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You Knew (Episode 130)
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You Knew: The Cost of Ignoring Yourself
There is a moment most people don’t talk about. It happens right before the decision. It’s quiet, fast, and easy to ignore. You feel it before you can explain it. Something isn’t right. Something feels off. And instead of stopping, you keep going anyway.
That moment is where most problems begin.
Not because people don’t know what to do. Most of the time, they do. The issue is not a lack of knowledge. It’s the choice to override what you are sensing. That is where things start to unravel. One decision. Not always a big one. Often a small one that didn’t seem like a big deal at the time. But those are the ones that stack up and shape the direction of your life.
You don’t wake up one day in a situation you never saw coming. You felt it before it happened. You paused. You questioned it. Then you talked yourself out of listening. That pattern shows up everywhere. In relationships you knew were wrong from the beginning. In friendships that drain you but you keep anyway. In choices made for quick relief that turn into long-term consequences. In moments where your gut said no, but you said yes because it was easier, faster, or more accepted.
We spend a lot of time telling people what to do, especially young people. But the truth is, most of them already know. They are not as unaware as they are treated. They see more than people think. They pick up on energy, intention, and direction quickly. The problem is not that they lack guidance. It’s that they don’t trust what they already sense.
That lack of trust does not come from nowhere. It comes from wanting to fit in, not wanting to be the one who says no, not wanting to feel left out, and not wanting to stand alone in a decision. It also comes from being taught to rely only on what can be proven and explained, while ignoring the part of themselves that recognizes things before logic catches up.
Logic is useful, but it is slow. It waits for evidence. Intuition moves faster. It reacts before the situation fully forms. That is why people often realize they were right after the fact. The signal was there. It was just ignored.
This is not about being perfect. Everyone makes decisions they regret. Everyone has moments where they go against themselves. The difference is whether you keep doing it once you recognize the pattern. Because once you see it, you can no longer say you didn’t know.
There is also a level of responsibility that comes with that awareness. Not everything that happens in life is within your control. But many outcomes can be traced back to a decision point where you had a choice. That is not about blame. It is about ownership. And ownership is where change begins.
Young people today are not the problem. In many ways, they are the answer. They think differently, question more, and see things that previous generations either missed or accepted without challenge. That perspective is needed. But it only matters if they trust themselves enough to act on what they see.
Most of the change people are waiting for will not come from a major turning point. It will come from smaller decisions made differently over time. Choosing not to go somewhere that feels wrong. Choosing not to stay connected to people who hold you back. Choosing not to trade long-term stability for short-term comfort. Choosing to listen, even when it is inconvenient.
One decision does not just change a moment. It changes direction.
The real question is simple. When that moment comes again, and it will, are you going to ignore it or listen to it?
You already know.
Can I read the full transcript of this episode?
Fatima Bey 0:02
Mind Shift Power Podcast This is Mind Shift Power Podcast, the number one critically acclaimed podcast where we have raw, unfiltered conversations that shape tomorrow. I'm your host, Fatima Bey, the Mind Shifter. And welcome everyone. This is going to be one of my rare solo episodes. So, and also, this is not your usual conversation. If you are under 21, this episode is for you. Anywhere in the world. If you are under 21, I am talking to you. But let me first tell you why I'm doing this episode. You see, as you know, I work with teens, I do this podcast, I go into high schools and speak in different places and just in many different capacities. I work with people under 21. And when I look at all of you, I see a sea of potential, a sea of greatness, but it's buried. And I'll tell you something, I'm doing this partly because I'm pissed off. I'm tired of watching you all under 21 suffering unnecessarily. Let me explain to you what I mean. You're not suffering because you don't know what to do in most situations. In fact, most of you do. What makes me mad is watching you make bad decisions when you actually know better. I'm not talking about what the adults yell at you and preach at you about. I'm talking about your inner voice that you ignore and choose not to listen to. And then you're suffering because of it. You see, most of you already know what to do in most situations. Adults treat you like you don't. But in fact, what I have learned and what I see when I do with you is most of you already know what to do in most situations. You actually don't need us to tell you. The problem is you're not listening. And I don't mean not listening to me, not listening to the parents or the adults. I mean you're not listening to yourself. You see, when I look at you, what I see is greatness being ignored. That little still voice that tells you something's wrong, but you ignore it. And because of that, you're just one decision away from a life change. You see, you know when you before you get into a situation, most of the time, most of you already know something ain't right here, but you ignore that little voice, you ignore that gut check, that little feeling that's like, I can't put a finger on it, but something ain't right. You need to listen to that. You do not need an adult to tell you what to do in most situations. That's the real truth. Because the truth is you actually know, but you're ignoring it. And this is what causes 80% of the problems that you deal with in your life. Everything that comes to your life is not because of something you did. But I would say 80% of it usually is. In one form or another. For example, one decision can change your life. You decide to go ahead, go ahead and have casual sex. You're not even dating this person, you're just horny, and you just want some sex. Fine. Now you're pregnant or you get some kind of SDD, and then you gotta have an abortion, which also comes with traumatic emotional issues as well, often. When in