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[Music]

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oh hello hello and welcome to This Fat Girl Life I am the original fat girl

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herself Kimberly pesia and I have such a fun guest today we are really focusing

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on self-care this season because self-care is so important and there's

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such a stigma around self-care but I am here to tell you self-care is not

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selfish self-care is Health Care before we really get started though you guys

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y'all know I am obsessed with coffee I drink it every day sometimes multiple times a day

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but coffee keeps me out of jail it keeps me sane so if you want to help keep your girl sane keep me out of jail because I

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meac coffee.com forward this fatgirl life now today I have the Mind Shifter

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herself Fatima Bay with me today how are you love hello I'm

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great so before we really get started why don't you tell everybody a little bit about yourself well I'm fatine Bay

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the Mind Shifter I'm a dual entrepreneur um my first business is is I'm a uh

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professional seamist dress maker and designer I specialize in wedding gowns so I'm making design wedding gowns I

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alter them and I absolutely love it I've been doing that for a very long time

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over 10 years probably over 14 years um and then I'm also a mind shift coach so

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as a mind shift coach I uh focus on the areas of helping you

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find your individual purpose um turning that turning your gifts and your purpose into

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a career or business because we should all be making money at what we were born to do um helping you to find balance in

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any area of your life that's imbalanced and then um I focus on teens

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I I I so as a mind sh fa te Bay the Mind Shifter I have a podcast called Mind

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shift power podcast and it's specifically for teenagers and the adults who work with them so it's bringing together two communities that

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work together all the time but couldn't be couldn't be further apart um so I I

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focus on that I go to high schools and do workshops and uh speaking engagements

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at with both adults and teens um I have a I write for a magazine and um I do

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group coaching as well so I do a lot do it all well you guys the reason that I am

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so excited about having Fatima on the show today is because of a YouTube video

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that I saw of hers now especially when it comes to

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self-worth and self-care we all have some drafted up

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thoughts we all go through we all go through that horrible selft talk well

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her video y'all puts things into a somewhat different perspective and

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really kind of targets some of those thoughts y'all she did a video it is part one and part two of crusty

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thinking now I loved this I thought

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a calling your thinking crusty my daughter tells me all the time

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if I'm being crusty to her so it really that hit me right there I was like man

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you know that is such a perfect analogy for so much of the negative selft talk

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that we do it is crusty thinking y'all what hit me is when she brought

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out that $100 bill and that $1 bill how many of us have $100

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dreams on a$1 budget I know I am not the other

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one I I do it and I know I am not the

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only one so for how did you come up with that

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well I'm an analogy Queen anybody who knows me will tell you and you can even look through my YouTube channel uh which

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is Fatin Bay the Mind Shifter on YouTube you can even look through my YouTube channel and uh you could see that I'm

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all about analogies I'm a I'm a natural born teacher that's really my first and foremost gift out of all the gifts and

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talents that I have I would say that would be my strongest and as a teacher I I understand that analogies are the best

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way that we learn and the reason I call myself the Mind Shifter is I try to put

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things in a way that helps you to shift your thinking and like you said a perspective

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that you I hadn't thought about it like that before so with the with the Crusty

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thinking in particular I'll be honest with you I pray and I ask God and he gives me these brilliant ideas that even I'm like whoa

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that was a good one so this was one of those um and so so I wanted to come up

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with something that okay we can we can very often we hear people explain especially as coaches and people in this

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industry we can explain Concepts that's easy it's not hard we can understand

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Concepts not hard at all but do we really get it but are we really processing it and knowing how to apply

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it to oursel uh I think very often people are afraid to include details in

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their explanations because they're going to offend somebody I'm the opposite I am not out to offend

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you but if I do oh well um I'm not going to hold back because you choose to be offended by whatever you want to be

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offended by I'm just going to tell you the truth and those who it hits and it changes their lives great everybody else can go sit down somewhere that's my

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attitude so because I have that attitude it leaves me free to be honest and real

