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foreign [Music]

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we have a special guest joining me today Fatima Bay she is a dual entrepreneur

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a master at crafting wedding dresses a life coach teacher

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many things master of many things you can introduce yourself further if you if you want

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hello everyone um yes I'm Fatima the Mind Shifter I'm a mind shift coach um and I'm a dual entrepreneur so when

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he says that I am a master crafter I make and design wedding gowns um that's my first business and my second business

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is being a mind shift coach and there's a whole lot that goes with that um I I do individual coaching I go to

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high schools and do workshops I do group coaching and I have a podcast and in

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public speaking yes fellow podcasts I've been listening to the podcast myself I can say I'm a

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fan um and you know as far as the Mind shifting part

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from the from the time that uh we've been talking like in the inbox from the time that we started talking

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you were already like challenging some some of my thoughts you know what you're right yeah I

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noticed that earlier everybody around me if you try to think if you're a therapist and you try to have therapy

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session with me I'm gonna therapize you and so it makes me I I was wondering is

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that so so that's something that that's not just in the podcast content land that's like every like you always kind

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of do that kind of I've been a Mind Shifter my entire life honestly and it's only in recent years things uh primarily

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through convincing from my sister to turn it into a career

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um and as a mind shift coach I might as well segue into what I specialize in uh

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one of the things that I specialize in is helping people to find their purpose their individual purpose not the

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all-in-one let me say what's politically correct we all you know your purpose is to whatever you feel like today now you

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need your teacher right now and that's not what you need to be you know you're supposed to be a scientist finding the next cure for cancer so what you're doing like that's that's me your

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individual purpose um I'm not going to tell you to you though I will I will Coach you into

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discovering it for yourself but uh helping people find the individual purpose

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um and then once you find your purpose we every single one of us should be

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making money making some Bank while fulfilling our purpose

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people think that you're going to find money that's going to make you happy it does it that's why there's so many Rich folks in in in rehab centers so many

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Rich folks killing themselves and doing all this other stuff and doing all kinds of stuff because money doesn't make you

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happy it buys you stuff and fake people but it doesn't make you happy what makes us happy is to

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is fulfilling what we were meant to fulfill so once you fulfill your purpose

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that's where your genuine happiness is and my goal is to help people to find that and again once you do that how can

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we turn that into a career or business because I'm big on entrepreneurship but

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I understand that everybody's going to be an entrepreneur so um turning that into a business or career so that you're not just working a

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job right and the most miserable people have jobs that's all they have though they don't

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have a career it's just a job on and then my third piece is helping

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people to find balance that's probably a big Focus it's a big focal point for me

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um the reason is is balance everything life that works has balance people don't think about it that way

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everything in life that's not working everything that's wrong in the world it's because of an imbalance somewhere

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and I don't mean way up in the stars and as astrology imbalance that's a

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different subject I'm talking about Natural Balance and I'm not talking about the chemicals in your body either most of the imbalances are in our heads

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so I help people to find um balance Within

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their life so most of us a lot of us we go way off the deep end

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and in an area of life um and we need balance so that that area of Life can work and sometimes it's not

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because you're doing uh something wrong it's because Richard it's because of what you're lacking

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you're doing one thing right but you need about four things right to get that thing you know that area balanced and so

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you're doing one thing right you're like well this ain't working so let me just grab that you don't need to scrap it you just need to back it up a little bit and

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add these other two or three pieces so that you can be balanced so everybody's details are different when it comes to

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what balance they need but I help people find balance and my fourth area of focus is teenagers which is what my podcast is

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about yeah um so what did you what did you hear about my pod what did you think when you

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were listening to the podcast I'm just curious well I like I listened to the full first episode which was with the

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teacher it was about basically just keeping it real like with students and

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um when I heard it what I what I noticed was

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strong opinions it was it was strong opinions on

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what it actually means to like keep it real like as far as like with the

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students and when I got into the I kind of got into the second episode a little bit and that

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was that seemed like more of um somebody you'd work with the young lady

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that you would work with and like I said I didn't finish it but it seems like on there she was confident

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and I because I I you know I didn't meet her the way you met her and you were

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like you know you gave her like you know you showed her how to gain her confidence and things like that but it

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just sounded like she was beyond her years because I think y'all said she was 17 or

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18 I'm like this sounds like somebody my age up here talking that's what I that's

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what I told her and she doesn't get it so I mean she I think she's starting to see it now I don't think she fully gets

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she's just how uh Advanced her mind actually is you know I think she will

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when she starts impacting other people exactly that'll probably do it for her

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yes and that's that's exactly where I'm pushing her next now you just took my put my secret out there

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she she doesn't know that that's that's the next that's really the next step for

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her to see more so for those of you who are watching who haven't listened to my episode you need to go listen so you

