Boldness, Confidence & Entrepreneurship:

My "This Fat Girl Life" Guest Spot

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Chapters


00:00 Introduction to Self-Care and Its Importance


03:22 Understanding Crusty Thinking


09:16 Defining Self-Care vs. Selfishness


15:14 The Importance of Boundaries in Self-Care


19:23 Changing Your Mindset: Breaking Crusty Thinking


28:25 Finding Hope and Healing Through Self-Care

In this engaging conversation, Kimberly Pleasure and Fatima Bey The MindShifter delve into the significance of self-care, the concept of 'crusty thinking', and the importance of setting boundaries. They explore how negative self-talk can hinder personal growth and emphasize the need for a mindset shift to foster self-worth and healing. The discussion highlights the difference between self-care and selfishness, encouraging listeners to prioritize their well-being while maintaining balance in their lives. Fatima shares her insights on breaking negative thought patterns and the power of affirmations, ultimately inspiring hope and resilience in the journey of self-discovery and self-love.


MindShift Moments

  • Self-care is essential for mental health and well-being.
  • Negative self-talk can be reframed as 'crusty thinking'.
  • Setting boundaries is crucial for effective self-care.
  • Self-care should not be confused with selfishness.
  • Mindset shifts are necessary for personal growth.
  • Guilt can prevent individuals from practicing self-love.
  • Affirmations can help combat negative thoughts.
  • It takes effort to change long-standing negative habits.
  • Everyone's self-care looks different and should be personalized.
  • Healing is a journey that requires time and commitment.


Sound Bites

"We all have some dragged up thoughts."

"Your thinking needs to change."

"You can change any mindset."


Featured Host

Kimberlee Plezia — This Fat Girl Life

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M6ZNoMusCjo


Originally Aired: 10/22/23

  • Transcript

    0:00


    [Music]


    0:24


    oh hello hello and welcome to This Fat Girl Life I am the original fat girl


    0:30


    herself Kimberly pesia and I have such a fun guest today we are really focusing


    0:38


    on self-care this season because self-care is so important and there's


    0:45


    such a stigma around self-care but I am here to tell you self-care is not


    0:50


    selfish self-care is Health Care before we really get started though you guys


    0:56


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    1:04


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    1:10


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    1:36


    meac coffee.com forward this fatgirl life now today I have the Mind Shifter


    1:43


    herself Fatima Bay with me today how are you love hello I'm


    1:49


    great so before we really get started why don't you tell everybody a little bit about yourself well I'm fatine Bay


    1:56


    the Mind Shifter I'm a dual entrepreneur um my first business is is I'm a uh


    2:01


    professional seamist dress maker and designer I specialize in wedding gowns so I'm making design wedding gowns I


    2:07


    alter them and I absolutely love it I've been doing that for a very long time


    2:12


    over 10 years probably over 14 years um and then I'm also a mind shift coach so


    2:20


    as a mind shift coach I uh focus on the areas of helping you


    2:25


    find your individual purpose um turning that turning your gifts and your purpose into


    2:32


    a career or business because we should all be making money at what we were born to do um helping you to find balance in


    2:40


    any area of your life that's imbalanced and then um I focus on teens


    2:45


    I I I so as a mind sh fa te Bay the Mind Shifter I have a podcast called Mind


    2:51


    shift power podcast and it's specifically for teenagers and the adults who work with them so it's bringing together two communities that


    2:58


    work together all the time but couldn't be couldn't be further apart um so I I


    3:04


    focus on that I go to high schools and do workshops and uh speaking engagements


    3:10


    at with both adults and teens um I have a I write for a magazine and um I do


    3:18


    group coaching as well so I do a lot do it all well you guys the reason that I am


    3:26


    so excited about having Fatima on the show today is because of a YouTube video


    3:32


    that I saw of hers now especially when it comes to


    3:38


    self-worth and self-care we all have some drafted up


    3:44


    thoughts we all go through we all go through that horrible selft talk well


    3:51


    her video y'all puts things into a somewhat different perspective and


    3:58


    really kind of targets some of those thoughts y'all she did a video it is part one and part two of crusty