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in my exp in my explanations so with the Crusty thinking in particular obviously you'reall going

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to go going to want going to want to go watch it on YouTube but with that um in

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in particular I just I think it's so important I wanted to really convey the

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importance that we pay attention and control our thoughts we can control our

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thoughts it is not true that you have no control of your thoughts that's some you have absolute control of

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your thoughts you don't have control of what comes at your thoughts all the time but you can control what you do with

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them that's how you control your thoughts so when that so when that little comes up in your head

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you're like you can't do that you're too stupid you're not good enough nobody's going to like it nobody's listening they

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don't like you blah blah blah blah blah blah blah you need to punch her in the face you need to turn around like

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that is a lie you need devil is a liar yes you

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really you need you need to talk back to those thoughts and make a choice and it

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is a choice it's not a feeling your feelings will follow the choice it is a choice to decide I am not going

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to let that thought sit there I'm going to pick it up and throw it in the trash where it belongs and that does take

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effort it takes a lot of work um on our part because I know for myself I I the

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reason I came up with that video is because I know that has applied to me

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and I know it's not just me and since we're on this fat girl life it especially applies to those of us who

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are fat because we are although we are more advanced in the society than we've been when it comes to plus-sized women

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we are still at a point where we feel bad about being our big selves we don't

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look like the skinny mini models we don't look like the airbrushed fake ass

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models that we put see on whatever and you can you can modify anything to look

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like anything you want nowadays yeah so most half of what we see isn't really real um but

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we tend to because we live in a in a very materialistic Society we tend to

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value our looks honestly a lot more than we should it's not that we should run around looking crazy and not value them

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at all I disagree with that but we give it far more value on a scale of zero to

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100 it should matter at 50 but we're giving it 100 or 99 oh yeah that's a

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problem you know I will totally agree with that and that thinking

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is where it starts when it comes to self-care yes and self-care is a big

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term right now somewhat overused agreed but it is

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still important and for let me specify what I mean when I say self-care because

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there's a whole lot of different meanings for self-care out there as well so when I say self-care I am talking

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about making yourself a priority establishing and enforcing

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boundaries within your life and taking care of yourself taking

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time for yourself for every person it looks a little different for my husband

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for example self-care for him you give him time alone in the

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evenings that he can write or or he may want to build a Lego set because he

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loves n blocks but that for him is

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self-care for me time to sit and do

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crossstitch or when my husband is gone that's when I watch my guilty

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pleasure shows that is my self I am not gonna and

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I'm I'm gonna totally put myself out there if I really want to get down and dirty with my self-care and relaxing

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with a video I am putting on those pimple popping videos oh I don't know why those

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are so interesting but they are oh my God I'll admit I I kind of like watching them too I don't know why

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hours yeah and I I have the tools because I've seen them enough I I bought

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myself a little toolkit of the tools to pop them anytime

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my husband has one now I'm like honey I got tools let's go and this poor

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man this poor poor this is how you know he loves me he will actually come up to

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me and say okay honey I need you to take care of this for me can we can I back up for a second I want to back up to

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something you you started talking about making sure we're taking care of selfcare and that's the series that you're doing right now and there's

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something a piece of it that I want to speak to because I think that um it just needs to be explained and separated so

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that people can better understand okay there is a difference between self-care

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and selfish now there yet you jumped again

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but that's where I going next here's the thing I want to break down what that means and what it doesn't mean because I

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think sometimes people don't understand now again going back to what I said earlier one of my subjects that I that I

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teach on um te and preach on and always talking about is balance and I think

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this is an area where our society has become somewhat imbalanced in the

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explanation of what self-care actually is self-care and selfish are two different things so self-care means that

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I will make sure that I make myself a priority when necessary and I don't

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don't go too far and overwork myself and give give give and never take care of myself that is a balanced view of

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self-care selfish is when that goes to an

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imbalanced level where my focus on myself is 80 to 100% that is selfish and