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know what we're talking about yeah it's episode two called Real Change uh and

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just a short synopsis um it's a teenage girl that I've worked with I've been coaching her

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um and just a matter of six months ago she had zero confidence

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um she felt like she was worthless in short um she's definitely not but that's the

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way she felt about herself and within a matter of months I got her to a point where now she understands that she has

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gifts she has value she is precious um I told her that when I met her but

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now she actually believes it and now she knows exactly what she wants to do with her career she's going to be graduating

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this year I got her looking up scholarships so she ain't coming out with a million dollars in debt

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um I'm just like you are not going out without this debt so we looking up some scholarships so um you know she she but

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she's she she's confident in a way that I wish I had been when I was younger you

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know um I grew up with very low self-esteem very very low self-esteem as well so um

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I love being able to help especially young women but and sometimes I've done it for for

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older women too but especially for young women love being able to help them to know who they really are and not the

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fake confidence that's often taught um unfortunately I would say a lot of

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fake confidence because it's on the surface but the confidence isn't real because it's not believed

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within them it doesn't matter if I tell you you are a handsome man right but if

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you think you're ugly it doesn't matter how much I say it you don't believe it so to you you're

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not and you're going to behave as if you're ugly and this is what a lot of young women are running around doing

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right now and and it's it hurts my heart to see and you know I I want to be able

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to make a difference on a bigger scale what I've done with her I want to be able to do that for for other young women on a bigger scale and even if I

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don't meet them if I could just do it over the air on a podcast I'll do it you know

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so have you have you done like um like public speaking or like like I

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guess like in front of a crowd of however many like you know hundreds or whatever like yeah yeah I I do public

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speaking um I do assemblies at high schools I I enjoy public speaking but to be honest

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with you my favorite place to public speak right now is high schools I love talking to kids who are sitting there

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trying to be on their phones chewing gum looking over that way um I I get their attention

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sometimes I say funny stuff or call call out their name or ask them their name in front of everybody and make a pay

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attention they don't realize that's what I'm doing but um it's hard to get their attention when

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they're sitting in the school setting in their classroom all day you know so um but I love talking to high school

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students and uh when they start asking questions back then you're engaging it's

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working um and that's that's hard that's really hard to do with high school students especially nowadays because their

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attention spans are so short you know because we're what everybody has what I call Tick Tock brain it's like oh look

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yep yep microwave era yeah yeah it's like really really quick I'm done you

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know so it's it's hard to maintain their attention and so um I try to be as interactive as I can

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but I really love talking to the high school students and I don't just I don't just talk to them I'm always

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interactive with them I'm always asking them questions what they think

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um and and getting their feedback and I love that because I really like to hear you know where their minds are and and

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be able to respond accordingly and I think it's important because when I'm talking to a crowd I'm always

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interactive with anybody even with adults as well I like to be interactive because

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I need to understand where your brain is I can better respond to you if I understand where your brain cells are

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working yeah you know and so if I if I get responses from people that tells me

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where to go because if you're over here I don't want to be talking over there because I can't reach you there that's

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not where you are you're over here so I believe in reaching people where they are whether coaching whether I'm speaking to you what I used to you and

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know this but I used to tutor math is to teach and tutor math and English as a second language

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um and with both of those I would always especially math I would find out where my math students brain was like how does

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your brain function how do you think how do you break things apart you know how does your brain process information once

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I observe that and I understood how their brain process information I taught them math from where the brain was already working

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and then got them to understand the mathematical Concepts then we'll bring in the formulas and all the names and

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all the details that they try to shove in your down your throat because people hate math

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I love math but I get it people who love math love it absolutely I do I do I love

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it um you know I'm a I'm a trainer fitness trainer and so that's kind of how I

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because that's kind of how I try to connect you know what I'm saying if I'm if I'm training someone during the

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session then we'll talk you know I'm very open to listen to people people kind of pour their heart

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out to their trainers like you know they in that in that moment and they working out between those sets they'll tell me

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problems that they haven't or whatever and I'll try to give some kind of advice or whatever and I've trained like high

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school kids and I consider being a teacher at one point but

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the way my the what I don't know if I care enough unfortunately like you know what I'm saying it's like the kids who I

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can't get to I don't know if I if I got an enemy to try to nurture that kid and get him to

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understand what I'm saying I'm just gonna focus on the ones who want to learn and I don't know if that's the right way to do it with those with with

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a group of kids like yeah well that's okay because we're not all

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built for the same thing yeah I'm we're not all built for the same thing I couldn't be a personal trainer because I

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would just be like throwing dumbbells around I'm good

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yeah um uh I was gonna ask on your on your

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podcast you were talking about culture and I think you were saying

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you pull different parts of culture like into yourself kinda oh

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um well multiculturalism in a way um I think you're referring to the fact

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that I love foreigners I probably said that well um

