歡迎收聽《思維轉換力量播客》（Mindshift Power Podcast），這是一個面向青少年及其相關成年人的節目，我們將在這裡進行坦誠而直接的對話。我是主持人法蒂瑪·貝（Fatima Bey），思維轉換專家。歡迎大家！今天我們邀請了來自德州休士頓的香緹雷夫吉（Shanti Refuge）。

She's a mental health coach and an author. Now if you recall, you have heard her on here before, and she's back again. This woman is full of a whole lot of things to talk about, and so we're we're gonna talk about modeling relationships, in in our homes and such a big topic. I'm having this episode today because I truly believe at least, and I think that this is a conservative number, at least 80% of you are affected by this topic. And some of you don't even recognize it.

今天過後，你們或許會意識到這一點。有些人或許會意識到自己發生了什麼，而其他人也會意識到你們正在做的事情，並希望做出一些積極的改變。那麼，Shanti，你今天過得怎麼樣呢？我很好。你呢？

Good. Good. So I like to dive right in as you know. Tell us, what did you see in your household concerning relationships growing up? I saw my mom at through a span of my childhood, I saw her with different men.

So there was no steady relationship. And the ones that lasted a little longer than a few months, those were the ones where she was being domestically abused. Okay. So you you got to watch domestic abuse happen and instability. Right.

I'm just giving them, principal names. Mhmm. So how do you think that affected your life? I grew up saying I will never get married. If this is what marriage is, I don't want it.

我以前總是這麼說。我從來沒想過要結婚。她跟他們中的任何一個結婚嗎？她嫁給了，嗯，她嫁給了我爸爸，但他們在我兩歲的時候離婚了。所以，我當然不記得了。

Right. But her, second marriage, she was she was her second marriage, she, that's the one who abused her. And then they got a divorce eventually. And then her third marriage, she I think she married him when I was, like, 19, 18, 19. And it wasn't a good marriage either.

So, yeah, it turned me completely off on marriage. So what made them not good marriages? Well, well, the second one, because he beat our ass. Like Well, yeah. That's not what marriage is about.

第三個呢？第三個，他不暴力，但他不好。整晚出去，待在外面，別回來。我聽到她尖叫和哭泣。你去哪裡了？

You know, trying to whisper, but, you know, we can hear you. This is a little house. Right. And he had he did not try to make establish any relationship with, me and my my, little sister. Okay.

But when they had their child, my baby sister, it was you know? Of course, it was all about her because that was his only girl. But, essentially, we got treated like shit. Oh, let's do that. So what I'm hearing what I'm drawing out from what you're saying Uh-huh.

Is there was a lack of respect when it comes to relationships and what was modeled before you. You saw your mother being disrespected first physically and then otherwise. Just basically disrespected. Right. But staying in a relationship where she wasn't respected.

對。你看得出來，你知道，那些父親形像根本不關心你。嗯。嗯，尤其是最後一個。現在說另一個，像我二姐的爸爸，他很棒。

I used to tell people he was my dad, but my mom never married him. Okay. Okay. So, the only from from what I understand, the issue they had was that he was not stable financially. Oh, okay.

就這樣吧。是啊。財務問題很重要。抱歉。但他對我們很好。

Okay. So you did have one example of of a father figure treating you correctly. Mhmm. Okay. Well, that's good.

現在我們來談談我們所理解的缺乏尊重。這是你從小學到的，也是可以接受的。嗯。經常更換伴侶，這也是你從小學到的，也是可以接受的。是的。

She used to move these people in, and I'm like, who is this? It was no, like, hey. This is my boyfriend, Joe. Nothing like that. Okay.

所以也有很大脫節。是啊。她才剛動身呢。然後，嗯嗯。他來了。

是啊。哦，哇。哇。可惜，她不是唯一一個。現在聽到的人可能都會說，是啊，我認識這樣的人，或者說，那個人就是我。

You know, there's there's that's reality for a lot of people, not just you, and that's why we're talking about it. Yeah. Tell us, how do you feel growing up and seeing that affected your life? It made me not wanna go home. That's why I was always somewhere else.

I was at my grandmother's house. You know, my grandmother and grandfather, they were together until the end. So but their relationship wasn't, you know, perfect, you know, what we cons we would consider perfect. But, you know, I would always wanna go to my grandmother house just to because they didn't argue. They didn't fight.

