Welcome to Mindshift Power podcast, a show for teenagers and the adults who work with them, where we have raw and honest conversations. I'm your host, Fatima Bey, the mind shifter. And welcome, everyone. Today, we have with us Andrea Rotondo. She is from South Florida, and she was 16 when she came to The US.

She did become a US citizen at around 29 years old. And here, we're we're gonna talk today about what it's like coming to this country from another language and another culture. And we're gonna hear her story because everybody's story isn't the same. But, we're gonna hear her story. So how are you doing today, Andrea?

嗨，法蒂瑪。非常感謝你今天邀請我。我非常高興能談談這個話題。很好。我也很興奮。

So am I. I've been waiting to have this conversation, actually. So why don't you start off by telling us how you came to The US, where you came from, what were the circumstances? Tell us. That is to me, it's a very interesting story.

I am originally from Ecuador, and all my family is from Ecuador. My grandparents are from Ecuador on both sides. We're just a very Ecuadorian family. And around when I was 16 years old, it felt kind of out of a sudden, which I know that for my parents, it was probably not. But for me, it felt like that out of nowhere.

My parents decided to move to South Florida where I currently live. Because my dad's business, things were changing. The economy in Ecuador was changing, and it just made sense for him to move basically over here. Not only it was financially better for the business, but, obviously, for us since that was our livelihood, that was everything that we used to pay the bills was coming from his business. So it just made sense for him to move here.

而且，因為旅行是他生活中很重要的一部分，所以從我記事起，我爸爸就一直在旅行。我們一起搬家，而不是讓他一個人搬過來，這很合理。我不記得搬家的具體時間了，但我記得搬家過程很快。他們告訴我我們要搬家了。我告訴我的朋友們，你們知道，身為一個16歲的孩子，你會對朋友產生很深的依戀，而不是對其他人。

So I was really heartbroken until my friends, moved here. I believe I got here, like, on a Wednesday. The following Monday, I was already in school, so it felt very fast. Was it overwhelming? It was very overwhelming.

我覺得那段時間的記憶很孤獨，因為我不太想在這裡交朋友。我記得我告訴自己，我不需要更多朋友了，因為我已經有厄瓜多爾的朋友了。好吧。那時候，我們好像都在用 Messenger。所以，我每天都會用 Messenger 和朋友聊天。

我就像在等著看到那些簽到的人，跟他們聊聊，看看他們的照片或什麼的。感覺我還沒準備好放棄我在厄瓜多爾的生活，用「引號」來形容。我不想繼續前進。我不想看看周遭的一切，甚至不想融入這裡的文化，了解其他文化。我只是對厄瓜多爾的生活很執著，不想和任何人或任何事做任何事。

所以那段時間大概持續了我在這裡讀高中的一年半。在厄瓜多爾，我讀完高中應該是十年級。由於我在那邊想上學的時間和這裡開學的時間不一樣，所以搬到這裡後，我直接讀了十一年級的一半。所以我讀完了十一年級，然後又讀了十二年級。那段時間我的心態可能跟現在一樣。

那麼，你當時交了多少朋友呢？還是說你只是暫時不交？具體到高中的時候。應該沒幾個。我記得我們當時大概只有一小群女生，都是我英文課上的。不過說實話，我並沒有付出太多努力。

So after we graduated, I didn't really stay in touch with anybody else from them. Okay. So you didn't make new friends. You you didn't want to because you were kinda just missing. You can correct me if I'm I mean, I did friends to the point, like, I was not hanging out alone, for example, walking around.

I was always with somebody. So there was always a group around me, but it was more of an internal thing rather than external. Like I said, so I wasn't walking alone. I had at least one person that I could talk to in every classroom and during lunch and all of that. But internal like, it was not like, okay.

You know, I'm in a new place. I'm gonna make friends. I'm wondering where they're from. It was just more like, okay. Like, you're talking to me, and I'm gonna talk to you, and we would hang out.

Sometimes we met after school, but it wasn't something that in my mind, I was like, okay. This is my new friend, and I will probably see you after we graduate. I wasn't that vested in the relationship. And it's kind of sad to say that now, and I wish that I would have made more effort into it because they were great people. They were amazing, they were amazing friends, but I I did not see it at that point.

I didn't see it that way at that point. Now you said, ESL classes, and, some listeners might not know what that is and this English is a second language. They keep changing the verbiage. If you go from from state to state, it's called all kinds of different names. I used to teach ESL myself, and that's what it was called when I did it.