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I love learning from people who are not like me okay yeah so I I really do so one of the

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reasons I love foreigners and I've said this in public speaking I like foreigners better than Americans

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but here's why it's not because I don't Americans it's nothing like that it's I love

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foreigners because I have something to learn from them I you know as far as culture goes we're

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I'm American I grew up in America okay yeah what what next

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um but when it comes to foreigners I don't give you from Afghanistan Guatemala China Nigeria wherever you're

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from I didn't grow up where you did so I have something to learn from you that's just

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my personality I love I love people and I love learning about people so for that reason I love I love all I love learning

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about other cultures um if there's a room full of foreigners or a room full of Americans

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without a blink or without a blink I'm going in the room full of foreigners

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because I have more interesting conversations you know I I I'll and it's not like I can't have interesting

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conversations with you know the room full of Americans because they're all human at the end of the day and I like humans but but

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um but yeah I love I love learning from other people and I really think that

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more of us especially and I'm talking especially about Americans we are some of the most closed-minded people on

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Earth and we don't even see it everybody else in the world sees it but we don't and I don't know that I would see it

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either if I hadn't worked within the foreigners to understand it and also working you know teaching English as a

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second language I learned a lot more about uh America than than being

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American you know because I got to hear other people's perspectives and I think

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it's so important if we want to have balanced Minds we have to be willing to

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be around or at least listen to people who are not just like us because if you

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got your 12 people that you hang out all talk about the same thing all the time with the same thoughts and same same

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that is and that's that's just dead that's an area where there cannot be any

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growth and I'm a very growth minded person I always have been a very focused

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on girl so if I can't grow I can't stay there and I can't be around people who

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are just like me even though I can be around people who are amazing and awesome but if they're all just like me that's boring I need to be around a

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variety of people because I have something to learn from from people it don't just mean whether or not they're

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foreigners I need someone who I don't know they're a janitor at a high school but man does he have some life

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wisdom that I can hear from him when he's talking you know what I mean or this person who's over here and they're

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multi-billionaire I can learn how do they how do they think what thinking LED them to be a

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multi-billionaire I might want to hang out with them because I want to hear how they think you know what I mean there's just there's something that we can all

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gather from somebody and I think especially when it comes to politics we're so polarized to this country and

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very imbalanced um that's something I talk about a lot and I use it as a great example of imbalance because it's one of the most

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obvious ones that we could see it you know as American citizens um we we go to the extremes and we're

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like well if you're not a Democrat if you're a republican you're automatically a racist and blah blah blah blah

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you know and and that's not true there are people who are Republican who are amazing people who are friends of mine

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who are awesome and then there's the Other Extreme where if you're a Democrat well you're just an

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airhead you're just the world is lives on a bubble woohoo you know that's the other uh stereotype

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for um that you have you know about the Liberals of the Democrats and the truth is that there's some truth to that in

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both parties absolutely but is that that's is that all of them I was it it's not even half the parties yeah it is

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extremes on but there's extremes on both sides oh absolutely absolutely me when I

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by the time I started voting which I voted in like

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I think like three elections now like my first vote was uh uh after Obama after

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his uh term and so when I started voting and I started like kind of researching

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and stuff it made me kind of realize like okay I don't think I have a party like I don't if I decide that I'm

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picking all the time like I don't support either one fully nope either

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I'll tell you about myself I used to be a republican before little boy Trump got

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on the stage yeah and that's what I referred to him as little boy Trump so when little boy Trump got on the stage I

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it just brought out too much to light and I was like I can't associate with this party but I also can't be over

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there with with the dingbat party so so I I'm just an independent now and I'm in

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a state where I can't vote in primaries that was actually the only reason I went to Republican is because I wanted to

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vote in primaries because I'm in New York state and you have to pick one or the other

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um and so uh an independent uh party is not no longer recognized in New York state it was but it's not but I don't

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care anymore I just don't want to be associated with either one and I know again I know Wonderful uh politicians

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and people in both parties who are awesome they're not extremes they're not no jobs

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but unfortunately it's the nut jobs who have been the mouthpieces of both parties in the recent years and so it's

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it's become difficult to to associate with either one so um but I think that

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more and more Americans are like us honestly from when it's just in talking to people what I see I think more and

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more Americans are really tired of all the extraness now like you everything is social media

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is like super heavy every time somebody say something it's posted a thousand

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times so it's like you can't get away from it like when Joe Biden said they cured cancer the other day it's like

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he said it and it's there and he just and it's all over the place 100 million

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views on you we know if you if we're using our brains and watching we know what he meant yeah but but when we Flip

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It Up everything is taken to the extremes and yeah that's part of a a

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malfunctioning Society where you have mostly extremities and there's no

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balance I told you everything in life that works has balance and everything that's not working something's out of

