歡迎收聽《思維轉換力量播客》，這是一個面向青少年及其相關成年人的節目，我們將在這裡進行坦誠而直接的對話。我是主持人法蒂瑪貝，思維轉換專家。歡迎大家收聽。今天我們邀請到的是來自喬治亞州的塔米卡·卡爾頓。

She's the founder and CEO of Tamika Carlton LLC. She is a relationship coach and communications expert. She has a lot of accolades. She's been on the Oprah Winfrey Show multiple times. She's a speaker.

她上過好幾個播客，也上過好幾本雜誌。但實際上，我們來這裡不是為了談論她所獲得的榮譽，而是為了聊聊她獲得這些榮譽的歷程。塔妮卡，你今天過得怎麼樣？我很好。

How are you? I'm good. I'm I'm really glad to hear be here, and I'm really looking forward to this conversation. So Me too. For sure.

There are, you know, there are a lot more accolades that I could read about you that I didn't because it would take, you know, too long. But you seem very you seem very accomplished. Do you consider yourself successful? Yeah. That's a great question.

I think for sure. I I I do believe that I'm successful. I also feel like I have so much more to do. So it's like, although I'm grateful for all that I have accomplished and I try to celebrate those wins, I'm also like, I have a lot to do in the world. So I'm excited to see what else comes from my life.

我喜歡你這麼說。你很有成就。你確實很有成就，因為你知道，到最後，我們會告訴人們去你的網站看看你獲得的所有其他榮譽。但是，你已經登上了一些相當重要的舞台，去過一些相當重要的地方，我很高興聽到你說你仍然覺得自己還沒有到達目標。我認為這很重要。

No. I feel like yeah. Yeah. You know, it's like it's like as long as I'm alive, I don't think that I'll ever be done with whatever it is that I wanna continue to do and just impact people. So I feel like, thank goodness, that I have been blessed with these great opportunities.

But at the end of the day, those were just small snippets in my life, and I wanna continue to do and pursue more. So that's a little bit about what I've been thinking. No. That's great and that's but that's also a part of what makes you great and it's part of what keeps anyone and and any kind of a leadership role or even a business leader. That's that's really what keeps us great.

Yeah is never believing that we've arrived. Yeah Yeah. And I love that you brought that up right away. So we we wanna talk about your journey. So you're obviously, you're an entrepreneur.

So tell us when did you become an entrepreneur? I became an entrepreneur officially in 02/2018. That was when I felt like I was kind of fed up with having to work for other people and and answer to other people. And, also, I felt like I wasn't able to, like, offer like, I would try to offer my opinions and input and provide feedback, but I just wasn't I didn't feel like I was being heard enough in all of the workplaces that I was in. And I was just like, it's time to do something different.

你知道，2018年2月的時候我們住在芝加哥，感覺就像，我需要改變一下。我需要一些更吸引人的東西來充實我的生活，因為我有點無聊。你知道嗎，無論做什麼都會變得停滯不前，感覺很無聊。這就是我在2018年2月的狀態。所以，是的。

所以你決定擺脫這種「老鼠賽跑」式的日常。這不過是為別人打工的無聊之舉。是啊。我覺得現在用「我」這個字比較貼切。是的。

就是這些廢話。就是這些廢話。而且，就像很多人有那麼多前任一樣，當你為別人工作時，人們對你抱有期望，你知道嗎？我只是覺得，a) 我的期望比我想像的要高，你知道，這些人希望我做的事情，但我也覺得我花了太多精力去實現別人的夢想。我以前聽過一句話，你基本上就是在實現別人的夢想。為什麼你為別人工作而不是為自己工作，而不是實現自己的夢想？

所以我覺得，是時候開始為自己做一些真正有意義的事了，而不是日復一日地敷衍了事。另外，我相信你也會同意這一點，在職場上，你常常被期望去迎合他們對職位的期望。沒錯，而不是最大限度地發揮你的天賦。沒錯。沒錯。

That's And I think there's very few places where that's not true. I agree a % and I think a lot of times, like, people see things in you, like, when you work for people, people see great things in you or even if whomever you're around, but, like, you know yourself the best. And I just felt like I wasn't being able to utilize or I wasn't able to utilize all of my gifts and all of the things that I really love to do. So entrepreneurship seemed like the better route for me at that time and please believe I really don't think I think I thought I was ready to pursue entrepreneurship before then, but I don't really think I was prepared, You know? Yeah.

