Welcome to Mindshift Power podcast, a show for teenagers and the adults who work with them, where we have raw and honest conversations. I'm your host, Fatima Bey, the mind shifter. Hello, and welcome. Today on today's show, we have teenage girl. Her name is Janiyah.

She's 17 out of Amsterdam, New York, and she's going into her senior year of high school this year. And we're gonna talk about her journey over the past six months because this girl has done a complete flip around over the past six months. We're gonna talk about that and how it happened. I am so proud of her. I met Janiyah, at a girl's teenage a girl's group that I used to hold, called Blossoms, and it was specifically, a group for teenage girls to just vent and talk about their issues and come up with solutions amongst each other.

And, that's where I met Janiyah. And that was the first time that she opened up to really anybody, and got to know her from there and, from there ended up coaching her. And and those of you who don't already know, I am a mind shift coach. So as a mind shift coach, I'm a specially niche life coach. And what that means is that I really focused on shifting your thinking.

Before I give you any tools or anything else, I focus on your patterns of thinking and have you say and do things that shift them around. Then we talk about goals and everything else, but I focus on shifting your thinking first. And I've done that with Janiyah. So I'm gonna let you let her tell you, there's her her story just over the past six months. So, Janiyah, how are you doing?

Good. Now I want you to tell the audience listening, how did you feel about yourself and your future about six months ago? Six months ago, honestly, I was a lost soul. I didn't know who I was. I always doubted myself thinking like, yeah.

No. I'm not gonna get this I'm not gonna get through school. I'm not gonna go to college. I'm too dumb for this. Because I also even got told that, you know, other people that I was slow, spilled what's wrong with me, and all those negative comments about other peep what other people have to say about me.

I end up believing it, but now it's different ever since I met miss Bae. Yes. And, honestly, y'all, she's understating it. I'm gonna re I'm gonna resummarize it, Janai. You could correct me if I'm wrong.

But you had very low self esteem. Yes. That's right. Yeah. You didn't know who you were.

No. You didn't know that you had any value. No. You didn't even know that you have gifts. No.

I did not. I did not. And all that was what bullshit. Right? Yes.

Straight up not true. But it it is it is where you were. Also six months ago, how did you see your future? Honestly, I see myself as a teacher. I thought I was gonna be a teacher, but now, I'm not because I realized that I'm not born to be a teacher.

I'm actually born to be a family lawyer. She jumped right to it. So so six months ago, you you mentioned earlier you had you didn't even think you were gonna finish school, much less go to multiple years of college. Yeah. You didn't know that you had gifts.

You didn't know who you were. And I'm saying all of that because I know there's people out there listening right now who are where you were. And so now that it's six months later and the truth is it's six months later right now, but it was really within four months that all of this happened. So how do you see yourself now, and how do you see your future now? Now I can see my future because I have a plan.

So now after high after high school, I'm going to come going to college, and then I'm a get my bachelor's in psychology. And then after that, I'm gonna look into be look into law school and do my three years of law school. And then after that, that's when my career starts, and that's just how I see myself as now. Now you couldn't have said that six months ago. I couldn't.

我做不到。我真的做不到，因為以前的我，現在會想，什麼？你真的要這麼做嗎？真的嗎？你要上四年大學，拿到學士學位。

你要當律師。怎麼？你是認真的嗎？我明白。現在怎麼看待自己？

你之前說過，你覺得自己本質上很蠢。現在你一文不值了。現在怎麼看待自己？我注意到，甚至我都沒怎麼了解自己，我有很多值得珍惜的東西，而且我非常非常非常聰明。我不是那種書本知識淵博的人，但說到生活，例如社交，例如社交，我懂很多東西。

我在這方面非常非常聰明，因為當我和費伊小姐聊天時，她會問，『你擅長什麼？ ’她會問，『你擅長什麼？ 』『你喜歡做什麼？ 』她問了我很多問題，我心想，『為什麼這個女人會問我這個問題？我不知道自己有什麼優點。

Like, I'm just here. Like, I'm just here in this I'm here in this Earth. I don't I don't have no value. Like, I don't know nothing about myself. And then the more I was talking to her, she was like, you see things what other people don't see.

And then I didn't even notice that. So I'm like when I didn't know who I was, I was using special gifts, like, every day, like, every day, and I did not realize that was a special gift until I met miss Pei. So I wanna I wanna talk about that a little bit. And what Janae is talking about is that she was always put down for her way of thinking. She doesn't think like the average person her peers around her.

