Your Purpose is BUILT IN - Your Thinking is the Only Thing Keeping You From It

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This is an episode where I sat down with Todd and Jackie from In the Groove. We talked about how I went from fitting brides to shifting minds. And why you're thinking is the real thing holding you back. Here we go.

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Welcome to In the Groove with Todd and Jackie, the podcast where good vibes meet great conversations and changemakers take center stage.

Each week we sit down with inspiring authors, impactful speakers and visionary leaders who are making a difference in the world.

We're bringing you powerful insights, engaging stories and actionable ideas to amplify your voice and spark meaningful change.

So get ready to get in the groove as we dive into conversations that uplift, inspire and empower.

Now here's... and Jackie.

Hey, hey, hey, it's another groovy day and that's because we make it that way. Welcome to In the Groove with Todd and Jackie. And of course, I'm Todd.

And I'm Jackie and this is the podcast where good vibes meet great conversations and changemakers take center stage.

That's right. We're talking to people who want to expand their mission, their message, and maybe even monetize their business with their message.

And so besides this podcast, we get in the groove through so many programs that we have for families, for kids, for entrepreneurs. And we've got a really cool one coming up in April of 2026 is our family talks retreat called us because the families talk together for a whole week. They unplug and they get to know each other better. Every single member of the family is working on their signature talk.

and they're delivering it at the end of the week. And it's all at an ECHO Lodge in the jungles of Costa Rica. so there's lots of fun activities to do just because you're in Costa Rica in the jungle. But besides all of the other things that the family is going to be doing together so that when they leave Costa Rica, they are closer, they have stronger bonds, they understand each other better. Mom and dad are the heroes and the kids.

now also know how they contribute in a powerful way to the family and to their communities. So how do they learn more about that?

It's pretty simple. All you got to do is go to ToddandJackie.com, click on the Impact and Outreach tab, and then go to the Costa Rica Retreats and look for Family Talks Retreat. And all the information is right there. If not, if you have more questions, get ahold of us and we'd be more than happy to entice you to come to Costa Rica. Did we mention an eight part zip line?

did not mean.

8 part zipline, monkeys, toucans, sloths, everything near in the jungle and no wifi. So check it out. We want to see you there.

Absolutely. And right now we're doing our countdown to Costa Rica. And so there's lots of discounts on that investment. And yes, it is for family, but we're all family members, whether we're sisters, brothers, aunts, uncles. And so that qualifies you even as an individual to attend our retreat because you'll still get to work on your signature talk and all of the assets that come with monetizing your business. So, all righty. Well,

We are bringing some good vibes today and we're going to have a great conversation with our guest Fatima Bay. Fatima is known as the Mindshifter. She is actually host of the Mindshift Power podcast and her Mindshift coaching focuses on helping teens and adults reshape the way they think so they can shift the direction of their lives.

Her mission is to bridge the communication gap between generations and help parents and young people reconnect through understanding, self-worth, and personal accountability. She's my kind of people. her website is FatimaBay.com. Fatima, it is so delightful to have you here. Welcome to In the Groove.

Well, thank you for bringing me to your groovy podcast. You know what's funny? I actually used the word groovy before I met you.

That's like his word.

It's my word too! It's my word too because nobody uses it so that makes it special.

That's right. Yeah.

Great feeling word, feeling groovy. Okay. So we, we have you in front of our amazing audience today and there are a full spectrum of people from all walks of life. What is it that you want them to come away with after our discussion today?

I'm gonna pregnant.

I want them to come away with something that benefits them. So I want the audience to walk away with knowing that you're never stuck unless you want to be.

Mmm.

Change is always possible. You gotta make it.

question is who would want to get stuck so like there are people who put themselves in positions where they're just kind of stuck so Fatima have you ever been stuck is this is it is a life lesson learned how you started your mission

my God, have I been stuck? I should have been the mindshifter decades ago, to be honest with you. I became the mindshifter during the pandemic because I was a bride and all seamstress. I had a successful wedding gown designing and alteration business, internationally awarded. I was winning award after award every year. And then I was on track to have my best year ever.