My grandmother was very passive. But, you know, it's like, I just knew I didn't wanna be married. I am I I used to say, oh, I would never get married. Because of all the bad examples that you set yourself. I ain't I didn't wanna put be a part of any of that.

So what made your grandparents', relationship unhealthy, you think? Well, from what I was told from what I was told, my grandfather used to mess around. Okay. And my grandmother, she told me this, and she said I told him, you know, I'm tired of this. And if you do it again, if I catch you doing it again, I'm leaving.

然後他就停了下來。好的。但是現在你不能跟別人這麼說了。那樣只會讓他們更想這麼做。所以，是的。

It depends on who you're talking to. Yeah. But it depends who you're talking to. So you didn't really have truly healthy relationships model before No. And it made you say, I am never gonna get married.

Do you feel like this affected your commitment in relationships? Absolutely. Yes. How? I cheated in all of my relationships.

And then when I finally decided to get serious in my, relationship, she ended up cheating on me. We talked about that in the last episode. Mhmm. Yeah. So what's modeled before us?

What I'm hearing is that what's modeled before us does affect us. And there and and talking to the audience right now, I want you to think about what was modeled before you, good or bad, regardless of who's in your household because maybe you didn't go over with your parents, maybe you didn't go over with your grandparents, maybe you were up with a single mother, whatever your situation was because we're all a little different. What was modeled before you, and how do you think that affected you? Because I promise you, if you examine it, you're gonna see some things you never saw before. Right.

這真的很重要。所以我想問你一個問題。你知道，我們現在只是在推測，但如果在你面前樹立了健康的關係榜樣，情況會有什麼不同？或者你認為會有什麼不同？這會改變我對婚姻的看法。你明白嗎？

Because when you're a little girl, back in my time, I grew up in the late seventies, eighties. So it was, you know, find you a husband, get married, have kids, live happily ever after. That's not real. Right. Yeah.

But, I mean, I think my perspective on relationships and marriage would have been different if I would have seen my mother. And it didn't even have to be my dad, but somebody, that one person for a long time and actually being a married couple, whatever married couples did back then. Mhmm. You know, I didn't see love, and I grew up in a household where I wasn't told I love you or got hugs. We weren't affectionate.

我們沒說過這樣的話。但我記得有一次，我媽媽的一個男朋友來我家，我聽到她說我正要去我的房間，然後她告訴他她愛他，這讓我愣住了。我說，你沒告訴我你愛我。她試著為自己辯解，說，嗯，那是另一種愛。我說，你還是沒告訴我你愛我。

And it's like she couldn't say shit. Yeah. Because she didn't. She never told us that. And then when we don't tell children that we love them, it does affect them even if Yeah.

即使他們周圍的人都這麼說。嗯。我們是生兒育女的人。是的。你知道，無論是母親或父親，我們仍然是父母。

We're their when your parents will tell you that they love you, even if everybody else does, it hurts and it matters. And it says that I'm not that important. I'm not that valued. And even though you may never say those words with your mouth, you say them when you say them within action if you don't say the words I love you. And sometimes people grow up in households where they don't say I love you, so for them it's weird and hard and strange.

But I feel but to you, that where that's the case, if I'm if that's you, your children are worth the effort. Your children are worth your discomfort, and go ahead and say it even if it feels weird. After a while, it won't. Be the change maker instead of continuing on the same crap that you grew up with. Mhmm.

你知道，這只是個小插曲，因為我覺得這很重要。對我來說，我恰恰相反。在我們成長的過程中，如果我們睡前沒有親一下媽媽，說聲“我愛你”，那就是個問題。我們完全相反。你知道，在我成長的家庭裡，我以為美國每個人都會互相說「我愛你」。

That was just normal. You know, I've since learned that there's a lot of people where that wasn't the the the norm for them, but it matters. It really matters. And it matters in big ways that we don't see because it's an undercurrent that affects the big wave that eventually comes when we don't do it. I just had to add that in there.

So you feel like, if you had had healthy relationship model before you, you'd feel different about marriage, and you'd be more serious about commitment. That's it. Well, that's where you were because you've since made some a lot of personal changes. So Uh-huh. That's where you were, and that's not where you are now.

And and we're gonna talk about that in a minute. But where you were before recently was, you know, really growing up in early adulthood was, I ain't committing to nobody because that don't work. Yeah. And that's what you saw before you. Yeah.

