Fatima Bey 0:02

MindShift Power Power This is MindShift Power Podcast, the number one critically acclaimed podcast where we have raw, unfiltered conversations that shape tomorrow. I'm your host, Fatima Bey, the Mind Shifter. And welcome everyone. Today we have with us Leslie Nelson, and she is out of the state of Georgia in the USA. She is the founder and CEO of Pivotal Connections, and she specializes in leadership development. How are you today, Leslie?

Leslie Nelson 0:38

I am doing well.

Fatima Bey 0:39

How are you today? I'm I'm good. I'm really glad to have you because you are just the exact right person for this conversation. So I like to dive right into it. Tell us about yourself and why are you on this podcast today?

Leslie Nelson 0:53

Okay. Well, before I do that, first of all, I just want to thank you for inviting me to have this conversation with you. It's a very important topic. But as you mentioned, I'm the founder and CEO of Pivotal Connections LLC. In short, Fatima, I help people grow using my signature programs, Maxwell Leadership Certified Team Member Resources, and my written work. As far as experienced, I served in the United States Army, the federal government, and nonprofit industries supporting people with significant disabilities. Now, as we talk about leadership, as you might imagine from this diverse background I have, that I have also worked with different calibers of leaders. So I've worked with inexperienced leaders, insecure leaders, and also others who have led with the, I'll say the highest degree of character and emotional intelligence. In short, I know what professional growth looks and feels like because I've experienced it. And I know what good leadership looks and feels like because I've experienced it and demonstrated it. So I'm here today to share that success in leadership is within the reach of every listener, but you must believe growth is not optional. It's a necessity. What do you mean we must believe that growth is not optional? What does that mean? Growth, we should never stop growing. We should never stop growing. No matter where we are in life, there's always an opportunity to grow. This past weekend, for example, I hosted a workshop and we talked about embracing generational diversity. And I know as we go through this podcast, we may talk a little bit more about that topic, but uh it was interesting to be in the room with people of different generations and realizing that we have some of the same and similar things about each other, and we just have to take time to get to know each other. So that's one example of growth that we should all really just be excited about, learning about people from different generations. It applies to other aspects of our life too. That's just one example. Never stop growing.

Fatima Bey 2:54

Yes. And why is it important to keep growing?

Leadership Without Titles

Leslie Nelson 2:57

I mentioned to you before that I follow John Maxwell. I'm a member of the Maxwell Leadership Certified Team. And one of the things that John Ma John Maxwell talks about is what he calls the law of the rubber band. So when you ask me why we should never stop growing, one of the things that he says in the Law of the Rubberband is that growth stops when we lose the tension between where we are and where we could be. That's the law of the rubber band. So if you walk into a grocery store for Tima, think about if you walk over to a produce section, you might see flowers. And around the flowers, they placed a rubber band to hold that bouquet together. We use rubber bands in our hair to hold our hair together, ponytails, et cetera, et cetera. But if that rubber band is not stretched, it has no use. It's just a dangling piece of plastic, right? So we have to stretch ourselves in order to achieve different things in our lives. We have to get out of our comfort zone so that we're becoming the best versions of ourselves. Growth has to be continual. It's not optional.

Fatima Bey 4:01

That is an excellent analogy. So now that we're talking about growth, we're here to talk about leadership today. And one of the reasons I have you on here is because you're the one, you're the right person to talk about it at the depth we're we're about to dive into. So let me start with this. Do all do leaders always have a title?

Spotting Leaders In The Making

Leslie Nelson 4:22

Absolutely not. In fact, if there's anyone out there listening and thinking they're not a leader because they don't have a certain title after their name, let me share with you why I believe that's not important. I think of people as being either formal or informal leaders. In general, Fatima, a leader is someone who influences and inspires other people, whether that's in school, on a sports team, at home, or in the workplace. As we consider that broader definition of what a leader is, someone who influences, inspires other people, any number of people can come to our mind. Let me give an example as it pertains to our youth. That person who sees someone being bullied in school, being treated unfairly or ignored, and the list can go on of things that we observe in school and other places, but that person who decides to take a stand against that negative behavior, that person is a leader for Tima. The popular or the unpopular person who makes friends with a new student shows leadership qualities by helping that new student assimilate into a new environment and possibly introducing her to others in the school. We also have to lead ourselves in everyday situations or everyday decision making. Will we just demonstrate good character inside that matches our reputation outside? That's a huge indicator of whether we're leaders or not. And yes, to answer your question, many leaders do have titles and hopefully they live in up, they're living up to that calling or that expectation. But not every leader has a title. You have managers out there who are strictly managers. They're managing processes, they're managing systems. But when we lead ourselves and others, we show that we are deeply vested in inspiring and influencing those around us.