fact, before you got with that person, male or female, you knew you shouldn't have. Now, why you shouldn't have are gonna be different in different situations, but you knew one decision, and those things could change your life. Getting a permanent disease can change your life. Getting pregnant, whether you keep it or not, can change your life. One decision. But you knew. Dropping out for quick money. This happens a lot, unfortunately. People drop out of school, it could be high school, it could be college, could be trade school, whatever form of education you're in. Could be an alternate high school, whatever it is, but you drop out because you're like, I need to make money right now so that I can pay something next week. Then you're stuck in long-term poverty because you didn't finish enough education to be able to make good money long term. So you took a short-term situation and made a long-term decision. But you already knew. You made one decision, and now you're stuck in a never-ending loop of poverty. And y'all know what I'm talking about because you've seen it. You see those people that struggle and work, they work very hard, but they live paycheck to paycheck. And without some form of education, and education comes in many forms, and they're not always formal, but without some form of education, you're almost guaranteed to do that. And then it might not be a popular thing to say, but it's the truth. One decision. And the thing is, you already knew that that was not a good idea. You already had the logic in your head. You're already smart enough to know that. You don't need an adult to preach at you about it. But you made that one decision. And now, yes, you can overcome that and you can turn that around, and lots of people have, but it's so much harder to turn your life back around once you have dropped the pathway to some sort of success. Keeping gossipers or drama kings and queens as friends. Everybody in the sound of my voice already knows that that is a bad idea. You already know that. So why do you keep keeping them around? You know that they're bad to be around. I will tell you, keeping gossipers and drama kings and queens around you almost guarantees no progress in your life because they are the very people that hinder progress for everyone around them. They always do. But you know that already. You need to listen to that inner voice that tells you this ain't right, this ain't headed nowhere, good. So listen to yourself because you're smart enough to know this already. When you ignore your gut feeling, when you ignore your gut feeling, and then later something goes wrong, like seriously wrong. Something told you, don't go, don't go to that party, don't go to his house, don't get in her car, don't go on that trip, don't get on that plane, whatever it is, even though you can't explain it logically, something told you don't do it. Now we're attending your funeral because you didn't listen. Not listen to an adult, not listen to somebody lecturing you. I am not talking about that. I am not your parent, and I'm not talking to you as a parent. I'm talking to you as a co-human. When you ignore your gut feelings, and all of you have them, and all of you, all of you know how to listen to it if you want to. You might question it sometimes, and that's normal. And that's not just because you're a teenager, it's because you're human. But when you ignore that gut feeling, we may be attending your funeral. Listen to your inner voice. See, most of you are very intelligent and very intuitive. When I talk to you guys one-on-one, that's what I see. I see greatness, I see intelligence, I see great intuition that you are putting in a box and shoving it away. And this is a big one, dating. What some of you might call dating. You date someone wrong. You get into this relationship with this guy, you or girl, you know something's wrong. You know you should not be in a relationship with them. But you're lonely, you're horny, whichever it is, and you just want somebody. You want to be able to say, I got someone. You want to be able to say somebody loves me. So you stay in this relationship with someone, even though your gut is telling you no. And then you end up in a toxic, a toxic or abusive situation. You saw all of the red flags, but you painted them pink. You knew, but you didn't listen. Not to me, not to other adults, but to yourself. You knew. You see, often you felt it, you knew it, but you went against it anyway. The problem is that when we do this, we end up with lifetime consequences often. We end up with pregnancies, death, jail, just toxic relationships, loss of income, homelessness, a lot of one decisions of you not listening to your inner self, you're not listening to the intelligent brain that God gave you, can end up with results that are a lifetime of consequences. Every single one of those, except for death, can be overcome in one form or another and can be turned around. But why do it in the first place? What I need for you to do isn't just to listen to adults preaching, preach at you and lecture you, because that don't work anyway. I need you to listen to yourself. I need you to listen to that inner voice that you already have. You're not five years old, you're not a little kid, even though some adults might try to treat you that way. Most of you are not little kids mentally. You actually do know better. You actually sometimes know better than the adults around you, but you're afraid to say so or think you will be listened to. And in some cases, that might be true, you might not be listened to. Say it anyway. Because one thing I want to tell you about your generation, and I'm talking about if you are under 21, if most of you, if you would start to listen to yourself, listen to your logic in your head, listen to that gut feeling, your intuition, you not only would make your own life better, but you would make our lives better too. There's so much power in this generation. You are under 21, I'm talking to you. You have a lot of power. Even though some of the adults around you have told you you don't, and that you're a kid and you should listen. I'm saying the opposite. You have a lot of power. You have a lot of brains, a lot of intuition, a lot of talent. I see it all the time. Let's talk about why you go against yourself. And I think this is important. One of the reasons why you go against yourself, you don't listen to your own voice, is because you don't want to feel left out. That's not a teenage thing, that's a human thing. And again, that's not just because you're a teenager. There are 40-year-olds who have that same issue. It just looks different when you're an adult and you're working and you own a home, or you have to pay rent