Unapologetically You: Why Your Standards Are Non-Negotiable

Unapologetically You: Why Your Standards Are Non-Negotiable

Have you ever been made to feel like your standards are too high? As if wanting what you deserve is somehow unreasonable or demanding? I have, and I'm here to tell you: stand firm. Your standards aren't just arbitrary preferences – they're the guardrails that protect the life you're meant to live.

The Architecture of Your Life

Think of your standards as the foundation of a house you're building. Would you use subpar materials just because someone told you that expecting quality was "too much"? Would you build on shifting sand because others said solid ground was "hard to find"? Of course not. You understand that compromising on your foundation means putting everything that comes after at risk.

Your life deserves the same careful consideration. The standards you set – in relationships, in work, in how you spend your time – are the blueprint for everything you'll build. Lowering them to accommodate others is like intentionally weakening your foundation to make someone else comfortable walking through your door.

Pressure to Lower the Bar

We live in a world where mediocrity often masquerades as "being realistic." Where settling is repackaged as "compromise." Where holding your ground is labeled as "difficult."

It's like standing in a slowly flooding room while everyone insists the water level is normal. After a while, you might start to wonder if they're right – maybe ankle-deep water is just part of life. Maybe expecting dry floors is, indeed, asking too much.

But here's the truth: someone else's willingness to wade through water doesn't mean you should accept wet socks. Their comfort with mediocrity doesn't invalidate your desire for excellence.

The Guilt Trip Manipulation

Perhaps the most insidious attack on your standards comes wrapped in guilt. "You're too picky." "You'll never be happy." "You're making others feel bad about themselves."

This manipulation is like someone trying to dim your lights because they've become comfortable in darkness. Instead of raising their own illumination, they'd prefer you lower yours to match.

Remember: your standards aren't weapons meant to harm others. They're shields designed to protect what matters to you. You aren't responsible for how someone else feels about the boundaries you set for your own life.

The False Economy of Lowered Standards

Lowering your standards might seem like an easy way to avoid disappointment or conflict in the moment. It's the path of least resistance – but that path leads somewhere you don't want to go.

It's like trading a thousand tomorrows for the comfort of today. Sure, you avoid the immediate discomfort of standing firm, but you pay for it with a future built on compromises you never wanted to make.

This false economy of lowered standards promises quick returns but bankrupts you slowly over time. Each standard you abandon is a small withdrawal from your self-respect, your authentic desires, your vision for your life.

Your Standards Are Your North Star

Your standards aren't arbitrary – they're the culmination of your values, experiences, desires, and wisdom. They're as unique to you as your fingerprint, and they serve as your North Star when life's pathways become confusing.

Think of them as your internal navigation system. When you compromise on them, you're essentially agreeing to get lost, to wander away from the direction your deepest self knows you should go.

Would you throw away your compass just because someone else prefers to wander? Would you ignore your map because someone told you being directionally flexible is more accommodating?

The Rarity Factor

High standards aren't common – that's precisely what makes them valuable. If everyone had them, they wouldn't be called "high" standards; they'd just be the norm.

It's like owning a rare gem in a world of ordinary rocks. Some will tell you the gem is unnecessary or unrealistic. They'll suggest you'd be happier with a rock like everyone else.

But the rarity of that gem doesn't make it less valuable – it makes it more precious. The uncommonness of your standards doesn't make them wrong – it makes them worth protecting.

The Respect Reflection

How you allow others to treat you becomes a mirror reflecting what you believe you deserve. Every time you accept less than your standards, you're looking into that mirror and affirming: "This is enough for me."

Is it, though?

Your standards aren't just about what you want from others – they're powerful statements about what you believe you deserve. They're declarations of your worth.

When someone suggests you should lower them, they're essentially saying: "I think you should believe you deserve less." Would you take financial advice from someone who wants you to be poorer? Then why take life advice from those who want you to expect less?

The Alignment Principle

When your actions align with your standards, there's a harmony to your life that nothing else can replicate. You move through the world with integrity, consistency, and authenticity.

It's like an orchestra where every instrument plays in the right key. Lowering your standards is like telling the violins to play off-key just because the cellos are struggling to find the right notes.

The result isn't harmony – it's discord. The solution isn't for the violins to play worse; it's for the cellos to rise to the occasion or find an orchestra better suited to their current capabilities.

Standing Firm Without Apology

Here's the bottom line: your standards are non-negotiable because they're the pure essence of what matters most to you. They're the boundaries that protect your peace, your growth, your joy, and your future.

You don't need to justify them, explain them, or apologize for them. You need only to honor them.

It's like being the guardian of a precious treasure. You didn't create the treasure's value – you simply recognize it and protect accordingly. Your standards reflect what you value, and that recognition deserves protection, not apology.

The Question That Changes Everything

So I leave you with this: What would your life look like if you stopped apologizing for your standards and started celebrating them instead? If you viewed them not as barriers to connection but as filters that ensure only the right people, opportunities, and experiences make their way to you?

What if your standards aren't too high, but rather, exactly where they need to be to create the life you truly deserve?

Stand firm. Remain unapologetic. Your standards aren't the problem – they're the solution.

Fatima Bey The MindShifter