    4:06


    thinking now I loved this I thought


    4:13


    a calling your thinking crusty my daughter tells me all the time


    4:20


    if I'm being crusty to her so it really that hit me right there I was like man


    4:26


    you know that is such a perfect analogy for so much of the negative selft talk


    4:33


    that we do it is crusty thinking y'all what hit me is when she brought


    4:39


    out that $100 bill and that $1 bill how many of us have $100


    4:47


    dreams on a$1 budget I know I am not the other


    4:53


    one I I do it and I know I am not the


    4:59


    only one so for how did you come up with that


    5:05


    well I'm an analogy Queen anybody who knows me will tell you and you can even look through my YouTube channel uh which


    5:12


    is Fatin Bay the Mind Shifter on YouTube you can even look through my YouTube channel and uh you could see that I'm


    5:17


    all about analogies I'm a I'm a natural born teacher that's really my first and foremost gift out of all the gifts and


    5:24


    talents that I have I would say that would be my strongest and as a teacher I I understand that analogies are the best


    5:31


    way that we learn and the reason I call myself the Mind Shifter is I try to put


    5:36


    things in a way that helps you to shift your thinking and like you said a perspective


    5:42


    that you I hadn't thought about it like that before so with the with the Crusty


    5:48


    thinking in particular I'll be honest with you I pray and I ask God and he gives me these brilliant ideas that even I'm like whoa


    5:54


    that was a good one so this was one of those um and so so I wanted to come up


    6:01


    with something that okay we can we can very often we hear people explain especially as coaches and people in this


    6:08


    industry we can explain Concepts that's easy it's not hard we can understand


    6:13


    Concepts not hard at all but do we really get it but are we really processing it and knowing how to apply


    6:20


    it to oursel uh I think very often people are afraid to include details in


    6:27


    their explanations because they're going to offend somebody I'm the opposite I am not out to offend


    6:33


    you but if I do oh well um I'm not going to hold back because you choose to be offended by whatever you want to be


    6:39


    offended by I'm just going to tell you the truth and those who it hits and it changes their lives great everybody else can go sit down somewhere that's my


    6:46


    attitude so because I have that attitude it leaves me free to be honest and real


    6:51


    in my exp in my explanations so with the Crusty thinking in particular obviously you'reall going


    6:58


    to go going to want going to want to go watch it on YouTube but with that um in


    7:03


    in particular I just I think it's so important I wanted to really convey the


    7:09


    importance that we pay attention and control our thoughts we can control our


    7:14


    thoughts it is not true that you have no control of your thoughts that's some you have absolute control of


    7:20


    your thoughts you don't have control of what comes at your thoughts all the time but you can control what you do with


    7:26


    them that's how you control your thoughts so when that so when that little comes up in your head


    7:32


    you're like you can't do that you're too stupid you're not good enough nobody's going to like it nobody's listening they


    7:37


    don't like you blah blah blah blah blah blah blah you need to punch her in the face you need to turn around like


    7:44


    that is a lie you need devil is a liar yes you


    7:50


    really you need you need to talk back to those thoughts and make a choice and it


    7:56


    is a choice it's not a feeling your feelings will follow the choice it is a choice to decide I am not going


    8:03


    to let that thought sit there I'm going to pick it up and throw it in the trash where it belongs and that does take


    8:10


    effort it takes a lot of work um on our part because I know for myself I I the


    8:16


    reason I came up with that video is because I know that has applied to me


    8:21


    and I know it's not just me and since we're on this fat girl life it especially applies to those of us who


    8:27


    are fat because we are although we are more advanced in the society than we've been when it comes to plus-sized women


    8:34


    we are still at a point where we feel bad about being our big selves we don't


    8:40


    look like the skinny mini models we don't look like the airbrushed fake ass


    8:45


    models that we put see on whatever and you can you can modify anything to look


    8:51


    like anything you want nowadays yeah so most half of what we see isn't really real um but


    8:59


    we tend to because we live in a in a very materialistic Society we tend to


    9:06


    value our looks honestly a lot more than we should it's not that we should run around looking crazy and not value them


