Parents: The Conversation You're Not Having

Let's Talk

I hope you're sitting down. I need to have a hard conversation with you. And before you close this or tell yourself it doesn't apply to you, hear me out. Because what I'm about to say could change everything for your child. Or it could confirm what you already know but have been avoiding.

This isn't about judgment. This is about love. Love for you, love for your kids, and love for the future you're trying to build for them.

So let's talk about the conversations you're not having. The ones you keep putting off because they're uncomfortable. The ones you tell yourself can wait. The ones you avoid because you don't want to "expose" your child to things they're "too young" to understand.

Here's reality: those conversations you're avoiding? They're rolling out the red carpet for the worst things that can happen to them.

If It Already Happened

Before I go any further, I need to say this: if something has already happened to your child, if you're reading or listening to this and carrying the weight of "I should have said something sooner," I see you.

I'm not here to add to your guilt. What's done is done, and you can't go back and change it. But here's what you can do: you can take the lesson and apply it everywhere else. You still have influence. You still have time in other areas of their life. Don't let regret paralyze you from protecting what you can still protect. This conversation is for what's ahead, not what's behind.

Let's Talk About What You're Not Talking About

There are two conversations I want to focus on, and I'm choosing these specifically because one is so heavy you can't ignore it, and the other is so overlooked most parents don't realize the damage until it's too late.

1. Child molestation and sexual abuse.
2. Financial literacy and money.

Stay with me. I know one of those feels way more urgent than the other, but by the end of this, you'll see why both matter equally.

The Conversation About Bodies and Boundaries

Let me be blunt: if you're not talking to your child about their body, about boundaries, about what's appropriate and what's not, about who should never touch them and how to tell you if someone does - you're leaving them vulnerable.

And I don't care if that makes you uncomfortable. Your discomfort is not more important than their safety.

Here's what most parents don't want to hear: This isn't 1984. Your child is not growing up in the innocent world you grew up in. The average 8-year-old today understands things we didn't learn until we were teenagers. They're seeing things, hearing things, exposed to things through their friends, through school, through a screen you thought was safe.

You want to protect their innocence? Then protect it by preparing them. Because if you don't have that uncomfortable conversation first, someone else will. And that someone might have the worst intentions.

Predators don't look like monsters. They look like family friends, coaches, teachers, neighbors, relatives. They're patient. They're strategic. And they rely on your silence to operate.

When you don't talk to your kids about their bodies, when you don't give them language for what's happening, when you don't create a safe space for them to tell you uncomfortable things, you're making it easier for abuse to happen and harder for them to ask for help.

I'm not saying this to scare you. I'm saying this because I care too much about your kids to let you keep avoiding it. I hope you hear me.

Have the conversation. Teach them the real names for their body parts. Tell them no one, and I mean no one, should be touching them in ways that feel wrong. Tell them that if someone does, they can tell you and you won't be mad at them. Tell them that some adults lie and say "this is our secret," and that those kinds of secrets should always be told.

Make yourself the safe place. Because if you're not, they'll carry that trauma alone. And by the time you find out, the damage is already done.

The Conversation About Money

Now let's talk about the thing many parents aren't even thinking about: money.

You're worried about keeping them safe physically, but are you teaching them how to be safe financially? Are you talking to them about how money works, how to manage it, how to save it, how not to destroy their future with debt before they're even 25? Probably not. Because most of us weren't taught that either, and we're still figuring it out ourselves.

But here's the thing: financial illiteracy destroys lives just as thoroughly as trauma does. It just does it slower and quieter.

Your kid is going to turn 18 and get bombarded with credit card offers. They're going to take out student loans without understanding what they're signing. They're going to make decisions about money that will follow them for decades. And if you haven't taught them, they're going to learn the hard way.

I've watched people ruin their credit by 22. I've seen young adults drowning in debt because no one ever taught them that you don't have to buy everything you want the second you want it. I've seen brilliant people stuck in jobs they hate because they can't afford to leave, all because no one taught them how money works when they were young enough for it to matter.