說實話，她比我認識的一些成年人更像個成年人。我只是實話實說。我最後也和她分享了這一點，但Janiah的思考方式與她的同儕不同。我能向她展示的是，她的思考方式其實是一種天賦。這不是詛咒，也不是需要被壓制的東西，而是我們其他人都需要的巨大祝福。

因為像她這樣的人，是創新者，是為我們其他人開闢道路的人。但問題是，像她這樣的人更多，他們沒有開闢道路，因為他們仍然認為自己愚蠢，一文不值。對此，我認為那根本不是事實。所以，請再多跟我們講講你的情況。你在六個月內從覺得自己一無是處，到意識到自己很了不起，知道自己很有天賦。

How did you find out that besides me just telling you that your your way of thinking is a gift, how did you discover some of your your your other gifts, some of your talents, some of the good things about yourself? So, basically, once you gave me that little push, because you didn't because, like, you knew all the things about me, but you wanted me to figure out what I wanted me. Yes. You wanted me, like, uh-uh. You're gonna figure this out.

Mhmm. So when I so, like, another thing I another thing that I noticed I was a special skill was I talked to myself. And how I figured that out was I'm like, okay. Miss Bay said that I see things with miss Bay said that I see things what other people don't see. So, like, what else?

Like, what else? What else? And I'm saying, what else? What else? What else?

I'm talking. I'm like, holy holy crap. I'm talking to myself right now. That's a special gift. So then I'm like, oh, my God.

I talk to myself all the time. Like, is this weird? Is this a good thing? Bad thing? And I'm like, no.

It's it's not. It's it's really not. And then I'm like, okay. What else? Like, what else I do?

我注意到我喜歡跟別人解釋事情。我當時就想，我的天哪。我怎麼這麼愛說話？我怎麼這麼喜歡解釋？然後，我越是開始挖掘關於我自己的東西，就越是沉迷其中。

而且我很喜歡爭論，而且我會一直爭論到得到答案為止。我可以問別人同樣的問題。我會說，好吧，讓我也問他們同樣的問題。我會換個方式。

Jeez. I'm a like a lawyer. If that don't work, I'm gonna switch it up again until I get an answer. And I I thought I was annoying, but no. That that that's a gift.

So Now I wanna stop you right there because I wanna talk to again, to the audience because I know that there are millions of Janayas out there right now who are listening, and you may be listening to this a year or two after this is being recorded, but you're you're still where she was. Your gifts are not annoying. They might annoy people who don't understand them, But some of those things that are just seem natural about you, they're probably undiscovered gifts that you just haven't mastered yet. And maybe everybody's telling you, stop always arguing. Stop talking so much.

Shut up. Don't nobody wanna hear out on questions. Shut the hell up. And some of you hear people talking to you like that. Right?

是的，一直都是這樣。那是因為他們不了解你擁有什麼。所以，你認為自己身上有些不好的地方，這並不適用於所有人、所有地方、所有事情，但確實適用於很多人。你認為自己身上有些不好的地方，其實可能是我們其他人需要的美好禮物。

現在，賈妮亞正在告訴你，她能夠看到，人們貶低她的那些東西，實際上是她擁有的寶貴財富，是上帝賦予她的，是她被創造時就擁有的。對吧？是的。是的。就像，一直以來都是這樣。

Did I give you to help you discover that? What helped me so the first assignment will actually help me, like, discover, wait, like, to to to discover who I am? Yeah. Well, let me back up to the other assignment that I gave you. What's the very first thing I had to do?

開花第一天，我得做很多事，感覺怪怪的？所以這挺奇怪的，不過我已經習慣了。她給了我潤膚露，說是自製的。我自己做的。那就用吧。

Yeah. Lotion. So she gave me lotion, and she was like, okay. I want you to I want you to take this lotion, rub it on yourself, and be like, I am beautiful. But then the second session, when I the second time I met the second time I was with her, sorry, she said, okay.

I want you to I want you to also say you are precious. So then I started to do it, do it, and do it. And I started to believe I actually started to believe in my mind, started to believe in now. I say, now I can say I'm precious without feeling weird. I can rub.

I can take lotion and rub it on my body and not feel weird about it at all. And it it works. So, you know, some of my family members think it's weird, but oh, well. So when I first when I first met you, when I first asked you to do that assignment, to rub motion on yourself and say these basically positive affirmations, but while doing the action of rubbing lotion, that was also scented. That was all intentional.

I'm very I paid a lot of attention to detail. And when you first did it, it was very weird. Right? I'm like, yeah. I'm like, oh, I am beautiful.

Why? Like, oh my god. This don't make sense at all. But it started making sense after a while. Yeah.