Fatima Bey 6:14

What about there's a girl named Keisha? I'm just making someone up right now. There's a girl named Keisha, and she's not popular at school. Most people don't even know who she is. But yet, it seems like everybody around her comes to her with their problems and to ask advice. Is she a leader without a title?

Leslie Nelson 6:34

I submit that she's it. She's an informal leader. Again, the operative word is inspiring, influencing. Now we have to be careful because leadership comes with responsibilities, right? So we have to make sure as we're having conversations with people that we're doing so with truthful information, with kind information, and making sure we're not misleading people. But I submit to you that Keisha is a leader. She's got people who are coming to her, who are attracted to her because of something that she said and done. And I submit they've probably seen that character within her that matches what her reputation is as someone that people can come to and she'll listen to them. So yes, Keisha is a leader. And I would encourage her to keep developing that strength.

Fatima Bey 7:19

Yes. Now I'm asking you that because of uh I want to dive into what I see a lot, and I know you see this too, and that's why we're having this conversation. And it actually hurts my heart to see. There are so many beautiful young men and young women who are leaders in the making, even some adults, and they don't recognize that they are in fact leaders in the making because they don't have a title yet, because no one has officially recognized them on a stage with a badge or with a paycheck that says you're officially this. What are the signs? What are some of the signs? Let's discuss what some of the signs are of a leader that is in fact in the making. What does that look really look like?

Character In Real Life Choices

Leslie Nelson 8:02

Great, great question. I share with you again that I use a lot of John C. Maxwell's resources, but one book I really love is it's called the 21 Indispensable Qualities of a Leader. And just as it says, he provides a guideline for becoming a person that people will want to follow. I want to give you just 10 examples that John talks about in his book about the qualities of a leader. And I submit that even if you don't have a formal title of leadership right now, look inward at yourself and see if you're exhibiting any of these qualities of a leader. And again, I'll just name just 10 of them. These are character, commitment, courage, discernment. Discernment is, as we talked about with Keisha. How much are we delving into a situation? What things should we talk about and maybe not talk about? Just thinking through and making sure that we're discerning any given situation. Generosity is also a quality. Generosity shows up in whether we're giving our time to each other, whether we're encouraging other people, whether we're mentoring other people. And that's one of the things I talk about in my book, we'll talk about later. But let's go on some more qualities. Taking the initiative, having a positive attitude, problem solving. It's enough, we have enough problems out here. We need people who are actively looking for solutions. We could talk about problems all day, but are you taking the initiative and trying to find the reason that you're experiencing this problem, whether your team or whether your sports team or whether the students in your classroom are experiencing this problem? Are you digging deeper and trying to solve that problem for them or for all of you collectively? And two others are self-discipline and teachability. That self-discipline shows up every day. When others are doing one thing, are we disciplined enough within ourselves to do the right thing, whatever that looks like? And that teachability aligns with what I talked about before about continuing to grow, always being receptive to growing. Growth should never stop. What I love this book. It's a really good read. Yes, ma'am.

Fatima Bey 10:12

I was going to say, um, let's break, we just talk, those are great ideas and concepts, but let's talk about what they look like in reality for the average young adult or teenager. So let's talk about character. I really, when you said that, I was like, oh, let me dive into that one because that is a very generalized word that I think is sometimes too generalized. But let's talk about what it means in the context of this discussion. What does character look like of a leader who's in the making? So, what do you mean when you say character?