因為創業並不容易。但是，是的。當你做得正確，並且做你喜歡的事情時，它絕對是值得的。絕對值得。作為一個創業者，我完全理解你所說的一切。

還有很多其他企業家也會說同樣的話。他們厭倦了為別人工作，厭倦了適應別人的框架。你會創造自己的框架嗎？是的，是的。

那麼，是什麼讓您選擇從事現在這個行業的呢？我的意思是，這又是一個很棒的問題。好的。 2018年2月，我和我先生在一起了。我和我先生是在2016年2月開始約會的，我們當時正處於一種困境之中，我們的關係非常融洽，每個人都覺得，你知道，他們看著我們，就像，哦，你們的關係值得我們效仿，你知道的。

And everyone just had this idea that we were doing so fantastic and we were, but like the reality was was that we were really struggling through real life situations. And I don't at the time, like, no one was really like people don't talk about the stress and the struggles on a relationship. People just talk about how great they're living their best lives, right? Or they like put all these pictures on social media and no one talks about how you get on each other's nerves, you know? And like you're having real disagreements, especially when you're getting into a fresh relationship to like merge two lives.

And there were times where I would just be like, man, I wish I could talk to somebody. Like who outside of like a therapist, right? I was just like, I wish I could I didn't really want to share with my friends because low key sometimes your friends are a little bit of a hater, right? I didn't really want to share with my family because I'm like, right? Because I'm like the family may they think that they know exactly and they know a certain side of me.

他們不了解這段感情，塔米卡。對吧？所以他們一定會有完全不同的意見。所以我就想，我們為什麼不創造一個空間，讓人們分享彼此的經驗呢？我為什麼不去做個感情教練呢？對吧？

And it just spawned into this whole whirlwind of now we do couples retreats. And now we just create a space for transparency to occur so people can talk about the headaches of relationships and their struggles and, you know, what they really want and need in a relationship. And it's been very rewarding to see how people can feel better about sharing and growing together as a couple versus being on the struggle bus by themselves. Yeah. So what I'm hearing is you you saw a need and Yep.

So you decided to figure out a way to fill it. And and a lot of entrepreneurs Pretty much. A lot of, businesses start that way, and a lot of entrepreneurship comes out that way. You know, sometimes people see a need and they're like, I don't know. I wish I could do something.

你不必祈求。你可以有所作為。你可以創造一些不存在的東西。是的，你不必。

You know? You don't have to wish. You don't have to wish. You can create. And I think a lot of a lot of entrepreneurship things come out of what do I need and what do I wish was out there for me?

Yes yes and let me create that that I wish was there for me to use. So yeah, I think it it was I didn't know what it was gonna look like. You know, you start off in the entrepreneurial space, and you have an idea of what it's gonna look like, and the universe just kind of pans out a different way with every action that you take, which is probably a lot better because had I planned it myself, I probably would have been doing something that that wasn't that shouldn't have been done the way that I that it that it could be done. I think that, you know, we basically went off of what we needed, and then we start getting more clients and customers, and we are doing things that they need and we need, if that makes sense. Absolutely.

Tell us about what because I wanna make sure we talk about this because sometimes people you know, this this show is for teens, and I really wanna encourage Yes. Teenagers to become entrepreneurs. But I like to give them reality. I don't wanna give them sugar coated crap and and tell them it's chocolate because that's what Mhmm. A lot of people do in society in general, but especially when it comes to teens.

You know? They're they're Yes. Yes. Yep. They just and and the teens know this, and they're just like, okay.

They're tuning right out because you're just giving them frilly frilly frum, frum, frum, and not reality. Right. What tell us about some of the struggles that you've had as an entrepreneur because I know it hasn't been all roses and and butterflies. Look. How many struggles have I not had?

Okay. Just just tell us about one because I I want to make sure that they have realistic expectations for whatever they're gonna deal with. I think the the main thing for me and I you know obviously making money in entrepreneurial and being an entrepreneur is hard. Like, it it doesn't it's not hard, but it's like you have to put in the work. Right?

我認為最重要的是，你直到不得不投入時才會意識到自己要投入多少時間和精力。所以我同意。我同意。漫漫長夜，尤其是在開始的時候，你必須犧牲很多，你知道，犧牲娛樂。你不得不犧牲朋友。

You have to sacrifice time that you normally spend doing other great fun things to create this business that you feel is gonna be fruitful for you and your family or whomever. And I think that, you know, for me, one of the biggest challenges with being an entrepreneur entrepreneur is, burnout. Like I have been burnt out of my head. Okay. Right?

