindness, art to lift herself, to heal, to start, for every thought. Each word she sows becomes the path on which she goes.

Fatima: 8:11

I like that and I think it's pretty obvious what it's about. What is that one about?

Kristina: 8:15

我們對自己說的話，無論是“哦，我真是個混蛋”，還是諸如此類的隨意話語，對你來說都意義非凡。你的大腦並不知道你在諷刺，也不知道你在開玩笑。你的大腦聽得懂每一個字。這非常直觀，你需要用正面的字眼來描述自己，因為這很重要。

Fatima: 8:41

It really does. It's interesting we're talking about this because I have a blog post that I wrote years ago and I just recently started my blog again, so I was actually reading it and it's called Fighting Words. And I was talking one day. I was just casually talking bad about myself. I don't know what comment I made, but it was a negative comment about myself. I wasn't even aware that I was doing it really, and my coworker looked at me, got upset and said don't you be talking about my Fatima like that, I'll fight you.

Fatima: 9:11

And then, a couple of months later, another friend did the same thing, but much worse, much, much, I wouldn't say worse, much harder. We were at some event I think it was her birthday party, and I don't know what I said, some some sort of insult to myself. She got all up in my face and said what did you say about my friend? And I was just laughing because she was acting crazy. And then she just stared, looked at me intensely in my face and wouldn't leave me alone until I took it back. She, she was.

Fatima: 9:37

She looked like she was about to kick my ass, and but what that made me recognize was that I was still in, that, that I was still at that point that I was doing a lot of negative self-talk and I didn't and this was only a few years ago and I didn't even recognize that I you know that I I was still doing that, Like I thought I had grown past that, but it was still a part of my psyche and so I had to make a concerted effort to get out of that and not talk, talk to myself like that, and now I help other people to not do the same, and I love that your journal has a piece about that, because that is one of the number one things. There is no number one thing, but it's one of the top things. That is an issue especially for young women. There's some guys that have the issue too, but especially for young women, where the way we talk to ourselves is so important.

Kristina: 10:27

絕對沒錯。如果你不會這樣跟你最好的朋友說話，如果你不會這樣跟你最好的朋友說，那就別對自己說了。你說得完全正確，好建議。

Kristina: 10:36

I think one of the things that we learn, though, is that if we are mean to ourselves first is that if we are mean to ourselves first, we take away somebody else's power to be mean to us, and so we teach ourselves to talk that way so we don't get hurt so bad, but what we do is we end up hurting ourselves worse than anybody else could ever hurt us.

Fatima: 10:57

Yeah, because words matter. Yeah, Words matter and they're an expression of where your mind already is. Anyway. If you think you're a piece of crap, you're going to talk to yourself like you're a piece of crap. If you think you're worth something, you are going to talk to yourself like you're worth something. It's really, it's an expression of what's already there. But it also helps, and we specifically are targeting teen girls when we're talking about the journal. Why should a young woman want to use it? Why can't she just talk into her phone and save it?

Kristina: 11:33

Because a couple of things. I guess one of the first things that I'm going to say is that talking into your phone is great, but when you write something, that talking into your phone is great, but when you write something, you are committing those words to a piece of paper and you can't just hit a button and take it away. Those words are there for anyone who picks up the piece of paper to see, so it becomes more real to somebody. And the other thing is because this is guided with questions after each thing. There's even some of these even have pictures to draw. Because of that, it makes it easier than just writing words on a page that has just lines on it. So you're being guided to help you find the best way to express yourself.

Fatima: 12:21

Yes, I completely agree with you. Writing something out is not the same thing as recording something digital that you can throw away later, or click and hit delete. Now you could throw a piece of paper away after you write it down, sure, but it's just. It's not the same expression as when you're writing it down, writing it out. Here's something that points that out. I'll take a little bit even more. Sometimes, when we're dealing with hard stuff, it can be hard to come out of our mouths.

克里斯蒂娜：12:50

Yes.