Leslie Nelson 10:43

Well, one thing about character is doing things that are aligned with who you are. Like how are you showing up? Character is a value. Character is a value. And so it's about do you exhibit, are you showing what you say you believe in? Good character will show up when you're faced with a dilemma. It could be whether someone decides to join in when someone's encouraging or bullying someone. What have you been taught? What do you believe in? If you believe that that's not right, for example, what are you going to do? And not only that, but are you doing these things consistently? Not just when people are watching. Character is about what people, what you do when people are not watching. So are you showing up true to yourself, whether you're within the crowd or whether you're by yourself? Are people basing their decisions or is your reputation, which which is illustrated on the outside of us, right? Is your reputation aligned with your character? In other words, you could have a reputation for being a loud, boisterous person, more of an extrovert. But are you truly an introvert?

Standing Up Under Adversity

Fatima Bey 12:09

But in different situations, you decide that you want to adapt to the environment, so you're showing up that I'm gonna take a deeper dive into what you just said because I think I love the way you explained character about it being aligned with who you really are. I think that is an excellent, excellent explanation. But I'm gonna take a deeper dive into that. When it comes to character, and I'm gonna use a really controversial modern right now in your face example. Right now, this whole country hates ice. Our federal government is is in a real big bad dilemma. I am watching right now a lot of our youth across the nation actually showing leadership by standing up for brown people, for standing up for those who they think are being targeted. And it's not just brown people. But um, I'm seeing like students planning a walkout as an adult. We don't like stuff like that. But as someone who likes to see leadership in youth, I do. I do to a certain extent because I like to see them stand up. So I'm saying that because I don't know that every a lot of youth right now recognize that they are in fact uh showing leadership when they are standing up. Now, in modern times, some of the ways they stand up is through social media because that's what this generation understands the most. You and I, we didn't grow up that way, but this generation does. And so I see some of them standing up at social media, and I see some of them standing up uh for just for their own rights, because it's it's not this is goes much bigger than just ice. There's a lot of rights that are being trampled on uh by the federal government right now. And some of some of the youth are standing up for, and I I actually like to see that because a real leader stands up as you just said. And again, I just want to give a real in-your-face right now example um that we can all relate to, whether you like it or not. No, let me ask you this too. Let's talk about this too. Leaders, when they stand up for what they believe in, it's not gonna make everybody comfortable. Does that make them a bad leader?

Choose Peers And Mentors Wisely

Leslie Nelson 14:16

No, it doesn't. And and I'm gonna read some, refer to some more things, and and I believe what I'm gonna share with you. Again, I'm still looking at John's book, but there's something, some things in here that really resonate with what you just said. And one of the things he says is that adversity is a crossroad that makes a person choose one of two paths, character or compromise. But Timmy, you know, we've got many examples in our history, in all of our histories, where people have had to show up and demonstrate what they truly believe is right. Does it come at a cost? Many times that it does. Right here in the Metro Atlanta area, we have multiple schools that have done just what you described. These are students who chose to walk out of class and they protested. I don't know if they've had any consequences to that, but they stood on what they believed was right. And I submit to it, submit to you throughout our lifetime, we're gonna have many examples, not just the ICE deportations, but other examples. We're gonna have to decide whether which side of the fence that we're on. But characters more than just talk. That's the big thing. I can say all day long that I believe this, that I don't think this is right. It shouldn't be happening, but it's more than talk. I think about people like John Lewis. You go years back walking across the Pettus Bridge, right? It's more than talk. They actually got out there and walked across those bridges. And in our lifetime, we're gonna see different examples of the same types, the same underlying matters. And it's about how we treat people. It's about equality. It's about whether I belong in the same room that you belong in, whether we're all made from the same creator. There's no distinction because of our color, because of our ethnicity, because of what we believe in, right? We are still humans and we're still people. So character is more than talk. Character is also a choice, though, Fatima, because we have to choose what we're gonna do. The choice could be quote unquote right, the choice could be quote unquote wrong, but choose, make a choice with what you're gonna do. And hopefully that choice is gonna be consistent with your values. Hopefully, when people see the choices you've made, they're gonna say, you know what? This person believed in what they did or what they're gonna do and they walked it out. Again, will we have consequences sometime? Yes. Will we have favorable results sometime? Yes. Either way, it doesn't matter. It's how we show up consistently every single time.