很多時候，你會筋疲力盡，卻無人替你分擔。所以你必須全力以赴，我認為你必須有個理由才能繼續過這樣的生活。所以，身為一個人，身為一個企業家，真心實意地去做你正在做的事情非常重要。因為如果你不是真心想做這件事，也沒有強烈的動機或熱情，你很容易就會說，傑克，滾蛋吧。我受夠了。

我感覺非常真實。真的。我的意思是，是的。真的。你必須為了正確的理由去做某件事。

如果你只是為了錢而創業，你一定會放棄。因為創業，我不在乎你談論的是哪個領域。我不在乎你談論的是哪個領域。你必須先努力工作，才能看到錢。沒錯。

You gotta have that passion there because that's what'll drive you. And if you're only driven by money, go work for somebody. Don't do It's true. Go work for somebody instead. And the money isn't gonna come easy, but it's like once it starts slowing, it's much better.

But the money does not come easy. The money comes easy when you when you put in the work and when you are aligned with your passion and your why. That's what I like to say. Then the money will flow to you. But you have to there I talk to so many young people, and I'm just like, I don't think there's a true understanding of how much work it takes to be successful, period.

Like, it does not happen overnight. Yep. Right? It does Right. It does not you have to acquire skill sets.

You have to be resourceful, like, meaning Google and whatever, like, talking to other entrepreneurs has to be your best time to how you spend your time. Yeah. It's just you have to be willing to do more all the time. And it's worth it, but it's tiring. Yeah.

所以這需要大量的工作。真的需要大量的工作。這就是我們進行這次談話的原因，正如你剛才所說。我確實看到他們有時想要快速獲得結果。微波在自然界中存在是有原因的，成功並非如此。你好。

用微波爐。你不能直接加熱。你好。搞定。它不是那樣運作的。我不在乎你指的是哪個領域。

即使是籃球運動員，也需要大量的練習，大量的界外球，多年的磨練。你知道，在他們取得成功之前。我不在乎他們有多有天賦。他們仍然需要努力。就像你說的，努力是有回報的。

Now how did you get from you started in 02/2018. So how did you get from, you know, starting off as an entrepreneur to, you know, being, showcased on on big platforms like Oprah, for example? You've been in you've been in magazines and other platforms, but I'm saying Oprah because that's someone that's a name everybody knows. I know, right? I know.

是的，老好人歐普拉。你知道，這真的很有趣。我常常和朋友、密友，還有我的先生聊這個話題。我意識到我上歐普拉的原因是因為我多次聯繫過這個節目，我寫過很多次信，裡面全是我真實的感受。例如，我寫了我父親去世的故事，以及那段悲傷的經歷，以及它如何讓我的生活變得更好。對我來說，這幾乎就像一個宣洩的空間，因為我以前也很喜歡歐普拉，而且我感覺自己要上歐普拉溫芙瑞秀了。

我不在乎你該做什麼。我愛你。誰會想著「我一定會實現這個願望」呢？我只會說「我一定會實現這個願望」。好吧，那是另一回事。

It's like dedication, you know, dedication. Yeah. That makes work and I've learned, you know, over the over the course of my life with being becoming more successful, getting features on different shows and platforms and things. I can hire, like, a PR company, but guess when I get the best results and outcomes is when I reach out to people by myself. Because you're real.

I reach out to all of yes. Isn't that crazy? That's one of the reasons you're on my show right now because you were real. Hello. Thank you.

真的沒有。很多人申請上我的節目，但我不接受，他們都是專家，但他們不是，不是真正的專家。對。他們只是有點精明而已。這就是我走到今天這一步的原因。

Like it's me being me. Like just being truthful, honest, weird, sometimes me, you know. It's like, it's like that's carried me. So I've been able to be myself and reach out to these different platforms and say this is why I want to be there, not just for me, but for the impact that I can make for your guests or for your viewers or whomever because I think that's another thing I've learned. It's not always about me.

It's about how you can impact and influence someone else with your gift, right, or with your experience. So that's where I am, and I'm grateful. And listen. It was my husband was always like, you better tell people. For a long time, I did not wanna share that I was on the Oprah show.

我當時想，我才不想成為那樣的人。我當時想，我才不想成為那樣的人。然後我又想，哦，這就是你，這就是你。這就是你的成就，你知道嗎。它讓我走到了今天。

So yeah. I understand that. With with my bridal business, I when I first won, some national awards for it, I didn't really average that. I didn't it just I just didn't. Because I because, again, like, you know, I don't wanna be one of those people that's like, look at me.

Look at me. I'm not You know? But then Right. Do other do other people talking to me, you know, came to realize that it's actually it's good to do that. You know, it's an accolade that I I put my butt off.

So why shouldn't I be Right. That, you know, and help people. And it doesn't make people pay attention. You know? So, yeah, it is it is okay to to to do that.