I got used to it. So it's like, you know what? Yeah. I'm precious. I'm beautiful.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. And now you can't tell her otherwise. But then after you got used to, you know, rubbing your hand and rubbing lotion on your body or whatever and and saying these positive affirmations, what did I have you do next? I started having you do those affirmations, but in a different way.

Wait. Affirmations? Wait. Who did you start talking to? You?

不。鏡子。哦，是我。我最好的朋友。我每天都和她說話。

And I was, like, more closer with myself, and now it's like I talked to myself in the mirror. Sometimes, like, I don't see myself in reflection. I'm not gonna get into that. But, it it actually it actually works because when I first when I first, started to when I first started to look myself in the mirror and tell myself about all these positive things, it was weird just like how I just like how I started with the lotion. But after that, it's like, hey, you.

I'm talking to you again. How are you doing today? So much so that you gotta, like, stop her from talking to herself now. But I wanna I wanna mention a detail that that I gave you at the time, and that was I had you specifically to look in the mirror and talk to yourself, look it into your own eyes. That is that was very difficult at first, wasn't it?

It was weird because it was very difficult because I will always talk to myself always. But, like, talking to myself in the mirror was just very weird for me. Now it's like yeah. Yeah. Now it's nothing to me now.

And as you as you begin to talk to yourself in the mirror more and more, was it like the was it like the lotion? Did you begin to feel more comfortable with it? Yeah. It's say it's the same thing, but the difference is I'm just talking to myself, like, in the, in the mirror now. So And just so listeners know, I actually don't even remember what the first thing that I had you say in the mirror was because when I have people do this activity, I customize it.

So it's not always I don't always have give everybody the same thing. I give them whatever saying is effective for them. So, and I also let them come up with some on their own. But as she began to to talk to herself in the mirror, if you are a person with low self esteem, that can be very intimidating. And it it's very, very, very hard at first.

But after a while, she began to believe what she said. So if you notice, I took her from rubbing motion on her hand to look at it in the mirror. I didn't take take her straight to me or talk because that would have been too overwhelming. And sometimes when we're trying to progress and get better in a certain area of life, we can't just jump from a to z. We need to travel the alphabet.

你知道嗎？我們需要循序漸進，或是一開始就從小事做起。有時我們會灰心喪氣，因為我們嘗試做某件事，卻沒有從a到z完成，因為我們沒有意識到我們需要按照字母順序來。我們需要循序漸進。正如你所聽到的，Janiyah的做法對她來說確實很有效。

But, in order for you to see that your way of thinking is actually a gift, there was another particular activity that I pushed you to do. What was it? There's there's a few. There's a one the one I'm looking for is when you started talking online. Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. So I So one of the activities that she had me do was commenting. And if commenting because she wanted me to see she wanted me to see all the feedback that got. And she said, okay. What do people say?

你收到過差評嗎？收到過好評嗎？隨便什麼。所以我做了什麼？來自其他訂單上的人。

你這麼做是為了從哪裡獲得回饋？評論。評論，並且運用我的思維。觀眾根本不知道你在說什麼。所以我才問這個問題。

哦，如果我說我看到了，那我就在TikTok上。 TikTok是一款很棒的應用程式。所以我會不停地滾動，如果我看到了什麼，我會評論。我只是評論，給我的回饋。有時候我會得到一些回饋，有時我會得到一些回饋，有時我會得到一些回饋，有時我會得到一些回饋，有時候我會得到一些回饋，有時我會得到一些回饋，有時我會得到一些回饋。

Yeah. So I'm gonna tell you what she told me before. When I I gave her that activity so that she could see that her way of thinking was a gift. And I I I saw all this stuff from about her from day one, and she didn't believe me. And and I could see that.

She didn't believe that I saw value in her. She didn't believe that I saw a diamond in the rough. She didn't believe that she had gifts and talents and intelligence. She didn't believe any of that. So I could have just said, you do have it, and I could have just told her that she has it.

But none of that matters. It doesn't matter what we tell people. What matters is what they believe for themselves. Yeah. Because when I was commenting, I noticed, like, why is everyone saying the same thing?

Like, no. We should talk about this. Why is no one talking about this? Like, basically, I'm thinking deeper in the picture, and everyone is, like, somewhere else. And I'm, like, really, like, I'm really, like, really thinking.

就像，我發現自己在擔心別人不擔心的事。我想說，Janiah 的思考方式是，她能把別人只看到點的點連結起來。是的。她能夠看到紙上事物的形狀，因為她知道如何把點連接起來，而別人只看到點。這真是一件幸事，因為正是像她這樣的人，我們才擁有了今天的科技。

People like her are why, court cases have have, been passed. People like her are why some of the laws we have have been passed. You know, some of the good things that we have is her way of thinking, you know, is is I needed her to see that for herself because I I can tell all of you that you're beautiful, you're strong, you're intelligent, you're blah blah blah, whatever your details are. None of that matters if you don't believe it for yourself. And sometimes you just need to do something to see that, wait a minute, I'm just not on the same level as everybody else.