But, so these are all if you're in an ESL class, it means you're in a community of students who are all from different countries, coming into Yes. Coming into, I just you and I know that, but I think the audience needs to understand that as well. When it came to when it came to outside of school, were you only at home? Did you try hanging out and doing other things, or you try to just stick to yourself? I was lucky in the sense that I moved here, and I lived with my sister who is much older than me.

She had kids of her own. So I moved to my sister's, home, and I was never alone, and there was never a lack of Okay. Duties, first of all, because of family. I was very lucky, like I said, to move with family in a very healthy and loving environment. And then when it comes to friends, I had one or two friends that I can remember that I would hang out.

Like, we would go to the movie theater. I've never really been into, like, going to parties or going drinking, and I've I've never been that type even now. So I never really did that kind of activities, but movie theater was probably one of the ones that it was a normal thing to do. How scary was it coming to a brand new culture that you just had only heard about? I think, at first, I don't think that it was scary in the sense of, like like, fear of where I am.

害怕被孤立。無論我放眼何處，總有新鮮事物，一些我從未見過、從未經歷過的事物。我來自厄瓜多爾，很幸運能就讀一所非常好的學校。我從二年級開始就一直都是朋友。我甚至有一些朋友，我們甚至從幼兒園開始就一直在一起，或者說，我們就是那種關係。

哇哦。這麼說吧，我認識周遭的每個人。我認識他們的家人。我的老師也認識我。我們一直都是同一位老師。

I could walk into the principal's office. I mean, it it was a very it was a very homey place. Then suddenly, I'm in a classroom or in a school that was, like, 5,000 people or 3,000 people. I don't even remember, but it was just an insane amount of people compared to where I had come from. It felt unknown, and the unknown made me very uncomfortable.

It made me feel like like I was alone. It made me feel like I was lost. Like, I didn't know where to go. I just got a piece of paper telling me, okay. These are your classrooms, and these are the buildings that they're in or classrooms.

And I'm like, where? You know? Like, I don't know where this is. I don't know who to ask. It felt like there was no guidance.

It felt like like you should know this, but then you don't know it, and then you feel bad for asking. And then the whole mentality of, well, we're here to help you. We're here so that you can have a better future. We are here because this makes sense for our family. So you also don't wanna be ungrateful.

So in a way, that kinda makes you not even pay attention or speak or even consider your emotions because it might come off as ungrateful or complaining about you being here when you know that there's way other people are making big sacrifices for that. Like, my family, like, I think about it now, me as a family with little kids. Do I wanna have another person in my home? That's a lot of effort. You know?

So everybody around me was making a lot of sacrifices, and I didn't wanna be the one to just say, well, this sucks. Mhmm. So I didn't. Do you feel like people outside of your family and outside of the ESL classes treated you any different? I don't know that I knew that at that point.

我覺得搬到這裡的時候，我有點期待，嗯，你知道，你是個新人，但那時我還沒有意識到人們對移民的看法。我不知道人們會用不同的眼光看你。我不知道人們會認為你不屬於這裡，所以你應該離開。我不知道人們會把你看得比我低，我對此一無所知。我不知道高中會發生暴力事件，也不知道霸凌和槍枝暴力的極端現象。

I did not know any of that. So I think a lot of the things that happened, if they happened around me, I was oblivious to it. Like, it just happened, and I didn't see what it really was going on. But I think now that I am aware and I understand looking back, I do think that people looked at me differently, or maybe they made assumptions, because I was an immigrant, then it was a given that I didn't know English or that I didn't have any education or that my parents were poor or uneducated. So there's usually that concept of, like, first gen that the people my age now are the first people that go to school or, have a better salary.

而我的情況並非如此。我媽媽在厄瓜多爾當律師，爸爸是個非常成功的企業主，但或許還有更多事情比我目前所知的更複雜，最後我們來到了這裡。我們之間確實存在某種隔閡。我當時真的不明白，為什麼人們會在不了解我的情況下，對我產生偏見、給我貼標籤，或是妄加揣測。

And like I said, at that point, I didn't know that that was just the norm. Like, you just assume those things of an immigrant because and not saying that any of those circumstances make you a bad person or make you less than or that I am better than anybody else, but I I didn't know again at that point that being an immigrant equated to so many other circumstances. Now let's talk about the language. So in Ecuador, they speak Spanish. And, and here, the main, you know, language is English.