Talk to your kids about money. Let them see you budget. Teach them the difference between needs and wants. Show them how credit cards work and why debt is dangerous. Give them an allowance and let them make mistakes with small amounts now so they don't make catastrophic mistakes with big amounts later.

This isn't optional. This is foundational. And if you skip it because it feels awkward or you don't think you're good with money yourself, you're setting them up to struggle.

Why You Keep Avoiding These Conversations

I know why you're not having these talks. It's uncomfortable. It feels too heavy. You don't know how to start. You're worried you'll say the wrong thing or scare them or expose them to something they're not ready for.

But let me ask you this: is your discomfort really more important than their future? The conversation you're avoiding today because it's uncomfortable will be nothing compared to the conversation you'll have to have later when something terrible has already happened.

Sitting down with your 4-year-old and teaching them about body safety is uncomfortable. But you know what's more uncomfortable? Finding out someone hurt them and they didn't tell you because they didn't have the words or didn't think you'd believe them or thought it was somehow their fault.

Teaching your teenager about credit and debt is awkward. But you know what's more awkward? Watching them call you at 24, crying because they're drowning in debt and don't know how they got there.

The hard conversation now is lightweight. The consequences of not having it are crushing.

Your Kids Are Not Too Young

I'm going to destroy this lie right now: your child is not too young.

If they're old enough to be on a tablet, they're old enough to learn about online predators. If they're old enough to have friends, they're old enough to learn about boundaries. If they're old enough to want things, they're old enough to start learning about money.

You don't have to give them graphic details. You don't have to overwhelm them. But you do have to start the conversation in age-appropriate ways and keep building on it as they grow.

Because the world isn't waiting for you to feel ready. The world is already teaching your kids things you wish they didn't know. Wouldn't you rather be the one framing it, guiding it, giving them the tools to navigate it safely?

What Happens When You Don't

Here's the price of avoidance:

• It costs your child their voice. When you don't talk about hard things, they learn that hard things can't be talked about. So when something bad happens, they stay quiet.
• It costs them their safety. Predators thrive in silence. Financial predators, too. When kids don't know what to look for, they're easy targets. Really easy.
• It costs them years of their life. Years spent in therapy trying to heal from preventable trauma. Years spent digging out of preventable debt.
• And it costs you the relationship. Because when they needed you to be brave enough to have the hard conversation and you weren't, they learn they can't come to you with hard things.

The Conversation Today

So here's what I need you to do: pick one conversation you've been avoiding and have it this week.

Not next month. Not when they're older. This week. If you don't know how to start, start messy. Start imperfect. Start with "Hey, I need to talk to you about something important, and I'm not great at this, but it matters."

Your kids don't need you to be perfect. They need you to be present. They need you to be brave enough to say the uncomfortable thing because you love them more than you love your comfort.

I also need you to know this: having these conversations doesn't guarantee a fairytale ending. It doesn't mean nothing bad will ever happen. But it does build trust. It does reduce the likelihood of the worst outcomes. And it does give your kids a fighting chance.

Isn't that worth 20 minutes of discomfort?

What I Need You to Hear

I'm not saying this to beat you down. I'm saying this because I want better for our kids, and I know you do too.

The regret of not having these conversations is heavier than the discomfort of having them. The "I wish I had said something sooner" will haunt you in ways that "I'm glad I had that awkward talk" never will.

Your children are worth your discomfort. They're worth you being brave. They're worth you showing up even when it's hard.

So sit down with them. Have the conversation. Be the safe place. Teach them what they need to know. Prepare them for a world that isn't going to wait for you to feel ready.

Because the alternative, the silence, the avoidance, the "maybe later"; that's what rolls out the red carpet for the worst things that can happen to them.

Don't let your discomfort cost them their safety, their future, or their trust in you. You can do hard things. And this hard thing could save their life.

The conversation you're avoiding today could prevent a lifetime of pain tomorrow. 

Fatima Bey The MindShifter

International Speaker, Coach & Creator of the MindShift Universe