or have other responsibilities. So it looks different for adults, but it really is the same thing at its core. You don't want to feel left out. You don't want to look different. You don't want to be ostracized. You don't want to be seen like you're weird. You want to be wanted in the moment. You want to be loved and wanted and desired in the moment. So you go against your greater gift, your greater brain, your greater intuition, and you do what you think is going to be accepted or popular or what's going to make you feel good in the moment. But often it yields results that you don't want. Or sometimes, and this is a big one, you ignore the feeling because it wasn't logical. Now, I want to talk about that for a second because some of you think if something's not logical, then you shouldn't do it. That's actually not true. I'm not saying throw logic out the window and be an airhead, so please don't misunderstand me. What I'm saying is you ignored your gut feeling. But see, your intuition is stronger than your than your your your logic. Logic is like a slow turtle. It'll get there eventually, but it waits for proof. Your intuition knows, can see the truck before it's coming and tells you to get out the road so you don't get hit. Your intuition is what knows more than logic. Logic is slow and a little special. Intuition is highly intelligent and fast. All of you have that, and most of you ignore it. Most of you have been taught out of listening to it. And I'm saying I want you to start listening to it. I'm saying that I believe you are intelligent enough to listen to it. You already know what decision to make in most situations. I just want to see you actually start doing it. And I also want to say this. If you can ignore it, if you can ignore it, if you can push away, if you can give a rebuttal, if you can reply to that voice that tells you not to, that means you can also listen to it. What are you replying to? You ever thought about that? When you're trying to make a decision about something, even in a split second, you try to make a decision about something, there's a dialogue that happens in your head. What are you replying to? Think about that. If you're replying, nah, I could do this, what are you saying not to? You're replying to your intuition. You're replying to yourself. Unlike a lot of adults, you are under 21. I don't believe you're dumb. You're not dumb, you're not clueless. And one thing I know is you see more than people think. People think you're you're just an immature kid. I know different because I I just know different. Most of you, although there may need to be some maturity there because you're a human being, and maturity doesn't stop at an age. It stops when you choose to make it stop. So maturity is something we should always be striving for as we grow. And again, not just because you're a teenager, because there are some 40-year-olds that are still maturing. And that's okay. Here's the thing that I want you to know. Again, you're under 21, I'm talking to you. Most of the answers to our problems, I believe, are in you, your generation. Let me explain what I'm saying. Most of the problems of this world you didn't create. You were brought into the problems. They were created by us, the generations before you. I believe most of the answers that we need to fix this world right now are actually in you, under 21. The answers that we need in this world, the greatness that we need to fix our problems, are in you. If they were in us, they'd be fixed already. Obviously, we've screwed it up. We actually need you to fix some of the problems that we have. But here's let me explain why. You see, under 21, you think differently than my generation. You think differently actually than all the generations before you. We tell you it's a problem. I see it as a gift. It can be a problem in certain aspects, absolutely. We had problems in other aspects. Every generation does, so what? But because you think differently than we do, that means you see things we don't. That is why you can solve some of the problems the generations before you have created. I want you to know I believe in you, under 21. I believe in you, and I know you have greatness in you that you are suppressing. I want you to stop suppressing it. You have maturity in you that you won't let out because you're trying to fit in with the dummies around you. Stop it. We've left you a mess. We need you. We really, really need you. And I also believe most of the problems in this world would be solved very quickly. If every teenager in the world right now started listening to themselves, you would turn this entire world upside down on its head the way it needs to, in order to get fixed. I truly believe you are the answer we have been looking for. There's so much greatness in you, and I would love to see it flourish. Stop overriding yourself to fit in. Stop overriding your intuition. The lot the clear, intelligent logic that you really do have, but you don't listen because you want to fit in. Eventually, you'll get over trying to fit in because you'll realize how useless that is and how how actually it's actually more damaging. Everything doesn't come from a big moment. It comes from small decisions. Small decisions are what guide what guide your life. One decision can change your life, absolutely, but it's the everyday small decisions that really guide your life. They drive the car of your life. So I want you to start making one decision at a time. To start listening to yourself. Not just a bunch of adults preaching at you. And yes, adults can give you great advice. Some adults give you bad advice. Take it all with a grain of salt. Don't just assume because we're we're older that we know what we're talking about. But also don't assume because we're older we don't know what we're talking about. Take it all with a grain of salt. Eat the meat, spit out the bones. That means take what is relevant, what is true, dismiss the rest. Take that through your life. And again, that's not just because you're a teenager. I want you to do that for the rest of your life. It'll help you to not waste your time and energy on foolishness. And again, this episode is short to the point. I want you under 21, I want you to start listening to yourself, to start doing the things you know to do. You don't need us preaching at you. You need to listen to yourself. Listen to what you already know. So let me ask you this what one decision are you going to make today from what you already know? You've been listening to Mind Shift Power Podcast for complete show notes on this episode. And to join our global movement, find us at fatimabey.com. Until next time, always remember there's power in shifting your thinking.