Fatima Bey 16:54

And let's take a deeper dive into why that is true. That is true because once you stand up for uh what you believe in, and like you said, consistency in in character, people begin to respect that. And that is when you can lead. Am I correct? Absolutely.

Leslie Nelson 17:14

It all flows. And we'll talk about, we'll probably talk about this a little bit more later, but our life is a culmination of events. The choices that we make as a teenager in our youth, the choices I made at the age of 17, those things accumulated over time in my life. Every other choice that I make builds, builds, builds. When I made the choice, for example, to join the military, that that catapulted me into something else, and something else. So every opportunity that we get generally builds on another. So if if a if someone who a student decides today they're gonna take a stand against what we're talking about right now with the ICE deportation, that is kind of a check in their character because later on it could be a situation at work, it could be a situation at in college or some other form. What choice will you make? Will be on the side of what's right or what's wrong. So again, it's a build, and the more that we do it, the stronger we get, the more confident we get, right? And then before we know it, it it comes so easy. It's it's just second nature. It's how we breathe, it's how we move. And then when we're around other people, we can encourage them. Just say we have a younger brother, younger sister. We can encourage them in that way too. Hey, stand your ground, right? It's all age appropriate, but you still want to make sure that you're staying true to yourself and your choice.

Fatima Bey 18:43

And I love to hear you say all of that. Because you're a thousand percent right. Staying true to yourself. And this generation, I think, is learning that um I will say the hard way. Um, the ones who are teenagers now, when I say this generation, um, more so than we had to. We we had to in different ways, but they just they're faced with a lot different things than we are. Um and yeah, everything you just said. So let me ask you this about leaders in the making. Is it important to pay attention to for them to pay attention to who's around them? Wow. Wow.

Leslie Nelson 19:21

Absolutely. I would say the people around leaders are extremely important. It very and and we're talking about again, defining leaders as people who influence and inspire. If current and aspiring leaders surround themselves with others of good character, values, work ethic, et cetera, those collaborations, those experiences will show them the value of those leadership qualities and others. In other words, they will see those qualities in action. Specifically, we must surround ourselves with people who believe in collaboration, who believe in teamwork and helping people become the best versions of themselves. These relationships, as you know, also give us energy because we're around people who are like-minded. That doesn't mean we have to be around people all the time that are like-minded. That's not what teams are about. You want people to challenge your thoughts and processes so you can have a really good product, right, or service, right? But it also gives us energy to keep moving forward, even in the most trying situations. I also believe a team that every leader can benefit from a mentor or coach, whether it's a formal or an informal relationship or arrangement, everybody can benefit from a mentor or coach.

Fatima Bey 20:36

Now, yeah, I just want to piggyback off. I just want to mention this one little thing, not because of you, but because of listeners. When you say everybody could benefit from a mentor or coach, that's 100% true. And you also said formally or not. And I think it's very important for people to understand that informal part. Sometimes that might be your big sister, it could be your cousin, it might be your aunt, it might be someone at church, it could be some a neighbor down the street. It's a person that's gonna help you get to your next level. Absolutely.

Avoiding Imposter Syndrome

Leslie Nelson 21:10

And here's the thing: we talked about character, we talk about our values. All those things are important as we think about who that informal mentor might be. Because we can have mentors that lead us down kind of the right path, and mentors that lead us down a different path. So we still have to make a choice. We still have to be selective in that process. A mentor, all mentors are not equal. Right. Okay. And if it takes uh early conversation, some exploratory period, so you can feel out where this person is, or whether you think you could benefit from that relationship, or whether their values align with yours, then take the time to do that. Take the time to do that. In my career, I had numerous people that didn't know that I was watching, but I was watching. Ah, okay. I remember one of my first supervisors where I said, Oh my goodness, I want to grow up and be just like this person. And I told her in later years that I always thought I want to grow up and be the type of leader that she was. This was the person that brought us into her office, showed us how to do things, shared information, didn't hold on to information closely. So you've got to observe before you select people who you might be considering to be a mentor. And the same goes for mentees. We have to be mindful of when people are looking at us. Are we setting at a good example? If we have that younger brother or sisters, if we decide to lead them, in which direction are we leading them? We have to be mindful of who is watching as well as who we are watching. All mentors are not alike. Like in a lot of other situations, not everyone is equal in terms of their ability to mentor. So make sure you know.