It's it's different if you're just like, this defines me. I am now better than you. Yeah. When you act like when you act like that, that's when we're like, yeah. Shut up.

Shut up. You're being annoying. And I think yeah exactly. You know with you talking right super annoying with you talking about your accomplishments too and your honors. It's like why I think we're always thinking about sharing it and it we're like trying to brag, but like it really is gonna create like oh maybe people are gonna take a look and be like oh my gosh if she can do it then I can do it too.

Yes. And I think that's my biggest thing. That's a better way to look at it, you know? Like it's like oh well she doesn't even look like she would be on Oprah. She doesn't you know what I mean?

People may be like she doesn't even look like she would be on Oprah. She doesn't look like she would win this wonderful award for her gowns like but you put in the work, you put in the time, you put in the effort, and guess what? You can do this too. So Yes. And that is a big message.

If especially if you look at my social media, it's something I'm constantly saying. I'm like, anytime I get an award or anytime I get an accolade of whatever kind it is and I post it almost, like, at least 90% of the time. There's some little message in there saying, if I can do this, you can't too. Because trust me, I am Oh, see. I am not better than you.

No. No. Not at all. Like, you just kinda put yourself out there and you put in more work and you get accolades. Now I wanna ask you this.

We you've you've already actually given some advice, but what other advice if you give one more advice for teens that are considering entrepreneurship. And, again, they're teens, so that which means they likely haven't run a business before. Yeah. What advice would you would you give them? Yeah.

我認為，有一件事很重要，我覺得很重要，雖然可能有點讓人困惑，但其實不然。但我認為，能夠觀察一個人，觀察一個可能成為導師或仰慕者的人非常重要。你欣賞一個人，只是因為他們的職業道德、成就、身分、在世間行走的方式，然後從中挑選一些小細節，例如，我能接受什麼才能讓我更上一層樓？因為我覺得我從我聽過的人身上學到了很多東西，無論是播客還是奧普拉脫口秀，我都會關注他們如何在世間行走，以及他們是如何走到今天的。很多時候，你無法模仿，但要意識到，你可以學習某些特質，這些特質也能幫助你更上一層樓。並且要始終保持學習的意願。

You know, as long as everything that I do, I learn something new practically every day. And every all the small things I've learned every day have helped me with my entrepreneurial journey. So know that you will never be the smartest person in the room or you shouldn't be the smartest person in the room. I love being around people that are smarter than me because I'm like, please teach me something. You know?

For real. For real. And it's like, yes. Like you don't want to always have to teach other people. It's nice to be taught sometimes.

So just be willing to learn. Just be willing to learn or understand that you're always gonna be growing, and that's the best thing that you can do as an entrepreneur. And that and, you know, you can start entrepreneurship young. Like Yes. If you're willing and you sort of put in the work, start I wish yeah, I wish I would have been Actually 13.

更貼切。對。我是說，我看《創智贏家》之類的節目，裡面有很多年輕人在創業。我當時就覺得，對。要是我有那樣的心態就好了，那真是太棒了。

So, like, put forth the effort and the energy and your belief and time, and something fruitful will come out of it. It may not be instant, but something fruitful will come out of it. I wanna add to that. And I'm talking to the teen audience right now. If you're if you're a teenager and you're considering entrepreneurship and you're like, I don't have any support because there's a that's my that's reality for some out there.

A lot of find your support. I'm a big advocate for people seeking out what they need, and don't wait for it to fall on your lap. Yes. If as a teenager, if you're gonna start a business and you can literally become an entrepreneur at 13, but everybody you look at that starts Yep. Some kind of business at 13 has help.

So you you are gonna need help. The younger you are or the more inexperienced you are Yes. Regardless of age, you're gonna need help. Seek that help out. As as Tamika was saying earlier, observe someone who look at someone who is where you are.

What are they doing? Can you can you shadow them? Can you ask them to mentor you? And if they can't mentor you Mhmm. Stalk them.

Find out what they're doing. Yes. Stalk them. Like, do y'all on Instagram? Like, yes.

Yeah. Yeah. Find out I don't mean literally stop stalk them y'all. So get what I'm saying? Right.

I'm like, no, please. No. Please don't end up in jail and say, I'm doing my shit. You told me. Don't don't do that.