無論你是什麼種族，這都是事實。各種族、各種民族、各種膚色、各種經濟狀況、各種社會地位等等，不一而足。你會發現，很多人都經歷過各種糟糕的經驗。有些人的父母不溝通，彼此之間也不真正相愛。有些人只是保持著一段認真的感情，有了錢，生了孩子，一切就此結束。

And Yeah. That's an unhealthy environment as well. Okay. So that's a really unhealthy environment. And and I'll, you know, I'll I'll add this too.

I will say that for for me, my parents were, they got divorced when I was, like, eight. So, you know, I was born into the standard American family. They, you know, met in college, they got married, bought a house, had a beautiful baby girl, which was me. Yes. So, you know, and they had children, etcetera.

And then by the time I was eight, they they were divorcing. The good thing I will say about my mother growing up was the opposite of some of what you were saying. There there was she didn't just bring men home every, you know, all willy nilly. And my mother was absolutely gorgeous, she was a model, and there was men after her all the time, but she was never one to respond that much to them. She just wasn't, she didn't put herself out there like that.

That. So she just didn't bring home random men, you know, and if she did bring someone home, they were in a relationship for a long time or the rest of her life. She's now married to an absolutely wonderful man, my stepfather. But I'm grateful that I did not have, there's a lot of things that were missing, but the things that weren't there is I didn't have a a mother who brought home men out willy nilly. And I'm I'm grateful for that.

And I'm not, and I'm not saying that to for you those of you listening, I'm not saying that to put anybody down. But I'm saying that there's I'm drawing the contrast between the two of us because we grew up with very different households. And even though it wasn't as bad in some areas, some of what I grew up with, she probably didn't. You know? So we all have different details.

We all have different details and they're all in different levels. For you listening, you have to decide what bits and pieces go with you, what bits and pieces are have influenced you. Because some of that might help you figure out how to fix the relationship you're in right now. You know what I'm just saying? Now let me ask you this, Shanti.

Mhmm. We talked about unhealthy relationship modeling growing up. Do you feel you are able to have a healthy relationship now? Yes. I have one now.

這取決於你對健康的定義。因為你認為健康，我可能不健康。沒錯。我現在就來定義一下。我會用非常簡單易懂的術語，為大家解釋一下。

And I'm not diving deep into these because that's an entire not just an episode, but a book and a seminar. So I'm not gonna go into that. But I'm just gonna talk about three basic principles that are in a healthy relationship. When one of these three are missing, you are in an unhealthy relationship. So, first of all, let me start off by saying a healthy relationship does not mean perfection.

Right, Shanti? That's right. That's not perfect. Mean perfection. There's absolutely no such thing as a perfect relationship.

So if that's what you have in your head, get it out of your head. And if you wanna keep it in your head, that's why you will always be disappointed and you will always be in an unhealthy relationship because your expectations are not on this earth. So a healthy relationship doesn't mean perfection. It doesn't mean you never argue. It doesn't mean you never disagree.

It doesn't mean you don't like stuff. It just means that you're human, but these three things are in present in a healthy relationship. Respect, communication, and growth. If any one of those three are missing, you are in an unhealthy relationship. Do you respect one another?

I don't mean do you have your moments where they get you get pissed off and you wanna punch them in the head. We all feel that way sometimes. Please don't please don't punch me in the head. What I'm saying what I'm saying is we all feel that way sometimes. But if those three things are in a relationship, then you are on the right track.

When these three things are missing, respect, communication, and growth, you have an unhealthy relationship. You need to fix those broken pieces. Your relationship is healthy if those three things are present and you're both giving effort. That's a healthy relationship, period. It doesn't mean perfection.

這並不意味著一切都一直很好。這並不意味著他們不會惹你生氣。這並不意味著你有時只想把他們扔進海裡，然後不管他們。這並不意味著以上任何一點。這些都是正常的人類情感。

重要的是，尊重、溝通和成長始終存在並維持。這樣，你們的關係才算健康。所以，現在聽著的你們中的一些人，可能會想，我的天哪！我可能正處於一段健康的關係中。你很可能也是。

And for some of you listening right now, you're like, I thought I was in a healthy relationship, but I'm not. You're probably right too. Look at things based on those three things, and you can move on. So now I'm gonna go back to that question to Shanti now that I preach this with the audience. Why do you think you're able to maintain a healthy relationship now?