    9:12


    at all I disagree with that but we give it far more value on a scale of zero to


    9:18


    100 it should matter at 50 but we're giving it 100 or 99 oh yeah that's a


    9:23


    problem you know I will totally agree with that and that thinking


    9:30


    is where it starts when it comes to self-care yes and self-care is a big


    9:36


    term right now somewhat overused agreed but it is


    9:42


    still important and for let me specify what I mean when I say self-care because


    9:49


    there's a whole lot of different meanings for self-care out there as well so when I say self-care I am talking


    9:56


    about making yourself a priority establishing and enforcing


    10:04


    boundaries within your life and taking care of yourself taking


    10:12


    time for yourself for every person it looks a little different for my husband


    10:19


    for example self-care for him you give him time alone in the


    10:25


    evenings that he can write or or he may want to build a Lego set because he


    10:33


    loves n blocks but that for him is


    10:38


    self-care for me time to sit and do


    10:46


    crossstitch or when my husband is gone that's when I watch my guilty


    10:52


    pleasure shows that is my self I am not gonna and


    10:58


    I'm I'm gonna totally put myself out there if I really want to get down and dirty with my self-care and relaxing


    11:05


    with a video I am putting on those pimple popping videos oh I don't know why those


    11:12


    are so interesting but they are oh my God I'll admit I I kind of like watching them too I don't know why


    11:20


    hours yeah and I I have the tools because I've seen them enough I I bought


    11:25


    myself a little toolkit of the tools to pop them anytime


    11:31


    my husband has one now I'm like honey I got tools let's go and this poor


    11:38


    man this poor poor this is how you know he loves me he will actually come up to


    11:45


    me and say okay honey I need you to take care of this for me can we can I back up for a second I want to back up to


    11:52


    something you you started talking about making sure we're taking care of selfcare and that's the series that you're doing right now and there's


    11:58


    something a piece of it that I want to speak to because I think that um it just needs to be explained and separated so


    12:04


    that people can better understand okay there is a difference between self-care


    12:10


    and selfish now there yet you jumped again


    12:15


    but that's where I going next here's the thing I want to break down what that means and what it doesn't mean because I


    12:22


    think sometimes people don't understand now again going back to what I said earlier one of my subjects that I that I


    12:27


    teach on um te and preach on and always talking about is balance and I think


    12:32


    this is an area where our society has become somewhat imbalanced in the


    12:38


    explanation of what self-care actually is self-care and selfish are two different things so self-care means that


    12:46


    I will make sure that I make myself a priority when necessary and I don't


    12:51


    don't go too far and overwork myself and give give give and never take care of myself that is a balanced view of


    12:58


    self-care selfish is when that goes to an


    13:04


    imbalanced level where my focus on myself is 80 to 100% that is selfish and


    13:12


    nobody wants to be around those people I can tell you that right now if people are backing away from you you might want to consider because that's that might be


    13:19


    partly why selfish is the percentage or the degree to which you are practicing


    13:27


    self-care you to do selfcare then you are being


    13:32


    selfish you know what that's an excellent way to put it honestly that's an excellent way to put it


    13:39


    um you want to make sure that you are taking care of yourself now I personally the self-care piece is something that


    13:45


    I've had to learn and I still don't think that I've perfected it but I've definitely gotten a lot better and I H


    13:51


    I've had to learn that I have to take care of myself because I want to take


    13:57


    care of everybody else but I'm no good de I am no good if I can't take you know if I if I can't function so I got to


    14:03


    make sure I get enough sleep I got to make sure I take care of myself and it's it could be a challenge because I'm like


    14:09


    I'm like the type of person where I'm like I got 25 things to get done I want to get them all done today but that's


    14:15


    not you know that's not always realistic so I've learned to Pace myself I still I would say I'm still learning to be


    14:21


    better and better at it you know every month but um but I think it's important


    14:26


    to to point out the difference between self selfish but here is why I think it's important to point that out I don't


    14:32


    just want to explain it but I want you to understand why sometimes you have a women who are


    14:38


    very very giving and and they feel like any kind of care is


    14:45


    selfish and for those women I want you to understand that you taking care of yourself is not selfish and I want you


    14:52


    to understand where that line is that line is when it's more than 50% if you want to give it a number let's say more


    14:58


    than than 50% that line is when it's more than 50% then you're starting to run into the selfish field you've


    15:04


    crossed over the fence or over the line to the selfish Arena because everybody's not going to be there's 50 numbers