I'm not it's not because you're you're you're dumb, but because you were thinking deeper. I would say most people are swimming in the shallow pool when she's over at the deep end doing backflips when it comes to when it comes to thought. Now one of the things that Janiyah is excellent at is giving analogies. So your sister one day asked you, who's this miss Bay to you? It's tell the audience what you explained to her who I am to you.

於是我告訴她，她是一位思維轉換教練，就像她說的。她問我，她做了什麼？她幫你做了什麼？我告訴她，你知道，我有很多自尊心問題，我覺得我是不是哪裡出了問題。但後來，你知道，她解決了這個問題。

And there was times where I felt like there was after miss Faye told me that, there was times where I felt like I'm like, you know what? Yeah. I'm stupid. I'm slow. Blah blah blah.

And then and then she told me like, I told I talked to miss Bey about it. I'm like, miss Bey, I really think I'm slow. I really think I'm this. And she's like, no. You're not.

她，然後她，就像，她讓我想起了我是誰。我可以把它比作，就像騎自行車一樣。你知道，當一個小孩第一次嘗試騎自行車時，你知道，然後他們的父母會扶著他們，幫助他們保持平衡。然後父母就放手了。然後，你知道，孩子會有點發抖，但是，你知道，孩子已經學會了。

He's getting it. But there were times where he felt. And then that's when the parent that's when the parent or whoever is teaching the kid the how to ride a bike, the parent will get the get their kid right back up, sit them down on a bike, hold them again, and, like, let them go. And after a while, the kid will ride will have after a while, the kid will end will end up learning how to ride the bike by itself, and that's what it was like for me. Yes.

And I thought and and I had Janiyah share that that, analogy with you because I just think it's a perfect analogy. But let me tell you, I'm really good in analogies. She like, sometimes she blows me away. I'm like, I need to write that down. So I keep telling her I'm a steal some of them.

She's just really, really good at at, really, really good at analogies. And that when she said that to me, I was like, wow, that really I was just floored when she said that. I'm like, that is a better analogy than anything I was thinking of, because as a coach, that that is that is what I wanna do. I part of the reason I started this podcast is what I've done with you, I want to do on a bigger scale for others. And if y'all listen long enough, I can.

但我想讓你們知道，你們在賈妮亞身上看到的勝利和美好，以及賈妮婭身上發生的改變，並非僅僅因為她自己，也並非僅僅因為我是一位出色的教練。而是因為團隊合作。你知道，我是教練。我激勵她，挑戰她。

I asked her questions, made her think. I plant thought seeds, I encourage her. I do all of that, but none of that matters if she's not a if she's not willing to receive it at night. And, also, another reason why who I am today, because I also got my support from my go to a after school program that calls the Creative Connections Clubhouse and how it was like Yeah. Amsterdam, New York.

他們太棒了。是的，他們真的很棒。對我來說，就像那些工人一樣，他們看到了我的價值。所以他們所做的，就像，我是種子，他們是播種者。

So they decided to, like, take the seed, put it in soil, but miss Bay came and watered me, and I, like, I grew. And that's that's how it was also like. I gotta comment on that. What what she's saying, what I wanna point out about what she just said is that, yes, I coached her. I'm there to encourage her.

I'm there to push her and and and and help her and all of that, but it's not just me alone. She had support outside of me, and that matters. We need the people around us to also be the encouragers. Because even though I was there to help, it wouldn't have been the same if if if the the wonderful people at the creative connection clubhouse didn't also encourage her. I pushed her.

他們做了很多鼓勵她的事情，並在其他方面幫助她。他們幫她拿到了許可證。他們真的很棒。但你需要有人幫忙。對她來說，是創意聯誼俱樂部（Creative Connection Clubhouse）的人。

對其他人來說，可能是家人，可能是學校裡的人，也可能不是你的家人，可能是你身邊任何能幫你的人。重要的是，如果你是個成年人，聆聽你的傾訴，也要像鼓勵青少年一樣。

You don't know what's going on in their head. They might be smiling at you and looking like, yeah. Okay. But on the inside, they might be feeling like a ball of crap. And your encouragement might make the difference on them coming out from that and and feeling better about themselves.