我長大了，心態也變了。你是怎麼做到的？嗯，我不是故意的。我上次跟你聊天的時候，就跟你說過，我精神崩潰了。

I think that had a lot to do with me changing the way I perceive things, the way I thought about things because I'm married. I've been married going on nine years now. Oh, wow. Okay. And I never thought that would've happened because I planned on being a player the rest of my life.

答案是否定的。但這一點很重要。是的。因為有很多人，包括男人和女人，都跟你一樣。

Yeah. It's not just you. You know? It it people like you are not the ones that get displayed in front of us, but people like you are real. Mhmm.

Yeah. You know? You're you're real. That's not what gets displayed in front of us. And I don't like portraying perfect people because, I think it's very, very, very, very bad for the rest of us to portray perfect people or portray anyone as perfect because now we are trying to measure ourselves against something we will never meet.

Exactly. You will never be in a quote unquote perfect relationship. Let me I little sidebar, I have to say this. If you are in a relationship and y'all never disagree, never argue. You are in a unhealthy relationship, and I'll tell you why.

Doesn't mean that we need to argue and disagree all the time. What I'm saying is that if you're truly communicating, communication is one of those key principles, if you're truly communicating, you're going to disagree. You're not gonna agree with everything unless somebody's lying because that's just not normal. If you're a normal human being, you might agree with a lot of things. You might get along really well.

You might disagree rarely, and that's fine, and that's normal too. But never is not normal. Just Shanti, what do you have to say about that? You are absolutely right because my the relationship that I was in, I decided, okay. I'm not gonna play around no more.

I'm gonna be committed. I'm gonna be loyal. I'm gonna, you know, do whatever she has, and I did. And we were together five years, never had an argument. We had our first argument when I learned she cheated on me.

That was our first and last argument. So what I hear in that is she was bottling up a bunch of crap, whatever that crap was. She was bottling up a bunch of stuff. Yeah. And instead of communicating with you, went out and struck out instead.

Yeah. And that happens. That happens a lot. So sometimes, another sidebar for those of you listening, if you had somebody cheat on you, I have learned 99.9% of the time there was something in the relationship that wasn't communicated or wasn't dealt with and this person, man or woman, went out and found it somewhere else. Yeah.

Right. Whatever that thing is because it's not the same for all of us. But, I think it's I I think it's this conversation is so important that we think about as parents, how we are modeling relationships before our kids. Now I wanna add to that. It doesn't mean that you have to be a perfect parent.

You have to be a perfect human as a parent. You're not going to be. It doesn't mean that you won't have failed relationships because, honestly, that's kinda normal too. Mhmm. That's going to happen even if you're great and you try to do your best.

你可能仍然經歷過失敗的人際關係。希望你能從中學到教訓，不再重蹈覆轍。對。發給客戶吧。不過，你知道，這很正常。

但對於那些像換內褲一樣換伴侶的人來說，你們的孩子正在觀察這一切。嗯。你的孩子，你的姪子姪女，如果他們和你關係密切，你的孫子孫女，無論你身邊的任何人，他們都在觀察這一切，這會影響他們看待人際關係的方式，最終影響他們如何看待自己。這總是會影響他們如何看待自己。是的。

Sometimes they may look at you and say, I never wanna be like you. And sometimes they look at you and say, Ashanti said, marriage doesn't work. I'm never gonna get married. And now she's happy, you know, because she's she's in a committed relationship that's growing, and that's a healthy place to be where there's communication. Now I know some of this because she told me some of this off air, not because I'm guessing.

But, but it's it's so important as parents. What are you that you think about this. What are you modeling for your kids? And I don't wanna beat up the ones who are trying, so please don't take it that way because that is really not what I mean. I don't mean beat yourself up because you're not perfect.

I mean, if you've been messing up and screwing up before now and screwing everything that walks by, and your kids are seeing that, it's not too late to change. Because if you start changing now, they will also see that. They can see that you can go from a hoe to mo. You know what I mean? Okay.

You know what I mean? And and I'm not just I mean, male or female, it doesn't matter. It's the same thing, when it comes to this. You can you can make a change today if if you are examining yourself and you realize I've been poorly modeling. Something that you can do is don't just bring anybody home unless you're real serious about them.

Yes. And just being serious about them doesn't mean that you're you're gonna last. Maybe you won't. Exactly. But don't be so quick to just switch things up.

你之前說什麼了？你你你媽一定會說，哦，給你。我交新男友了。哦，是啊。完全沒交流。

Like, that's just messed up. I'm sorry. That's messed up. It is. Like, this is there was no introduction.