    15:10


    between 50 and 100 I use number scill to explain to things a lot um so if you were taking care of


    15:16


    yourself everybody else 90% of the time there's absolutely nothing wrong with you taking that 10% and taking care of


    15:22


    yourself and this is especially true for those of us who are mothers yes uh if


    15:28


    you're mother it's so sometimes and especially if you're a good mother the the better the mother you are the harder


    15:34


    it is for self-care it's just true because you you're you're always constantly thinking about the what is


    15:40


    for your children you want to make sure you're taking care of them you're constantly wondering am I doing the best blah blah blah and those are all natural


    15:47


    parental thoughts they they really are and there are guys who think that too but we're talking to women right now


    15:53


    um it's it's okay to take care of yourself it it's not just okay you need


    15:58


    to you absolutely have to also I


    16:05


    really where I learned that how important it was to prioritize myself and you know make


    16:13


    sure that I was taken care of myself was when I worked in the corporate industry I worked for a car dealership for six


    16:20


    almost seven years and I Not only was working during


    16:26


    the day for them sometimes six days a week because they in Colorado they were not allowed to be


    16:33


    open on Sundays due to Colorado law otherwise I would have been there seven days a


    16:39


    week handled everything during the day also was scheduling and taking care of


    16:45


    stuff in the evening and on my days off at home to the point of while I was on my


    16:54


    honeymoon oh that's I had customers call me oh no and I that's when I was like


    17:00


    you know what no nope I'm on my honeymoon call the


    17:05


    dealership yeah exist


    17:10


    and I was getting to a point with burnout that was so severe it


    17:17


    was making me physically ill I would get sick I would lose my


    17:25


    voice nothing didn't have any you know doctor couldn't fix it there was


    17:31


    nothing you know I didn't have laryngitis or you know some sort of bacterial thing but it's like my body


    17:39


    would start just shutting down and I would lose my voice wouldn't be able to


    17:44


    speak no matter what I tried and as somebody who grew up singing I Knew


    17:50


    every trick in the book wouldn't work I would get so


    17:59


    drained that somebody could look at me wrong and i' burst into


    18:06


    tears yeah I was hitting that wall


    18:11


    hard and I finally had to you know start putting some boundaries in place and


    18:19


    really that was hard for me because especially coming out of


    18:24


    rehab I I had spent eight years as an attic prior had gone through rehab was


    18:32


    getting my life back on track and I had this up


    18:39


    thinking that in order to try to show everybody that I was better that I


    18:47


    wasn't the same person I was in addiction I had to succeed well I was


    18:53


    taking it to unhealthy extremes extremes yes


    19:00


    and that's the problem especially you know when you're working in a corporate industry or something like that is you


    19:08


    go to such unhealthy extremes to try to prove that you are just as good as a


    19:16


    counterpart that may be deemed societally better and I'm not going to


    19:22


    call out any specific counterparts right now that's not what this is about but


    19:27


    when you are competing with a counterpart or you want to show that hey I'm the


    19:33


    best you take it to such unhealthy levels and that's what I think a lot of that crusty thinking actually happens as


    19:41


    well because we are constantly trying to achieve something


    19:47


    that isn't going to serve us you really said it


    19:55


    um I would say for for people out there who are listening right now and you keep


    20:03


    trying to find a way to take care of yourself find a way to


    20:10


    be better balanced when it comes to self-care and you just keep ending up not doing it and you keep ending up in


    20:16


    the same uh situation over and over again and it's not happening your thinking needs to change


    20:23


    until it does you're not going to change that's where crusty thinking comes in


    20:29


    your thinking is crusty when it's the same thoughts over and over again it's


    20:34


    just like they say expecting doing the same thing expecting different results that's crusty thinking doing what your


    20:41


    the people before you and your family did but expecting it to come out better for you that's crusty thinking it


    20:49


    doesn't work and you we really need to examine


    20:54


    ourselves and ask okay what how is my thinking because how is my thinking


    21:01


    affecting my success or failure right now I promise you it's in your thinking


    21:07


    I promise you success or failure is 100% in your thinking because even if you


    21:13


    have opportunities to do this and that and you have the means to do this and that your thinking is what will help