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nobody wants to be around those people I can tell you that right now if people are backing away from you you might want to consider because that's that might be

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partly why selfish is the percentage or the degree to which you are practicing

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self-care you to do selfcare then you are being

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selfish you know what that's an excellent way to put it honestly that's an excellent way to put it

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um you want to make sure that you are taking care of yourself now I personally the self-care piece is something that

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I've had to learn and I still don't think that I've perfected it but I've definitely gotten a lot better and I H

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I've had to learn that I have to take care of myself because I want to take

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care of everybody else but I'm no good de I am no good if I can't take you know if I if I can't function so I got to

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make sure I get enough sleep I got to make sure I take care of myself and it's it could be a challenge because I'm like

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I'm like the type of person where I'm like I got 25 things to get done I want to get them all done today but that's

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not you know that's not always realistic so I've learned to Pace myself I still I would say I'm still learning to be

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better and better at it you know every month but um but I think it's important

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to to point out the difference between self selfish but here is why I think it's important to point that out I don't

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just want to explain it but I want you to understand why sometimes you have a women who are

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very very giving and and they feel like any kind of care is

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selfish and for those women I want you to understand that you taking care of yourself is not selfish and I want you

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to understand where that line is that line is when it's more than 50% if you want to give it a number let's say more

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than than 50% that line is when it's more than 50% then you're starting to run into the selfish field you've

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crossed over the fence or over the line to the selfish Arena because everybody's not going to be there's 50 numbers

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between 50 and 100 I use number scill to explain to things a lot um so if you were taking care of

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yourself everybody else 90% of the time there's absolutely nothing wrong with you taking that 10% and taking care of

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yourself and this is especially true for those of us who are mothers yes uh if

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you're mother it's so sometimes and especially if you're a good mother the the better the mother you are the harder

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it is for self-care it's just true because you you're you're always constantly thinking about the what is

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for your children you want to make sure you're taking care of them you're constantly wondering am I doing the best blah blah blah and those are all natural

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parental thoughts they they really are and there are guys who think that too but we're talking to women right now

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um it's it's okay to take care of yourself it it's not just okay you need

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to you absolutely have to also I

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really where I learned that how important it was to prioritize myself and you know make

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sure that I was taken care of myself was when I worked in the corporate industry I worked for a car dealership for six

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almost seven years and I Not only was working during

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the day for them sometimes six days a week because they in Colorado they were not allowed to be

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open on Sundays due to Colorado law otherwise I would have been there seven days a

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week handled everything during the day also was scheduling and taking care of

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stuff in the evening and on my days off at home to the point of while I was on my

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honeymoon oh that's I had customers call me oh no and I that's when I was like

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you know what no nope I'm on my honeymoon call the

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dealership yeah exist

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and I was getting to a point with burnout that was so severe it

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was making me physically ill I would get sick I would lose my

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voice nothing didn't have any you know doctor couldn't fix it there was

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nothing you know I didn't have laryngitis or you know some sort of bacterial thing but it's like my body

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would start just shutting down and I would lose my voice wouldn't be able to

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speak no matter what I tried and as somebody who grew up singing I Knew

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every trick in the book wouldn't work I would get so

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drained that somebody could look at me wrong and i' burst into

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tears yeah I was hitting that wall

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hard and I finally had to you know start putting some boundaries in place and

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really that was hard for me because especially coming out of

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rehab I I had spent eight years as an attic prior had gone through rehab was

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getting my life back on track and I had this up

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thinking that in order to try to show everybody that I was better that I

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wasn't the same person I was in addiction I had to succeed well I was

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taking it to unhealthy extremes extremes yes

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and that's the problem especially you know when you're working in a corporate industry or something like that is you

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go to such unhealthy extremes to try to prove that you are just as good as a

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counterpart that may be deemed societally better and I'm not going to

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call out any specific counterparts right now that's not what this is about but

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when you are competing with a counterpart or you want to show that hey I'm the