Hey, Shanti. This is Joe Bob. You know Mhmm. They say, I know, some random dude coming out the bedroom, and he got a draw. And what the hell?

That's a really horrible way to, to portray ourselves in front of our kids. It it I'm I'm sorry. It just is. And it's but it wasn't just your mom. There are people listening right now who had that experience or maybe are doing it.

Yeah. Again, audience. It's not too late to change. So, Shanti, let me ask you this. Let let's discuss this.

What can people do who have never seen a healthy relationship model before them? What advice do you have for them? My advice would be to seek out a couple, a married couple around your age or older, preferably a little older, who's been married for longer than five years. Excellent advice. Absolutely.

Seek them out. Why is that why is that good advice, though? Because it's like having a mentor. If you've never seen it growing up, how are you gonna know what it is? I mean, a lot of people we watch so much TV, and TV makes us think that this is what it's supposed to be like.

Oh my god. The kind of family I want. This is the kind of wife I wanna be. And if we don't have those examples in our real lives, we're gonna turn the TV and think that's real life when it's not. You can't resolve the issue in thirty minutes like it like it does on, you know, sitcoms or whatever.

Right. But, you know, find go if you're in church, find you a couple in church. You know, elders who not too old because, you know, when you go too old, they be on that old school stuff. And a lot of us a lot of us aren't with that. But, you know, somewhere around your age who's been married long a long time.

And, you know, talk to them. Ask questions. You know? And if they're open if they're not open, don't even bother. But find you a couple that is open to answering questions about their marriage.

Or if you can't find one, go to couples counseling. Go to couples therapy. Yeah. You know, to that's if you want to, you know, have develop that growth in your relationship and communication Right. And respect in your relationship.

If this is the person you wanna be with and you can see yourself, you know, growing old with this person, then you go get some mentors. You can't do it by yourself or you're gonna do it the wrong and the hard way when it could be so easy by just get seeking help. That doesn't mean anything is wrong with you or them. It just means that you're wanting to grow. You're wanting to see something different.

我喜歡你剛才說的一切，也喜歡你舉電視的例子。嗯。我覺得你說得完全正確。身為美國人，我們對戀愛關係的許多浪漫想法都非常非常扭曲，因為我們在電視和電影裡看到的許多垃圾都被刻畫在我們面前，例如，你應該是這樣的。現在，在現代社會，我更願意稱之為真人秀。

Like, a lot of that is absolute pure garbage and teaching you all the wrong things about relationships. Your relationship should not be put together in ten minutes and based on something that's so shallow. And, but a lot of people think that that's, you know, okay because that's the garbage that's portrayed before us. But, yeah, I love that idea of of get yourself an older couple who's been together for longer than five years and find out what makes that work for them. And I you know what you know what I like about that advice as well?

我發現，當你這樣做的時候，很大程度上也會對你正在交談的那對夫妻產生影響。因為身為一對夫妻，你不可能和年輕人進行這樣的對話。對，和更年輕的人。差不多吧，是的。

完全沒有真正審視過自己的感情。沒錯。有時候你會意識到，天哪，我們做得對。有時候你會想，好吧，我們需要改進一下。但我發現大多數時候，你會同時感受到兩者的差別，你的感情中哪些是好的，哪些是壞的。

All of that is good. That is self examination is excellent. Mhmm. So when you do that for a couple, your chances are you don't realize it, and they may not say anything in front of you, but you're probably doing something for them too. Yeah.

你絕對是。我知道有一對夫妻來找我們，說我們可以當你們的夫妻朋友嗎？我們想了解你們婚姻中的點點滴滴，這樣我們就知道什麼該做，什麼不該做。等等等等。如果能有一對夫妻尊重我的婚姻，並想學習我的經驗，我會非常榮幸。

我很榮幸。是的。是的。當然。當人們想要的時候，我覺得很榮幸。是的。

Put it to you like that. But I I love that idea of I I honestly I really think that what's true today wasn't true twenty to thirty years ago. Yes. Yes. But what I'm about to say, I don't I don't think I would have said it thirty years ago, but I think that majority of Americans have not seen a healthy relationship in front of them.

