Desensitized to Pain: Recognizing and Breaking Harmful Patterns

Fatima Bey The MindShifter • May 21, 2019

If this made you think, it could do the same for someone else. Pass it on.

Close-up of sewing machine with overlay text from The MindShifter on breaking harmful, desensitized patterns.

The Accidental Sewing Incident

I'm a professional seamstress. I make and design wedding gowns, among other things. The other day I was vigorously working on a wedding gown. Due to making a deadline, I was working fast. The particular sewing I was doing required my hands to move freely near the sewing machine needle. Guess what I did. Yep, I sewed right into my pointer finger! I yelled an expletive and immediately pulled my hand away before the blood came out. I got up, cleaned it off, put a band-aid on it, made sure there was no blood and went back to sewing. Yes, the needle went past my nail and into my finger!


The Painful Reality

Look at that needle in this photo. Imagine that going into your finger. Ouch! It was extremely painful, yet I wasn't even mad. I wasn't even thinking about it a few minutes later. I had already moved on to what I needed to do next.


Becoming Desensitized to Pain

As someone who's been sewing professionally for many years, it is common to get scratches or cuts from scissors, needles, pins, and all the other sharp things we use. So much so that I often find scratches on my arms and hands that I don't even remember getting. I'm just used to it. I'm so used to it that I didn't even freak out, cry or make a big deal about that needle sewing into my finger. Sure, it hurt a lot, but I'm used to it.


When Numbness Becomes Normal

As I continued to sew, I began to think about how I went on as if it were nothing. How often in life do you ignore pain because you're "used to it"? How often do you become numb to the very thing that is causing damage and hurting you because it's so commonplace for you?


The Cycle of Accepted Harm

Why is it okay that he abuses you? The wounds heal, right? You're used to it. Why is it okay that they constantly talk down to you? It's no big deal. You're used to it. Right? Why do you keep getting into the same type of bad relationships? It's what you're used to. You don't even notice anymore.


Pain as a Warning System

This is all bad. It's bad when you've become desensitized to your own demise. When God created us He did a magnificent job! One of those things was creating a body that science will never stop trying to understand. In our bodies, generally speaking, we experience pain when something is wrong. If we didn't experience pain, we would likely never fix the problem. The same is often true with life. Our emotional pain is an indicator of other and usually deeper things.


Breaking Free from Harmful Patterns

That painful thing that you're used to, perhaps it's time to get UN-used to it. Don't keep allowing that thing or person to continue to do damage to you. There are many ways in which this subject you can apply this subject to yourself. I am not talking to everyone with this post, but I am talking to many of you.


Taking Control of Your Wellbeing

Start paying attention to your pain. That's the only way you can begin to deal with it and uproot the problem. Don't wallow in self-pity either. That's just as bad. Decide today that you're no longer going to allow or accept your mistreatment, abuse or put-downs as just something you live with. You really don't have to. Whether you do or not is not up to anyone but you.


Fatima Bey The MindShifter

International Speaker, Coach & Creator of the MindShift Universe

Subscribe to  MindShift Weekly & The MindShifter Blog


MindShifter Audio Blog cover “Painting Happens One Brush Stroke at a Time” by Fatima Bey
By Fatima Bey The MindShifter March 27, 2026
Progress doesn’t look like progress at first. Learn why small actions matter, how to trust the process, and why you must stop judging unfinished work.
The MindShifter Audio Blog cover art with brain-tree logo on gold textured background, episode title
By Fatima Bey The MindShifter March 20, 2026
Religion can save you or destroy you. The difference is discernment. Is your faith empowering your healing or replacing it? It's time to ask yourself.
The MindShifter Audio Blog cover with brain logo and marble background, title
By Fatima Bey March 9, 2026
Stop giving the remote control of your emotions to people who don't know you. Why strangers' opinions shouldn't dictate your self-worth or life direction.
Fatima Bey quote about crushing fantasies and building dreams with blue background
By Fatima Bey February 26, 2026
Real friends crush your fantasies to help build your dreams. The difference between support that enables delusion and support that creates real growth.
Fatima Bey quote on judgment and empathy with decorative vase and flowers for The MindShifter Blog
By Fatima Bey The MindShifter February 21, 2026
We demand grace for our past but refuse to give it to others. A sarcastic look at the hypocrisy of judgment and why your embarrassing moments stayed private.
How Doug Died Without Hitting Rock Bottom
By Fatima Bey The MindShifter February 13, 2026
Doug didn’t collapse or spiral. He slowly stopped trying. A powerful reflection on quiet burnout, lost ambition, and the danger of giving up.
Quote by Fatima Bey The MindShifter about cultural programming shaping beliefs more than truth, show
By Fatima Bey The MindShifter February 6, 2026
You weren’t born believing what you believe. This MindShifter Audio Blog exposes how cultural programming shapes identity, worth, and truth before you ever choose.
Dear Young Black Man guest letter by Coach Ed Bradley for The MindShifter Audio Blog series
By Coach Ed Bradley January 29, 2026
A powerful MindShift letter to young Black men on identity, purpose, confidence, and legacy. A guest contributor audio blog featured in The MindShifter series.
Fatima Bey quote about integrity and keeping your word with floral design
By Fatima Bey The MindShifter January 21, 2026
If we can't take your words seriously, why would we take you seriously? A raw talk about integrity, broken promises, and the credibility crisis.
Show More