    21:19


    help you your thinking is what will make you grab a hold of the right opportunities or to waste them


    21:26


    or example for crusty thinking that I just came up with if your thinking makes


    21:33


    you constantly feel bad about yourself that is crusty


    21:40


    thinking yes and sometimes I will call it stinking thinking but I use crusty


    21:45


    thinking in that video other times I've called it stinking thinking but I use crusty uh crusty thinking in that video


    21:51


    because of the the physical demonstration that I did in that video and how it was literally crusty um but


    21:59


    you're stinking thinking yes you're so you're so right if you find yourself constantly putting yourself


    22:06


    down that means you have a bad habit that needs to be broken your thinking is


    22:15


    is in a bad habit Loop and it needs to be broken your your mind is in behind


    22:21


    bars and in Chains and those chains need to be broken and I love that you brought up the word half it because and I've


    22:30


    said this before and I will say it again because there are people that need to hear


    22:36


    it it takes 21 days to create a


    22:42


    habit you have to do something every day for 21 days AB habit


    22:50


    that is scientifically proven this isn't just something I came up with science is behind that so when you are trying to


    22:59


    change some of that crusty thinking that negative selft


    23:05


    talk the best thing I ever was taught and I I actually just had a conversation


    23:12


    with somebody in a Facebook group the other day


    23:18


    take something positive about yourself write it on a sticky note or


    23:24


    for me I actually keep them on my phone I have a little widget and I'm actually


    23:31


    going to show part of my home screen if I can get it up it doesn't


    23:37


    want to come up properly because it's got a different widget on it right now


    23:43


    but where is it up on the top of my screen I've got these two


    23:49


    widgets and this one if it of course they're not going to come


    23:54


    up properly because I just messed up my phone but I actually keep affirmations on my phone because I


    24:02


    have my phone with me constantly so when I have that moment


    24:09


    of tearing myself down which we all do I don't care who you are if you say you


    24:17


    never do it you are lying I'm just gonna call that out real quick because we all have those moments


    24:25


    may not be as frequent for some as as others but it's there so when I have


    24:31


    that moment I will actually just have to look at my phone and see a little


    24:36


    message you are enough you look beautiful today I write


    24:41


    myself little love notes on my phone and I keep them playing in a loop so I get


    24:47


    that constantly I do think that um affirmations are important and when I do


    24:54


    individual coaching I customize uh I I have all any anybody I coach they I have


    25:00


    them do affirmations but I customize how they do the affirmations differently because everybody doesn't receive the


    25:06


    same way so um I do have people do affirmations and then I have them work up to a different affirmation once


    25:13


    they're secure in that one um but I also wanted to point out uh something you


    25:18


    said a minute ago when we when we're talking about


    25:23


    earlier well something I said earlier about telling that in your head to shut up


    25:29


    because you know in line with what you just said about H what you know we're just talking about with habits you have


    25:36


    to make it a habit to combat if you were 50 years


    25:41


    old and you have a habit for the past 49 years of putting yourself down and


    25:49


    receiving those thoughts and and taking them in that says you're not good enough you're not smart enough they're looking


    25:55


    at you whatever it is whatever the Nega it is you can even at 50 years old you


    26:01


    can change that but as as Kim just said in minute ago you need to develop a


    26:07


    habit of shutting them down don't just go oh man I had that thought and just sit there with it you need to shut it


    26:15


    down and combat it with what she was just saying with positive affirmations


    26:21


    if you do those two things in combination you can change any mindset yep and I'm I'm going to give an example


    26:27


    of that real world example and I started this what this has


    26:34


    become a running joke honestly but it's so accurate because again it's that you


    26:40


    know you've got that negative that you've had for 49 years we're gonna just


    26:45


    use 50 as our number you've had that habit 49 years of 49 years all you've


    26:51


    told yourself God I hate my chin my chin is ugly having a double chin is is ugly


    26:59


    and I freely ad I am not a fan of my chin


    27:05


    but here's where it goes to the positive I have a built-in pillow if I


    27:12


    fall [Laughter] asleep I got pillow how many other


    27:18


    people say that perspective my body gave me a built-in pillow buil-in pillow I've