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balance and until we gain balance in our in our society we're we're just gonna keep

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malfunctioning like we are but gain balance as a society we can but only if

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we decide to do it with intention and we decide to do it together I can't do it by myself you can't do it by yourself

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none of us no and it's not the president's job either president's one person we don't have a system set up for

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just one person to rule us this isn't a kingdom and that's what people don't get they're like oh the president the president is a very important position

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but it is not the only position and there's some things that actually they don't have as much power he or she is

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not going to have as much power so it's like yes it matters but there's so many other things that matter that we we're

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not considering we need to take into perspective and I will keep preaching that word that you know we need to be we

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need to stop being so polarized and start being balanced and actually be willing to listen to each other and you

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know I don't have to agree with you um but I should at least give your give

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your perspective a chance because even if I don't end up agreeing with you maybe 10 of what you said

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it's something for me to think about it might be true and it could sway your thoughts so that you have balanced

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thinking instead of the wacko thinking that we see now I know some people probably got upset

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I'm talking about the party but hey the truth is truth when you said um you know you have to consider other people's

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perspective and things like that it made me think of me and my me and one of my friends

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the debate was stupid the debate doesn't matter but what he was talking about was he said he doesn't

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take stances on things that involve opinion he's he he classified himself as a

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chaotic neutral have you ever heard it is it's a way of avoiding

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avoiding uh it's a way of avoiding he he did not he wouldn't pick a side in a

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debate he said nobody is wrong it all depends on how you

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look at things and I'm like okay I get that

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but I'm a person who has to take a stance if it's if it's opinionated

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I'll think about it this way and I'm not going to fight the other side but I am

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going to stay on this side about whatever it is and that's the thing and that's okay it is okay that we don't

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agree on everything right I mean I have some some one of my and I'll tell you one of my

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favorite teachers since ancient times

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that I'm aware of is my Dr Miles Monroe he died in 2014. he is phenomenal and he

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has you know indirectly mentored me in many ways

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um just he's very very deep he's a Christian preacher but he talked about more than just church stuff he was very

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very deep um but even with him I agree with every single thing he said

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yeah and that's okay I still agree with a good portion of what he said and I still

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um have a lot of respect for him that doesn't mean we have to agree on everything you know it it really is okay

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and like you said um yes we want to hear other people's perspective it doesn't mean that you

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need to float over to their side just you know and it is okay yeah and I think

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more people need to understand that um with my podcast um

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I'm gonna have teenagers on who will tell their opinions about things what's different about my podcast though is I

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don't bow down to political correctness I don't know if you were able to listen to my Prelude or not but no politically

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correct on my show like I literally say that um because

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and this is another topic I don't know if you already had it on your questions or not but I think we kind of talked

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about it a little bit um I know what you're trying to say

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that uh political correctness is has been choking it's choking our generation

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of Youth that is one of the major motivations for me to start my podcast

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okay our teenagers right now are growing up in a world that we have left them

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that's just freaking messed up okay we have left them a bowl of and now we

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want them to bake a cake with it what the hell yeah and I'll tell you what I mean by that

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there's a lot of ways in which we've done that but the the part the piece that I'm talking about right now is the

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the way that political correctness has become a Hitler of our society it is like a dictatorship and I do liken

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it to Hitler in this way I will kill you if you don't bow down to my agenda I

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will kill you if you don't disagree three I might not physically kill you but I'm gonna kill you on social media

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I'm gonna kill you reputation I'm gonna kill your opportunity to be on TV I'm gonna kill kill kill I'm gonna murder

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you if you don't agree with my agenda and that's where we are as a society

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that's bad that's really really really bad and here's why it's so bad and why I'm so passionate about it because I see

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the damage that it's doing to our youth you know I I love kids I love teenagers

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it's why I work with them so much I love them I have a passion for them I see them all as my kids

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and and I don't mean my kids in terms of ownership I mean my kids in terms of care and concern you know I see them all

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as my kids and I care about them I care about their future because they're they are running this place they're going to

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be running this country if not the world in a few years we need to get them ready

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for that and we have it so political correctness is choking them because when we for the first time in

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this country in the for the first time in this country in the way that it is right now

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we have a generation growing up who does not know how to have productive

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conversations I'm gonna say it again they do not and

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this is generally I'm not talking about every teen of course but I mean as a culture they do not know

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how to have productive conversations and what I mean by that is they're being

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taught to focus on who they're offending instead of who

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they're helping those are two different things uh the non-productive conversation is

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well let me have a conversation where we won't offend anybody here you go

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that was the whole conversation [Laughter] yeah right you you can't not be honest

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and real and and not offend somebody that's not gonna happen so now you you

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can be sensitive I'm not saying that we need to go to the Other Extreme either and just be rude and obnoxious

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being racist and gay bashing and all that yeah we don't that's just there's you don't be obnoxious don't be rude