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best you take it to such unhealthy levels and that's what I think a lot of that crusty thinking actually happens as

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well because we are constantly trying to achieve something

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that isn't going to serve us you really said it

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um I would say for for people out there who are listening right now and you keep

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trying to find a way to take care of yourself find a way to

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be better balanced when it comes to self-care and you just keep ending up not doing it and you keep ending up in

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the same uh situation over and over again and it's not happening your thinking needs to change

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until it does you're not going to change that's where crusty thinking comes in

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your thinking is crusty when it's the same thoughts over and over again it's

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just like they say expecting doing the same thing expecting different results that's crusty thinking doing what your

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the people before you and your family did but expecting it to come out better for you that's crusty thinking it

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doesn't work and you we really need to examine

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ourselves and ask okay what how is my thinking because how is my thinking

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affecting my success or failure right now I promise you it's in your thinking

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I promise you success or failure is 100% in your thinking because even if you

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have opportunities to do this and that and you have the means to do this and that your thinking is what will help

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help you your thinking is what will make you grab a hold of the right opportunities or to waste them

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or example for crusty thinking that I just came up with if your thinking makes

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you constantly feel bad about yourself that is crusty

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thinking yes and sometimes I will call it stinking thinking but I use crusty

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thinking in that video other times I've called it stinking thinking but I use crusty uh crusty thinking in that video

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because of the the physical demonstration that I did in that video and how it was literally crusty um but

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you're stinking thinking yes you're so you're so right if you find yourself constantly putting yourself

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down that means you have a bad habit that needs to be broken your thinking is

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is in a bad habit Loop and it needs to be broken your your mind is in behind

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bars and in Chains and those chains need to be broken and I love that you brought up the word half it because and I've

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said this before and I will say it again because there are people that need to hear

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it it takes 21 days to create a

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habit you have to do something every day for 21 days AB habit

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that is scientifically proven this isn't just something I came up with science is behind that so when you are trying to

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change some of that crusty thinking that negative selft

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talk the best thing I ever was taught and I I actually just had a conversation

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with somebody in a Facebook group the other day

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take something positive about yourself write it on a sticky note or

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for me I actually keep them on my phone I have a little widget and I'm actually

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going to show part of my home screen if I can get it up it doesn't

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want to come up properly because it's got a different widget on it right now

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but where is it up on the top of my screen I've got these two

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widgets and this one if it of course they're not going to come

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up properly because I just messed up my phone but I actually keep affirmations on my phone because I

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have my phone with me constantly so when I have that moment

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of tearing myself down which we all do I don't care who you are if you say you

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never do it you are lying I'm just gonna call that out real quick because we all have those moments

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may not be as frequent for some as as others but it's there so when I have

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that moment I will actually just have to look at my phone and see a little

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message you are enough you look beautiful today I write

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myself little love notes on my phone and I keep them playing in a loop so I get

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that constantly I do think that um affirmations are important and when I do

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individual coaching I customize uh I I have all any anybody I coach they I have

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them do affirmations but I customize how they do the affirmations differently because everybody doesn't receive the

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same way so um I do have people do affirmations and then I have them work up to a different affirmation once

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they're secure in that one um but I also wanted to point out uh something you

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said a minute ago when we when we're talking about

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earlier well something I said earlier about telling that in your head to shut up

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because you know in line with what you just said about H what you know we're just talking about with habits you have

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to make it a habit to combat if you were 50 years

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old and you have a habit for the past 49 years of putting yourself down and

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receiving those thoughts and and taking them in that says you're not good enough you're not smart enough they're looking

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at you whatever it is whatever the Nega it is you can even at 50 years old you

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can change that but as as Kim just said in minute ago you need to develop a

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habit of shutting them down don't just go oh man I had that thought and just sit there with it you need to shut it

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down and combat it with what she was just saying with positive affirmations

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if you do those two things in combination you can change any mindset yep and I'm I'm going to give an example