    27:25


    got that negative I hate my double chck


    27:30


    but it does this for me true one way to


    27:36


    that negative that negative that I had for 49


    27:41


    years I am turning it into a positive so even with that negative thinking because


    27:47


    that negative thinking is not going to go away but you can combat it you have that


    27:53


    thought and then you add the butt and what what's the positive on it


    27:59


    what is the opposite what is the good thing about it and that I had to start doing that


    28:06


    with my body especially because with my history with being you


    28:13


    know a child a childhood sexual abuse Survivor going through eight years of


    28:18


    addiction and adulthood I spent a lot of years in


    28:24


    self-hate 36 Years hated myself hated my


    28:29


    body I couldn't tell you anything positive ex except for the fact that I could s that was the only positive I had


    28:38


    that and I gave birth to a beautiful daughter but I still didn't credit


    28:43


    myself for that you know she came out at me that was it my sister helped raise her I will put


    28:51


    that out there it's not something I talk about a whole lot but I was not I was not a good mother for from my


    28:57


    daughter's childhood now I am a good mother and I am a wonderful


    29:04


    grandmother and then again there's that butt what I'm saying is true I wasn't a


    29:10


    good mom when my daughter was little but I did the work I did the healing I


    29:19


    looked inside which is so hard to do it was not easy and it took years for


    29:27


    my daughter but after I got Cen it still took years for my daughter to forgive me


    29:32


    for the hell that I put her through and thank God that my mother and my aunt and


    29:38


    my sister were willing to raise my daughter because I didn't do it I


    29:45


    was I spent eight years in a drug induced Haze I was not a good


    29:50


    mom but I am now so what I'm hearing you say and I'm really kind of talking to


    29:56


    the audience right now even if you've been imperfect your


    30:02


    whole life and you've you've you've done some bad things even if it's not related to Parenting whatever it is everybody's


    30:09


    got different details none of us are perfect we've all lived a life and made


    30:14


    mistakes you can still come out of it and practice self-care with it


    30:22


    because I do believe that guilt warranted or not cuz sometimes it's not


    30:27


    warranted but sometimes it is warranted or not guilt is one of those things that


    30:33


    hold people down oh and keep them from attempting any sort of


    30:39


    self-love and you I want you to know you can come out of it because you don't


    30:44


    know my story but there's you know I I've lived under


    30:50


    a lot of negativity and negative selft talk most of my life I had very very low


    30:55


    self-esteem extremely and always had the little voice in my head telling me everything I


    31:02


    wasn't and I started combating it with understanding everything I am and


    31:09


    started talking back to her and and it doesn't mean that I'm perfect now I'm a very strong Confident Woman now and I'm


    31:15


    known for that but I wasn't always and I just want to give hope to


    31:21


    those of you who are out there who might be like I was or like she was there 's


    31:27


    hope for you you can you just have to make a decision and then put in the work it's not going to happen overnight and


    31:33


    it might not be easy and it might be a challenge but it's worth it because when you come on out on the other side of it


    31:40


    God you feel like you got out of jail oh yeah oh my God


    31:45


    yes it it is totally different I can say now I'm 47 years old


    31:55


    so when I say you that 49 years it's pretty accurate for me there you know


    32:01


    I've hit that age but I'm 47 years


    32:07


    old and I am probably the happiest I've ever


    32:13


    been the only thing that would make my life


    32:18


    better was if my daughter and grandbaby lived out here with me in Vegas instead


    32:24


    of being two states away but thank God for


    32:29


    FaceTime I talked to my grandbaby this morning I get to FaceTime with him every


    32:36


    day and I will say and my my daughter and I have had


    32:41


    this conversation I was not a good mom but I am very proud to say I am a wonderful


    32:49


    grandmother and that little boy loves his


    32:55


    nana and having my daughter call me because she has a question or she's


    33:03


    just frustrated in that moment needs a break and needs another adult to talk to I love that I am one of her first


    33:10


    calls now because 10 years ago I wouldn't have been and that's progress


    33:16


    and that's beautiful that that is putting in the work that is taking that


    33:24


    negative and finding the positive and I love that you talk about


    33:33


    that honestly this whole series and I know I explained this to you when we


    33:39


    talked the first time but I am the original fat girl this entire


    33:45


    show started because of a Blog that I wrote about myself this fat girl life I am the fat