Fatima Bey 23:09

Absolutely. I want to back up a little bit to the um part of the question that I asked about is it important the people that leaders have around them? I'm going to ask a part two to that question. Is it, does it matter if somebody has people around them who are negative? They like to gossip a lot. They don't seem to be interested in growing themselves. They just seem to be going in a different direction in life than this up-and-coming leader who's in development right now. What is the damage that people like that can do if we continue to keep keep them in our inner circle?

What To Do After You Get A Title

Leslie Nelson 23:50

Patient, that's a great question. I think is something that does not only affect our youth, but if affects all of us, who we surround ourselves with. Many will probably not know this name, but years ago. Years ago, there was a columnist, and her name was Anne Landers. And Ann Landers had a famous quote, and she said, Don't let anyone live rent-free in your mind. And I know we've heard that in more recent times, but she was one of the original people that said that. What does rent-free look like? Rent-free looks like the people that you have just described, those influences that you just described. It could be someone that's saying, Hey, yeah, if if you steal this item from a store, nobody's going to see you. You know, you're in a corner somewhere, nobody's going to see you. So go ahead and take it. If you copy off of someone's paper, the teacher is way up front in the front of the classroom. She can't possibly see what's going on in the back of the classroom, right? If you have someone that's around you or people around you that condone or support that behavior, again, character is about who you are when no one's watching. When no one's watching. So, yes, again, we have to be, and I hope I'm answering this as thoroughly as you're as you're asking, we have to be careful with the people that we surround ourselves with. If you set a vision as youth, as adults, if we set visions for our lives, and those visions can be interrupted or totally thrown out the window based on some choices that we make, then we have to be concerned about that. If someone, for example, let's go back to the part about stealing from the store, I'm just giving this as an example. If you're caught stealing from a store, what impact will that be, will that have on your vision to maybe go to trade school, maybe join the military, maybe go to college and aspire to have a certain job. Maybe you want to have a degree in engineering. That small act, quote unquote, small act of stealing could impact or wipe out your entire vision.

Fatima Bey 25:58

Yes.

Leslie Nelson 25:59

Your entire vision. Or at least it will slow it down to a point where it's going to be detrimental.

Fatima Bey 26:07

I want to uh piggyback on top of that. And I want to also point out, and this is for the youth that are listening, you could be a leadership, uh a leadership, a person, a leader in development. And if you have the wrong people around you, they can actually yank you back from your leadership to where you start pretending to be someone you're not. As uh as Leslie said in the beginning, be true to yourself and being true to yourself is making you a leader. But if you have the wrong people around you, they begin to influence you, you begin to draw back from who you are and become who you think you're supposed to be or who they want you to be, etc. So you can actually be pulled back from the leadership that's developing and go backwards because you have the wrong people around you. That's important. That's a really big deal.