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of that real world example and I started this what this has

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become a running joke honestly but it's so accurate because again it's that you

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know you've got that negative that you've had for 49 years we're gonna just

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use 50 as our number you've had that habit 49 years of 49 years all you've

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told yourself God I hate my chin my chin is ugly having a double chin is is ugly

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and I freely ad I am not a fan of my chin

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but here's where it goes to the positive I have a built-in pillow if I

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fall [Laughter] asleep I got pillow how many other

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people say that perspective my body gave me a built-in pillow buil-in pillow I've

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got that negative I hate my double chck

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but it does this for me true one way to

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that negative that negative that I had for 49

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years I am turning it into a positive so even with that negative thinking because

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that negative thinking is not going to go away but you can combat it you have that

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thought and then you add the butt and what what's the positive on it

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what is the opposite what is the good thing about it and that I had to start doing that

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with my body especially because with my history with being you

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know a child a childhood sexual abuse Survivor going through eight years of

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addiction and adulthood I spent a lot of years in

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self-hate 36 Years hated myself hated my

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body I couldn't tell you anything positive ex except for the fact that I could s that was the only positive I had

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that and I gave birth to a beautiful daughter but I still didn't credit

28:43

myself for that you know she came out at me that was it my sister helped raise her I will put

28:51

that out there it's not something I talk about a whole lot but I was not I was not a good mother for from my

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daughter's childhood now I am a good mother and I am a wonderful

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grandmother and then again there's that butt what I'm saying is true I wasn't a

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good mom when my daughter was little but I did the work I did the healing I

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looked inside which is so hard to do it was not easy and it took years for

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my daughter but after I got Cen it still took years for my daughter to forgive me

29:32

for the hell that I put her through and thank God that my mother and my aunt and

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my sister were willing to raise my daughter because I didn't do it I

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was I spent eight years in a drug induced Haze I was not a good

29:50

mom but I am now so what I'm hearing you say and I'm really kind of talking to

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the audience right now even if you've been imperfect your

30:02

whole life and you've you've you've done some bad things even if it's not related to Parenting whatever it is everybody's

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got different details none of us are perfect we've all lived a life and made

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mistakes you can still come out of it and practice self-care with it

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because I do believe that guilt warranted or not cuz sometimes it's not

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warranted but sometimes it is warranted or not guilt is one of those things that

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hold people down oh and keep them from attempting any sort of

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self-love and you I want you to know you can come out of it because you don't

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know my story but there's you know I I've lived under

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a lot of negativity and negative selft talk most of my life I had very very low

30:55

self-esteem extremely and always had the little voice in my head telling me everything I

31:02

wasn't and I started combating it with understanding everything I am and

31:09

started talking back to her and and it doesn't mean that I'm perfect now I'm a very strong Confident Woman now and I'm

31:15

known for that but I wasn't always and I just want to give hope to

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those of you who are out there who might be like I was or like she was there 's

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hope for you you can you just have to make a decision and then put in the work it's not going to happen overnight and

31:33

it might not be easy and it might be a challenge but it's worth it because when you come on out on the other side of it

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God you feel like you got out of jail oh yeah oh my God

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yes it it is totally different I can say now I'm 47 years old

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so when I say you that 49 years it's pretty accurate for me there you know

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I've hit that age but I'm 47 years

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old and I am probably the happiest I've ever

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been the only thing that would make my life

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better was if my daughter and grandbaby lived out here with me in Vegas instead

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of being two states away but thank God for

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FaceTime I talked to my grandbaby this morning I get to FaceTime with him every

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day and I will say and my my daughter and I have had

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this conversation I was not a good mom but I am very proud to say I am a wonderful

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grandmother and that little boy loves his

32:55

nana and having my daughter call me because she has a question or she's

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just frustrated in that moment needs a break and needs another adult to talk to I love that I am one of her first

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calls now because 10 years ago I wouldn't have been and that's progress