    33:53


    girl that started it and the thing is I think the reason you have the followers you do is because


    34:00


    you're not the only one and there's a lot of other Kimberly out there um in fatimas yes and I'm hoping that this can


    34:08


    help them well you guys we are going to wrap this episode up Fatima I want to thank


    34:15


    you so much for coming on for


    34:21


    sharing the Crusty thinking with us you know telling us about you know help has learn about the


    34:27


    Crusty thinking that we all do and how we can change that and knock the crust


    34:34


    off of it and smooth some of those edges and find the beauty that's under


    34:40


    the crust yes yes because let's think about a


    34:45


    pearl an oyster is actually a really ugly animal but that Pearl inside that you


    34:53


    have to dig for is a thing of beauty Beauty yes it is and all of you out there in Internet


    35:03


    land that's what we're going to call it because that's how yall they're getting reached is through the internet


    35:10


    somehow you guys are all pearls you just may have to knock off some of the


    35:15


    crust I like that well I'm gonna ask one final


    35:21


    question because I do this every episode but now I got to switch it up because just as a heads up if y'all


    35:28


    don't follow big beautiful badasses one of my other podcasts but tea is on there


    35:33


    too check out big beautiful bad and I like the title big beautiful badass and there's my face I love


    35:40


    it but I gotta get up with a different question so that being


    35:45


    said what is the most inspirational thing somebody has ever said to


    35:52


    you see I got you on that one I think


    35:58


    somebody's ever said to me directly yep because that's a different answer than what I've heard


    36:08


    um when someone has told me and this happened


    36:15


    actually last month a girl that I used to work with basically told me that she


    36:22


    worked with me a long time ago when she was 18 years old she was just a kid


    36:28


    and I took her under my wing and taught her this was in the bridal shop taught her how to read people how to hear what


    36:35


    people are not saying and being able to to get people what they need and etc


    36:42


    etc and I also we worked on commission at the time I gave her I didn't even


    36:47


    remember this until she said it to me I gave her one of my sales so that she could make commission and it was the


    36:53


    first time she was ever making commission and that's a big deal when you're you know when you're newer so I


    36:59


    actually gave her one of my sales so that she could make commission cuz you had to make a certain a dollar amount


    37:06


    and um apparently I deposited a lot of a lot in her at 18 years old and she


    37:13


    recently she's in her 30s now and she recently told me that her time with me back then has


    37:20


    changed her life and it's molded and shaped her into who she is today I'm sure it's not just me but that I was a


    37:26


    piece of it that just literally brought tears to my eyes yeah and I it was humbling for me I


    37:33


    was like I didn't I I did not know and let me tell you why that's related to


    37:40


    this show right now at that time when I was doing all of this stuff to give to


    37:45


    her to deposit into her and to everybody around me I was feeling like about


    37:52


    myself I had no idea that I was planting good seeds that will continue to harvest


    37:59


    every year in the people around me I'm only recently finding out that it had


    38:05


    that effect not just from her but that's the most recent and that one just like hit me like a ton of bricks when she


    38:10


    said it and to me that was humbling it also tells me how important it is that I


    38:16


    continue to do what I do because if I'm planting those seeds and it's making a


    38:22


    difference that's it mission accomplished that's what it's all about yeah that is


    38:30


    beautiful well thank you so much for coming on the show and especially for sharing that


    38:37


    little that got me that almost made me cry and it did it was it made me cry


    38:44


    when she told me it literally did I was like oh wow well thank you so much for


    38:49


    sharing that and for coming on the show you guys go check out K crusty thinking


    38:56


    part one and part two on YouTube give your girl Fatima a follow because trust


    39:02


    me she got videos for everything for y'all she's it's gonna make a difference


    39:07


    in your mindset she is the Mind Set shifter let her help you shift that


    39:13


    mindset y'all go over to buy meac coffee.com thear Life make sure that you


    39:20


    are following me there so you get updates when I release new episodes and everything else you guys


    39:27


    I have enjoyed spending this time with you and I cannot wait for the next time I hope you all have a great


    39:38


    [Music]


    39:52


    day



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