所以你不僅被拋入新的文化，與不同心態的人相處，還被拋入新的語言。能跟我們講講這方面的情況嗎？是的。在厄瓜多爾，我懂英語，因為在厄瓜多爾，我很小就開始學習英語了。例如，從一年級開始，例如學前班、幼兒園，不管是什麼。

In my school, they taught English, so I had, like, different subjects and classes and whatnot in English. And even in high school, I took, like, two or three years of French, so I had Spanish and learned French. So I knew the foundation, but it's very, very different when you have an American or English speaker teaching you English than when you have a very Ecuadorian person teaching you English. It just sounds so different. And it's so funny because, like, if I were to watch a video, recently a friend sent me a video from when we were, like, in, I don't know, fifth grade, and we were singing a a a, like, a Christmas carol for a Christmas event in English.

我當時就想，我們到底在唱什麼？聽起來完全像是另一種語言。真是太搞笑了。不過，正因如此，我的英文程度才真的非常好，雖然帶著濃重的口音說話，但我的閱讀和寫作能力也非常出色。所以，當我搬到這裡，他們把我安排在ASOL班的時候，那對我來說其實是一門超簡單的課。

我知道我寫寫讀讀都沒問題。在我正常的年級，我什麼都能讀能寫。但是，當我去上其他課的時候，我很難聽懂，因為我的聽力需要調整到美式英語程度。這讓學習變得更有挑戰性，尤其是數學，因為我沒有用英語學過數學。我用英語學過歷史和其他東西，但沒有學過數學。

So that was probably the biggest challenge that I had in school. And then just the slang or, like, things that high schoolers would say. I was always lost Up until now, like, I don't know, like, the buzz terms and all I just don't pay attention to that. So in high school, I had to learn, like, a whole new vocabulary for slang. But when it came to, like, the daily life, I was definitely able to navigate things.

And if I had to read something, probably anybody that is an immigrant can identify with what I'm gonna say next. Like, you become the translator for your family. Up until now, my parents call me or send me screenshots or they were somewhere. I'm the one. Or at that point, we would go out to a restaurant.

I was the one to order for everybody. Like, you just become the default translator for the family. And that's quite common. So that that was quite common. Yeah.

Because I've seen it happens everywhere. I've seen it too. Like, for legal documents, for taxes, you're the one doing all of these really intricate and complicated things, and your parents just, hey. You know? You got this.

你可以做到。我想，我會盡力的。希望我沒看錯。不過，是的。我說很常見，因為我親眼見過。

Not because I'm, you know, not because I came from another country, but I have worked with people from other countries, refugees, a number of people from many different countries all over the world, throughout my life in different capacities. And that is something I've commonly seen, is they'll put the the the responsibility on the child usually who's being raised in America to translate everything, because they they don't get it. And I think people don't understand. And and I'm saying this as a former ESL teacher and I used to tutor and teach it. I think people don't understand, how difficult it can be.

好消息是你上過英語課，所以你掌握了閱讀和寫作技能。這和我們這些在學校學習西班牙語、法語、德語或其他語言的人沒什麼不同。我們中的一些人雖然讀寫能力很強，但說起來卻很吃力，因為你知道，無論用什麼語言，你都必須用到它。但我認為人們並沒有真正理解這種情況發生的頻率，以及這會如何改變各種情況和家庭的動態。明白嗎？

For sure. It it can be a big deal. It's like the younger generation is expected in a way unconsciously to carry the family forward, kind of like assuming that because you are here from a younger age, you kinda, like, automatically know all of these things and know what the IRS is expecting from you or your renter or your landlord or anything. It's like, well, you know, you should know. You're in school, and it's not the case.

你知道，我們小時候就來到這裡，對這裡的製度一無所知。但至少我們會讀會寫，所以我們可以翻譯。但我認為至少就這一點而言，我認為，只要有可能，還是應該諮詢律師或會計師，讓他們指導你處理這類溝通事宜。如果你收到一封看起來像是法律文件或會計師的信件，如果是與國稅局（IRS）相關的文件，你絕對不能只依賴青少年或孩子的翻譯。我知道這麼說可能有點傻，但這種情況確實會發生在99%的家庭中。

It does. There's so many guys out there that can help you guide guide you with that. It's a very, very common pack. Like, literally translations from, like, what does the TV control remote say or the computer to Yeah. Legal matters with immigration.