Pivotal Connections And Resources

Leslie Nelson 26:56

Absolutely. And you know, there's two terms that came to mind when you said that. And one of them is imposter syndrome. Good point. And the other is a longer term self-fulfilling prophecy, right? So with that imposter, with that impostor syndrome, this is a person who is behaving a certain way because they think that other people want because it's what other people want to see. They're acting out of character because they think that this is going to make them popular or somebody's gonna like me when that person may know full well that this is not them. This is not how they were raised, this is not what they really support, but they're living kind of this dual face, this dual life because they're seeking to please other people. And I will share with you, from youth to adults, this is a big deal. It's not, it's not just contained to one person. This happens all the time. And when you have that imposter syndrome, you're not being true to yourself. Like every morning that you're waking up, you're putting on another face that's not real. You're acting in a way that's not real. And I gotta tell you, it's harder to live like that than to live according to who you are. It is harder because you gotta remember, just like a lie, when you tell a lie, you gotta remember the lie you told when the next person asks you, right? And it just keeps-I mean, it's hard. It's got to be hard. I I yeah, I I consider myself a truthful, honest person. It's harder to keep repeating a lie because you don't remember. And I think that's why in our criminal justice system, there's this whole process of, you know, lie detectors and court and all those other things, because it's really about Kenny, you remember what you said. And if if it was true, you should be able to. Yes. Right? And so the other part is that self-fulfilling prophecy. I just wouldn't make it too long, but self-fulfilling prophecy shows up when someone has told you you're nothing, you'll never make it. You don't have the skills, you don't have the abilities. And when people say that to others, there's a tendency for the people that that receive it to walk that way. Oh, so you told me that I can't do this, and therefore I can't do it. So all of our moves, everything we do after that is geared towards, well, they said I can't do it, so therefore I can't do it. Now, I'm gonna give you a good example. And there's a YouTube video about this too. Michael Jordan is a great example. Michael Jordan, had he listened to the people uh that he was surrounded by in high school, he would have never become the star that he was in the NBA. Michael Jordan was told negative things about his abilities. And what did he decide to do? He decided that he was going to, even though it was a step back, he was gonna be like uh the equivalent of a water boy for the team. He was gonna be every place that those teams were at, he was gonna show up and get more and more experience and let his coaches see that he was committed to becoming a NBA star or a basketball star. And he kept doing that. There's a YouTube video uh definitely out there that shows that. But had he stopped, had he listened to what others said about him, he would never become who he is. So there's a lot of examples out there of people who maybe listen to negative voices, and when we do that, we can effectively kind of squash our own growth. So we really have to look at what our visions and passions are and don't let those negative forces.

Fatima Bey 30:42

I love the example of Michael Jordan you just gave. This younger generation um has other basketball stars that they look at at the same level that we looked at, you know, uh from Michael Jordan, because he was just a really big deal. Um and yeah, I would say that he was a leader in development while everybody was, while some people were telling him that he should just be the water boy, that he shouldn't go for his championship that he wanted to go for, that he shouldn't be the NBA star, that he wasn't capable. They were proved wrong, obviously, they're liars, but he was being a leader because he stood up and pursued it. And as you said, he was persistent, consistently persistent of what he wanted to do. And real leaders, that is part of what we do. And sometimes that means we have to push against the tide, we have to make waves. You know, you can't, I always like to say this is one of my quotes you can't make it across the border. The boat can't make it across the water without making waves. Now, I that I'm not even sure that's my own my exact wording on my quote. I have it written down, but uh but it's the truth. You know, if we are gonna get across uh an issue, a problem, and as you said earlier, be a problem solver, because that's another leadership trait, if we're gonna be a problem solver, we're gonna have to get the boat across the water, which means we're gonna make waves, which means people who are sitting there relaxing in the problem are not gonna like you for it. So what? Keep moving anyway. Now I wanna I wanna pivot uh just for a second and go back to part of what we talked about in the beginning. And I ask you, do leaders always have a title? So let's talk about what a leader does once they do actually get a title. So, what should a leader do once they have a title?

Leslie Nelson 32:33

Wow, that's that's definitely a good one. Uh, and and it and it varies, and uh part of what I said in previous answers would apply here, but to the degree that people that you work with or in school with, et cetera, et cetera, want to share this information, get to know your team. Yes, yes, yes, your employees, others to get to know them. There's a whole conversation about the tip of the iceberg. When we see people, we generally only see the tip of the iceberg. If you could think about a big body of water, usually the only thing that's sticking out is that very tip of that iceberg. The bigger part, the greater part of any individual is what lies belief beneath the surface. Some of you may remember, and if you don't, look up the Titanic. The the Titanic was this huge ocean liner. Huge. And as they were sailing, and I'm shortening this, I'm making this real short and sweet. As they were sailing, they looked beyond and they saw the tip of an iceberg. And they were moving along and just thinking everything was okay. But Timmy, when they hit that iceberg, that iceberg just wiped them out. Why? Because what was underneath the surface was greater, much, much greater, much more powerful, much more stronger, much more influential than the little tip of that iceberg. So, what is the tip of the iceberg in our everyday lives? Tip of the iceberg is when I look at an individual, all I see is their height, their weight, the color of their skin. Perhaps I can figure out their nationality or ethnicity, ethnicity, their age. Perhaps I can figure those things out, their gender. What I don't know is what happened in their lives, for example, when they were two or three years old, or even last week, that shaped their belief system, that shaped what they like and what they dislike. When I was growing up at Tima, my mother gave me a lot of beats. And to this day, I do not eat beats. I don't care. I don't like beats. I don't like beats because my mother gave me too many beats going on.