Then the pandemic happened. And obviously I can't get this close to people, which I need to do to do fittings, very extremely intimate setting, almost like a doctor. You're just very close to people. And obviously you couldn't do that during the pandemic. So I had to all of a sudden find a way to make money. I started making masks. I knew I didn't want to do that long-term, but I had to do something to make some money. And then a friend of mine got me, you didn't know this, but I actually,

drove an ice cream truck during the pandemic. Yeah, I did that. I never thought in million years that would be me. my whole life story is very interesting. I did that, but that helped me to get unstuck in the moment at the time. becoming the mindshifter was something that actually my sister really encouraged and helped me with because yeah, I knew I was doing the ice cream truck temporarily to make money. And it did make me decent money for that summer.

You work every day, you work hard, you sweat in a hot truck, but it was worth it at the end of the day.

You were the savior to so many people who were confined in their homes and all of sudden you go out to get ice cream.

Seriously Jackie, seriously. I had grown men jumping up and down on the lawn like they were five years old when they saw me coming. they were just like, they were so happy to see some sort of normalcy. So it was really great that they were really happy to see me. And then I put up a sign in my window that said I'm the ice cream queen and had children calling me your royal highness. It was hilarious. you know, was my, go to

parties and that was my personality. I was the ice cream queen and I made people dance for the ice cream. was fun.

Ice cream queen is much better than ice queen, right?

Yeah, yeah, I've never been the ice queen and I don't know how to be. I'm too lovey-dovey-huggy. But anyway, I became the mind-shifter during the pandemic because I needed to branch into the person I've always been that I was holding myself back from. And I didn't realize how true that was. And it was really my sister that pushed me. She actually helped me to come up with a title for myself. She's like, all right, she went into coach mode. And she's like, okay, so what is it that you really want to do?

What's the message you want to get across? Blah, blah, blah. All the normal coaching stuff that we give people. And that really helped me refine it. And then I did come up with Mindshifter, but she said something that pushed me in that direction. I don't remember what she said and I switched it up and I was like, the Mindshifter. And then I realized afterwards how true it is. Because that is really how I operate. I've been doing it my whole life and unofficially.

Let's qualify it then a little bit to find for us what a mind shifter is.

So what I do is I help people by helping them shift their thinking. People sometimes categorize me as life coach and I do not like that title because I'm not a life coach. I'm a mind shifter. I'm not a therapist, but I'm not a life coach. I'm actually literally in between. So I go deeper than the average life coach. I think there are some life coaches that go as deep as me that still might carry that title, but the majority of them don't.

They stay on the surface, focus on your goals. I go deeper into let's your thinking because I don't care what tools I give you, you still gonna mess them all up because your thing is wrong. Am I right? So as a mindshifter, I help people to reach their goals, but I first focus on the thinking and getting that in the proper place. Then we talk about tools. I'm not even giving you any tools at all, except for the tools that are gonna help you shift your thinking.

They will give you the tools on how to better run your business, how to better get your message out there for your branding, how we should present you digitally, all that other stuff, which is good and absolutely necessary. But I think a lot of times what's not focused on enough is the mental shift that absolutely has to take place. And I like to use this as an example. If I give a child a tool, like a hammer, they're probably going to break or hurt themselves, break something or hurt themselves, right? Because they're a child and they don't know what to do with it.

unless they've been trained on it, right? But if I give a hammer to an adult, even adults who's never handled a hammer before, they're more likely to be able to know what to do and what not to do with it. Why? Because there's a degree of maturity and thinking that exists in the adult that doesn't exist in the four or five-year-old. So I use it as an example to say that your mindset is absolutely everything. People say, mindset's everything, but a lot of times people don't know what everything actually means. Well, I'll dig down into the uncomfortable details.

to get to what that everything is. So as a mindshifter, do deal with, there's some crossover with what therapists do, but I am not a therapist. So a therapist's focus is different than mine. They dive deeper than mine and they have training that I don't. So I'm very upfront with people about that. I'm not a therapist, but I do theropies.

Let's drill into that just a little bit. Okay. What is it that is wrong with my thinking? What is it that you run up against most that gives us kind of an idea of what it is that I might need a mindshifter for?