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being aware of other people's sensitivities is a good thing and being aware of other people's sensitivities is

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a smart thing because why offend a whole room if you don't have to now sometimes I will go out of my way to say something offensive to make a point

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um but then I usually will bring it back um but it's it's all it's those extremities but

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anyway when it comes to the political correctness it's choking them because now we have a generation that is being

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told not always directly but through action because most of what we hear is

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action not words you know most people don't realize that but it's true um they're you know they're being told

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you know be careful what you say because you're going to get canceled kind of a thing

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yeah and you can't have a productive conversation without uncomfortableness

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without you just can't you know if there's a problem that we need to solve and the problem is that I'm rude to all

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the customers and that's why you're losing business well that's a conversation we you know if I'm I'm working in your store I'm just making up

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an example I'm working in your store and I'm a good worker but I'm rude to your customers and it's making you lose

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business well that's a problem and that's a problem that you have to address with me there's no way to comfortably address that with me it has

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it's going to be an uncomfortable conversation and that's the thing is that we have a generation of Youth that are being trained beat in their head be

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politically correct be politically correct bow down to and worship my emotions people don't think about it

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this way but I I put it that way because it's harsh and and to the point bow down to my emotions or I will cancel

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you that is not that no that's not if there's an elephant in the room let's

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talk about the damn elephant in the room before he tears up the damn house instead of pretending like it's not there we can't talk about the elephant

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in the room because Sasha's gonna get sensitive because that's her emotional support elephant no let's get the

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elephant out the room let's talk about how we're gonna do it let's get together have a conversation first let's recognize the elephants in a room and

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then let's figure out together how we're going to solve the problem of the elephant in the room

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but our youth today are not being they're not even being allowed to have that conversation because even when they

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go to school or or any public forum you know it's like oh

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don't say this don't say that don't say this and even when they go to school and they might have teachers that really listen to them or counselors or

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principal whoever whatever staff's in the school and they really listen to the kids and they really care they're not

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allowed to be real with them yeah how can they solve problems they're they're watching and I and I know because I go

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into schools and I see and I hear the frustration from from school administrators from staff of all

30:49

kinds not just teachers who get very frustrated because they genuinely care about the kids they really want to help

30:55

them but they're not allowed to okay for many reasons primarily bureaucratic

31:03

and it's one of the reasons I don't work in the school I go to schools I work in

31:09

schools I work with schools I refuse to work for a school because you got to do you got to kind of go in a system you

31:15

gotta do it and their systems are what's screwing up our kids and why so much of the world are more advanced than we are

31:22

right now you know what I what I try to do um as far as like with my own kids I try

31:27

to do how my mom kind of did it where if I got something to say that could be

31:33

offensive like just tell her and like she told and I tell my kids like tell me like you

31:40

know even like and they're young so like it's small things like if we go somewhere and

31:46

somebody cooked and they don't like the food you don't spit it out and say oh my God

31:52

this is nasty yeah just just tell me you know yeah so they'll come they'll come

31:57

to me Daddy I'm like huh like I don't like this yeah well that you're right that's that's a good way to to

32:04

teach them to do that but yeah now because then when they get older they'll realize okay I can say what I want to

32:11

say but I know that this person might not like it yeah and

32:16

it's not necessarily to to be like your food sucks okay maybe

32:22

not necessary to say it because then that's just for what root now that comes to you and says what do you think of my food

32:27

and tell them the truth don't don't sugar coat it you know don't sugarcoat

32:33

and tell them it's chocolate tell them the truth because we get enough of that in our society but anyway

32:38

um as you can tell I'm very passionate that's a good thing um it could be as a as a Mind Shifter

32:45

and podcaster you know I mean I appreciate that absolutely

32:50

um and it kind of leads me to the next thing I was going to ask you and I was going to ask which I probably know the answer now are

32:57

you on the side of Truth all the time like I am no matter what like truth should be

33:03

told even when it's uncomfortable okay but here's the thing when it comes to my

33:08

coaching clients I right off the bat you can see I'm very

33:14

transparent I I make it a point to be very transparent when people are not

33:19

transparent it's easier to not trust them even if they're honest but the

33:24

appearance of you hiding something just it automatically perturbs people

33:30

um so I'm I try to be as transparent as I can because I think it's important and I need people to trust me

33:36

um but when I meet with people they already know they're not getting soft-spoken Sally

33:42

that that's not me actually that's not true it is me sometimes because sometimes it's necessary so there are

33:48

times where I'll hug you you can cry on my shoulder and I'll give you very soft-spoken counsel and I'll be that you

33:54

know loving mother loving friend whatever you need in that moment that's a part of me too

34:00

but you're you're going to get told like it is and if you can't handle that then

34:05

you can't handle me we're not a match and you should move on like I'm I'm not one of those people that's I'm very