Fatima: 12:51

You get this lump in your throat, you can't even say the words, but you might be able to write it down and if you write down the hard thing, it actually makes it easier for you to let it come out of your mouth later or after, or maybe immediately after, depending on the situation. But writing something out that you cannot say, you don't know how to say, it's difficult to come out of your mouth because it runs so deep. Writing it out actually can help you get there and that is one of the tools that actually, when I'm coaching and when I'm doing therapy sessions that I have people do, because sometimes they can't, they don't know how to express it. They just it's just so hard and I, which I get and that's one of the reasons why I like journaling in general, but especially yours, because you have very specific guided questions on journaling that make you think, which is the whole point that make you think, and some of those answers might not be easy to say, but you can write it down.

Fatima: 13:48

And writing stuff down also helps us to straighten out our thoughts, because when we keep everything jumbled up in our head, it's a jungle in there and you've got all these monkeys and elephants running around and Tarzan running around trying to find people. So you got all this stuff going around your head and it's hard sometimes to keep those thoughts straight, and writing them down actually helps to organize them, to really kind of look at them one at a time, and I like that you do that. Can you give them an example of one of the questions that you have?

Kristina: 14:17

當然，我會從這首詩中抽取靈感，因為每個部分都有不同的問題。所以，讀完這首詩後，第一個問題是這行詩是什麼意思？然而，文字生根發芽，開始綻放，你所說的話，你的靈魂所吞噬的，對你來說意味著什麼。所以，它會帶你回到詩中，思考：這對我有什麼意義？這對我有什麼影響？你的靈魂所吞噬的，代表什麼？它讓你在腦海中靜靜地提出這些問題，然後寫下你的答案。下一個問題是，留意轉瞬即逝的輕蔑，一句無心的玩笑，會如何改變你對自己的言談舉止和自我認知？

法蒂瑪：15:01

So, going back to like the self-deprecating and, you know, casual sort of slights that we give ourselves every day, I like that you asked those questions afterwards and didn't just give them a poem with blank lines, because the questions force. It forces us to look in a mirror, even if we're not physically looking at one. It forces us to look at ourselves and say, well, do I do that? Oh man, I should stop doing that. And those sorts of thoughts they matter. They give that self-examined. So, like I was in the example I was using earlier, my friends that told me they wanted to fight me for talking bad about myself. That's what they did for me. They forced me to look at myself and go oh so you're helping people to do that without their friends trying to fight them. That's nice.

Kristina: 15:47

Yes, that's true, but I go ahead. Well then, what happens with this is you've got these words down on this page, you've answered your questions, you've read your poems. You paperclip this section, all of the poems. You paperclip it together and you save it aside. Now, whether you know it or not, what's happening is these little things start to filter back into your head when you're doing them. So now you might do something and say God, what a jerk I am. And all of a sudden it's going to come back to what things did you say about yourself? What slight did you have? What mean thing did you say? And you can go back into the poem in your brain without ever actually picking the book back up and remember oh, but don't stop talking bad about myself.

Fatima: 16:40

Can I add to that? Sure, I'm going to say for those of you, please do get the journal. I do think if you are interested in actually growing a better, you then get the journal. If you do, here's my suggestion that you add with it, especially after this poem in particular, one day, just one day you can do it on your phone or do it on a piece of paper, whatever works for you Write down every single sentence that you say to yourself, internally or externally, just for 24 hours.

Fatima: 17:10

Write down every thought you have about yourself and everything you said about yourself, even in jest, even joking to your friends I know I'm such a loser. Or you were thinking, damn, nobody likes me because I'm so freaking stupid. Whatever the thought is that you have, or wow, I am so awesome, good or bad write them down and then go back to the journal. You'll begin to see things. Some will be good, some will be bad, but you'll begin to see things. I always tell people documents themselves for 24 hours whenever they're trying to look at something, because we're not even self-aware. You know, just like I wasn't aware of just how negative I was about myself and I understand its root and it was there for a long time, most of my life, and I've worked very hard to actively out uproot it. But you can't uproot what you don't see, and that's what a journal helps with.

法蒂瑪：17:57

Absolutely To see the things that we can uproot and deal with and make better, because everything we don't deal with is already dealing with us. We can run around and act like the fire's not burning, but when our house burns down, go, oh, I should have put the fire out. And that's what happens when we don't deal with our stuff. So I love that this journal kind of helps us to explore these things in a gentle way. That's not in your face that we have total control over, and it's not just you randomly put words on a page although there's a place for that too. There's absolutely a place for that too, and that's necessary as well. But because sometimes people need that and I even encourage people to do that in certain situations that they just need to express themselves without doing other things.