Well, you personally, I don't know, but for most people, to be really honest, it's to untrain your brain from all the crap you were taught. That is the biggest part. Whether you were taught that you're worthless because that's how you were treated in your home. Whether you were taught that you're not good enough because you're black, because you're fat, because you are neurodivergent, because you're gay, give it a title. Pick one. Whether you were told that at your job, whether you were told that most of the time in society,

at home or, you know, are two big influences. And a lot of times, and it doesn't matter whether you're from Nigeria, from China, from the U S our cultures, every single one teaches us great things, but every single one also teaches us wrong things. You are a woman, Jackie. You cannot do what Todd does because you're, you're a woman. So you have to do X, Y, Z, you know, there are cultural things and even subcultures within the U S that will say that.

there are churches that there are other religions actually that will say stuff like that. So a lot of times, one of the first things I have to get you to do is I would say I kind of add it, weave it into what I do, getting people to unlearn the bad things they were taught that are untrue. the biggest thing that I do, and this is my favorite part, is building people's confidence.

because that's like 80 % of what the problems are in the world anyway. The people who aren't doing what they really should be doing, a lot of it has to do with confidence. Of course, it's not all confidence, but a lot of it is rooted in lack of confidence, mostly because they've been taught out of that confidence. They've been abused out of that confidence. They've been misused out of that confidence, and so they don't know who they are. So helping people to discover who they are is a very large part of what I do.

And I don't do it all at once. A lot of times people are like, follow this XYZ. I do not do that. I don't do cookie cutters cause you're not a cookie. I don't do that. I really customize everything I do. So I listen to people first. And the reason I listen to first is because I want to hear your thinking. Once I hear your thinking, now I know where to meet you. You've now given me your address. So now I'm going to walk over to your address.

Okay, so I've been married twice and I know how important that wedding day is and how important it is to have the perfect dress. And so I admire the fact that you've helped probably thousands of women feel beautiful on that special day, right? But when you're in love and you're planning a wedding, everything is just dreamy. It's all good, right? But before the show, you told us

that you were doing mind shifting before it was your business. You were doing it for brides. So can you share with us why a bride in this dreamy state of romance and love would need mind shifting at that time or confidence or what is it that you would help these brides to achieve?

All right, so I would never have spoken about this while I was still running the business, but because I no longer run the bridal business, I'm open to talking about it because I don't want people to expect magic when they come to me. I'm not expecting it is why it's magical. So when a bride is getting ready for her wedding, your alteration is one of the last things you see.

One of last things you do for your wedding, your alterations and you know, there's other last minute things with maybe the photographer or the DJ, things like that and food caterer. But when it comes to your wedding, your wedding gown is the most important piece, right? In American culture anyway, well, not just America, a lot of cultures. Your wedding gown is like, the biggest thing ever, right? So you want to make sure that that, looks good. Well, the truth is you're also stressed because

Mom is stressing you out, sister's you out, the fiance, you're not sure he got on your nerve yesterday, I don't know if I want to marry this fool, you know, all this kind of stuff, right? These are real issues, real thoughts. But the brides are often stressed out just before the wedding. And that's where I can, I can't do everything, but I can do something from where I am. So that's where I can be that little bit of peace. I can say the words that'll help them feel better. But to me, the most important thing is making sure they feel like,

damn, I look good before I go down the aisle. And if people are determined to be in self pity and low self value and they refuse to move, there's nothing I can do to take them completely out of that. But I would do the best I can to make sure that they not only actually looked good, but that they felt what I saw. getting them to shift their thinking around, my butt's too big, my hips aren't right.

I don't like my jaw. My tits are too small. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And all the stuff that women picky, picky, picky, know, pick themselves about and getting, I would mind shift them into seeing what they saw as ugly, as beautiful, as much as I could. And I'm not going to lie. If you're ugly, you're ugly. I'm not going to tell you look good. I guess I'm honest. I just won't say nothing. I won't be rude. I'll just shut up.

Okay, hold that thought. because we're going to take, wait a second. I got to say this. Damn, I look good.

Ha!

You're a handsome man.

But now we're going to take a little break. So stay tuned. We've got more with Fatima right after this. Besides podcasting, Todd and Jackie get in the groove through the Speak Project, a nonprofit serving many communities.

Feebly.

At the Speak Be Lead project, we empower entrepreneurs, speakers, and families to find their unique voice and message through transformative retreats.

signature talk retreat where you'll spend five days in Costa Rica's Pacific jungle crafting and delivering your unique message.

Perhaps you're interested in our family talks retreat where you'll strengthen family bonds and discover your signature talks together in five days on Costa Rica's Caribbean side.

You'll also find Jackie's VIP experience where you'll work with her for two to three days focusing entirely on your business and message anywhere in the world that suits you. To find another way to get in your groove and discover ways your message can shine brightly to more audiences. Use this QR code to learn.

more.