你知道嗎？所以，給孩子壓力確實很大。因為如果他們搞砸了一件小事，就會對整個家庭產生非常深遠的影響。所以我想說，而且我這麼說並非基於我的經驗。

我沒有遇到這種情況，但我完全明白，如果碰巧翻譯錯了，把這種經歷和期望放在一起，真的會傷害到別人。絕對正確。理解正確。這有點像是這部分對話的旁白，但我覺得有必要提一下，不是為了你，而是為了聽眾。我認為人們並不理解學習另一門語言有多難。

And English is actually one of the hardest language on the entire planet. It's up there with Russian and Mandarin. We're very, very difficult language to learn. So if you don't know it, it's already hard. But the older we get, the harder it is to learn a new language.

That's just a human thing. I don't care where you're from. And so I think one of the reasons why many of the adult immigrants will rely on their children or their nieces and nephews or whoever to that's being raised in America to translate is because it is an extreme challenge to become fluent in the new language when you are already over 40. You know, you've been speaking Farsi, Spanish, whatever the language is your entire life, and then, suddenly have to to learn this new language. And, you know, the the longer we're used to a pattern, this is just a human thing and not just with languages, but the longer we're used to a pattern, the harder it is to break it.

正因為如此，隨著年齡的增長，學習新語言變得越來越困難。我見過這種情況，我是一名英語作為第二語言（ESL）的老師，我理解他們為什麼這麼做。我覺得身為一個孩子，處境很艱難，因為你，他們是你的父母。你想幫忙，你真的想。但壓力很大，你真的不知道該怎麼說，看，你也可以學會。

You know? But, anyway, let's fast forward to when you became a citizen. Tell us, you came here at 16, but you didn't become a citizen till you're 29. Right. Yeah.

這段期間發生了很多事。所以我又來到這裡，和姐姐住了一段時間。多虧了她，我父母的證件，他們才拿到了綠卡。速度快得驚人。大概六個月內，他們就擁有了一切。

不知什麼原因，我的文件一拖再拖，我們什麼都沒拿到。什麼都沒拿到。當時我還在讀高中。我讀完了高中。我不知道是在什麼時候，哪一年，但我記得，在某個時候，我們找不到我爸爸了。我記得，他帶我去找了一位移民律師，他喜歡聽廣播，典型的老爸，每天早上、下午和晚上都看新聞。

So he knew, like, oh, I know this attorney. She's on the news. We have to go to her office. So we went to her, and I remember I don't remember her face. I don't remember the space.

I just remember the words she said in Spanish. Which means, like, you can be deported at any point. And it just took us by surprise. Like, what? Like You did everything legally when you got here.

My paperwork. Like, we we got we got here legally. My parents have their paperwork. Like, everything is ready. They have their green card.

They're on their way to getting their citizenship. I have not broken the law. I'm doing everything right. Here are all my forms. We paid for everything what's going on.

所以她解釋說，你知道，這是一個漫長的過程，基本上就是說「不」。就像，你做錯了。再說一遍，是誰的錯？我不知道。我不是來責怪任何人的。

但關鍵在於，說實話，我當時完全沒有合法證件，完全沒有意識到自己在這裡。這讓我立刻產生了一種感覺，好吧，現在我得躲起來了。現在我得隱身了。我不能，你懂的，我當然不想有意識地違法，但潛意識裡，你知道，我不想弄出什麼大動靜。我不想被人看到和不該見的人在一起，也不想在不該發生的時間出現在不該發生的地方。

So I was very, very, very careful, to what in my mind my goal was to be invisible. Mhmm. So So, for example, one of the typical things that a teenager would do, at that point, I was, I don't know, 18, 19. I don't remember exactly. But, is learning to drive and getting your license.

I did not do any of those things because we were scared that for some reason, police officer would stop me while I was learning how to drive. In Ecuador, you don't get your license up until you're sick 18. No. So I didn't learn how to drive in Ecuador. So moving here, you know, that was just part of one of the things that I was gonna do.

I didn't. I didn't even dare to try and learn because, again, of fear of getting, quote, unquote, caught. Even though, technically, the police officers are not the ones that are going to deport you, but, you know, there's there's always the fear. I remember at that point, there were different, at that I remember the word was redadas, like, police officers were, like, just randomly stop cars to, like, see DIY DUI things. And I was always like, oh my god.