Fatima: 18:44

但我喜歡它有條理，有比較，你真的只是在做這樣的事情。你只有比較才能意識到這一點，而這需要時間。你說你建議人們花大約一年的時間來完成這件事。我知道對大多數青少年來說，一年相當於142000年，差不多。那麼，普通的青少年，例如14歲的人，能在六個月內做到這一點嗎？

克里斯蒂娜：19:13

Absolutely, absolutely. There is no strict guideline to say this. This is what I felt like would be the right amount of time for an adult to get through it, but by all means, if you're going to do one a month even you know one section a month you can probably be done in four months. Are you going to see a lot of change? Probably not.

法蒂瑪：19:36

But every little bit counts, every little bit counts Absolutely.

Kristina: 19:41

But somebody who might be looking to see big changes. You know those people. For the instant gratification, you're not going to see as much change.

法蒂瑪：19:49

It's there but you won't see as much A year is a much longer time than it is for someone like you and I. I agree, sometimes just seeing a tiny little bit of progress encourages you to keep going, because people get discouraged easily. That's why I'm mentioning that, because I know that you have no strict timeline on it, and I do believe that it can work for them. But no matter what the timeline is, I'm talking to the teenage girls right now is I'm talking to the teenage girls right now, no matter what the timeline is, you're the one that has to keep up with it. You're the one that has to want change and want to be the best you, and not just be the girl that gets by, because if you want that, then this is for you. So, christina, what message do you have for young women around the world right now?

Kristina: 20:39

I would have to say that treating yourself with the respect that you treat others with is probably the biggest thing that you can do to open everything else up around you. You have to have a certain amount of self-respect and respect for the person who you are, the person who you are going to become, in order for that to happen. So I think respect is huge.

Fatima: 21:08

Yes, and even if you don't feel like you deserve it, do what Kristina said just start treating yourself as good as you treat your friends and your family and other people, because I do see that a lot. I see girls who are wonderful to everybody else I used to be that, actually but not so great to ourselves. So I completely agree with that and I think that's strong advice and I think it's a good starting point that anybody can start at. So, Kristina, tell people where they can find you.

Kristina: 21:35

I sell the book actually in my Etsy shop. It's called Beanie's Books and Stuff. I gave you the link, and you're going to put the link up for everybody, correct? Yep, yep, okay, and I do have. I'll send you the other links too. I have it in Amazon. It's in IngramSpark, which is a book publishing company, and Lulu Book, which is also a book publishing company.

Fatima: 22:01

我在Etsy商店裡有折扣，不過僅限「心靈轉變力量」播客的聽眾，你們可以享受特別折扣。我會在節目筆記和播客簡介裡放上折扣連結。折扣連結也會在本期節目播出的那一周，在我的播客頁面上的最近幾期節目中顯示。如果你真的想以一種對你有益的方式開啟你的自我提升之旅，你就可以點擊鏈接，享受折扣，併購買這本日記。克里斯蒂娜，非常感謝你為我的聽眾提供折扣。哦，不客氣，我很感激，也感謝你的到來。

Kristina: 22:41

Thank you for having me. I really enjoyed this.

Fatima: 22:46

And now for a mind shifting moment.

法蒂瑪：22:52

I want to take a moment to go back to something we talked about a little earlier in this episode. How you talk to yourself is very, very important to yourself, is very, very important. That inner dialogue, that conversation that happens inside your head. It is affecting every single area of your life. It is building you up or tearing you down. I want you to examine how do you talk to yourself, what thoughts do you say to yourself? What do you believe about yourself in the conversation inside your head? Not just the words that come out your mouth, but the conversation inside your head that you don't let anyone else hear.

法蒂瑪：23:30

What are you really saying to yourself? It's something I want you to think about. Some of the answers, the real answers, will be good and some will be bad. Work on the bad ones, praise yourself for the good ones. Work on the bad ones. Praise yourself for the good ones, but work on the bad ones. What you believe about yourself is the ultimate driver of the opportunities you do or don't take or make in every single area of life. I want you to think about that. Thank you for listening. Every single area of life. I want you to think about that.