Welcome back to In the Group with Todd and Jackie and we have an amazing guest with us today Fatima Bay and wait a sec. Damn, I'm looking good. Right? Yeah.

You

Yes, yes you are.

Alright.

Sean Connery good.

You

shotgun? hear what she said?

Yes.

Okay then I'm wearing it. See that's how it works right? 15 months that's how works.

Ha

Yes, absolutely.

Okay, so who needs to hear your message? Fatima, who do you enjoy working with now? And who needs to hear it most?

Well, here's the thing, I have one focus, but the focus looks like many different things. So what I do doesn't fit into one demographic. I look for people who are actually ready for change, not ready to be powdered on the booty and have their problems pet. Don't come to me for that. I work well with people that genuinely want the change. They're willing to put in the work and they just need some guidance to help to get there. That's where I can come in. So I don't look for people

I actually reject people sometimes because some people, don't really actually want change. want, they want you to affirm their laziness, their complacency. And I won't do that because that's not helpful for you. That's, that's actually harmful. And I actually genuinely with, from the bottom of my heart, I genuinely enjoy lifting other people up, helping them to, recognize who they are and soar because every single one of us.

And this is a huge part of my mindset and what I train people to recognize it in themselves. Every single one of us were born with a purpose. None of us popped out and God just said, geez, what is I going to do with this thing? It doesn't work like that. We were born with a purpose and helping people to discover that is a large part of building their confidence, a large part of knowing, yeah, you're right. You are analytical. Don't apologize for that.

Let's talk about why you're analytical. You're born that way. Because I can see people's gifts. And so I just talk about it directly. And get people to stop apologizing for being their actual selves. That's a part of the un-teaching I was talking about earlier. You know, sometimes, and I'll use the analytical as an example because that's a big one. When people are, by nature, they're analytical. They make great engineers. They make great people who work in statistics. They work well with media.

They work well with other businesses. These people are amazing in certain positions. Where they are annoying is in the personal space because now you're analyzing the stuff I'm uncomfortable with and I don't want to hear it. So, but sometimes these analytical people, they're also good in political spaces. They're good in social spaces where change needs to happen. And they make people uncomfortable because they point out truth. I don't think those people should shut up.

I think they should keep speaking, but sometimes they need balance because sometimes they're saying it in the wrong way, in the wrong place. But that doesn't mean you need to shut up wholly. It means that you just need to have some balance on when, where you use it and don't ever apologize for having that skill because you see things the rest of us don't. And we need that, you know? And I'm just using that as an example, because that's one of the, I think one of the, probably one of the bigger things, a talent or a gift that a person has.

and they get verbally beat up for it or told to shut up or push down in somewhere or another. The people that I look for are the ones who want change. Now I do have a big part of what I do is focusing on teenagers. But I say the other part first because as soon as I say I focus on teenagers, people think, you don't do adults. I do, half of the people I serve are adults. I had

The oldest person I had is a 70 year old woman, 70. Who changes at 70? She did. Because she wanted to.

What is it about teenagers? Jack and I both work with teenagers and what is it about them little, well I don't want to say little buggers, but they are amazing.

They're junior humans, I call them.

program will, I mean, they are in their prime, but yet they get so misguided and misdirected.

I have a passion for teenagers because I've always had a passion for children. used to be a Sunday school teacher many years ago. And that was one of my favorite things I ever did in my entire life was being a Sunday school teacher, because I love kids. And the age group of kids that I deal with has changed throughout my life. Now it's teenagers and young adults. They're not kids, but they're not adults. And that transition space, for some reason, all my entire life, I work really well with people in transition. I don't know what it is. If you're at a pivotal point in your life,

I, that's when I show up and I may not be there the rest of the time. I might be there to carry you the rest of way, but pivotal points is what I specialize in. I used to work at job core. Do you know anything about job core? Those kids and young adults are in pivot at pivotal points in their lives. I worked there. I was a dorm supervisor, which means I was in charge of some of the case management. Well, all the case manager of my students along with, you know, coupled with other staff. Uh, I did that when you get married. A little point in your life.

Here I am working in that area. I also used to run a maternity store, another big pivotal point in life. So teenagers, marriage and children. I don't think there's more pivotal point in life than that, other than career changes. And I'm there too, as a coach. So I help people with that as well. I really, when it comes to what you asked about, Todd, when it comes to teenagers, I have a natural born.