例如，我不想跟一個因為某些原因最終會收到罰單之類的人一起坐車。所以我非常謹慎地選擇要載誰上車，因為我自己沒有車。我不會開車。我幾乎到處都得搭車。所以這真的讓我很受阻。

One of the the things that I think was hardest for me to let go because of that was going to school. While I was in high school, I applied for different scholarships, and I received different scholarships because of my grades. However, because I was undocumented, I was considered out of state. I had to pay an out of state fee for either Oh, really? College like, state universities or the community college, it was an out of state fee, and I couldn't, receive any of the funding that I had gained.

所以我只好自掏腰包。我一直非常注重學術，要去一所我當時認為不錯的大學，放棄學術對我來說非常困難。所以我去了社區大學，我得自掏腰包。我記得那時我大概18歲，大概是2008年2月。我每上一門課都要付一千美元。

所以我一直在努力存錢，努力存錢，這樣我就能支付每學期一門課的費用，只上一門課。時間一晃，我已經記不清是哪幾年了。我記不清時間線了。我只記得，那些時刻和里程碑，在我的腦海裡。而且，基本上，我拿到論文的方式甚至與我們最初採用的流程都不一樣。

Like, when I first moved here, it was because my husband was a citizen. So we got married, and we started a whole new process, with, you know, the the government immigration. I don't even know how much money that cost it. I don't remember. We had an attorney this time making sure that I was doing everything completely to the t.

我們面試了，什麼都做了，然後我拿到文件了。大概是五年後吧。我不記得具體時間了，大概是三年後吧。我也不知道。但我終於拿到公民身分了。

I remember we were in California at that point. My daughter was with us already. It was what felt so long. And, ironically, after probably a year after I had gotten my citizenship, we finally got a letter from that original, form, I think it's called the I one thirty, saying like, hey. Now you can submit the next batch of paperwork to the migration.

多少年後？我想。幾年後。十五年？是的。

是啊。這有點瘋狂。這麼多年過去了。我當時就想，你們的名單上還有我？哇哦。

I I think I would have rather know, like, was just lost, but it was just crazy that we have a system that works like that. That's what I think. That years later, they could be so clueless. Yeah. I don't really right.

對。例如，我已經是公民了，你仍然擁有我。我不知道這怎麼回事，我從來沒有說過。你知道，我沒有就那件事進一步聯繫他們。但我知道很多事情都改變了，移民法也一直在改變。

They do. I remember at that point, it was like, well, things are delayed. Or sometimes it was like, oh, now they're, like, push like, they're getting through the cases faster. And then again, oh, it's delayed again. I don't know if it was because I was very young or because I was fearful or because I chose unconsciously to not care.

But I did the things that I needed to do, and after that, I didn't look into it. I I was very anxious, and I was very fearful, but I was not look like, watching the news, asking my attorney, following up. I was not I was not doing Did any of this a lot of pictures that I did not know. Say it again. There was a lot of moving parts that I couldn't really pay attention to.

Did any of this play a part in you getting married? Were you already gonna do it anyway? My I was gonna do it anyways. Yeah. I I interestingly, though, I did have somebody that it was this person that we knew she was a a professional service provider.

And I remember her telling me, hey, you can get married with my son if you want to, you know, for papers. And that was probably the first time that I heard that that's A thing? A common practice. Oh. Yeah.

Okay. And I was like, I don't even know your son. What do you want me to get married? Like, are you looking to, you know, like, you want grandbabies? Like, why are you saying that?

然後我意識到這意味著什麼。再說一次，這裡發生了很多事情，尤其是作為一個移民，你真的不知道這些做法很常見，直到你成為移民，你來到這裡，或者有人透過播客告訴你。但發生了這麼多事，我當時就想，不。謝謝。然後，另一個人告訴我，好吧，你可以假裝有人在你的國家追你。

And Asylum. It's so easy to, like, write, to, like, put something on the newspaper over there that you're you were assaulted or something like that, and then you bring that as proof. And then that way you can seek for asylum. And I was like, I'm not going to do that. Like, I know that every case is different.

And and for some people, that would probably make sense. I definitely don't condone or say, hey. Go do legal activities Right. To get your papers. But I think that in my case, I feel very lucky that I did not have to do that.