34:11

direct about it um but I can you know but people usually come to me because I am a toe like it is

34:18

person they know that there's no people in your life at least no with me they know there's no my my

34:24

really close friend who I call my brother from another mother even he says that he's like that's why he he and I

34:31

can talk to each other we can tell each other what's real and give each other real opinions because we we know that

34:36

it's coming from a loving place and if he corrects me I listen because I know it's coming from a loving place and we

34:43

one thing we appreciate about it appreciate about each other is we just sound like it is you know if what you did was stupid I'm gonna tell you it was

34:49

stupid but then I'm gonna encourage you at the same time and I might not use the word stupid I might say it in a different way but you know I'm just oh

34:56

you know over generalizing it right now but if what you did was bad or not good we may say that I was like you know what

35:02

you you shouldn't have said that as a woman I would have kicked you in the teeth I've said that to my male friend so as a

35:09

woman you said it to me I would punch you in the head but but uh you know but then tell but then

35:15

I'll give the Inc but that's always followed by the encouraging words with me it's you can't just give them negative without giving them

35:21

but um but I do think it's very important to um to be honest all the time because

35:26

here's the thing and I'll tell you why and this is something that's a whole nother subject I'm going to make a whole video on it later but

35:33

it's very important uh to be honest when it especially when

35:38

it hurts and when it's inconvenient um and I say that because if you have

35:45

someone who's always oh I'm so nice and smiley to everybody and you're all

35:51

special in your own way everything's pretty and everybody's good all the time

35:57

yeah um when you when you have somebody who's like that all the time they never insult anyone they never ever

36:05

ever tell anyone the negative the problem is when that same person

36:10

has something important to say to you you're not going to receive it because

36:15

you're going to think it's more and that's the thing is when people are fake nice it's actually does more harm

36:23

than good and some people do it because they've been taught to do it or they're doing it with good intention and I do

36:30

think most of the time it does come from a good place they're like well I don't want to be hurtful or harmful so let me

36:35

just tell them it was good but I'll give you this example you're going to go on American Idol or American Got Talent or

36:40

whatever the next show is and you're going to go on there and You're Gonna Go sing and you sound

36:46

like a frog being murdered if I'm your friend I am not going to let

36:53

you go out there and embarrass you yeah yeah like if they're my friend they ain't going out like that because because I'm gonna stop them we're

37:00

getting you know and and it doesn't mean that they don't have talent because maybe they need voice lessons maybe they need to you know learn how to time their

37:06

breath there's a lot of different or maybe that maybe they don't have bad Talent yeah

37:12

um maybe they don't have that Talent nine times out of ten though it's just usually it's it's something like they need lessons they need more development

37:19

for talent that they already have and maybe that's the case but you need somebody to be honest with you and instead of letting you go out

37:24

embarrassed yourself yeah if I care about you I'm not gonna I'm not I'm not man but I like that yeah and now you

37:31

viral because you sounding like like you said a frog being a murderer like nah I also wanna I also want to give a little

37:37

side piece to that that I think is important to say um one of the reasons why we aren't honest

37:45

all the time um well first you don't need to be honest

37:51

100 of the time and what I mean by that is if you just said everything that came in your head

37:58

you wouldn't have any friends yeah if

38:05

you speak your mind or give your opinion on every single thing necessary uh to

38:10

say something all the time but if there's an issue it is 100 necessary to be honest if someone's asking your

38:16

opinion it's 100 necessary to be honest and if someone comes to you for coaching they're looking for your opinion your

38:22

input your guidance so you need to be 100 honest um but the other part that I was going

38:28

to say to that is um one of the reasons people aren't honest isn't because

38:35

they don't see what's wrong and they don't see or they don't know what they need to say it's because it's

38:41

uncomfortable to say it it's um I don't want to deal with your reaction to me

38:46

telling you that your drawing wasn't good enough

38:51

so I'm going to tell you that it's good if you go and submit that drawing to a contest and you lose and your hopes and

38:58

dreams are dashed I think that's not a good friend if I if I know that it's not as not your

39:06

best and it could be better I better tell you so that you because I want the best for you I'll be I'll tell you

39:11

something else I had a I have a friend who is uh a news anchor

39:18

I asked her opinions about my first episode about the podcast so far

39:25

she gave me her honest opinion and it wasn't all good but I appreciate it because her opinion because her feedback

39:32

will make my future podcasts better yeah and and I appreciate that you know but

39:39

that's also why I asked her because I knew that I would get a real I would get a real response from her and she even

39:44

said to me she's like girl I want to see you successful so here it is you know and we all need those kind of friends in

39:50

our life you know I've opened up a lot of my podcasts saying how grateful I am for the feedback and

39:57

things like that like I accept all feedback even if it's considered negative or whatever because I just want