Fatima Bey 34:58

She didn't know we were talking about the vegetables, but not the headphones, beats by drag.

Leslie Nelson 35:04

Oh, yeah, yeah. B-E-E-T-S beats. It is a red vegetable. And I tell you, those beats, they're horrible. They're horrible. But to look at me, you don't know that I hate beats. You just see what was physically in front of me. But if you were to bring me a plate of beats, you would get a certain reaction from me. And it wouldn't be the reaction that you would want, right? Especially if you were paying this whole million bothered to me. But in all seriousness, right? Get to know people. Get to know who they are. And that's always going to be based on how much they want to share. So if you're in school and, for example, there's a new student or whatever, try to get to know who they are. Learn about the passions of your team. So if you're on a baseball team or uh basketball team or any other kind of team, find out what other people like to do. If you can influence what position people play, find out what they really like to do. And then you can be in a position perhaps to delegate things to them or put them in roles and responsibilities that can help them grow in those areas. We talked about Michael Jordan earlier, right? He was a water boy. He observed things, right? But by observing, he was positioned, right? He had positioned himself so he can see and learn and grow from other people. The other thing I want to say is once you have a title, don't be so concerned with your own place or role that you forget what other people need. After all, it's likely someone else propelled you forward. So do the same for others. And I'm not sure if you've all heard of the golden rule before, but that's essentially what it is: doing for others what you would want done for you. Finally, and we said this before: find a mentor and a mentee in school or in your workplace, when you have that first job, wherever that is. Your mentee could be that very same person that years later, when you decide to leave the organization or that position, or maybe 20, 30 years down the road when you decide to retire, that same person could be the person that replaces you when you leave. When you have a mentor, you could relate replace that person who is your mentor because that person has brought you along. But it starts with getting to know the people that are around you, the people that you I'm gonna give one small example uh before I move on, give one small example that I think a lot of teenagers can relate to with that.

Fatima Bey 37:39

Let's say you're working at McDonald's and you're you're working the fries or you're working the the putting the burgers together. I don't know what the name of the position is, putting the burgers together in the back, and then eventually you get promoted to assistant manager. Well, that's a big deal. You're you're getting promoted to a position of leadership. It's it's at McDonald's, but it doesn't matter. It's still a position of leadership. Do not let it go to your head and think I'm the boss now and I need to just treat everybody else like crap. Because sometimes people do that, and usually you do it because you're trying to make up for your own security. But as Leslie was just saying, in that situation, learn what works for your team. Be the best manager that you can be. That means find out what what gets Keisha over on the fries working harder. What gets Bob in the front to smile more for customers. You know, find out what works for your team and then make it work. I'm just rewording what she said in a teenage way. Um, but I I just I love what you what you were saying though. And I love you could have now, Leslie, you could have answered me so many other ways uh when I ask what should a leadership do? What should a leader do when they have title? Because there's a lot of things you could have said. But I love the fact that you said turn around and look at everybody else. I'm rewording it. And make sure that you're working with them and that you know what's underneath so that you have solid leadership and not just a title. And that that's honestly probably one of the best advice you could give out of everything you could have given. Um, I think that's excellent. Now that we've seen some of your leadership thinking, tell us about Pivotal Connections.

Leslie Nelson 39:23

Well, thank you for asking. First of all, I founded Pivotal Connections LLC in 2021. And the core areas of service that I have are adult and youth leadership development and group parenting and family coaching. So youth leadership is a part of it. In the process.

Fatima Bey 39:39

Because you said that real quick.