I do remember vaguely, and I say vaguely because I really don't remember details. It's probably my own mind, like, shielding me from memories. But I remember vaguely at some point, I was considering going to Canada and moving there permanently. I don't remember again details of why and how or what, but I remember I had a couple of friends that that moved from here to Canada. So I was like, maybe that's gonna be the way because, you know, you grow older, you're not in high school anymore.

你沒有免費午餐，也沒有減價午餐。你沒有計劃。現在你已經成年了。你必須想清楚下一步該做什麼。你要成為職業球員。

Where are you gonna work? You're gonna buy a home. You're gonna buy a car. Like, all of these big adult questions that continue to pile up as you grow that I was looking for solutions. Like, I just knew that I could not stay undocumented forever.

And, thankfully, it just so happened. I think I don't think it's coincidence. The person that I was gonna marry was a citizen already. Mhmm. So it was like, oh, this is great.

Yeah. Let's do it. Well, I think that's, I think that's interesting. It's something that when you told when we had the conversation before this recording, you know, something that you you told me that really stuck out to me because it's it's just the fact that you thought you did you you you and your parents both thought you did everything right. You you got your papers.

You you came here legally. You thought everything was fine only to find out you fell through some sort of loophole. You know, there was some kind of whatever that something wasn't filed properly and all the, you know, piles and piles and, you know, millions of miles deep of paperwork that we like to do in this country, for every little thing, you know, somewhere you miss something. And, and then that puts you in a situation where now you're it it's altering the way you live your life because now you feel like you have to hide. So now you're not living up to your full potential.

你沒有按照自己真正想要的方式去追求。你選擇了一種你認為能最好地保護你的方式，而不是最適合你的方式去上大學。你知道，所以我認為這些事情人們都習以為常，當你要在這個國家生活時，他們根本不會去想這些。我們今天只談你的故事。我知道有些人的故事比這更糟糕，但我只是覺得，在很多事情上，尤其是在移民問題上，我們不應該那麼非黑即白地看待問題，因為我知道的太多了，以至於我無法相信非黑即白的思維方式是有效、高效或正確的。

You know what I mean? And and just looking at your situation, that's something that really stood out to me is just the fact that you thought you did everything right. And lo and behold, now you find yourself hiding. You know? And I'm glad that you were able to become a citizen, you know, and the marriage was legit.

I already knew the marriage was was legit, but I needed you to say that for the audience because I know how people think. You know, take what you said and run with it. Like, She just married somebody, so she can become but it it, you know, it it, you know, it and that I needed you to say that that wasn't the case. But I'm glad that you were able to be in this country. So or become a citizen rather.

And, tell us for people that are coming into this country now and they're coming in from, let's say, Ecuador, because you can't speak to other countries because you're not from there. So let's say Ecuador. They're coming here from Ecuador and, you know, they're they they're coming here legally or they're just or or even if they're not coming here legally, they're still coming here and dealing with a new culture, and a new language, in a new setting. What would you say to to them? I think that I think there's something important to point out and is that we all have different starting points, not necessarily making you better or worse than anybody else.

It's just understanding where you are before coming and just being mindful of that and maybe taking some time to, like, do, like, a mental assessment where I am, who I am, and maybe periodically remember that because I've seen time and time again that moving here and in a way starting from scratch, which is the most typical situation for everybody, you're starting from scratch, it kinda you have, like, a mourning period. Like, you're grieving who you were before. That's right. Mhmm. And it doesn't you're not consciously thinking of that.

You don't consciously know it at that, like, that perspective over through that perspective. You just feel like like you're not you, but you are you, but but you're not. So it's this constant confusion of, I don't know who I am anymore. What should I do? And you look back and you like, even until now, whenever I think of Ecuador, I have not been back since I moved here.

The memories of places that I have of people that I met or that I knew over there are how I left them. Right. Like, they don't evolve in my mind how they evolve in real life. And your memory of yourself stays, you know, the same because you're not growing in that place. You're growing here.

So it's very, very hard to let go of that. And I don't think necessarily you have to let go, but just understanding that you are evolving, that you are adjusting to a new place. And it's okay to feel the way that how heavy that is to feel down, to feel sad, to feel heartbroken, to feel kind of like, again, that grieving process, how you're letting go of some, a loved one. It's kind of similar to that. I think that when you see it through that perspective, it kinda helps you understand your feelings a little more, and it could also potentially help you see the the the light at the end of the tunnel.