40:03

to know what people think about it because that's why I'm putting it out right right and I mean I've had friends

40:09

comment on it family tell me what they think and it's not always like you said

40:14

like it's not always good you know but I just want to hear

40:20

the honesty about it if we want to progress we have to put ego aside and

40:25

unfortunately that does take a certain level of maturity to recognize that and implement it

40:31

and some people are still living under ego and when you're living under ego you

40:39

have put a ceiling on your success you can't get past that so the second somebody says something you don't like

40:45

you you well I don't need to be your friend anyway I won't hear what you think anyway you know you start just you know

40:51

acting silly about it and we can't not just as podcasters but leaders of

40:57

any kind um whether you're an entrepreneur a podcaster a politician whatever it is

41:02

we have to be able to take positive feedback I mean constructive criticism it's important that we get it because

41:08

you can't get better you know the person like I said going to American Idol it sounded like a frog being murdered

41:16

and you're gonna let them go out and embarrass himself like that you ain't no friend yeah

41:23

um you know I'm I'm actually kind of careful sometimes about what I call

41:30

exposing my spirit to like strangers or whatever but there

41:36

are times there's been times where there could be a conversation going on and I'm in the environment and people

41:43

will like ask me for my opinion on something that I really don't want to share on because I know my thoughts

41:48

already are like yep it's not going to be accepted like I know it's not and I hope they don't ask me and I'm and I'm

41:54

having thoughts I'm you know I could be doing some over here I'm listening I hear them talking and I and I know my family okay and I'm saying it in my head

42:00

though and it seemed like it always somehow like man let's ask Keon and then they

42:07

come ask me and then now I have to give my true thoughts on this thing and it's

42:13

just not at all on either side of what they talking about yeah I know and it could be uncomfortable because you're

42:19

like I really don't please don't ask me yeah but at the end of the day the honesty is still needed because even

42:25

though it might be uncomfortable to be honest and you know you might hurt some feelings obviously that's not the goal

42:31

you don't want to hurt people's feelings but if they're asking you your opinion You Gotta Give It Gotta Give it because

42:39

after a while they might even if they get upset at first

42:45

after a while they'll come back and be like you know what I respect you being honest with me you know and I've had people do that to

42:51

me I'm less concerned about reaction and

42:57

more concerned about results most people get stuck on the surface of reaction

43:04

and not in the longevity of results so sometimes I will say things that

43:10

might be offensive that might seem harsh I don't care I care about results I care about you getting what's best for you

43:17

and even if that means that you don't like me right now you'll get over it because you get over it when you realize

43:25

that I was that I was right or that what I said was was helpful if you implement it and if you don't want to realize that

43:31

you want to stay in your own ego then that's your problem and it'll continue to be your problem but not just with me

43:37

you know what I mean I recognize that something else I used to I used to um you you wouldn't know this but I used

43:43

to work at Job Corps do you know anything about Job Corps oh yeah yeah okay I used to run a whole dorm of females

43:50

imagine a whole dorm of 35 to 100 teenage girls no way you're strong

43:58

yeah I did that um and you know many of them are still friends with me to this day and it's

44:04

been many many years since I left I love them though I really did love my students but

44:09

working with them is an example of what I mean oh my God I'm like Miss Bay they would get so

44:16

pissed because I was a hard ass but at the same time the first person they run to when they need a shoulder to cry on

44:23

when they need to talk about something serious confess things that were pretty devastating

44:29

and you know many of them nowadays have come back to me in years since and they

44:35

appreciate it but at the time they were pissed off at me

44:40

because it's the same mentality their reaction was to be pissed off at me but

44:48

the results was that I was able to say and do things that changed their lives that I was able to plant seeds that

44:54

pissed them off at the time because it was uncomfortable but those seeds that were planted are still producing crops

45:00

today that's what matters too many of us are so worried about people's reaction

45:09

but not at all look not at all looking at what could be the final results of that what is the long-term result of

45:16

that something that God showed me about myself I'm a seed sewer that's what I'm built to do I am meant to be a seed

45:23

sewer I plant seeds so as a Mind Shifter I plant seeds in your brain I plant seeds in your mind and so my mentality

45:32

is goes with that because I naturally think that way because I meant to uh you

45:37

know a person a person who has a farm and they're planting seeds has to know

45:43

what crops they want before they plant their seeds they can't just look at the seed planting itself and say stay that

45:50

small-minded and look at a month from now that they don't see the crops that they want

45:55

that's that's that's small that's small um you gotta look at the bigger picture of okay what I want to plant corn so

46:03

this is the time of the year I need to do it I need to put the seeds in this way I need to water it blah blah blah all the details that come along with

46:09

whatever you're trying to plant um and sometimes we don't think of it that way when we're dealing with other