但說真的，一定要關注他們，了解他們在做什麼。如果你能接近他們，從他們那裡獲取更多信息，花點時間和他們相處，那就盡力而為，但一定要確保你得到他們的支持。不要試圖獨自完成所有事情，因為那注定會失敗。嗯，真的，真的。

我們都需要幫助。我們都需要不同類型的幫助，但總是有某種幫助。我喜歡這個對話。我喜歡這個對話，我也是。跟你聊聊創業，以及創業的現實。

當我們真正投入其中時，這是一件非常非常美妙的事情，但你必須先把工作做好。是啊。我的天哪。這有點像是做一頓豐盛的美味佳餚。你一定不想切洋蔥，煮肉，煎這個，烤那個，拌這個，然後秤那個。

But at the end, oh, is it so good? Yes. It's thebomb.com. Okay. I heard that.

Wow. All right. Let me ask you this. Okay. So we're gonna switch gears a little bit and we we know that okay.

您擁有這家公司，並獲得了這麼多讚譽，請您跟我們多講講公司本身。是的。 Tamika Carlton LLC 是我主要提供人際關係指導的地方，既針對戀愛關係，也針對友誼，針對那些即將經歷各種浪漫或柏拉圖式關係的人。此外，我也有夫妻方面的經驗，也就是我之前提到的包容性關係公司。我們和這家公司合作，提供豪華的度假服務。

我們每季都會推出訂閱禮盒，此外我們還有人際關係資源。所以機會無限。我的主要目標是確保我們每個人都擁有高品質的人際關係，無論是戀愛關係還是柏拉圖式的。所以我所做的一切都圍繞著這個主題，兩家公司也都這樣做。我想補充一下Tamika所說的。

你們可別在邀請她上節目之前偷偷跟蹤過她。你看，我保證，一定不會在你家窗外。但她會突然出現在灌木叢後面。我喜歡這種感覺。

But I I I I love she really is good at what she does. So I I'm not just saying that because, she's on my show. If that if I thought she was mediocre, then I wouldn't be saying what I'm saying now, because I'm honest. Well, thank you. So she she's she's really good, and I wanna point out something that she said a minute ago.

When we hear relationship coach, we typically only think about romantic relationships. But the fact of the matter is all of your other relationships are just as important and sometimes even more important. I agree. And if we don't look at how we view relationships, how we handle our relationships of all kind, it it can mess up or build your life. And so it's important to talk to her or someone like her who can actually help you to navigate how you handle your relationships and how to have better ones.

Because your relationships are the key to your failures to success in most ways. Yes. Yes. Preach. Okay.

我什至不用說。你替我說了。嗯，這是事實，我喜歡你說的，不僅僅是戀愛關係，因為我們必須這樣做。這是一種誤稱。你知道，我們只需要在戀愛關係上得到幫助，這是一種誤解。

No some of your friendships are messed up because of the fact that you don't understand yes what you're doing. You don't understand, you know, what you're doing in terms of how Family relationships. Everything. Mhmm. Yes.

是的。我的意思是，我們所做的一切都是基於關係的。我覺得我們所做的一切都是如此。無論我們是顧客、員工、學生或老師。我的意思是，每個人、每一次互動和連結都是基於關係的。

So I'm on a mission to make sure that we are all the best that we can be for ourselves and for all of our relationship types. And we're as human beings, we're built for relationships, whether we like it or not. Yes. Yes. We are literally built for relationships.

That's why we need each other. And so if we don't understand it, we are already disconnected from half of what we need in life. I never put it down before, but that's Yes. It's true. Right?

我的意思是，是的。太好了。那麼，快問快答，人們怎麼找到你？你的網站是什麼？是的。

Couplesexperience.com or tamikacarleton.com. And then, of course, on Instagram, tamika underscore carleton j b p. Alright. Well, it's been awesome talking to you, on and off air. Y'all don't know we had a whole big laugh fest before we even started this.

I love I love talking to this woman. I I I mean, it's been great. Oh, my gosh. It it really has been. And I'm really, hoping we we talk a lot more.

So, thank you again for coming on the show and taking your time, to talk to our teens. And, thanks. Yeah. Thank you for having me. Can't wait to connect again.

現在讓我們換個思路。如果你正在考慮創業，我希望你正在考慮，我希望你能吸收我們今天談到的原則，以及塔米卡今天談到的原則。創業可以是一件非常美好的事情，但你需要兩樣重要的東西：支持和決心。而市面上的支持比人們意識到的要多得多。實際上，獲得支持比維持決心更容易。

But this goes beyond entrepreneurship. Anything you really want to do, learn about it, get the support, be determined, and go for it. I don't care what your past was. Your future can be better. Thank you for listening to mind shift power podcast.

Please like and subscribe to my YouTube channel at the mind shifter. If you have any comments, topic suggestions, or would like to be a guest on the show, please visit FatimaBay.com/podcast. Remember, there's power in shifting your thinking. Tune in for next week.