Leslie Nelson 39:40

I just want to make sure that you're served many youth organizations, and today I actually sit on the board of two organizations that serve youth also. Last year, because the club closed, I was previously on the board for the Boys and Girls Club for a local chapter here in the Metro Atlanta office, uh, Metro Atlanta area also. Absolutely. So I'm involved in many youth organizations, either for my services or volunteers.

Fatima Bey 40:10

And where can people find you?

Six Tips For Today’s Youth

Leslie Nelson 40:11

Absolutely. My website URL is www.pivotalconnect.org. And once you're there, you can select the Let's Connect menu option to request a consultation. On my webpage, I also have links to my social media sites, but they are on LinkedIn. You can find me on LinkedIn under Leslie K. Nelson M B A and Instagram. You can go to at pivotcon, that's P-I-V-O-T-C-O-N-N. And again, those links are on my website. Finally, I mentioned before as we were talking about giving and what we can do for others in terms of caring and mentoring. I also wrote a book called Giving Recklessly. And in that book, I talk also about caring for people and encouraging people and mentoring people, using that generosity principle, giving people our time. And I feel Fatima, that all fits into this conversation that we're having today about what real leaders do, what true leaders to do. We give, we give of ourselves, we give to others, we find ways to help other people have a better life. So if you wanted to purchase a copy of my book, again, it's called Giving Recklessly, it's available online through Barnes Noble, Amazon, and Walmart. And one last thing, what advice do you have for the youth of the world today? Oh, wow. Oof. You know, we talked about a lot of things in this time together, and I've really enjoyed just unpacking these with you. But if I had to put it concisely, I'm going to give you six things real quick here that our youth of the world today should do. First of all, know and believe in yourself. Secondly, explore your passions. Don't just explore them, then write them down along with your vision. Now, if your vision and your passions are legal and do not harm others, I have to add that caveat. Don't allow others to negate them or stop you because they are uniquely yours. Your vision, your passions are uniquely yours. Third, and we talked about a little bit earlier, stand up for right causes even when you're standing alone. Number four, be a person of good character. Know your values and please, please stick to those values. Number five, never stop growing. Commit to stretching. As we talked about that rubber band, you can visualize rubber band. Commit to stretching out of your comfort zone. And finally, embrace generational diversity. And what do I mean by generational diversity? It means looking outside of your own generation and finding others who know things you do not know. Be willing to listen to those individuals and learn from them. Likewise, share with other people of other generations things that you know that they do not know. Whether it's social media, technology, or something else, find meaningful ways to connect with other people outside of your generation. And whether they admitted it or not, openly, we have a lot that we can learn from each other. We just need the willingness and courage to explore. So those are six concise tips that I have for youth of the world today.

Fatima Bey 43:33

Well, Leslie, I really enjoyed talking to you. Um, I could really talk to you for another 16 hours uh because we we could have gone off of like 50 other conversations off of this one. But I really, really enjoyed talking to you. Um, and that I love that I'm able to talk to leadership things in depth with you.

Leslie Nelson 43:52

Um and I really appreciate your coming ask. I enjoyed my time too. Thank you. Thank you so much again. I hope this has benefited everyone who's been able to listen. Thank you.

Mind‑Shifting Closing And CTA

Fatima Bey 44:02

And now for a mind-shifting moment. In this conversation, one of the things we talked about is how to recognize a leader in development. Many of you listening right now are in fact leaders in development. Sometimes when we're in that stage or that phase, it's really difficult to tell that that's what we're looking at. Just like a caterpillar doesn't look like a butterfly while it's in the cocoon. You may be developing right now. When you take a stand, you're being a leader. When you have influence, that's because you're a leader. I want to encourage you to continue to seek growth. Whether you believe or whether you think you're a leader in development or not, continue to seek growth. Because if you are, the proof will be in the pudding. We will see it. We will see it manifest, it will come forth. But if you don't seek growth, you allow the opinions and influence of others to stop you. We will never see the leader that was developing. We will only see the caterpillar go in the cocoon and the butterfly to never emerge. So please keep growing. You've been listening to My Shift Power Podcast for complete show notes on this episode. And to join our global movement, find us at fatimabay.com. Until next time, always remember there's power in shifting your thinking.