46:15

people um I think it's important to be honest as a friend I'm sorry but if you can't be honest with me as my

46:22

friend we don't need to be friends yeah you know what I mean if you have for the listeners out there

46:28

just want to give this little tidbit of advice if you have friends that make you walk on eggshells

46:34

you need to start walking on eggshells you need to find some new friends nobody should ever have to work I don't

46:40

mean that you don't have uncomfortable moments I don't mean that you don't have arguments or disagreements that's a natural part of being a human being but

46:46

I mean all the time you just can't say anything at all around them then what the hell you're friends with them for you you won't live your life walking on

46:53

eggshells I'm not you know you none of us should do that none of us should do that yeah

47:01

um there was something else I wanted to oh I was just going to say that um

47:06

like for me well that's okay with you you know I'm

47:12

saying finding your purpose there was a point not long ago where I was like I found

47:20

myself like okay what am I doing like you know I'm working you know I was

47:26

having kids and stuff and you know even I mean I got married everything and I was just like okay but

47:32

what I'm what am I what's my like purpose like what am I trying to do here because this is a life and you got one

47:39

to live and you got to do whatever it is in this life you gotta do it whatever it

47:44

is and I found myself trying to like figure it out and at a certain

47:50

point and I don't know if it's correct but I decided that

47:56

the purpose of my life was to live it like a gift

48:03

um and just you know there are things that I want to do and I and I said to myself whatever I want to do I'm going

48:10

to do it like whatever it is I'm just gonna do it and it's

48:16

it's a it's whatever I'm supposed to do I'm doing it to go towards my end goal

48:23

and I have goals in my life but whatever it is along the way I just got to do it so I can get there

48:29

you know we can sit there and look at a map of Florida but looking at a map ain't gonna help us get there

48:35

and so many people were looking at the map like I hope one day to get there

48:42

still sitting there you gotta get in the car or something you gotta get the car I gotta put a plan together you know and

48:48

and and plans are going to change as we as we travel around the road to to our our

48:54

goals it's okay that plans change it really is okay you just you know if a

49:00

boulder big giant rock falls and build a Road detour it doesn't mean you're not going to get there it just means you

49:06

decide a different route to get there and and that's really okay that's really what life is about and honestly if we

49:12

don't have those Boulders if we don't have the challenges how the hell are you going to grow yeah

49:19

there are so many people out there who have substance but they're hiding it because they don't think it'll be

49:25

accepted and I and I see it all the time and I'll point it out to people a point

49:31

you know I will point it out to people within reason because it's not always welcomed you

49:36

know but um if I feel like it's okay to say so I will I say stuff to strangers that most

49:42

people wouldn't dare say because I see things and I'll I will kind of gauge whether or not it'll be accepted or

49:49

utilized you know what I mean um some people still have walls up and so you can't say anything to them and

49:55

it's true um but sometimes I'll just like tell truth when it's like

50:00

with you know people I know or like if I'm on my podcast talking or whatever but

50:05

as I'm walking around like strangers people like people can do

50:11

things that is so like not right right in front of me um Turned another way like I don't

50:18

I don't talk to people out here's the thing about that

50:24

it's we want to be bold we want to be blunt we want to speak up and we want to be honest but we also have to use wisdom

50:34

balance in fact wisdom is based on balance wisdom is knowing what to do and

50:40

when and how to do it I'm shortening the definition of it and wisdom means you

50:48

know when to go ahead and speak up and when not and it's not an automatic thing that you

50:54

just you know light ball you know ball of light fell from the sky oh you're

51:00

magic now you're perfect it's learned it's learned a lot of the wisdom in life is learned and we have to learn

51:07

what battles the fight so I may disagree with something you just said but I don't need to sit here

51:13

and not have an argument with you I don't need to sit here and spend my energy

51:18

correcting you when I can already see you are not willing to be corrected you

51:23

are not willing you are where you are because you want to be you're not going to hear anything else I ain't wasting my energy

51:29

now if you ask me a question I'm gonna tell you the truth but I'm not going to interject because it's not necessary

51:35

here's a here's a quote that I have and I have hundreds of quotes I'm going to be making products with them soon but um

51:42

one of them is talking about lying and being dishonest

51:47

you might make a dollar you might make a penny today but you're gonna lose dollars tomorrow

51:54

that's just another nugget and people don't think about that Bernie Madoff we could think of what Trump's going

52:00

through right now you could think of a lot of people that have sold these bad

52:05

seeds of Deceit and wonder why they reap destruction hey well look running up on

52:12

my time uh about time we get up out of here I Really Wanna I I appreciate you coming

52:19

on I'm definitely I'm I think I followed you on Spotify I'm pretty sure I did I subscribe to your YouTube I'm listening

52:25

I'm tuned in most definitely

52:31

I appreciate you for uh coming on well thank you for having me most definitely