現在我想簡單聊聊你決定成為家庭律師這件事。我有沒有跟你說過，這就是你的職業使命？沒有。沒有。我讓你自己去發現。

And the truth is Janiah is capable of a lot of other things besides just being a lawyer, but that's the one that she's most passionate about. She's capable of quite a few positions. But when you decided that, I I you know, family lawyer is specifically that's exactly what I wanna be, and now you're very stern about it. You're very serious about it. How did you arrive at that conclusion?

So, how I how I discovered I want to be a family lawyer because you gave me an assignment, and you told me was you told me whatever you wanted to do when you was, like, younger. That's that's why that is why you think if you that's why you think very differently, and that's why you, you you talk a lot and and, you explain a lot of stuff. So then one night, I'm sitting on a couch, and I'm like, what the hell did I wanted to do when I was, like, little? So I'm thinking about so I'm thinking about all the past things I wanted to do. So the only thing I could really thought of, I'm like, well, when I was little, I I said I wanted to be a gymnast at the Olympics.

And I'm like, but that has nothing to do with why I that has nothing to do on why I see things that other people don't see in my other special gifts. I'm like, what about an operator? I'm like, no. So then I'm like, so then I remembered when I was 14, I I wanted to be a lawyer. So I remembered I wanted to be a lawyer.

於是我就想，我的天哪。這就是為什麼我擁有這些，這就是為什麼我能看到所有這些，這就是為什麼我可以看到別人看不到的東西。這就是為什麼我要解釋很多事情。這就是為什麼我總是爭論，因為我天生就是當律師的料。但後來我又想，好吧。

嗯，律師有很多種類型。那麼，哪一種呢？於是我就在谷歌上搜索，看看有哪些類型的律師。我看到了各種類型的律師，其中也包括家庭律師。我查看了他們的職位，以了解他們的工作內容。

I'm like, oh my God, this is for me because I can help kids. I can also help kids because I wanna be that person. I wanna be that person what my younger self needed. And that's and that and that when I figured that out, that motivated me even more to go to school and go to college. And now I'm just more excited than ever.

And what is it that you're doing right now to prepare for college? Doing scholarships. Yes, y'all. She and why are you looking up scholarships? To help to, spend less money in college.

To not be in debt in college after. Yes. We're gonna do a whole another show on that. But, but that's something that I I had her really, really look into. And what else encouraged you to to stay on the path of looking, of seeking to be a a, family lawyer?

You had a conversation with somebody. Oh, I spoke to another. So miss Bay helped miss Bay, helped me helped me to try to find someone who was a family lawyer to, like, to make sure I really wanna do this. And then I then she found one, and then we spoke we spoke on the phone. And I'm like, aft so she's telling me what comes with being a lawyer, and she's just explaining it, telling me telling me the things, what you have to do, what she recommended.

我當時就想，是啊。這對我來說真的很重要。就是那一天，我才知道。我當時就想，是啊。我天生就是要當家庭律師的。

I got this. So for those of you listening, I I I hope that you can get out of what she just said. I connected her with a family lawyer because I wanted her to be sure. I saw that she was making the right choice, but, again, it doesn't matter what I think because I'm not living her life she is. She has to be determined.

She has to to have the drive to do what she needs to do, not me. So I put her in connection with a lawyer so that she can make sure that this is really what the path that she wanted to go on. And once once she did, now her determination is even greater. And, our time is up. But, Janiyah, I just want to say, I am so so proud of you.

我知道我私下說過這些，但我還是會在直播中再次強調。我為你現在的樣子，以及你正在成為的樣子感到無比驕傲，因為你承認這一切才剛開始。是的。感謝你們來參加節目，你們會聽到更多關於Janiah的消息，因為她會和其他人一起出現在接下來的節目中。再次感謝你，Janiah，也再次感謝各位聽眾。

現在，讓我們換個角度思考。我現在特別想和那些和賈尼亞一樣的年輕女性談談。你們覺得自己很愚蠢，一文不值，覺得自己一無是處。我想讓你們知道，事實並非如此。如果你現在正在聽，你確實有天賦，有才能，有智慧。你的智慧可能只是在別人看不到的地方，或是別人意想不到的地方。

Doesn't mean it's not there. And like Janiyah, you too can turn yourself around. What you have to first do is decide that you are going to discover who you are. What are your gifts and talents? Because I promise you, once you discover that, a whole lot of other things will start looking up.

And if even if I never meet you, I want you to know that you have value and you're cared about. Thank you for listening to Mindshift Power podcast. Please like and subscribe to my YouTube channel at the mind shifter. If you have any comments, topic suggestions, or would like to be a guest on the show, please visit fatimabay.com/podcast. Remember, there's power in shifting your thinking.

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