是的。這很可怕，很糟糕。非常糟糕。所以，如果你也遇到這種情況，而且你知道情況就是這樣，那就有解決方法。好的。

Everything wasn't right and there's some there's a lot wrong growing up, so what can you do about it? I think the all of the advice that Shanti just gave was absolutely perfect. And if that's you, and I know it is most of you, you know, take that under advisement. And, you know, if you keep going through the same relationship over and over again with different faces and different names, the issue is you, period. But what is the issue within you?

That's where the conversation needs to happen because Mhmm. Maybe you're picking the same people over and over again because your outlook is broken. Oh, you haven't learned your lesson Yes. From the last ones. Because your lesson can show up several times, different faces, different people, same problem.

And until you recognize it and learn from it, you're gonna keep repeating that cycle. And this is where going to get some counseling really is helpful. Yes. You know, there are people out there that specifically do relationship counseling, who can really actually help you to to see what it what do I need to fix to have a healthy relationship. Exactly.

再次強調，我想強調的不是我需要做什麼才能變得完美，而是我需要做什麼才能擁有一段健康的感情。這是兩碼事。完美獨自存在於你腦海裡的孤島上，而不是你獨自存在的。對吧？完美在你的腦海裡總是開派對，但它並不存在於現實中。

你也永遠不會完美，所以別去嘗試。但你能做的是確保你尊重你的伴侶，與他們溝通。真正的溝通。真正的溝通需要對話，而不僅僅是外表和態度。我只是想說。

But real communication and, and growth. There should always be growth in your relationship. We're not always gonna grow the same way or at the same pace. You do not need to be like me. You need to be your own version of that.

Exactly. There does need to be some kind of growth. If there is no growth and you're becoming stagnant, you're on your way to falling apart. Yeah. Slow growth is better is better than no growth.

Well said. Exactly. Exactly. Well, Shanti, now we had this conversation today, but you are an you are an author. You've written this amazing book, and you do coaching as well.

嗯嗯。告訴觀眾你是做什麼的，以及他們如何找到你。我是認證心理健康教練。我是一位主題演講嘉賓、作家，我透過引導式日記幫助女性釋放、療癒，並活出最好的生活。引導式日記本質上就是針對你想克服的任何問題，給予具體的提示。

You can find me on my website, shantyrefuge.com, and you can find me on Instagram, TikTok, Facebook. I'm at Shanti Refuge Journals. Alright. And there you have it. Well, Shanti, once again, thank you very, very, very much for coming on once again.

It's always a joy to talk to you. There are 942 more topics we could talk on because you are a plethora of of wisdom, and experiences. And I really think that more people should listen to what you have to say because there's too many people in America that can relate to you. I know. And I'm gonna keep talking.

Good. Keep sharing. I'm not quitting because I know there's somebody that needs to hear, you know, about anything I have to say regarding, you know, taking care of your mental health and being your best you despite your past. Your past doesn't define you. And not and not a fluffy sugar coated mental health, but real stuff.

Oh, no. No. I don't I don't sugarcoat. I come for you. I come for you.

I love that. Alright. Well, once again, Shanti, thank you for coming on, and, we'll talk soon. Thank you. Bye.

And now for a mind shifting moment. Today, I want you to do some self reflection. I want you to take a look at what has been displayed before you growing up. What's been displayed before you in friendships? What's been displayed before you in media, television, movies, even social media?

When it comes to relationships, what have you seen? What has everything you've seen taught you? And then I want you to take those things and say, okay, how has this affected how I have relationships now? How has this affected my relationships and marriage? How has this affected my friendships?

這對我因為恐懼而無法建立人際關係有什麼影響？無論你遇到什麼問題，它對你有什麼影響？現在，我們可以從好的方面和壞的方面來看待這個問題。也許你之前就展現過一些優秀的人。太棒了。

Even that, how has that affected you, and what can you take from it? And if you've never seen a healthy relationship displayed before you, it doesn't mean that they don't exist and you can't have one. It means you need to get one in front of you to know what it looks like. You might have to seek that out, as Shanti told said earlier, but you can have one. And, again, I wanna reiterate, a healthy relationship doesn't mean perfection.

It doesn't mean that there aren't bad moments. A healthy relationship means there's consistency in these three things, respect, communication, and growth. Find that, and you found the example. Just think about it. Thank you for listening to Mindshift Power Podcast.

Please like and subscribe to my YouTube channel at the mind shifter. If you have any comments, topic suggestions, or would like to be a guest on the show, please visit FatimaBay.com/podcast. Remember, there's power in shifting your thinking. Tune in for next week.