Forgive & Live:

Reclaiming Your Life Through the Power of Forgiveness

with James Devine



The recent MindShift Power Podcast episode featuring James Divine, a middle school teacher, musician, and author from Colorado, delivers a powerful exploration of forgiveness that resonates deeply regardless of age or experience.

A Powerful Story of Forgiveness and Healing

James shares his harrowing journey of being sexually abused from ages six to nine by a family friend. This traumatic experience shaped his life in profound ways, eventually culminating in such intense hatred that by sixteen, he harbored thoughts of killing his abuser. It was at this crucial juncture that James made the life-altering decision to forgive – not for his abuser's benefit, but for his own healing and spiritual wellbeing.

The Toxic Impact of Unforgiveness: "Acid to the Soul"

What makes this episode particularly impactful is how James articulates the comprehensive damage unforgiveness inflicts. He explains how holding onto resentment and bitterness doesn't just affect our emotional state – it permeates every aspect of our lives: financially, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Using the powerful metaphor of unforgiveness as "acid to our souls," James illustrates how this toxic emotion gradually eats away at our wellbeing, eventually manifesting as physical ailments and diminished quality of life.

Debunking Misconceptions About Forgiveness

The discussion clarifies several misconceptions about forgiveness that many people struggle with. Importantly, James emphasizes that forgiveness is not excusing someone's actions. For serious offenses like abuse, forgiveness can coexist with pursuing justice through proper legal channels. Additionally, forgiveness doesn't always necessitate reconciliation – in many cases, particularly involving abuse, maintaining separation is the healthiest course of action.

Forgiveness: A Decision, Not a Feeling

Perhaps most crucially for those currently struggling with unforgiveness, James emphasizes that forgiveness is fundamentally a decision, not a feeling. Many people stall their healing journey waiting to feel forgiving, but James explains that the decision must come first, with feelings eventually following that initial choice. Often, forgiveness requires making this decision repeatedly as painful memories resurface.

The "Forgive and Live Workshop": A Practical Guide to Healing

James's journey led him to develop the "Forgive and Live Workshop," a free course designed to guide others through the forgiveness process he navigated over decades. This resource offers practical steps and frameworks for those seeking freedom from the burden of unforgiveness, regardless of the nature or severity of their hurt.

The Physical Toll of Unforgiveness

The episode powerfully illustrates how unforgiveness manifests physically through James's comparison of his own active lifestyle at 58 to his mother's declining health in her early fifties. Having held onto bitterness throughout her life and refusing counseling, his mother's quality of life suffered dramatically – serving as a poignant warning about the long-term consequences of harboring resentment.

Forgiveness as a Teen: A Chance to Heal Early

For teenagers and young adults specifically, this episode offers profound insight into how addressing trauma and practicing forgiveness early can prevent decades of unnecessary suffering. James notes that his healing journey could have progressed much faster had he accessed proper support and counseling earlier in life.

The MindShift Moment: Choosing Your Own Well-being

The MindShift moment concluding the episode perfectly encapsulates the core message: forgiveness is ultimately a choice we make for our own wellbeing, not for those who hurt us. While feelings of hurt and anger are legitimate, choosing to release them prevents the "cancer" of bitterness from consuming our lives. It's a powerful reminder that our healing and freedom lie within our power to choose forgiveness – one decision at a time.