Like, I'm not alone. Even though you feel like you're extremely, utterly alone, maybe you can give yourself a little bit of hope that, oh, okay. Like, this is how it feels. Like, the process or the way that I'm feeling is common for people going through my experience. I think that that give brings a little bit of hope.

所以我想說，這完全正常。我認為這就是現實，也是移民生活中最難放下的事情之一，或者說，放下你以前的自己。嗯。尤其是如果你十幾歲的時候就來到這裡，你可能會知道，你父母的朋友圈裡都是和他們有類似經驗的人。對。

Whether it's people from the same country or somehow there's gonna be a commonality there, you're going to hear, oh, you know, in my country, I was a doctor. In my country, I was a dentist. In my country, I was an attorney. In my country, I was this and this and this and this and that. And what they're doing here is starting from scratch.

Yeah. Yeah. Starting like, it literally it makes me wanna cry. Yeah. It's it's so hard for them to let go of who they were.

And I don't wanna say that it was for nothing, but understanding where they are and even for them too. I know that it sounds kind of, pointless, but I think seeking help if possible. I know therapy is really not a thing in our country. Right. Mental health is really not a thing in our countries.

Mhmm. But especially for the younger generation, if you're listening to this, be the one to break that cycle. Yes. Be the one to break the cycle of of keeping mental health secret or keeping mental health as a taboo that it is and speak up and either you'll be the one to seek help. There are more and more therapists that are even specializing in immigration that can help you, because it's not easy.

僅僅因為換了個地方就放棄自己並不容易。這真的很難，而且真的會對你造成很大的傷害。但我也會說，值得慶幸的是，隧道的盡頭有很多東西，有成千上萬的人在你之前做到了這一點，有人為你開闢了道路，即使只是一點點，也能讓你輕鬆一些。社群媒體提供了更多資源，你可以輕鬆地獲取資訊。

你不必永遠困在同一個支離破碎的地方。你不必像你的父母或上一代人一樣停留在同一個起點，或者如果你是第一批來到這裡的人，你可以採取同樣的步驟，但如果你花時間學習和接受教育，進步的速度可能會更快。因為我常聽到的問題就是，哦，這個體制，這個體制，這個體制。我不認為我們會改變這個體制，但我認為我們可以學習它，我們可以學習如何駕馭它，如何利用機會，如何利用我們能利用的一切，這樣我們就不會停滯不前，而是可以繼續前進。我可以坦誠地告訴你，我認為我還在追趕，尤其是在學習金融體系方面。

I'm still catching up. My parents came here when they were in their fifties Oh, wow. Wow. They're they're not gonna go much further, you know, when it comes to four zero one k's and all of these, like, really technical things, but I can do that for myself. And I'm still learning, and I'm still and I'm making moves.

And I have two choices, either learn and make moves so that I can move a little bit forward and move a little bit forward so I'm not so far behind, or I can choose to say, well, I don't know this and my parents didn't do it. So now I'm in the same place as they are. I don't want that. I don't want it for myself, and I don't want it for my kids. Mhmm.

So there is hope, definitely. There's there's there's there's a lot of hope and, but it also starts it starts with you. And with that, I have nothing else to say because you ended that so beautifully. Andrea, thank you so, so, so much for coming on and, and telling us your story and sharing that with us. I'm really grateful that you did, and I hope that I know that there are some listening who heard what you said and related to some of it.

希望我們能改變他們周圍一些人的想法，讓我們能夠比我們美國人有時更富有同情心和理解力。再次非常非常感謝你的到來。謝謝你，法蒂瑪，謝謝你邀請我，謝謝你讓我流下意外的眼淚。感謝你抽出時間。現在，讓我們進入一個轉變思維的時刻。

Today, we heard Andrea's story. Her story is uniquely her story. It's her experience. However, there are parts of her story that are quite common. I think it's very important that we take the time to listen and try to understand other people's experiences.

Can I tell you something? It actually will make you a better balanced person if you listen to people who are not just like you. And the next time you look at someone who is from a foreign country, a different country, and they have an accent, regardless of how they got here and regardless of how long they've been here. The next time you hear someone with an accent, I want you to think a little differently. Instead of wishing they had a better American accent or any similar thinking, I want you to think, what could I learn from them?

Thank you for listening to Mindshift Power Podcast. Please like and subscribe to my YouTube channel at the mind shifter. If you have any comments, topic suggestions, or would like to be a guest on the show, please visit FatimaBay.com/podcast. Remember, there's power in shifting your thinking. Tune in for next week.