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and that's beautiful that that is putting in the work that is taking that

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negative and finding the positive and I love that you talk about

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that honestly this whole series and I know I explained this to you when we

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talked the first time but I am the original fat girl this entire

33:45

show started because of a Blog that I wrote about myself this fat girl life I am the fat

33:53

girl that started it and the thing is I think the reason you have the followers you do is because

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you're not the only one and there's a lot of other Kimberly out there um in fatimas yes and I'm hoping that this can

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help them well you guys we are going to wrap this episode up Fatima I want to thank

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you so much for coming on for

34:21

sharing the Crusty thinking with us you know telling us about you know help has learn about the

34:27

Crusty thinking that we all do and how we can change that and knock the crust

34:34

off of it and smooth some of those edges and find the beauty that's under

34:40

the crust yes yes because let's think about a

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pearl an oyster is actually a really ugly animal but that Pearl inside that you

34:53

have to dig for is a thing of beauty Beauty yes it is and all of you out there in Internet

35:03

land that's what we're going to call it because that's how yall they're getting reached is through the internet

35:10

somehow you guys are all pearls you just may have to knock off some of the

35:15

crust I like that well I'm gonna ask one final

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question because I do this every episode but now I got to switch it up because just as a heads up if y'all

35:28

don't follow big beautiful badasses one of my other podcasts but tea is on there

35:33

too check out big beautiful bad and I like the title big beautiful badass and there's my face I love

35:40

it but I gotta get up with a different question so that being

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said what is the most inspirational thing somebody has ever said to

35:52

you see I got you on that one I think

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somebody's ever said to me directly yep because that's a different answer than what I've heard

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um when someone has told me and this happened

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actually last month a girl that I used to work with basically told me that she

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worked with me a long time ago when she was 18 years old she was just a kid

36:28

and I took her under my wing and taught her this was in the bridal shop taught her how to read people how to hear what

36:35

people are not saying and being able to to get people what they need and etc

36:42

etc and I also we worked on commission at the time I gave her I didn't even

36:47

remember this until she said it to me I gave her one of my sales so that she could make commission and it was the

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first time she was ever making commission and that's a big deal when you're you know when you're newer so I

36:59

actually gave her one of my sales so that she could make commission cuz you had to make a certain a dollar amount

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and um apparently I deposited a lot of a lot in her at 18 years old and she

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recently she's in her 30s now and she recently told me that her time with me back then has

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changed her life and it's molded and shaped her into who she is today I'm sure it's not just me but that I was a

37:26

piece of it that just literally brought tears to my eyes yeah and I it was humbling for me I

37:33

was like I didn't I I did not know and let me tell you why that's related to

37:40

this show right now at that time when I was doing all of this stuff to give to

37:45

her to deposit into her and to everybody around me I was feeling like about

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myself I had no idea that I was planting good seeds that will continue to harvest

37:59

every year in the people around me I'm only recently finding out that it had

38:05

that effect not just from her but that's the most recent and that one just like hit me like a ton of bricks when she

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said it and to me that was humbling it also tells me how important it is that I

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continue to do what I do because if I'm planting those seeds and it's making a

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difference that's it mission accomplished that's what it's all about yeah that is

38:30

beautiful well thank you so much for coming on the show and especially for sharing that

38:37

little that got me that almost made me cry and it did it was it made me cry

38:44

when she told me it literally did I was like oh wow well thank you so much for

38:49

sharing that and for coming on the show you guys go check out K crusty thinking

38:56

part one and part two on YouTube give your girl Fatima a follow because trust

39:02

me she got videos for everything for y'all she's it's gonna make a difference

39:07

in your mindset she is the Mind Set shifter let her help you shift that

39:13

mindset y'all go over to buy meac coffee.com thear Life make sure that you

39:20

are following me there so you get updates when I release new episodes and everything else you guys

39:27

I have enjoyed spending this time with you and I cannot wait for the next time I hope you all have a great

39:38

[Music]

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day