I see them all as my kids and not and I'm your parent. I'm going to pet your head little kid kind of way because I don't treat them like little kids. I just mean in terms of care and concern. I see them all as my kids and I see them as important. They are our next generation and right now at least in the US. We've screwed them because we've handed them a bowl of poop. It's in here. Bake a cake with this. Yeah, and and many of them. is it because of it?

What is it that you find not to be, not to get specific or anything, but what, what is it that kids are really, I don't want to give energy to struggling, but what is it they're dealing with? What is it that is misguiding them?

Okay, self-identity, number one, but that's a very, very, very general term for what I mean. Self-identity as a teenager is normal. It's just human, but it's never been magnified and exponentially like it is right now because of how connected yet disconnected we are. And this generation is being pulled in so many different directions because honestly, a lot of it has to do with technology and the fact that we are so connected, which is amazing.

but it's also very harmful because we now, we now don't just have our parents teaching us. We're not, you know, if I'm 16, I don't just have the influence of my town, my school and my home. have the influence of the entire internet. Do you know how confusing that is? You know how absolutely confusing that is? All the different confusing messages they're being given, but they're smart enough. Some of them are smart enough to sift through the crap and figure it out.

But most of the time it takes them a long time to figure that out. Not only that, but now they're so connected, they're more connected to technology than they are to other humans. That is a very big, big problem. And it's not their fault. I say it's our fault, the older generation, because we put them in that situation. I hate it when I hear adults like, this generation, they're complaining. And I'm like, listen, stupid fool, you don't want to put them there.

want to say sometimes.

Exactly. Well, it's been great talking to you and I know that there are people who are ready to change. So for those people, how do they get ahold of you Fatima?

Then go to fatimabay.com, just my name, F-A-T-I-M-A-B-E-Y.com. Everything that I do is on my website. I have a podcast for teens called Mind Shift Power Podcast. It's the only international podcast for teens of its type in the world. And then I have the Mind Shifter Audio Blog, which is 12 minutes or less of Mind Shift thinking. And I just talk about different topics and I take a very deep dive.

It is a variety of topics. also have the mindshifter, Fatemeh the mindshifter guesting podcast, which this will be on. So every time I'm on a podcast or speaking, you can hear it all in one place because I find that I do speak differently during these interviews. And then I also want to note that I really do specialize not just in personal mind shifting, but I also specialize in business mind shifting.

because a lot of times in the business world, there's a lot of coaches out there and branding coaches, but very few of them focus on actual deep level mind shifting. And so I do that as well. And I actually prioritize that. And then we get into the digital stuff.

Yeah, nice. Cool.

Very cool. Well, my friend, it's been a joy talking to you and I hope you'll come back on the show because I think there's a lot more that we can talk about.

I would love to, there's a lot more.

So lastly, what we want to know is how does Fatima get in the groove every day?

Honest answer and there my days are better when I pray first you want an honest answer. That's the one kind of gift. So when I pray when I pray first honestly when I actually spend time with God I have particular I wouldn't call them affirmations. I would more say their declarations because they're not just they go deeper their declarations that I say every day after I spend time with God and it makes a difference my attitude changes.

It just makes a difference and I notice when I don't. I worry less when I spend time with God. So that is my first thing that I do is I spend time with God. Then I get into whatever I have on my list for the day.

Yeah, excellent. Excellent. Well, it's delightful to have met you. I'm sure that they're going to we're going to find some way to collaborate with you in our mission to help the kids. So thank you Fatima for all you do.

Thank you for having me.

Yeah, that's about all we have time for today. I hope you enjoyed the show. My biggest hope is that you will tell someone about the show and that you will connect with Fatima if she enticed you to and I'm enticed. I'm going to have to go check it out. Lastly, please, please, please make it a great day because it is all about choice.

And you made the right choice today by tuning into In the Groove with Todd and Jackie.

Bye everybody.

That's a wrap for this ep with Todd and Jackie wher

We hope you've been inspired by today's guest and are ready to bring more positivity, connection and impact into your world.

And don't forget to check us out on ToddandJackie.com for more great conversations.

Until next time, keep shining, keep grooving, and keep making a difference.

And now for a mind-shifting moment. Most people wait to feel valuable after they achieve something. But value came first because your purpose is already built in. It's not about you becoming valuable. It's about you finding what already exists or to stop hiding it. You don't need permission to be who you were built to be.

Do you know who you were built to be? If so, don't hide it. If not, it's time to find out.

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